Dealing With Postpartum Depression

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After having a child and losing her dad, Irma Jackson experiences postpartum depression. She finds solace in her faith and knowing she’s not alone.

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Tired Moms Podcast: Postpartum Depression

Irma Jackson: I asked and I prayed that God gave me some clarification why I might be going through this and I just wanted to get better. And it’s always been my prayer to get better. But, you know, the mental illness, it’s a chronic disease. So some days you have good days, some days you have bad days. There’s always going to be a trigger within your life that can bring it back again.

If I didn’t have the Church or if I didn’t have God, I would have been lost a long time ago. I wouldn’t have been able to control this on my own.

Mariel Gutierrez: Hello, welcome to the Faith and Family podcast hosted by the tired but inspired moms. We are four Christian moms from the Church Of Christ, Iglesia Ni Cristo. I’m Mariel Gutierrez and joining me on this podcast are my very good friends.

Bernie: I’m Bernie Rosquites.

Emirick Haro: I am Emirick Haro.

Jewell: And I’m Jewell Buenavista.

Mariel Gutierrez: Today we’re going to talk about postpartum depression. It’s a thing. Many of us go through it, some milder than others, but it’s real. And it happens.

Bernie: How are we going to hold hands together virtually, like this social distance holding hands as we talk about this?

Everyone: Yeah.

Bernie: On this podcast, you will learn about the ways to cope with it, how to support someone who’s going through it, then we’ll also hear from a mom of two who fought her way through it with professional help, prayer and her faith.

Jewell: You know, sometimes this is called baby blues, and it’s normal. About one in five women experience this. I was always happy, I was always a positive person growing up. And with my first child, I remember having these crazy, crazy thoughts that it would make me cry. And then I finally read, you know, I would keep it to myself, because they were such horrible thoughts. I didn’t even share it with my husband, Harmony.

Jewell: But one day I was reading that book, um, “What to Expect in Your First Year” and it said in there, if you have thoughts, something along these lines, if you have thoughts of maybe throwing your baby out the window or something, it is completely normal. When I read that I was just like, Oh my gosh! I started crying because I was having these crazy thoughts like, … why would I have these kinds of thoughts? You know, and, um, I shared it with Harmony. I was crying to him. And I didn’t realize that maybe I did have postpartum depression and not realize it. But it definitely was. I was definitely not myself.

Emirick: I wasn’t sure if I had that either. Okay, I didn’t really realize if I was depressed, but I’m looking here at the symptoms now and maybe, let me see if I could check off these symptoms. It’s been a while but you know, it is a vivid memory of when I was a first mother. So, experiencing low mood, or being restless.

Everyone: Okay. Yes, yes. (laughs)

Emirick: Being sad or overwhelmed. Feeling guilty or worthless. Check maybe, yep. Easy fatigue, easily fatigued, or being irritable. Check.

Jewell: Irritable!

Emirick: Ok, crying easily and too often. Withdrawing to staying away from family and friends. Wow. Okay. Feeling hopeless. Feeling like you’re not sure how this is going to get better. Yeah, Um okay. Eating too much. Or refusing to eat. (laughs)

Mariel: Sorry, go on.

Emirick: One or the other. Yeah. So yeah, I think of both Yes. Sleeping too much, or having trouble sleeping. So taking a look at that list, I could probably check off more than half of those things. So maybe I was experiencing postpartum depression and just slugging it off as like, Oh, it’s okay. You know, I’m gonna be ok.

Mariel: Yeah, I think some of that sometimes, like, especially after birth, a lot of these things on this list, you shrug off as like, well, I just had a baby. Of course I’m tired. Of course I feel weird because I just had a baby. So I remember for myself, I didn’t think beyond that. I just thought like, yeah, I’m sad because maybe because I don’t feel like myself. Or you know, or I feel tired or just Yeah, I just I kind of just tacked it on to just having had a baby. That was it.

Bernie: I think. Yeah, I’m reading some of this and it sounds like a Monday.

Everyone: Like now, right? Yeah.

Mariel: Well, you know what, thankfully for us today, and I wish I had this when I just had a baby, but for us today, we got advice from a clinical psychologist, a fellow mom, friend, Dr. Sydney Fontanares. And she shares some of the ways that we can manage postpartum depression. I seriously wish I had this list, you know, when I was giving birth and stuff. Y’all ready?

Everyone: Yes

Mariel: So number one on her list is to develop support. It’s not uncommon, you know? Postpartum depression is not uncommon. So it helps to hear from other women that have gone through it or other moms, maybe they’re not talking about it. But if you open up, they’ll be like, Yeah, me too. You know, other moms can be your greatest source of strength. And I feel like I have that with you guys, you know?

Bernie: Yes!

Jewell: I definitely had my go-to people that really helped me.

Emirick: And I think that maybe that helped me not realize that I was experiencing postpartum depression.

Bernie: Yeah, that’s a way to look at it, yeah.

Emirick: Because I did have support.

Mariel: And you know, what’s interesting about that is that maybe like, when you’re together in that support group, you don’t have to label it, right? Everyone just understands, like, yeah, we know what this is. And so we know how to help you. And they just kind of band together with that goal. But that’s awesome that you guys had support. Alright, so number two, number two on her list, right? She says, to make simple lifestyle adjustments. You know, taking care of your baby includes taking care of yourself. Yes, yep. Dr. Sydney Fontanares was saying, you know, don’t pressure yourself to just do everything all at once. Do what you can and then leave the rest for another time. Which, again, you know, I know what you–

Jewell: Easier said than done.

Mariel: Exactly. Because there’s always a list, right? Yes, there’s a list. And then like, it’s not like, you can just take off anything from that list and be like, oh, we’ll feed them tomorrow or, or we’ll wash the onesies another time. You know, but you know, like the poop explosions, you’re going through, like 50 a day. So, yeah, it’s hard. But I think that it is worth exploring. Right? Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. And so her third, you know, advice for us was to seek professional help and discuss like the symptoms, no harm in that right. And then just know that the symptoms don’t last forever. They’re temporary, and they’re treatable. And you keep asking for help until you can find the care you need.

Bernie: Yea, that’s one hundred right there.

Emirick: That’s important, right? You have to-

Mariel: I wish– I wish I had, you know, someone tell me that when I was younger, but I do love the way that she says like, the symptoms don’t last forever, and that they’re treatable. But I think the question is what happens when the symptoms last longer than expected, right? So right now, we’re going to hear about the inspiring struggle of Irma Jackson. She’s a mama too, a nurse, who on top of the stress of being a medical professional, she’s dealt with the loss of her dad. And this is all while trying to manage her postpartum depression. Wow. So it sounds like a lot. But let’s, let’s have a listen and see how she got through it.

Bernie: Please stick around till the end of the podcast because Brother Jeff Deguia will tell us what the Bible has to say about grief and depression.

Irma Jackson: My name is Irma Jackson, and I am a nurse case manager. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety, probably about 2014. But I had the symptoms in 2013, I expected there to be baby blues, which is a normal thing for people after they have a child because our hormones readjust. When I had the symptoms, because I didn’t get any validation from my family that I disclosed it to, not feeling right, I tried just living with it from this uneasy feeling. And then slowly, my behavior started to change. And that’s where I reached out for help from a professional.

Irma Jackson: It was probably day after day, I would find out, I would feel overwhelmed. Sometimes depression has different faces. And the way it came out for me was anxiety. And I felt debilitated. Like I couldn’t drive in the car with my child in the backseat, because her cry would trigger me. And that would create this anxiety where I felt like I couldn’t move. And I had fast breathing. So I had physical signs and symptoms of something. Like I really couldn’t put my finger on it because I’ve never experienced it before. I went to a few of those group therapies, which helped to realize I wasn’t alone.

I asked and I prayed that God give me some clarification why I might be going through this. And I just wanted to get better. And it’s always been my prayer to get better. But, you know, the mental illness, it’s a chronic disease. So some days you have good days, some days you have bad days. There’s always going to be a trigger within your life that can bring it back again.

Irma Jackson: And, it happened when my father died from a cardiac arrest, in February 2017, and then my grandfather dying July 2017. And then giving birth to my child, my second child, unemployed. And so those triggers became too much for me to handle

Hope is so important when you’re going through depression, because no matter how many loving people there might be surrounding you, and supportive people surrounding you, you still feel hopeless. So that hope, it gives you the motivation to wake up the next day, and live your life every moment, even if it takes every moment to have the motivation to get through it. That hope is what keeps you going.

When I heard Ka Eduardo talk about depression, I felt like I could breathe, I actually felt like he knows. And the brethren will know that this is something that’s normal and should be accepted. Because for people like me, we need help. We need the support of our community. And so again, hearing that in the lesson about depression, about hopelessness, it did give a form of validation to say, hey, it is something real, it’s not just me, it’s not just in my head, I’m not crazy.

