How To Deal With Failure
Realizing that your future plans are not meant to be can be discouraging. A university graduate asks how to overcome failure when his career plans didn’t work out the way he planned.“Show/Hide
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An irrational desire to achieve one’s goals while being overly critical of oneself and even others.
Brother Donald: And this intense pressure to be perfect leads so many young people to experience stress, anxiety, and even other mental health problems or issues, more than ever before.
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73% of all working adults aged 20 to 64 report at least some level of stress.
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There are worries about being educated and not being able to find a job; concerns about cost of living and debt.
Brother Donald: Andre’s here to talk about a very challenging time in his life, when one of his biggest hopes for his career, well, it didn’t work out the way he thought it would.
So, join us in our conversation, and let’s look for The Solution together.
Brother Donald: Hi, Andre.
Brother Donald: Glad to have you here on the program.
Andre: Thank you for having me, brother. Thank you.
Brother Donald: So why are you here today? What is your situation what is it that you’ve been encountering?
Andre: I just graduated a couple months ago. I had a plan—
Brother Donald: What was your plan?
Andre: Right after I graduated Kinesiology, I get into chiropractic school, you know, get that over with, and then start working.
Brother Donald: So it looks like you really had your, your life planned out in ways when it came to your career.
Andre:Yeah, so that’s how I envisioned it, with no kind of bumps in the road, so to speak, and up until now, what happened was I didn’t get into the school that I envisioned or wanted to go to. And that was a moment that was very heartbreaking, disappointing for me. I’ve worked hard and long, and that was the only thing that I thought of—that vision, and that was the vision that I had.
Brother Donald: Did you assume that, naturally, you would be approved to enter?
Andre: All throughout my academic yeas, I’ve been accepted to the schools that I’ve wanted to go to, I’ve had good grades because I’ve never really been rejected before with regards to my academics. It really did get to me.
Brother Donald: So it was a shock to your system in ways.
Andre: For sure, and I think a lot of it came from the pressure that I put on myself, and also a little bit of external pressure.
Brother Donald: It really sounds as if this was like a changing, pivotal point in your life when it comes to, for the first time experiencing a failure in ways. But the truth is, Andre, this is nothing new. And in fact we can read here in the book of Job 17, verses 11:
My days have passed;
my plans have failed;
my hope is gone.
(Job 17:11 Good News Bible)
Brother Donald: Please notice, when it came to even Job, who was a developed servant of God, he experienced a bitter disappointment, and in truth all of these happened within the space of 24 hours.
Brother Donald: He lost his family, meaning to say his 10 children, he lost all of these wealth when it came to his livestock. And he was even afflicted with an illness or sickness that covered his entire body. And please notice, he says, “my plans have failed.” In truth, what did he mean when he says “plans have failed?” If we read the same citation Job 17:11, and including verse 15 from the New International Version it is stated:
My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart.
Where then is my hope – who can see any hope for me?
(Job 17:11 & 15 New International Version)
Brother Donald: When you experienced that disappointment, did you feel in ways the same? Did you feel as if, “where’s my hope?”
Andre: My heart shattered, and it’s different for everybody, but for me I was so focused, and for it to fall through and not happen—I did feel hopeless. I was very down for a couple weeks, where I just didn’t want to talk to anybody. The ultimate reason: I just felt like I failed myself and I failed others…
Brother Donald: How about when it came to your parents?
Andre: My parents were actually very supportive. My decision to go into the schools that I wanted to go to. Again, that pressure got to me mentally, where it got me anxious and I felt lost. So, my question is, with regards to everyone else, and I know there’s probably a lot of people watching this who are going through the same phases and same problems I have gone through, how do I deal with the pressure and anxiety, and how do I deal with the failure of something that I planned not coming through? I’m looking for enlightenment on that.
Brother Donald: First and foremost, when it comes to the solution, of course it will come from not myself, but rather from the Holy Bible. It contains the words of God. And we can read in Psalms 40, and the verses are 11, 13 and 16, the following:
Lord, I know you will never stop being merciful to me. Your love and loyalty will always keep me safe. Save me, Lord! Help me now! May all who come to you be glad and joyful. May old who are thankful for your salvation always say, “How great is the Lord.”
(Psalms 40:11, 13, 15 Today’s English Version)
Brother Donald: One should place their hope and trust in God. Why? Because God is the one who made us. He is the Creator. He knows what is best for those whom he has created. And that is why, when one will place their faith and trust in God, God in turn will be able to help them. So, especially when it comes to a young person like yourself, who’s had their life per se planned out. And here now is this hitch when it comes to your situation. Why should we place our hope and trust in God? Allow the Bible once again to answer. This time we’re going to read from the book of Jeremiah, the chapter is 29 and the verse is 11.
I alone, know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.
(Jeremiah 29:11 Today’s English Version)
Andre: Again, just going back to the verses that you’ve read, I feel secure knowing He’s always got my back.
Brother Donald: Oh, for sure. As long as we place our trust and our faith, He will have our back, He will fulfill His promise to help us to be successful. In fact, we can read the additional promises of God to those who placed their hope and trust in Him. Psalms 91, the verses are 9-10, 14-16. Let’s read it.
You have made the Lord your defender, the Most High your protector, and so no disaster will strike you, no violence will come near your home. God says, “I will save those who love me. I will protect those who acknowledge me as Lord. When they call to me, I will answer them, when they are in trouble, I will be with them. I will rescue them and honor them. I will reward them with long life; I will save them.”
(Psalms 91-9-10 & 14-16 Today’s English Version)
Brother Donald: Please notice when it comes to those who have placed their hope and trust in God, He’s going to be there. As you said earlier, He’s going to have their back. When it comes to their future, God says, “I will reward them.” So, it is hoped, Andre, that when it comes to our discussion today, we’re thankful to God that we caught you at this point of your life.
Andre: You know, it’s, it feels very relieving that there’s always someone there, and that’s something that I’m going to keep going forward with, because I know there will be times where it’s rough in life, and, like you said, not go down, you know, a different path, because one thing or one thought can really steer you to another direction, but once you have that safety and you know that everything will be okay, and that God is always there.
Brother Donald: I’m glad you did benefit from our program today.
Andre: Thank you.
Brother Donald: It is an honor and pleasure to meet you.
Andrew: Thank you for having me.
Brother Donald: We wish you the very best when it comes to your future.