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bride and groom arm in arm

Dear Future Husband, Future Wife

What if you could speak to your future husband or wife? What would you say? What kind of message would you leave for them?


Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife

[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: Have you ever wished you owned a time machine? To be able to fast forward into the future to see what God has in store? And when it comes to love, have you ever wondered when you would meet the one you’re going to get married to? Wouldn’t you want to know right now? 

Well, since we don’t have a time machine, Heart & Soul has the next best thing. What if you could write a love letter, to your future husband or wife?

Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

Dear future wife, I’ll do the dishes AND the laundry. 

Dear future husband, our future home will stay between 68 and 72 degrees at all times.

Dear future wife, whoever you are, wherever you are, we will meet someday.

[Music Transition]

Martin: Back in August 2019, on Instagram at @incmedianews using #heartandsoulconversations we asked our audience to write a short letter, message, or comment to their future wife or husband. Something for their future partner to look back at and read to see just how long they’ve been praying and thinking about them. We had thousands of replies, ranging from those wondering “God, will I ever get married?” to “I trust God’s perfect timing.” We even had a couple of apologies too.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Dear future wife. First of all I would like to apologize. I’m sorry it took so long for me to find you. Sorry I took a detour in my life. But the one thing I’m not sorry about is meeting you and falling in love with you every single day of my life. I may or may not know who you are, but I do know that you will always have a place in my heart and that I will love and cherish you regardless of any trials and hardships that come our way. May we both go on many adventures, and experience new things together. But more importantly, may we always continue to perform our duties and serve the Lord together as one…… 

[Music Transition]

Waiting for the right Christian man to come along is something many of our female listeners are doing right now. But even though they’re waiting, they’re not all in any rush.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Dear future husband, hi! I hope you won’t appear soon, I haven’t graduated yet, I want to make Ma & Pa proud, my dream is to study for my masters and if possible for my doctorate, so take your time, there’s no rush, I know you’ll arrive in God’s perfect time.

Martin: And even if some are eager to find the right Christian man soon, their thoughts remain hopeful, and focused on an even greater purpose.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

To my future husband, I might be so lost right now, but I know I’ll find my way to you, through our God. Wherever you are, I hope you are staying safe and healthy! I can’t wait for the day when I’ll be able to finally meet you. I look forward to come home to you, everyday. For now, let us keep ourselves busy and occupied doing works for our Almighty Father.

Martin: Some of our male listeners even asked for a little patience, while they continued trusting in God for a wife.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Dear Future Wife: I have a message for you… I know you’re out there. Somewhere. I know you’re waiting for me to find you. But please, I beg you. Be patient. Each day that passes brings me closer and closer to you. I’m working on myself. I want to be that knight in shining armor for you. So I’m working on being more active in the Church than I’ve ever been. I’m working on performing my duties to a higher level. Because it’s the armor of God I want to have on for you. I pray that you can wait for me. I pray for your happiness. I pray for you every day. I pray you’ll be the one that inspires me to be stronger. I pray that you continue to be active in the Church. Because I know that God won’t let us truly see each other until we are both ready.

I can’t promise you that we’ll have a perfect relationship but what I can promise is that I will love you every single day of my life. 

I know I’m not perfect and I have a couple of flaws, but I know you will accept me wholeheartedly. 

I have a lot of things to say to you, my future wife, but I prefer to say it to you personally, whoever you are.

You know our Almighty God knows best, and I trust in His timing. You’ll be worth the wait.

Martin: Joining us now is Bro. Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hello Brother Donald!

Bro. Donald: Hello, Bro. Martin! How are you?

Martin: I’m good. Thank you so much for joining us. Now when you were younger, did you ever imagine the kind of wife you would end up with? How did you meet your wife and what can you say after all these years, on the journey you’ve gone on together?

Bro. Donald: Hello to all of our listeners. And to answer your first question, yes, when I was younger, like many other people I was wondering where out there in the world was Mrs. Right for me. What would she look like? Where would we meet? And how could I be sure that she was the one? All of these and other questions entertained my thoughts especially when I started to enter adulthood.

Then, eventually in 1984, I met Lyda. I never imagined that she would become my wife a few years later. In fact, she was very active when it comes to her Church activities, most especially when it came to inviting people to Church activities, primarily when it comes to the worship services and Bible Studies. And she did exactly for me; she invited me to attend a worship service, which I did. I kept on going because it was interesting and at that time in my life I was really looking for answers. 