Irma Jackson: If I didn’t have the Church, or if I didn’t have God, I would have been lost a long time ago. I wouldn’t have been able to control this on my own. I’m reminded in the worship services that when we’re weak, God is the strongest, and that God will never give anything to us that we can’t handle. And so I have full faith in the fact that this is just going to make me stronger and ready for Judgment Day.

Mariel: Wow. Well, we’re so thankful that Irma shared that story with us. While it’s heartbreaking, I’m really happy that she’s getting better. And she’s found ways to cope. Yeah, especially like with, you know, the verses that we get in worship service. And I remember the lesson that she actually was referring to about Brother Eduardo V. Manalo referencing depression and how to cope with it. And I’m sure you all remember it as well, right?

Bernie: Yes, yes.

Mariel: Yeah.

Emirick: I do like how she referenced that hearing that in the worship service, like, validates her feelings, right? And that’s so strong, right, to know that, okay, someone knows what I’m going through and, you know, isn’t just tossing it aside saying, No, you’re not depressed, everything’s gonna be okay. But so they recognize it, and we hear it. And then, and it’s, you know, there’s hope for it, you know. So that was uplifting to hear her talk about that. And I do remember those services and, and feeling strengthened from them. When he would mention depression and read the verses that would help us through it.

Bernie: I remember that worship service! I cried–I had two handkerchiefs.

Mariel: A towel? Did you have a towel?

Bernie: And, like, you know what everybody’s saying? It’s like, thank goodness, we, we have that spiritual side where we can kind of like, “God, what do I do with this burden? I don’t know. Can you help me with this?”

Emirick: Yeah. And then it makes it, you know, like, it makes it feel like every burden you go through has a purpose. And you’re right. You know, like, in every worship service, you feel that because, I mean, yeah, and it’s been said many times, even before the pandemic, but then like, he really emphasized it, you know, in those services, about depression, where, where you do know that every everything you go through has a purpose.

Bernie: Well, so now, like what we said, This isn’t uncommon, so if you know someone from our listeners out there, if you know someone who’s going through it, Dr. Sydney also provided us with ways we can support our friends or family members. And this is, it’s a short list, but still, it helps a lot. Number one, listen to her. Don’t ignore her feelings, you know. Instead, listen and show her that you’re there for her. And by being there for her, by being there for your friend, your sister, your homegirl, all that and trying to understand what she’s going through or without judging or invalidating your feelings, right? That’s because your job, your job, isn’t to make those emotions disappear, right? It’s because sometimes we don’t know the words to say, and all that, you know, but it’s to make her feel heard.

Mariel: Right. You know what, that’s one of the things I really don’t like is when people try to solve things for me. My husband will attest to that. But it’s true though, right? Like, it goes a long way if you just someone, if you just feel like, okay, he heard me or she heard me or my friend heard me, and, and I’m safe, and I’m safe to have expressed that.

Bernie: You’re not expecting, you know, I’m not looking for advice. Sometimes you’re just not looking. Sometimes, can I just cry with you? Can you cry with me? You know. Number two, help with housework before they ask you, which I’ve done, which I’ve done. I’ve like gone to like my girlfriend’s house, you know, and I’m just like I just want to say hi to the baby. Then I kind of started looking around. Girl, there’s like a, there’s a basket full of baby clothes that need to. I got it. And while she’s talking to me, she’s like, No, you don’t need to do that. I’m like, No, no, no, no. Let’s just keep talking. I’ll fold. You talk, I fold. And without even asking I was just grabbing whatever. Just fold. Do I need to fold your husband’s underwear too? I don’t know, I’ll do it. Whatever you want me to do, girl.

Emirick: Take out the trash?

Bernie: You know, it’s just the little things. Those little things help. Like, you know what, I’ll wipe the counter for you. Without even asking what do you want me to do. Just do it.

Emirick: Bernie, my son is 20. But you know what, you can come over. I think I’m going through some stuff.

Everyone: laughs

Bernie: Number three, encourage them to take time for self care. Yes, sir- a necessity. Because fatigue is a big major contributing factor to some worsening symptoms.

Mariel: I feel like it’s a sensitive subject, when someone will tell you, you need self care. So I would tread lightly. But also, I think to just remember like, also, to make them feel safe that um… Girl, it’s only like 10 minutes, let’s go do our nails, you know. Or like, you know, let’s just go for a walk real quick, you know. Instead of someone just telling me like you need to take care of yourself. That would have been, you know what I mean? Those are two completely different things.

Bernie: Those are two different things.

Mariel: Right. So, please don’t. I think I’m just, I’m just speaking for myself at least. Like I would have not liked someone to just say, hey, you should brush your hair.

Bernie: Or did you take a shower?

Mariel: Yeah. When was the last time you took a shower?

Bernie: I’m like, you know what?

Emirick: I like that you differentiated that, right? Because number three, encourage them to take self care. That doesn’t mean tell them to take self care. That means like, you know, offer to babysit or go do self care with them. I like that you said that. That’s good for us to know. Yes. I may have gone to my sister-in-law and being like, Girl, you need to brush your hair. Wrong, wrong. Wrong. Okay, I got it, thank you.

Bernie: Next one is celebrate her successes. Yeah, [unintelligible] can’t tell you, Mom, thank you for feeding me. You did great. You know, but the person who recognizes her achievements, whether it’s big or small-

Jewell: Well, I wish that I had this. Maybe I had the list. But you know, when reality hits, it’s like, the list kind of goes out the window.

Mariel: It’s true. It’s true. Yeah.

Emirick: It’s like, if you were on fire, they say stop, drop and roll, right? Do you really think about that when you’re in a fire?

Mariel: No, your instinct is to scream. (laughter)

Jewell: But I mean, I seriously like now I feel like, man, I can be an awesome mom. Like if I started over again. Because you know, you’ve gone through it..(inaudible)

Jewell: To all you moms, I mean, to all the moms out there, you can overcome this, moms, seriously. And really, really above all pray and have faith in God. You know, God created us this way. So to Him this is nothing new. He really just wants us to go to Him more, you know? So,

Everyone: Right.

Mariel: And He has the answers, right?

Bernie: Yeah, Absolutely. So, you know, for all our listeners out there, just remember, my listeners, my friends, my girlfriends out there, you’re gonna be fine. You know, we’re tired. But we’re also inspired. Right? We’ve got each other and we’ve got our faith. Now, let’s hear some advice, coming from the Bible with minister of the gospel, Brother Jeff Deguia.

Brother Jeff: Without a doubt the mom’s struggle is definitely real! Parenthood is a challenge, and can even be susceptible to feeling pain. Pain to the extent like there’s no solution. But even God’s past servants experienced similar situations. Like what’s written in Jeremiah 8:18 the prophet Jeremiah said, “My grief is incurable; My heart is sick.” [New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures 2013]

So we must remember that grief and pain is a part of life, even as God’s chosen people. But are they really incurable? What should one do when possessing an illness?

James 5:14-15 it states “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” [New King James Version]

May we believe in God’s healing power through the instrumentality of His Church elders: the deacons and deaconesses and ministers. May we place our complete trust and faith by calling or asking the Church elders to pray and anoint us with oil.

What if the pain is too hard to bear? It’s so severe or depressing, should we lose hope? Would these terrible feelings last forever? Absolutely not! I’ll read the promise of our Lord Jesus Christ for the members of His Church, here in John 16, verses 20 and 22:

“I can guarantee this truth: You will cry because you are sad, but the world will be happy. You will feel pain, but your pain will turn to happiness. … Now you’re in a painful situation. But I will see you again. Then you will be happy, and no one will take that happiness away from you.” [Names Of God Bible]

Our Lord Christ guaranteed us, Yes (quote) “You will cry because you are sad… You will feel pain.” He also said, “But your pain will turn to happiness.” This is eternal happiness! When? He said, when He will see us again. In other words on His return. So, to receive this true happiness, we must learn to endure, just as He did, even moments where it seems impossible to resolve.

But others might wonder and ask, “How am I supposed to survive during the now?” Others may say, “I don’t know how much longer I can take it!” What does God invite His listeners to this podcast to do whenever we’re deeply saddened, feeling lost and don’t know what to do? Maybe even have thoughts such as anger or depression? Let’s read 1 Peter 5:7 and 10:

“Tell God about all the things that make you sad or afraid or angry. Give your thoughts about those things to him and let them remain with him. Do this, because you matter to him… You will have trouble and pain for a short time. But after that, God, who is so completely kind, will make everything right. God has caused you to be united to Christ, so that you will live with him always. You will live with him in the beautiful place where he lives. And God will make you completely as you should be. He will make you strong, so that nothing can ever stop you believing him.” [EasyEnglish Bible]

What is God’s promise to us, members of the Church, those that have been united to our Lord Jesus Christ? Never forget that we matter to God. The Lord God loves us so much! So, when we are sad or in pain or afraid, remember He’s inviting us now to tell Him about all those things. If a friend or a family member who loves us with all their heart is willing to be there for us when we’re feeling low, well even more so our Lord God! That’s why it’s a command we’re constantly taught to never stop praying! What’s God’s guarantee that we can expect? I quote,… “God, who is so completely kind, will make everything right… And God will make you completely as you should be. He will make you strong, so that nothing can ever stop you believing him.”

