Is Self-Love Wrong?
Brother Richard Juatco: With the development of social media, many ideas, opinions, and concepts have been able to spread rapidly and create movements within communities and groups of people. Some of the concepts that are increasingly getting attention and acceptance are self-love, self-care, self-acceptance, self-compassion, etcetera.
Now, is there anything wrong with these concepts? This is what we’ll study today, here, on The Message.
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The MESSAGE
Brother Richie Juatco: Hello! I’m Brother Richie Juatco and with me here in our San Francisco Bay Area Studios is Brother Bernard Daos. Hey, Brother Bernard. Thanks for joining us again.
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Brother Richie Juatco
Minister of the Gospel
Brother Bernard Daos: Hello, Brother Richie. Thanks for having me.
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Brother Bernard Daos
Minister of the Gospel
Brother Bernard: More often than not, the phrase that is used to represent an idea or concept in social media, it can be very positive and challenging to disagree with. But as we’ve learned in our other episodes, we must be careful today, because the meanings and definitions of words and phrases are quickly changing.
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IS SELF-LOVE WRONG?
Are modern-day concepts of self-love wrong?
Brother Richie: So how are people today defining the term self-love?
Brother Bernard: Well, some say that self-love is defined as a deliberate act that you make in order to provide care and compassion for yourself first and foremost. It is the act of putting your own happiness, your own well-being, first. And they say if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love another.
Brother Richie: So based on these definitions, it seems like self-love really puts a person’s self, or their happiness, well-being, care, at the center of his or her life. It would seem as though the self comes first and foremost. So now we ask, based on the Bible, Brother Bernard, is this wrong?
Brother Bernard: Well, then let’s turn to the Bible, here in the book of Matthew, chapter 22, verse 35 to 38. Here is what we can read:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
[Matthew 22:35-38 New International Version]
Brother Bernard: So contrary to modern-day concepts of self-love, the first and greatest commandment that needs to be fulfilled is to, “love the Lord your God.” Now, how could one go about showing their love for God? The Bible says, “with all your heart,” “with all your soul and with all your mind.”
Now we’ve also learned in our previous episodes of The Message that the biblical definition of love for God means that we obey His commandments, which is written in the book of I John, chapter 5, verse 3. So take note, it should be God’s happiness that we put first or before our own happiness.
Brother Richie: Now we understand that not everyone in the world believes in God, or is religious, or chooses to follow God’s words written in the Bible. So it is important to distinguish the two very different points of view: one where the individual really is the center of life, and another way of viewing life through the eyes of a servant of God.
How should God’s people regard themselves?
Brother Bernard: So as God’s people,or the servants of God, what is God’s instruction that needs to be followed on how we should regard ourselves?
Brother Richie: Well for that answer will turn to what’s recorded in Colossians 3:12, and it says this:
Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper].
[Colossians 3:12 Amplified Classic Edition]
Brother Richie: Now as we read, we should clothe ourselves or behave in a way that is kind and have, notice it says, “a lowly opinion” of ourselves. What is one way to show that we don’t think too highly of ourselves, but rather we have humility? We should be patient with each other. Now what does that mean? Well, we read, “patience … is tireless and long-suffering and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper.” So people who always put themselves first, they will not have the humility to be patient with others.
Brother Bernard: But Brother Richie, if having humility is a characteristic, a behavioral trait, that we should strive to have, who is the best example for us to follow or to learn from?
Brother Richie: Oh, that’s a good question, Brother Bernard. We’ll get our biblical response here in Philippians 2:5,4, it says:
Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:] Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.
[Philippians 2:5,4 Amplified Classic Edition]
Brother Richie: So the Bible teaches us that Jesus Christ should, as we read, be our example in humility. How so? Well, we read, let His “same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you.” Now what instruction was given to prove we have His same attitude?
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Brother Richie Juatco
Minister of the Gospel
Brother Richie: Well we read, “be concerned for not [merely] his own interest, but also each for the interests of others.” So since the Lord Jesus Christ really is our ultimate example, we can always use Him as a guide to navigate through all these different concepts being promoted today.
Brother Bernard: So for those who do strive to follow the Lord Jesus Christ as the example to follow, what is the instruction when it comes to the concept of putting ourselves first, maybe before others?
Brother Richie: Well, Brother Bernard, we read verses five and four, so we’ll just read here in verse three. It says:
Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves].