Eventually I underwent Bible Studies and all thanks be to God, I eventually become a baptized member of the Church. However, during all that time, when it came to myself and Lyda, we didn’t share any romantic feelings for one another. But, as the passage of time, or as we went through the passage of time, we got to know each other better, and we started to develop and appreciate a deeper understanding, until we reached the point when we realized that it was actually God, God was the one who was bringing us together. So because of this we got married in December, 1986. For many years before then, I had a mental image and assessment of whom I thought would be the wife for me. But instead, I eventually discovered that God knew who was best for me, just as what the Bible teaches in Proverbs 19:14:

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

[Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]

Bro. Donald: And when we say prudent, sensible, and understanding wife a suitable spouse. And that is exactly how I can describe Lyda. She understands me. She is very helpful. And of course she is caring and she’s also loving. So when it comes to single adults this is something that we should understand; that when it comes the soulmate that we may be looking for, when we’re looking for that significant other, we can’t base it just on physical looks. We can’t base it on how we think that person is. We have to really know them but at the same time we need to let the Lord our God act on our behalf. God is the one who will help one or another to find their significant other.

Martin: That’s such a wonderful story Brother Donald. And you know, in the process of you growing up, becoming a young adult, did you ever feel impatient like you wanted that special someone to come sooner? Were you someone who was like, oh, when when she comes, she comes and I’m not in any rush? 

Bro. Donald: Oh, in truth, as I entered into adulthood, of course, the search was on in ways it’s almost automatic. And I was looking for someone significant. Of course, I would meet certain individuals. But that spark, we can say that chemistry wasn’t quite there. So even though it may be fleeting, or momentarily, it wasn’t something that was going to last it didn’t fill that certain void within me. You know, the search went on. 

Martin: Now what advantage Brother Donald do members of the Church Of Christ have one trusting God in their singleness or single life and how does it help them feel less alone? Because for those single right now who might be listening, that’s why there’s so much urgency, is because they feel alone. They feel like they need to fill that void as soon as possible. And that’s why they need to find someone as soon as possible. 

Bro. Donald: Yes, well as being members of the Church Of Christ, what is very, very important, in fact, it’s absolutely critical is for one to place their hope and their trust, and we’re talking about wholehearted hope and trust in God. Because God makes known the reason why we should do so in Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

[Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version]

Bro. Donald: It’s quite evident, then that we should trust the Lord our God to bless us in every stage of our life, whether it be in our adolescence, our teenage years, or when we become adults, because God knows what is best for us at any given point. So some may be adults, and they’re enjoying being single, they’re not in a rush to get married, while others may be seeking earnestly that significant other in their life. When it comes to such individuals, they shouldn’t get anxious, nor envious of their peers, if they see them peeling off and getting romantically involved with someone while they remain playing the virtual waiting game. Because while waiting for the time to come, that they may meet, Mr. or Mrs. Right, and then enter into married life with the spouse that God blesses them with, or they should still continue to trust in God. And in fact, let’s have faith in what the Bible says in Psalms 37:4-5:

Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the Lord trusting Him and He will help you.

[Psalms 37:4-5 Today’s English Version]

Bro. Donald: Again, the key here, I believe Brother Martin, is for one to really place their hope and trust in God, because God knows what’s best, it’s very difficult than it could be a grave mistake to take matters in our own hands in the sense that we meet somebody and without even allowing time to build up a relationship or to get to know that individual, we just rush headlong into marriage. And sad to say it has happened, that there are those who we read about it oftentimes in the news. Were there those who believe that they had chemistry, but that chemistry was just in one aspect of their relationship. And after a short passage of time, they regret their mistakes and they separate ways. Well, this should not be because we also uphold what the Bible teaches about marriage. The Bible teaches that we are bound together by the laws of God, and that is a lifetime bind. So marriage in itself is a lifetime commitment. That is why we should trust God through our prayers, for Him to allow us to meet that individual eventually, that will be right for us. 

Martin: And when you mentioned rushing headlong into commitments, and lifelong promises, like marriage, it all the more points to the importance of timing. So what does the Scriptures say about God’s timing? 

Bro. Donald: Well, nobody can come close. God knows when a perfect time he strikes on our behalf. And the Bible even teaches that in I Peter 5:6-7: 

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you.

[I Peter 5:6-7 New King James Version]

Bro. Donald: Please notice, the Bible teaches that God is going to exalt us, He’s going to bless us, He is going to raise us up in due time or at the proper time. And because of this, it is stated that we should cast all our care upon Him, all of our concerns, including the hope of meeting that significant other through prayer, because the Lord our God, He’s going to manifest his care and love for us. 

Martin: So as we wait for God’s correct and perfect timing, we noticed that a lot of the comments from our listeners was that they’re okay with waiting for God’s time. They’re okay with knowing that he or she will come when the moment is right. And so why are so many members of the Church Of Christ happy to remain focused on improving and working on their duties and their spiritual lives first? 

Bro. Donald: Well, it’s because then we can read in 1 Corinthians 15:58, that when one is busy in serving God, it’s for their betterment. In fact, let’s read the citation. 