So, any of us feeling down will never neglect attending the worship service! Because that’s where God promised to pour His immense power which is the strength we need! And when we’re attending the worship services, pray! And keep praying! And tell Him all that we’re going through, because He promises to hear and answer our prayers we render especially during our worship services.

Additionally, we mustn’t discount the medical resources that’re available to us. We know that God also utilizes medicinal or prescription drugs and professionals and experts in the medical field.

Well, we hope all of you benefited from this podcast. Praise and glory be to the Almighty God! Thank you so much for listening. I’m Brother Jeff Deguia.

How We Explain Christmas to Our Kids

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Listen to Christian moms explain the truth about Halloween and Christmas to their curious children and why it’s not something we should celebrate.

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BERNIE ROSQUITES, HOST: You’re listening to Faith and Family, a Christian Family community that aims to provide Christian family values. I’m Bernie Rosquites. As members of the Church Of Christ, we uphold beliefs [that] guide both our public and our personal lives. But how do we teach that to our kids, when it means taking away seemingly fun and widely accepted holidays, and perhaps, alienating them from their peers? What do we say to our kids when it comes to explaining why members of the Church Of Christ don’t celebrate events like Halloween or Christmas? And what do we tell the grown-ups around them? With me today to talk about all of this is Emirick Haro, Jewell Buenavista, and Mariel Gutierrez. Welcome back, ladies.

EVERYONE: Hello !

BERNIE: Hello?

EVERYONE: Hi!

BERNIE: Okay, I was like, what happened? [Laughing] So holidays are just around the corner. Literally, one of them is literally just around the corner. Now for you, ladies: Are there holidays… Is there a particular holiday that your kids ask the most questions about?

EMIRICK: I got to them before anybody else could. I would tell them…

BERNIE: You’ve got to, yeah.

EMIRICK: Yeah! What the holiday was, what it was called, and I would always tell them it’s a celebration of a fake god. And God will be mad at us if we do that, so we don’t do that.

  JEWELL: There was a time that… It was during Halloween that Jasmine [her daughter], I think she was like only three or four, we had to go somewhere during October 31st, so we had brought her to my in-laws, and she [came] home, she’s like, “Oh my gosh! Halloween was so much fun!”

EVERYONE: Oh nooo! [Laughing]

JEWELL: And then we were like, “Why what happened? What did you do? We don’t celebrate Halloween!” And she’s all, “I know, I know, I know, but we had so much fun giving out candy…” and, you know. And so, and… for me and Harmony [her husband], we… it was more like okay, it’s… we explained to her, and then, of course, we had to remind our in-laws that we don’t celebrate Halloween.

BERNIE: Mhmm…

JEWELL: But now, it was just kind of that one time, but then, now it’s honestly not…

BERNIE: … not a big deal?

JEWELL: It’s not. Yeah.

  BERNIE: Yeah. How about you, Mar?

  MARIEL: Umm… okay. Now I feel bad!

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

BERNIE: I was going to say you dressed your son up like Woody, didn’t you?!

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

MARIEL: When the costumes go on sale! And it’s not Halloween!

BERNIE: You know I have to say, I’ve done that. When a costume goes on sale, I…

MARIEL: I know! Your son loves to dress up, right? I see those posts. Yeah, that’s not Halloween, right?

BERNIE: Mhmm, no. He knows it.

MARIEL: Yeah! I got my daughter… I think she had caught [on], when she was really small, she had watched, I think, Polar Express. Are you guys familiar with that movie?

BERNIE: Yes!

MARIEL: Yeah! So, she saw it on TV, and… but she was really young, we’re talking like two or three, and I was like, aww man! You know? Because she was so like… it was so magical for her! You know what I mean? And I unfortunately didn’t get to her, before it got to her, and so I had to explain to her, well, you know, I had to be kind of the bad guy. I was the parent that was like, well, I don’t know, Santa doesn’t really exist, you know? And like, this is what Christmas is, but we don’t do that as members of the Church Of Christ. And it was hard for her, you know? Now she…

BERNIE: … did she ask questions?

MARIEL: She did! And for a while, she would say, like, because she was only three? You know?

BERNIE: Yeah, mhm.

MARIEL: I would say, “Do you understand?” And she’ll be all like, “Yeah.” But then she’ll be all like, “Buuut…” [Laughing] You know? She’d be like, “Yes, but… can I still get presents? But I’m not celebrating.” You know?

BERNIE: Yeah

MARIEL: Yeah. Or like, “But, can I…” She’ll ask like it was like a jumble of questions: Can I still have hot chocolate? Yes you may have hot chocolate. Can we still go to places with snow? Yes we can still go to places with snow.

BERNIE: That’s too cute.

MARIEL: You know what I mean?

BERNIE: That is adorable.

MARIEL: And then she was like, are you sure that Santa doesn’t exist?

[Laughing]

BERNIE: Because last I checked, he was giving out gifts right now!

MARIEL: I know, because I just saw him at the mall. You know?

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

MARIEL: It was a little hard. I wish I had gotten to it before it did. You know, like I thought that because she was two or three, it was too soon anyway, because they weren’t at school, blah blah blah. But I was wrong! You know what I mean? It’s true, like they are… these Holidays are being marketed so early, right?

BERNIE: Yeah.

MARIEL: You know? Even like… It’s in their programming, their television programming. It’s in commercials, it’s everywhere!

BERNIE: Girl, if you go to Starbucks, everything is pumpkin flavored, pretty soon it’s going to be mint flavored.

MARIEL: I know!

BERNIE: Everything is based on those things, so it’s unavoidable. Now are there special things that you do to avoid the inevitable exclusions from their peers? Because I know a few parents who when, for example, when it’s Halloween, they have their, their school has their Halloween parade. Some of these parents – I’m not saying it’s wrong or right – but some of these parents, they just don’t bring them. They exclude them from school, just so they don’t have to see any of it. Or there are some who take them out to the movies while the other kids are trick-or-treating, or give New Years presents instead of Christmas presents. I mean, do you do any of that?

EMIRICK: I used to! I used to when I was a stay at home mom. I was a stay at home mom for a while. During Halloween, I would volunteer at the school to take care of those kids who don’t celebrate.

BERNIE: Oh!

MARIEL: Aww… that’s awesome!

EMIRICK: Because you know…

JEWELL: I think it’s a great idea! I think I wanna do that!

BERNIE: That’s an amazing idea. That’s a great idea.

EMIRICK: Because we’re not the only ones who don’t celebrate.

BERNIE: That’s true.

EMIRICK: Now, if we were, then I would probably be like, okay kids, we’re not going to school, or something else to say. But I would volunteer. I would talk to the principal and say, do you have other kids who don’t celebrate Halloween? And so, it would be offered to the teachers. If there were any kids who, you know, it’s against their beliefs to go out and do the parade or whatever. Mrs. Haro will take all those kids to the library, and we would make paper airplanes; we would do a little science lesson, and have a lot of fun! And so, I would do that every year with my kids.

MARIEL: Oh! You made a community for those kids! I love it

JEWELL: I love that idea!

BERNIE: I love that. I mean that is…

JEWELL: Yeah! I mean, when Hayden [her son] was in TK. So TK, what is that?

MARIEL: Transitional?

JEWELL: Yeah, Transitional Kindergarten. He was five-years-old so during the Christmas time, the teacher took us aside, and said oh can I speak to you real quick, and then she was like, “I know you guys don’t celebrate Christmas, but Hayden has to stop telling everybody that Santa is not real.”

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

BERNIE: See! I’m afraid that’s what my son is going to do!

[Laughing]

EMIRICK: I’m about to have a special conversation with my kids about that, yeah.

JEWELL: And so, of course, we had to [tell him], “Hayden, you can’t… you still have to respect…”

EVERYONE: Right, yes.

JEWELL: So… but in a way, I’d rather him be confident that way, and tame him down, versus like, he’s embarrassed to be the outcast. You know what I’m saying? And I think that’s what parents need to remember. When I was a Children’s Worship Service teacher, I would purposely ask the kids during service, because I feel like kids need to embrace being different you know?

BERNIE: Correct.

JEWELL: And I don’t think we should dance around the topic? You know what I mean? So we could sugar coat their feelings? No, I feel like we need to… I feel like we need to teach them how to be confident.

EMIRICK: I feel like believing in those, you know, things like, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, I feel like those kinds of things kill faith, because kids grow up thinking that stuff is real. Yeah, and then they grow up thinking those things are real, God is real. They lump them all together.