[Philippians 2:3 Amplified Classic Edition]
Brother Richie: The instruction is clear that we should, it says, “Do nothing from factional motives,” like “selfishness … prompted by conceit and empty arrogance.” Therefore, we shouldn’t think of ourselves first and foremost before anyone else.
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Is Self-Love Wrong?
Brother Richie: Now what is a better way of viewing ourselves in comparison with others? The Bible teaches, “let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself.” Now what does that mean? It means, “thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves.” Why should we think like this? Well, we read, this is “in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind).”
Again, we can see two very different points of view when it comes to how we should regard ourselves; from what is being promoted online, and what is being instructed in the Bible.
How can we become spiritually mature?
Brother Richie: So for true Christians, instead of focusing so much on ourselves, Brother Bernard, what is a way to move past that and to actually mature?
Brother Bernard: Well, let’s continue to listen to what the Bible is teaching us, here in the book of Ephesians, chapter four, and verse 16. Please listen:
He enables all those who belong to him to mature spiritually. Specifically, they will become mature spiritually by loving each other and by each of them doing the work that God wants them to do. That is like a person’s body grows stronger, as each part of the body is joined to the others by the ligaments and as each part [functions properly/works as it should].
[Ephesians 4:16 Translation for Translators]
Brother Bernard: So the way to become spiritually mature is by “loving each other.” Now, how else can true Christians grow mature? We read, “by each of them doing the work that God wants them to do.” So this is where we should focus our love, our attention. True Christians do not think of themselves as the center of life or the center of the universe, but rather they think of themselves as each a part of the body.
Now we have studied before, in our previous episodes, that the head of this body, which is composed of the true Christians, is the Lord Jesus Christ. And that body is His Church, as we can read in the book of Colossians, chapter 1, verse 18, which is why the true Christians are the members of the Church Of Christ, as we can read in Acts 20, verse 28.
Brother Richie: So because of the whole self-love, self-care movement today, we’ve noticed that a trending search online is actually Bible verses about self-love. So we can see, Brother Bernard, many are wondering if the Bible actually supports these concepts. Now, although we’ve already learned that the way people are promoting self-love and self-care is not the same as what the Bible teaches, does the Bible mention loving oneself and, if so, in what way or for what purpose?
Brother Bernard: Brother Richie, it does, and let’s go back to what we read earlier in the Book of Matthew, chapter 22, verse 35, but this time, we’ll read all the way to verse 39:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
[Matthew 22:35-39 New International Version]
Brother Bernard: Here we can clearly see that the Bible does mention loving oneself, but not for the purpose of really loving yourself, but more as a reference on how to love your neighbor or your fellow man.
Brother Richie: Brother, Bernard, where else does the Bible mention about loving oneself?
Brother Bernard: Let’s get another biblical example, here in the Book of Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 28 and also I’ll read verse 29:
Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church;
[Ephesians 5:28-29 Good News Translation]
Brother Bernard: Again, we can see another biblical teaching regarding loving ourselves or our own bodies. Now, how do we go about loving our own bodies? The Bible reminds us, “we feed them,” we “take care of them.”
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Brother Bernard Daos
Minister of the Gospel
Brother Benard: And even how does a man prove that he loves himself? The Bible teaches, “A man who loves his wife loves himself.” Also, we should notice the reference, just as the Lord Jesus Christ loves or does to the Church. So again, we can see that the way social media is teaching self-love is very different in purpose, or intention, from the way the Bible is teaching it.
Brother Richie: Again, Brother Bernard, it’s so enlightening to see that there is an actual purpose for that. Where else can we read that, that purpose, that intention of loving ourselves?
Brother Bernard: One more biblical example, here in the book of Acts, chapter 20, verse 28, let’s read:
Take heed therefore to yourselves and to all the flock, over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you overseers, to feed the church of Christ which he has purchased with his blood.
[Acts 20:28 George M. Lamsa’s Translation]
Brother Bernard: Here we see that there are overseers placed in the Church Of Christ, and they are given a very important instruction. What was the instruction? We read, “Take heed therefore to yourselves.” What does “take heed“mean? Well, if we read the same verse in another translation, it states “take care and be on guard for yourselves” or “pay careful attention to yourselves.”
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Is Self-Love Wrong?