So then, my dear friends, stand firm and steady. keep busy always in your work for the Lord. Since you know that nothing you do in the Lord service is ever useless. 

[1 Corinthians 15:58 Today’s English Version]

Bro. Donald: Nothing we do in the Lord service is ever useless meaning to say everything we do in the Lord service is useful or beneficial. All the more we will receive the blessings of God in this life and in the life to come. So that’s why when it comes to many members of the Church, including the young adults, not just the adolescence, they remain fervent when it comes to their worship service, when it comes to helping others to find meaning to the life and existence by inviting them to Church activities, the members of the Church Of Christ, they busy themselves. And this is good in the sight of God. 

And not only that, if we consider it on a human level, instead of just sitting in a corner, and be wailing the fact that we haven’t met yet, our future spouse, if we consider what that will do to a person emotionally is it not more that they will become despondent, they’ll feel down? But at the same time, if one is busy, then we have less time to worry about our situation, we won’t be so so anxious, and again, we will not be envious of our close friends or our peers whom we see are getting married. 

One thing that we’d like to mention to all the young adults inside the Church is that the Lord our God has made us as when we say perfect in the sense that we are complete. We do not need another individual to make our life more significant or to make us complete. That individual may be supplemental, but when it comes to us personally, well the Lord our God has made us just as He wants us to be. That is why again, it is extremely important that we have a positive outlook on our life, we place our confidence in the Lord our God so that we can enjoy our journey through this word or through this life, knowing that through our compliance with the teachings of God, everything is going to go well for us, we can be confident of this, because this is also the assurance the Bible gives in 1 Samuel 12:14:

All will go well with you. If you honor the Lord your God, serve him, listen to him, and obey his commands. And if you and your king follow him,

[1 Samuel 12:14]

Martin: Thank you so much for that Brother Donald. You know, as I listened to the spiritual guidance that you’re providing through the Scriptures, you know, reminds me of when I was in my early 20s, I used to keep a journal and I would write in those moments where I, you know, felt kind of down and alone and was wondering when I would meet the one who was meant to be with. And as I was writing the script for this episode, I found an entry where I was asking, you know, “what am I going to find you? Where are we going to meet? And how long do I have to wait?” And it makes me smile reading that because even though in those moments when I was younger, I thought I had no idea where when or how you’re right that that I never lost confidence that so long as I stayed true to my faith and to my duties and always putting my focus and trust in God that she would arrive eventually. And she did. Praise be to God.

Bro. Donald: Yeah, Praise be to God. Again, we’d like to mention how we shouldn’t become fraught with worry or anxiety as we get older, and we are not yet married. Because what’s most important is our service to God, the ultimate goal. And the aim of every member of the Church is of course, salvation. And on the road to salvation, there are sacrifices, and there are difficulties. There’s a lot of events that we have to endure in order to attain salvation. So for some members of the Church, they don’t mind being by themselves, in the sense that they don’t have a spouse as they continue in their sojourn. 

Others may be looking for a spouse, but again, the Lord our God knows what is best. We should not, you know, just jump and grab at something that may pass us by, and then afterwards totally regret our decision, knowing full well that again, being members of the Church, we abide by the teachings of the Bible, that marriage, again, is a lifetime commitment. We don’t want to make that mistake. That is why it is incumbent upon us to place all our hope and trust in God. God knows when the time is. God knows who that individual should be. And if we have to patiently wait. And while patiently waiting, we remain performing our duties at serving God well again we will be blessed.

Martin: Thank you so much for that Brother Donald, one last question before we end this episode. You’re a very proud and happy father and now you’re also a proud and very happy grandfather. When little Hezekiah gets a little bit older and he starts you know, reaching that stage in his life where he’s thinking about finding the one, what kind of message would you give him? What kind of advice would you pass to your grandson?

Bro. Donald: I would tell Kiah as I call him, to conduct his devotional prayer, when it comes to what will be included in the prayer that God is going to allow him to meet an individual that is going to be someone who not only loves him, and that he in turn loves, but also will be supportive of him when it comes to the faith. That together with God be willing their children, they can remain active in honoring and praising, and also in serving our Father in heaven. That before he gets married, he should be very careful. He does not want the Lord God’s ire or anger to be inflicted upon him, because of the many temptations in this world, but rather to strive to live his life as a as a man of God, even though he may still be young, but a young man of God at that time, knowing full well that again, if he holds on to what God has promised to his chosen people, then he will be successful. And the Lord our God will plot the course of his life, that he can be of benefit when it comes to the Church, that personally he will also be rewarded. And he along with his family, again, they will be blessed

Martin: Well we want to thank you so much for joining us, Brother Donald, thank you so much to our listeners. We want to continue this conversation so please follow us using our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart & Soul. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time, ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care.