BERNIE: Oh gosh no, right

EMIRICK: And when they grow up they realize… wait, Santa Claus isn’t real? And the Tooth Fairy isn’t real? Oh, then God must not be real either. So, you know, I made it very clear. I feel like those things kind of are killing that faith in God, and they think that it preserves wonder in a child, and I’m like, there are so many things that you can wonder. I mean, all of God’s creations, and all the things God does? That’s wonderful! [Those are the] things you should have your wonder in! So, when you put your wonder in these fake things, and they think, oh, you’re not preserving wonder in a child, you’re killing a child’s imagination and creativity, I think, absolutely, that is the wrong thing. You’re not killing their imagination, creativity… you’re killing their faith. You know? And you can believe in God, and not believe in those fake fairy things, and preserve wonder, and teach creativity and imagination. I just like… So, from a very early age; from the minute my kids could look around, and see things and understand what I’m saying to them, I told them this is Christmas. It’s in honor of a fake god. Do we honor fake gods or do we honor the real God? And they’ll say, oh the real God! And then I go, so we don’t do that. As they got older… and so you know little kids are very bold. Like you said, Hayden would tell everybody! So, Russell [her son] was given a gift from his teacher for Christmas one time in first grade. She wrapped up books, gave a wrapped up book to all the kids in our class. And when I came to pick up Russell one day after school, and… he hadn’t come out! And I was looking for him! And so I went to his classroom, and he was very angry at his teacher. And I’m like, what’s going on? And the teachers all like, Russell is upset because I gave him a Christmas gift. And Russell is all like, I told her! I told her so many times!

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

EMIRICK: I don’t celebrate Christmas! And then, so I was like, oh man! So I had to like, pull him aside! And I told my other kids, too, like you have to understand this is a truth that we know, but it’s not a truth that everybody knows yet. And so, we do have to share it, but we have to be sensitive with…

EVERYONE: yeah, right, right

EMIRICK: … how they’re going to take it, because maybe they’ve lived their whole life believing this, so we have to be gentle? And so I had to explain to Russell! I’m like, so you know, I’m like… We took the book, and apologized to the teacher, and I’m like, Russell, you can’t be angry at her! She was just trying to be nice to you! And he’s like, but I told her! I don’t celebrate Christmas!

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

BERNIE: Well, you know, we do get a lot of that side eye from other parents for this. Other parents, other adults, and we become that super weird, and lame… you know, parent real quick when we’re missing from the Halloween parades, and Holiday parties, you know? How do we explain our beliefs to teachers, and surrounding adults that may think its quote, unquote: not a big deal to include our kids in things that are against our beliefs?

JEWELL: I think for me, I don’t know? For me, none of this is a big deal, to be honest. I just straight up tell the teachers, we don’t celebrate it, and that’s it! And then I think we live in a world now that…

BERNIE: … a little bit more accepting?

JEWELL: Yeah, that there [are] a lot of different beliefs, and so teachers are a lot more accommodating.

EMIRICK: And I tell my kids, we are not going to make any excuses not to do something, because we still want to learn, and we still want to let our teachers know that we are here for the learning. Even though it goes against our beliefs, we’re going to make accommodations, so that we’re not offending God, but we are still learning. So, they were making leprechaun traps in kindergarten, and they had to make a family project with your family, you were going to make a leprechaun trap, and they had to bring it to school, then they were going to trick the kids that they had a leprechaun, or something like that, right? And David [her son] was in kindergarten, and he told his teacher, you know I don’t really believe in leprechauns, and it goes against… in my Church, I’m not allowed to celebrate Saint Patrick’s day, so is it okay if I just make a mousetrap? So he made an accommodation! He’s like, I’m not saying I don’t want to do this, I know this is a family project, but I’m not going to make a leprechaun trap, I’m going to make a mousetrap instead. And she was like okay, sounds good! So we made a mousetrap! And then he told me in kindergarten, he’s like, “I wanted to tell everybody that you didn’t really catch a leprechaun, it was just the teachers tricking you!”

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

BERNIE: I love this kid!

EMIRICK: So if there’s like a Christmas worksheet, or anything like that, my kids have done in the past, and said, you know, is it okay if I do this work sheet instead?

My mom found this worksheet online, and it’s like the same content, but it’s just something different. And then, they’re like okay! You know, they’re still able to participate with the learning.

BERNIE: Sure! There’s a solution!

JEWELL: Can I ask Emirick a question on that real quick? So… and maybe I don’t know if I’m doing this right or wrong, you know, because same thing with me. I believe, you know, I let my kids participate, you know, in activities. Just the same thing [as] yours, you know, during Halloween time, it’s arts and crafts, you know what I mean? They still have to do the arts and crafts. So, that’s what I mean. I don’t completely take them out, they still do the activities like in arts and crafts. Even in the holidays they have a holiday program where they sing songs, you know, for the holiday program. I mean, I actually allow my kids to participate.

EMIRICK: We take the seasonal approach. So, I’ll ask the teacher, because there have been programs, and they’ll say, is it okay if your child participates in the program? And I’m like what’s the song? And then she’ll tell me what the song is, and I’m like oh okay that’s just winter. Like, I believe that jingle bells is just a winter song, and they’re just going through the snow or whatever like that, and I’m like oh that’s okay. But when they start singing about Santa Claus, and all that stuff then I say, “Nah, we can’t really participate in that.” So yeah, and when they do their crafts, like, for example, when they did 12 days of Christmas craft? So, they were counting down to Christmas, and David said, can I count down to New Years? And they’re all like, ok. So then he made those rings where he was counting down to the New Year. So, we’re always accommodated, and they were very clear. So, the teachers knew that we don’t do this, but we’re still here. We’re not trying to excuse ourselves out of these activities, we’re still here for the learning.

BERNIE: Those are great examples!

MARIEL: You know what’s funny? Is that, I know my son had an encounter with his friend, where he was doing that thing! Being really loud, and say like, “we don’t celebrate that! Why do you?” You know, and like, of course, I’m over here trying to calm him down, you know. And then, like so, his friend turns to him, and says, “Do you celebrate birthdays?” And my son turns to me, [Whispering] “Do we celebrate birthdays?”

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

MARIEL: I was like, “Yes, we celebrate birthdays, and New Years.” It’s funny because they’re like, he’s still defining where the line is, as well.

EMIRICK: I take the academic approach to it, you know? With my kids, we’ve gone and went back to the history of all these holidays, and we’ve Googled where did this come from? Or where did this come from? And… we’ll read! And like, we’ve read where does thanksgiving come from? And then I’ll ask them, is that okay? Does that offend God? And they’re like I don’t think so. And I’m like yeah I think it’s okay to do that. And then, we’ll… you know, we’ll Google where does Christmas come from? Actually, we’ll use the shows on INC Media. We use a lot of That’s In the Bible.

BERNIE: Nice!

JEWELL: I like that.

EMIRICK: You know, they have a lot of good shows explaining the history of a holiday. And then, I’ll say, “does that offend God?” And then they’re like, “Yeah, because, you know, it dates back to a pagan God, a pagan ritual.” I’m like, so then, we don’t do that. So, … they are very clear as to which holidays, and why. You know? So that they can defend themselves, too, when they go there. It’s not just something my mom said. It’s not just something said at Church.

MARIEL: right

EMIRICK: You know? It’s actually being… I have a reason for it. And we will rehearse, you know, because I know that there are going to be people out there, although there are many people that are kind and tolerant nowadays, you know? I grew up where people were rude about it, when I was a kid. And so in case you encounter this, which you might, let’s practice what you might say, so that you’re not offending somebody, but you’re actually hopefully, enlightening them. We would approach it with a question, you know? So, we would rehearse that with my kid. If someone said, why don’t you celebrate Christmas? Then I would tell my kids to say, well why do you? You know? Because the burden of proof is not on us, because we don’t celebrate it. They’re the ones who celebrate it, so they should be the ones to justify why they celebrate it.

MARIEL: You’re so smart!

BERNIE: I’m taking notes right now.

JEWELL: Me too! I really like that approach. Really, instead of the kids just… especially when you… when your kids are a little older? Where they can really understand. I like the academic approach to their… where they are trained to always go back to the truth.

EMIRICK: So, the burden of proof is not on us, it’s on them. Because they’re the ones who celebrate it!

MARIEL: I love it.

BERNIE: I feel like after this, Emirick should just drop the mic.

EVERYONE: [Laughing]

BERNIE: Though we’ve talked about what to tell our kids, and their teachers, in regards to why we don’t celebrate certain holidays, and yes, the exclusion of our kids from any activities that are related to the events. This discussion is really about teaching our kids spiritual integrity.

EMIRICK: Yeah.

BERNIE: It’s their first real battle, with real Christian hardships, like persecution, like choosing God over what’s popular, and sacrifice. We’re not only paving the way, we’re leaving bread crumbs, so that when our kids grow up, out there in the real world, as adults facing questions like: Why don’t you join us for happy hour? Why can’t you date him? because he’s a cutie patootie?! Then they’ll look back at these moments, and remember what we’ve taught them. About that spiritual integrity. So, I’d like to thank the listeners for joining us this evening, and also, thank you to our panelists: Jewell, Emirick and Mar. Thank you, ladies!

EVERYONE: Thank you!

MARIEL: Thank you! So informative!