Brother Bernard: Now why are they instructed by the apostles to take care of themselves? It is because they are being tasked to feed or to take care of the flock, which is the Church. Take note, they were not taught to put themselves before the Church, but the exact opposite.
In fact, we can see proof of this, if we continue to read the book of Acts, chapter 20, verse 24 this time. Listen to what Apostle Paul declares for us:
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may accomplish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, …
[Acts 20:24 Revised Standard Version]
Brother Bernard: So you see, we are taught to love and take care of ourselves in order to love and take care of others, not to simply put our own happiness as first and foremost.
Brother Richie: Now, as we mentioned earlier, the phrases used to represent ideas or concepts in social media, they really are usually very positive—but we need to be extremely careful and actually examine these concepts others promote. Very few people contest phrases like self-love, self-care, self-acceptance, but with careful examination, we see that the underlying concept is actually self-centeredness. When people put their happiness first, before anything else, it is their own wants, their own desires, that dictate their life.
Brother Bernard: So, Brother Richie, with these concepts gaining so much popularity on social media, going viral, what does this actually tell us or indicate to us about the world we live in today? And what is the Bible’s instruction to all of us?
Brother Richie: Well, we’ll turn to what is recorded in II Timothy, we’ll read chapter 3, verses 1 to 5 to respond to that question. It says:
But you need to be aware that in the final days the culture of society will become extremely fierce and difficult for the people of God. People will be self-centered lovers of themselves and obsessed with money. They will boast of great things as they strut around in their arrogant pride and mock all that is right. They will ignore their own families. They will be ungrateful and ungodly. They will become addicted to hateful and malicious slander. Slaves to their desires, they will be ferocious, belligerent haters of what is good and right. With brutal treachery, they will act without restraint, bigoted and wrapped in clouds of their conceit. They will find their delight in the pleasures of this world more than the pleasures of the loving God. They may pretend to have a respect for God, but in reality they want nothing to do with God’s power. Stay away from people like these!
[II Timothy 3:1-5 The Passion Translation]
Brother Richie: According to what we have read, and what we are witnessing, we know the period of time we are living in. What time are we in now? The Bible teaches, we are “in the final days.” What is the evidence? How are people described in the final days, which we can clearly see happening now? We read, “People will be self-centered lovers of themselves,” “slaves to their desires,” and ”wrapped in clouds of their conceit.”
Unfortunately, we see this happening now. And what might happen to some who are already in the Church Of Christ? The Bible forewarned that, “They will find their delight in the pleasures of this world more than the pleasures of the loving God.” So what does the Bible instruct us regarding these people? We read, “Stay away from people like these!”
Brother Bernard: And for our guests and viewers, this is precisely the reason all of us—we need to be careful, especially in these last days, in these times, regarding accepting or adapting to popular trends and movements, especially on social media.
Remember, there are phrases and concepts on social media that sound positive, but under closer examination, they actually go against what God is teaching us. And this is also the purpose of the Church Of Christ, in producing episodes like this, so that all of us can be guided by the words of God.
Brother Richie: On behalf of all of us here at The Message, we would like to thank you for joining us today in the study of God’s words. Before we go, please join us for a short prayer.
Brother Bernard Daos: Our loving and merciful God in heaven. We are thankful once again for the guidance, the teachings, and instructions that You have given unto us, and that we were able to share with all of our beloved viewers.
Dear God, we now understand that the true love is the love that we have for You, because You are first and foremost in our lives. And that’s why we ask You, please continue to teach us Your laws and Your commandments. Because this is how we can have the true love for You, if we will put these commandments into practice in our lives.
We pray that You continue to bless all of our guests and viewers who joined us today. May Your words find a special place in all of our hearts, so that even if the world will get worse, the world will continue to degrade, our faith will get ever stronger.
Lord Jesus Christ, we humbly pray unto You. We ask You, Lord Jesus, please continue to mediate us to our Father. And please always teach us, Lord Jesus, about what should be first and foremost, and that we should love our God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our very soul.
Almighty God, as we return to in our prayer, thank You for the Administration of the Church Of Christ. Through their leadership, we are continuing to produce programs like this, so that more people will know not only of Your love, dear God, but also of the true Church Of Christ. Forgive us for our sins and mistakes, we pray.
We ask all this in the name of our Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Amen.
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