BERNIE: I’m going to be looking over these notes later, trust me! I mean, everybody has come up with some really great information. So, I’m Bernie Rosquites. You’ve been listening to Tired Moms! A podcast brought to you by Faith and Family. We’ll talk to you all again, next time!

The Difference Between INC and Catholic Church

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How can you tell the difference between Church Of Christ and Roman Catholic beliefs and practices? Does the Church Of Christ practice pagan rituals?

“Show/Hide

[Show open]

Brother Phillip: Hello, I’m Brother Phillip Velasquez and thank you for joining us again on another episode of That’s in the Bible, where your questions are answered straight from the Bible. Today we have a number of questions asked by Geoffrey Laganga from good ol’ London and this is what he asks…

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Question: What makes the Church Of Christ different from the Catholic Church?

Geoffrey

London, England

What makes the Church Of Christ different from the Catholic Church?

Brother Phillip: What makes the Church Of Christ different from the Catholic Church? Well, there are many differences. The most obvious, though, is the name: “Church of Christ” and the “Roman Catholic Church.”

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Church Of Christ, Iglesia Ni Cristo, Kirche Christi, whatever language

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That’s in the Bible

Brother Phillip: The Church Of Christ, or Iglesia Ni Cristo, Kirche Christi, whatever language you say it in is the Church that is in the Bible. While the name “Roman Catholic Church,” isn’t. We can read here “the Church Of Christ” here in Acts 20 and 28:

Take heed therefore to yourselves and to all the flock over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you overseers, to feed the church of Christ which he has purchased with his blood.

[Acts 20:28 Lamsa Translation]

Brother Phillip: We can also read it here in Ephesians 4 and 12. This is what Apostle Paul teaches:

The common object of their labor was to bring the Christians maturity, to prepare them for Christian service, and the building up of the Church of Christ.

[Ephesians 4:12 Norlie’s Translation]

Is there a difference in doctrine between the Church Of Christ and Catholic Church?

Brother Phillip: But Geoffrey, the differences extend beyond the name, differences can be found in the doctrines taught and upheld. Why?

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The basis of doctrines are different

Brother Phillip: Because the basis of doctrines are different for the two religions. According to a Catholic writer recognized by the Vatican, what is the basis of the Catholic Church in regard to the doctrines and teachings they uphold? Let’s read a book entitled [The] Spirit of Catholicism and this is written by Karl Adam:

“Without Scripture,” says Mohler, “the true form of the sayings of Jesus would have been withheld from us. Yet the Catholic does not derive his faith in Jesus from the Scriptures.”

[The Spirit of Catholicism by Karl Adam, pg.50]

Brother Phillip: Dear friends, the Catholic Church, by their own admission, did not get their faith from our Lord Jesus Christ and from His gospel. Hence, we shouldn’t be surprised to find out that many of the Catholic teachings or practices are not based on Scripture or on the Bible. So what do they base their doctrine on, then?

Let’s read what John Walsh, another Catholic writer recognized by the Vatican says in his book entitled, This is Catholicism. Here [on] page 181, 182, to 183. This is what it says:

Does the Catholic Church derive all her doctrines solely from the Bible? No. While most of the Church’s teachings are contained in the Bible, some others are not…From what source does the Church obtain these other teachings? They are derived from the past pronouncements of the Church herself…This includes not only the works of the Fathers and Doctors of the Church, the letters and decisions of her popes, the minutes of her councils, the treatises of her principal theologians, and biblical commentators, of her saints and mystics, but also the writings of hundreds of obscure bishops and forgotten priests.

[This is Catholicism by John Walsh, pg.181,182,183]

Brother Phillip: And we can read here in the footnote:

These evidences of the Church’s past teaching are collectively termed tradition.

[This is Catholicism by John Walsh, pg.181,182,183]

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What does the Catholic Church base many of her doctrines upon? Tradition. Minutes of Councils. Doctors of the Church. Hundreds of obscure bishops. Forgotten priests.

Brother Phillip: On what does the Catholic Church base many of her doctrines upon? Tradition, according to what we just read. Teachings derived from minutes of councils, doctors of the church and even, according to their own admission, writings, and hundreds of obscure bishops, and forgotten priests. What else does the Catholic Church base their doctrines and teachings on? Here in The Spirit of Catholicism by Karl Adam, here [on] page 166, is what we can read:

She does not hesitate even to take over pagan ritual and pagan symbols, whenever such things can be Christianized and reformed.

[The Spirit of Catholicism by Karl Adam, pg.166]

Brother Phillip: Throughout history, the Catholic Church’s doctrines have evolved or changed, as they incorporate tradition in their teachings and even rituals taken from pagan religions in their efforts to convert these people into Catholicism. What’s an example of a popular Catholic teaching or practice that’s based on tradition? Let’s read an official Catholic book, The Catholic Encyclopedia, Volume 13, here in pages 184 to 185:

In the Western Church, ‘The Rosary,’ says the Roman Breviary, ‘is a certain form of prayer wherein we say fifteen decades or tens of Hail Mary, with an Our Father between each ten…when the Albigensian heresy was devastating the country of Toulouse, St. Dominic earnestly besought the help of Our Lady and was instructed by her, ‘so tradition asserts,’ to preach the Rosary among the people as an antidote to heresy and sin.

[The Catholic Encyclopedia Vol. 13, pgs.184-185]

Brother Phillip: As we’ve read, the practice of praying the rosary in the Catholic Church is based only on tradition, and is written nowhere in the Bible. What’s another example of a Catholic teaching or practice that was taken from other pagan religions and adopted as her own? The use of candles in praying for the deceased. From where did it originate? Let’s read the same book [The] Catholic Encyclopedia, Volume 3, this time, [on] page 246. This is what we’re told:

…we need not shrink from admitting that candles like incense and lustral water, were commonly employed in pagan worship and in the rites paid to the dead but the Church from a very early period took them into her service, just as she adopted many other things indifferent in themselves, which seemed proper to enhance the splendor of religious ceremonial.

[The Catholic Encyclopedia Vol. 3, pg.246]

Brother Phillip: So we can see dear friends, even the teaching of using candles to pray for the deceased originated from pagan worship, which the Catholic Church incorporated into her own services. There are many other instances where Catholic doctrine is based upon ancient pagan practices.

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How about the Church Of Christ?

Brother Phillip: How about the Church Of Christ? What is its basis for its doctrines upheld? Well, it’s just this: the Bible.

[On-screen text graphic]

The Bible. The sole basis of faith of the Church Of Christ.

The Holy Scripture is the sole basis of the faith of the Church Of Christ. “Why,” you ask? Let’s read here in Deuteronomy 12:32. This is God’s strict instruction, 12:32:

Whatever I command you, be careful to observe it; you shall not add to it not take away from it.

[Deuteronomy 12:32 New King James Version]

Brother Phillip: So, it’s God’s strict instruction that we must not alter or modify by adding to or subtracting from any of His commandments for any reason. What’s the characteristic of God’s Word written in the Holy Scriptures, that is why it should be the sole basis of our faith? We can read here in John 17:17:

Sanctify them by Your truth Your word is truth.

[John 17:17 New King James Version]

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Our teachings based solely upon the words of God written in the Bible which is truth.

Brother Phillip: Our teachings are based solely upon the words of God written in the Bible, which is, which is Truth. And we do our best to share this truth with others, because our Lord Jesus Christ instructed this. And that’s written in Mark 16:15 and 16. Here are the specific commands of our Lord Jesus Christ:

And he said to them, “Go throughout the whole world and preach the gospel to the whole human race. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; whoever does not believe will be condemned

[Mark 16:15-16 Today’s English Version]

Brother Phillip: As a matter of fact, the Church of Christ goes to great lengths to share this knowledge of truth to our fellow men.

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Ministers sent to preach the truth

Brother Phillip: Ministers are sent throughout the world preaching these truths. We’re very active in works of propagation.

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Iglesia Ni Cristo Evangelical Missions

Brother Phillip: We set up Iglesia Ni Cristo Evangelical Missions in every corner of the globe, where thousands are invited to hear the truth.

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Chapels throughout the world

Brother Phillip: Our chapels throughout the world are open for anyone seeking the truth.

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Incmedia.org

Where truth meets you

Brother Phillip: Even the show you’re watching right now, along with other programs on this website—which are also broadcast on TV stations in a growing number of countries—all of this is for the noble intention in spreading the true knowledge of God for man’s salvation. This is a massive undertaking, no doubt. And you can imagine the massive resources used for this holy work.

Although the members do give voluntary contributions in the worship services,

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The giving of offerings in the Church Of Christ has Biblical basis

Brother Phillip: . . . the giving of offerings that we observe in the Church of Christ has a Biblical basis, as written in 2 Corinthians 9:7:

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II Corinthians 9:7

New International Version

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Brother Phillip: …and they are being used for holy endeavors, such as to help in the propagation, or spreading the true teachings of God, and for the administering of our services to Him. And this is what we can read in the Bible, in 2 Corinthians 9:12 to 13:

For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God, while, through the proof of this ministry, they glorify God for the obedience of your confessions to the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal sharing with them and all men,

[2 Corinthians 9:12-13 New King James Version]

Brother Phillip: We do hope, Geoffrey, that your questions were answered today. That all came from the Holy Scriptures, the Bible. Well, that’s all we have time for for this episode. We thank you for joining us. We’ll be back soon. But in the meantime, why not share this episode with someone you know.

We also encourage you to email us with your questions. Remember one of the instructions of our Lord Jesus Christ, written in Matthew 7:7:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you

[Matthew 7:7 New International Version]

Now that’s in the Bible. Thanks for watching. I’m Brother Phillip Velasquez and we’ll see you next time.

3 Lessons from a Breast Cancer Survivor

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As a breast cancer survivor, early detection, support, and her faith saved Luida Florendo. Listen to her journey and learn one of her biggest life lessons.

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Tired Moms Podcast: Breast Cancer Survivor

Luida: …He said you have the aggressive cancer cell so you have her2 positive breast cancer. Reality hit. So I broke down and cried. I said in my prayer that if it was my time to go, that I would accept it.

Bernie Rosquites: Hello, welcome to the Faith and Family podcast hosted by the tired but inspired moms. We are Christians from the Church of Christ, Iglesia Ni Cristo. I’m Bernie Rosquites, and joining me on this podcast is my good friend, Miss Emirick Haro.

Emirick Haro: Hey, Bernie, hello, hello, everybody. It’s October, which means it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We celebrate those who are battling it– the friends and family members who are in the trenches with them, and those who have survived it.

Bernie: Yes. And we were also helping to spread awareness with our guest today, Luida Florendo. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in 2014. The treatment was so tough on her, she cried herself to sleep, but with the support of her husband, friends, and God, she has managed through it. So she’s experienced a lot, and we are going to learn a very important lesson from her. She is with us right now. Hi, Luida. Thank you for joining us today.

Luida: Hi, Bernie. Hi, Emirick. Hello. Glad to be here in this podcast show.

Emirick: Thank you for joining us. Yes. Tell us how you found out that something was wrong.

Luida: Let’s see started back in April 2014. I had my first mammogram at the age of 42. I was turning 43 in a couple months. When the results came back from the mammogram, the doctor said that I had some calcifications or white spots in my mammogram. So they said we need to check if you have any cancer cells. So they said let’s do a biopsy. So I did a biopsy and he said it came up negative. But he said just to make sure let’s do a lumpectomy, which is a surgery to get some breast tissue sample.

Bernie: Okay.

Luida: And after that first lumpectomy, they found a speck of cancer cells and was like in the milligram. It was super tiny, but they caught it early. So I was thankful for that. And then they said you know what, let’s do a second lumpectomy just to make sure that it hasn’t gone to the lymph nodes. So the results came back and it was negative. So that was good. But we said the next step is we need to take it to the tumor board to see if you have the aggressive cancer cell. So when it came back he said you have the aggressive cancer cell so you have her2 positive breast cancer. So that was in August 2014 and he said you need to do chemotherapy next week

Bernie: so when you got the mammogram it came out negative right. And then they said let’s just double check. Is that– they didn’t –Is that how it went?

Luida: Actually when they looked at the results of the mammogram they saw white spots

Bernie: okay to the tiny okay,

Luida: Right and then because I never had any mammogram before that

Bernie: This was your first one?

Luida: very first one so they had nothing to compare it to. So they said we need to check it out.

Emirick: Wow. So it’s really important to have a mammogram, right?

Bernie: Yes, yes,

Luida: Early detection is key. Yes, man.

Emirick: And and when do they recommend starting it? At what age?

Luida: I was at the time I turned 43

Emirick: Okay, so um, your very first mammogram and then that was in April and in four months, you had to start going through chemotherapy? Um, tell us what was going through your mind from the moment that you found out something was wrong, right, because it’s just a routine procedure. Everyone said, get a mammogram and you know, and and you get one thinking it’s just going to be routine, and you find out something is wrong, and in four short months you’re going through chemotherapy, so like, how did you process that in your brain?

Luida: Let’s see, for the first reaction, I was, um…reality hit. So I broke down and cried. And then at the time, I was the only one working, my husband was laid off at the time. So I was thinking how we’re going to pay the bills. How are we going to survive? Right?

Bernie: Wow.

Luida: So that’s the initial reaction.

Emirick: Could you feel that something was wrong? Like were you tired? were you feeling sick sometimes or did it just feel like normal like every day

Luida: it’s funny you mentioned that because I had no symptoms whatsoever. So no tiredness, no sore, nothing sore in my my breasts, but it was just because mammogram, they found that there was something there was something unusual about my mammogram. And that’s when everything happened.

Emirick: So yes, because I know I mean, myself, I, I get scared of mammograms. I had one actually, finally, I’m 46 now and I had my first one, like, last year. So for those of you listening, you know, I hope this inspires you to get mammogram and get early so that you can, you know, learn about what’s going on, because like you said, You didn’t feel anything different, right?

Luida: None.

Emirick: So just routine. Can I ask when you found out? What were your prayers? Like? How did you? How did you like turn to God and, and, and ask for his help?

Luida: Let’s see, I knew that my life was in God’s hands.

Bernie: Yes.

Luida: So I said in my prayer that if it was my time to go, that I would accept it. But then I said, if it was possible, I wanted to fight this breast cancer, I want it to live longer.

Emirick: So it’s almost like that surrender, right? So

Bernie: Surrendering is, is… when you leave it, it’s easy to say like, you know, I’m just gonna leave it in God’s hands, but there are times in the middle of the night. Your mind starts talking to you. But I feel like your conviction to just, “ I’m gonna let God take the wheel.”

Luida: Yeah, right.

Bernie: And, and, and you’re still with us today. And through all this, as scary, as I can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions you were going through, who was supporting you through it all.

Luida: I guess my number one supporter would definitely be my husband, Cesar Lorenzo. He took me to all my doctor appointments to all my chemo, and radiation treatments. He was practically my nurse at home. So he made sure that our was well taken cared of and comfortable. But my other supporters would definitely be family. My family’s in Hawaii, the Langit family there were miles away, but very supportive. Then I had my in laws, the Florenda family who were here in San Diego, then I also had my co workers from the county of San Diego that was super supportive. And another big supporter were my INC family from the locale of South San Diego.

Emirick: you had a lot of support.

Bernie: you had a lot of support and that I that’s.. and that really means a lot. How has your relationship with God changed through this experience?

Luida: Let’s See, definitely when I was going through the chemo treatments and all that, it definitely made my relationship with God stronger. Because um, despite the chemo treatments, God was so good that he gave me the strength to still go to work. He still allowed me to perform in the choir. So that I am super thankful to God that despite the treatments,

Bernie: You were still doing your thing.

Luida: I was still you’re still business as usual. Yeah.

Emirick: Through chemotherapy and everything?

Luida: Right? It’s like, and then I guess I went to work and went to church. Usually I had a black scarf on because I lost my hair. But that didn’t bother me. It’s like, I don’t care.

Emirick: I just really admire your positivity.

Bernie: Yes.

Emirick: I actually don’t know, like, what is chemotherapy like? If you don’t mind, kind of painting that picture for me and and our guests.

Luida: Let’s say we chemotherapy. I’d be fine. Like I would do it on Friday. But then I would be super hyper and talkative, per my husband. Saturday, Monday. And then on Monday, and Tuesday will be my down day. It’s like I can’t go to work. I can’t do anything. So and then I guess the hardest part about the chemotherapy was like when you eat food. It tastes like metal like you’re eating pennies.

Bernie: Yeah.

Emirick: Oh, yeah.

Luida: So it was hard to find something that your mouth and your taste buds could accept. So that was the hardest thing and then that’s the one where one day I was like super hungry, but I couldn’t eat anything and that’s when I cried myself to sleep.

Emirick: Aww

Bernie: I can only I yeah. You’re just like that piece of chicken that looks delicious. It tastes like a bag of pennies.

Emirick: No, you take away my sense of taste and I don’t know how I’m gonna continue. Yeah. So Okay, that’s a lot to go through. Um, what would, what some advice you’d have for someone who’s going through that, like, how did you find your strength?

Luida: Let’s see pretty much um, like having God as your backbone was a big, big help.

Bernie: Absolutely.

Luida: Having the support of family and friends having huge circle of support was , it helped me through the chemo treatments.

Emirick: Now I heard that after your experience, you started supporting other family and friends who were diagnosed with breast cancer. Why is that important for you to help them?

Luida: Let’s see, when it comes to my experience with breast cancer, I definitely wanted to be open to anyone who was experiencing the same thing or someone who knew someone that was going through breast cancer, because I wanted to, like ease their anxiety, kind of give them an idea of what they’re gonna go through, or some of the good and bad things that they’ll experience during the chemo treatments.

Emirick: How did you begin doing that? Did you just identify– how did you learn of people also diagnosed with breast cancer?

Luida: Actually, after I went through my own chemo treatments, it was strange because I had a co worker, I had a cousin and I had three church friends that also had breast cancer. And then I was open to answering other questions. Yeah.

Bernie: You know, God has His has His way. You know, it’s like He, you went through this, this journey that was painful. But I always I always think like, when things happen when I experience things that aren’t always the best experience, I always like, there’s a reason. There’s a reason why I’m going through this, whatever it is, I’ll try my best to be present when I realize what that reason is. And I feel like because of your positive, positive attitude and the strength that you have shown, here’s the reason. And because you have had some close friends and family go through a similar experience, you were there and you helped create a village for them.

Emirick: Right? It’s like uh, I feel the same way like maybe you went through it because you were super strong. You had to go yes first. Yeah, you could turn around and be like Alright guys, we got this, you know. Interesting that I see. I see that too.

Bernie: Is that Yeah, so just to summarize what I’m learning is that number one, to all our listeners out there, right, get a mammogram– never too late. Right I’m actually actually penciling it in there’s like I’m like actually writing it down on my thing like big bold letters get a mammogram, schedule, tomorrow

Emirick: I will ignore the letter that came from Kaiser the other day says primary or secondary mammogram I was like no I don’t I got I got the first one already

Bernie: you’re fine. But get the mammogram. Okay, number two, find your support and your tribe which is the reason Luida wanted to help others right and and you like I said, you went through this journey and yet I felt like God was like, Okay, this is this part’s gonna be hard. But I promise you there’s a reason. And number three, pray and believe in God that’s what I’m learning from this conversation. And I have to say, again, I am just absolutely just amazed of the just the positivity, that you’re just sharing with us through this, this journey that you went through. So God is truly truly so great. So, Luida, I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story and joining Emirick and I and allowing us to go on the short journey with you with what you went through. So I appreciate that. We appreciate that

Luida: bye everyone. Thank you for having me on this podcast.

Emirick: Yes, thank you so much for sharing your story. We know that someone out there is listening who’s experiencing the same thing. And we just want to remind you that you are not alone. And God’s love never fails.

Absolutely.

Bernie: So thank you, Luida, for joining us Emmerich as usual. Thank you always for being my awesome co host. So thank you for listening to this episode of faith and family. And if you enjoy listening to us talk, laugh, cry, build each other up. You can Download more on Google podcast I Heart Radio and Apple podcasts under Faith and Family. And, as always, please, please, please, please, please leave us a review or just say hi. Other than that, please take care and stay safe. We’ll see you next time.

No Reason For Despair

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When faced with desperate situations in life, should we feel hopeless and commit misdeeds to solve our problems? In this episode, find out how God can provide the hope we’re looking for in these difficult times. Visit Pasugo: God’s Message Magazine to read more articles on how God’s words can guide your life.

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[Show Opens]

Brother Felmar Serreno: Do desperate times really call for desperate measures? Hi, and welcome to the podcast version of God’s Message magazine, where today’s topic is “No Reason For Despair.”

The prevalence of hopelessness, and of people resorting to criminal acts, when they find themselves in dire straits, can be interpreted as lack of trust in God. Sadly, many think that believing in what God can do in times of difficulties is an idea that has become outmoded or has lost its usefulness.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures” is how some people justify their aberrant behavior, saying adverse circumstances forced them to commit their misdeed. Others, on the other hand, succumb to hopelessness, and misery. Approximately 280 million people suffer from depression, the World Health Organization says.

But despair has no place in the lives of God’s faithful servants. They believe that God who parted the Red Sea to deliver the ancient Israelites from the Egyptian army, made water gushing out of rocks, to quench their thirst, and performed other works of wonder is the same God whom they can rely on to make miracles in their lives. Apostle Paul says:

“God can do anything, you know— far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!”
[Ephesians 3:20 The Message]

Brother Felmar: Nothing is impossible with God. He can do anything in our wildest imagination, far more than we could ever request. His power has not diminished through the ages, for He neither faints, nor is weary. And that’s based on Isaiah chapter 40, verse 28. Though we may not see today the same kind of miracles He performed during the olden times, God’s omnipotence remains evident in the lives of His chosen ones today, the members of the Church Of Christ.

The Iglesia Ni Cristo [Church Of Christ] is God’s modern-day miracle. Facing seemingly insurmountable odds, this Church bucked the trend and made astonishing feats where others have lagged and failed. From its modest beginnings and preached by a man seen to be bereft of earthly virtues the Church has spread far and wide, with congregations in 159 countries and territories, and members from more than 147 races and ethnicities.

Some might point out that other religious organizations have also started small and grown extensively. But what make the Iglesia Ni Cristo [Church Of Christ] feats truly remarkable are the enormous odds stacked against it. It emerged in the Philippines at a time when Catholic beliefs were already widely entrenched within the archipelago, and Protestantism had deeply taken root. The surroundings were simply too hostile, and not conducive for the growth of the then budding church. Compounding the problem was the eruption of the Second World War and the subsequent foreign occupation of the Philippines.

The Church survived those testing times flourishing and growing by leaps and bounds despite the unfavorable setting. Such expansion remains unabated even now, when the so-called religious recession has afflicted majority of Christian-professing groups. While many churches are experiencing significant drop in their membership and clergy, the opposite is happening to the Iglesia Ni Cristo [Church Of Christ]. Multitudes of converts are being added continually. Hundreds of ministers are being ordained yearly. And scores of new houses of worship are built annually.

Members of the Church Of Christ have proven true in their life what Apostle Paul taught: God can do beyond what His people could ever imagine or request. The uninterrupted triumphs of the Iglesia Ni Cristo [Church Of Christ] in its 107-year journey are nothing less than miraculous, and bespeak God’s infinite power and glory as He fulfilled His promises to the Church in these last days. And that’s based on what is written in Isaiah, chapter 41, verses 9 to 16; Isaiah chapter 43, verses 5 to 6; Isaiah [chapter] 46 [verses] 11 to 13 and Isaiah chapter 62, verses 11 to 12. It is He, the omnipotent God, who made the impossible, possible, the unachievable, achievable.

This is what gives comfort and inspiration to God’s chosen servants. In the face of life’s pains and sorrows, they find no reason for despair. Apostle Paul explains why:

“Because I have the strength to meet and overcome every difficulty and circumstance, thru the power that Christ gives me.”
[Philippians 4:13 The Last Days Bible]

Brother Felmar: Hence, true Christians in desperate times cling tightly to God. When life gets tough, and burdens become too heavy to bear, they turn to their Creator:

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father …”

[Ephesians 3:14 The Message]

For more articles like these, get your copy of God’s Message magazine, from a member of the Church Of Christ. You can listen and subscribe to this podcast on Apple podcast, Google podcast, and the INC Media mobile app. Thank you for listening. I’m Brother Felmar Serreno. God bless.

[Music stops]

[Show ends]

¿Acaso los verdaderos cristianos celebran la Navidad?

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¿Los verdaderos cristianos celebran la Navidad? ¿Por qué la Navidad no se basa en la Biblia? Aprenda cómo la Biblia enseña cómo los verdaderos cristianos celebran al Señor Jesucristo.

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¿Deberíamos celebrar la Navidad?

[Mostrar abierto]

Hermano Solomon: Bienvenidos nuestros queridos amigos a El Mensaje, un programa presentado por la Iglesia De Cristo. Yo soy el Hermano Solomon Joves.

Para millones de personas alrededor del mundo “la Navidad” que supuestamente conmemora el nacimiento de Jesucristo, es un evento religioso muy importante, una de las ocasiones más observadas cada año.

Capillas, catedrales e incluso casas están decoradas, y muchos cantan himnos especiales, villancicos, y “oratorios” durante lo que ellos llaman la temporada Navideña.

¿Pero es el 25 de diciembre en verdad la fecha del nacimiento del Salvador, el Señor Jesucristo? ¿Los primeros cristianos celebraron la Navidad como lo que muchas iglesias que profesan ser cristianos hoy lo hacen?

En un libro titulado “Lo Externo de La Iglesia Católica” escrito por un sacerdote llamado John F. Sullivan, esto es lo que dice en página 136 de este libro.

[El texto en pantalla gráficos – la fuente: Lo Externo de La Iglesia Católica,página 136]

Celebraciones de tiempos antiguos. ¿Cuan antiguo es el día de Navidad? … Uno pensaría que, naturalmente, el aniversario de un evento tan grande como el nacimiento del Hijo de Dios hubiera sido un día de alegría religiosa desde los primeros años de la Iglesia; pero está claro que este no fue el caso. No se menciona en ninguna de las más antiguas listas de festivales de la Iglesia …

Hubo una gran diversidad de opiniones entre las autoridades antiguas respecto al cumpleaños de nuestro bendito Salvador. Muchos escritores, especialmente de la Iglesia de Oriente, le asignan un tiempo totalmente diferente del año del que se observa en la actualidad. San Clemente de Alejandría cita a algunos que lo colocan el veinte de abril o el veinte de mayo, y una creencia muy común en Oriente era que nuestro Señor nació el seis de enero.

Hermano Solomon: Un sacerdote católico mismo admite que la Navidad no era celebrada en los primeros años de La Iglesia durante el tiempo de los apóstoles y los primeros Cristianos. De hecho, él añade que no hay ninguna mención de la Navidad en ninguna de las listas más antiguas de festivales.

También dice que hay diversas opiniones entre autoridades ancianas sobre la fecha del cumpleaños de Jesucristo. Algunos dicen que se nació el 20 de Abril, otros argumentan que era el 20 de Mayo, mientras otros aún dicen que nació el seis de Enero.

¿Que más admiten otras autoridades católicas respecto a sus celebraciones de Navidad?

En un libro llamado, “Manual de Practicas Católicas” esto es lo que está escrito en la página 176.

[El texto en pantalla gráficos – la fuente: Manual de Practicas Católicas, página 176]

… anteriormente, era el 6 de enero que se celebraba la Navidad, pero a principios del cuarto siglo, el Papa Julio I cambió la fecha al 25 de diciembre, ya que la fecha correcta se desconoce.

Hermano Solomon: Las autoridades católicas confiesan que nadie sabe la fecha real del nacimiento de Jesucristo. Añaden que comenzaron a observar 25 de diciembre como el nacimiento de Jesucristo sólo al principio del siglo IV (Cuarto siglo) – cientos de años después del nacimiento, muerte, resurrección y ascensión del Señor Jesucristo.

Tomen en cuenta que los Apóstoles y el mismo Señor Jesucristo no tuvieron nada que ver con la designación de 25 de Diciembre como la fecha de su nacimiento.

De hecho, en un libro titulado, “Del Paganismo al Cristianismo en el Imperio Romano” el autor Walter Woodburn Hyde declara lo siguiente en la página 249:

[El texto en pantalla gráficos – la fuente: Del Paganismo al Cristianismo en el Imperio Romano, página 249]

… todas las ramas de la Iglesia están de acuerdo que no existe ningún dato para determinar el día, mes, o año del evento, ni fue un festival que se celebró en los tiempos Apostólicos ni posteriormente después del inicio de los tiempos apostólicos.

Hermano Solomon: Una vez más, otro autor da fe de que no existen datos para determinar el día exacto, el mes o el año del nacimiento de Jesucristo, ni hubo ningún dato a extraer de determinar si se observó tal evento durante el tiempo de los Apóstoles y de los primeros cristianos.

Entonces, es la Navidad, que se celebra el 25 de Diciembre, una celebración Cristiana? Estudiaremos la respuesta de esta pregunta, enseguida – por favor quédese con nosotros.

[bumper]

Hermano Solomon: Bienvenido de nuevo a El Mensaje. Ahora queridos amistades y televidentes, si los Apóstoles y los primeros Cristianos nunca celebraron Navidad, como acabamos de estudiar, pues ¿por qué muchos celebran el nacimiento del Señor Jesucristo el 25 de Diciembre? ¿De qué trata realmente esta fecha?

En un libro escrito por Francis X. Weiser titulado “Manual de Festivales y Costumbres Cristianos” esto es lo que podemos leer sobre la página 60.

[El texto en pantalla gráficos – la fuente: Manual de Festivales y Costumbres Cristianos, página 60]

… el escoger al 25 de Diciembre fue influenciado por el hecho de que los Romanos, desde el tiempo del Emperador Aurelio (275), habían celebrado el festival del dios sol (Sol Invictus: el Sol Inconquistado) en ese día. Diciembre 25 fue llamado “Nacimiento del Sol”, y grandes celebraciones religiosas paganas del culto de los Mitras se llevaban a cabo a través del imperio.”

Hermano Solomon: Según este autor, la selección del 25 de Diciembre fue influenciado por el hecho de que los Romanos, desde la época del emperador Aureliano (275), habían celebrado la fiesta del dios Sol (Sol Invictus: el Sol Invicto) en ese día.

Añade que se llevaron a cabo grandes celebraciones paganas durante todo el imperio durante ese tiempo, el 25 de Diciembre. Esta fecha coincide casualmente con el festival pagano de Brumalia o solsticio de invierno.

Ahora ¿qué hizo la Iglesia Católica a continuación? En la Enciclopedia de Collier, volumen 6 página 403, esto está escrito.

[El texto en pantalla gráficos – la fuente: Enciclopedia de Collier, volumen 6 página 403]

Aprovechado la oportunidad para apartar a la gente de una observancia puramente pagana del solsticio de invierno a un día de adoración a Cristo el Señor.

Hermano Solomon: ¿Que más hicieron acerca de estas prácticas? Bueno, incluso el Papa Gregorio I dio instrucciones para infundir un significado Cristiano a las viejas costumbres, tratando de propagar sus creencias.

Esto es lo que está escrito en un libro titulado “El Libro Americano de Días” página 1143.

[Gregory I] instruyó a Agustín de Canterbury, quien envió a Inglaterra en 596, para observar las viejas costumbres, infundiéndoles significado cristiano para propagar la fe

Hermano Solomon: La política de guardar viejas costumbres y nada más infundirlas con un supuesto significado Cristiano contribuyó enormemente a la continuación de muchas costumbres paganas que ahora se asocian con el tiempo de la Navidad.

Esto llevó a otros a concluir lo siguiente acerca de la Navidad: otra vez en el libro titulado “Manual de Festivales y Costumbres Cristianas” escrito por Francis Weiser en la página 60.

[El texto en pantalla gráficos – la fuente: “Manual de Festivales y Costumbres Cristianas” escrito por Francis Weiser en la página 60]

… a veces se dice que la navidad solo es un “festival pagano convertido a Cristiano

Hermano Solomon: Entonces, es muy claro, queridos amigos que la Navidad no fue celebrada por los Apóstoles ni los primeros Cristianos, y que no hay evidencia en la Biblia para probar que tal festival fue mandado celebrar por el Señor.

La historia también demuestra que la celebración de la Navidad no es más que una enseñanza hecha por el hombre.

Ahora ¿qué es la consecuencia del mal si uno va a mezclar su servicio a Dios con la observancia de los mandamientos de los hombres, como la de Navidad? ¿Dios juzgue servicios dignos y de culto rendido a Él, si estos se basan en las enseñanzas hechas por el hombre?

Encontraremos la respuesta, cuando regresemos a El Mensaje.

[bumper]

Hermano Solomon: Bienvenido de nuevo al, El Mensaje. Hemos aprendido que el inicio y el desarrollo de la Navidad no puede atribuirse a prácticas que eran puramente cristiana. De hecho, la Navidad surgió de prácticas paganas, que fueron inventados por meros hombres.

Ahora, ¿cuál es la mala consecuencia si uno mezcla su servicio a Dios con celebrar los mandamientos de los hombres como la Navidad?

¿Acaso Dios considerará dignos los servicios y la adoración rendidos a Él si estos son basados en las enseñanzas de los hombres? Nuestro Señor Jesucristo nos enseña en Mateo 15:9 (RVR1960). Escuchen por favor.

Pues en vano me honran,

Enseñando como doctrinas, mandamientos de hombres.

[Mateo 15:9 Reina Valera 1960]

Hermano Solomon: ¿Aceptará el Señor la adoración y los servicios que el hombre Le rinde que están basados en enseñanzas y mandamientos de los hombres?

¡Absolutamente no! Con toda claridad declara el Señor que toda la adoración que le rindan que está basada en los mandamientos y enseñanzas de hombres será en vano.

Algunos quizás argumentan, “Pero es una tradición que se había sido hecho por tanto tiempo, no puedo parar ahora!”

¿Qué es el aviso de los Apóstoles sobre basar la fe de uno en tradiciones humanas? En Colosenses 2:8 (RVR1960), esto es lo que se puede leer.

Mirad que nadie os engañe por medio de filosofías y huecas sutilezas, según las tradiciones de los hombres, conforme a los rudimentos del mundo, y no según Cristo.

[Colosenses 2:8 Reina Valera 1960]

Hermano Solomon: Queridos amigos, el Apóstol Pablo nos enseña que debemos ser cuidadosos y no dejarnos engañar por medio de filosofías, palabras huecas, según las tradiciones de los hombres.

Pero no se confundan sobre esto queridos amigos – cuando no nos conformamos con la manera de gente de este mundo de celebrar el nacimiento de Cristo mediante la Navidad el 25 de diciembre, no significa que nosotros en la Iglesia De Cristo no celebramos un festival en honor de Cristo.

De acuerdo con el Apóstol Pablo, ¿de qué manera deben los verdaderos cristianos celebrar el ser receptores de la gracia de la salvación de Cristo y cómo debe conmemorarlo? Aqui en 1 Corintios 5:7-8 (NVI), escuchen por favor.

Desháganse de la vieja levadura para que sean masa nueva, panes sin levadura, como lo son en realidad. Porque Cristo, nuestro Cordero pascual, ya ha sido sacrificado. Así que celebremos nuestra Pascua no con la vieja levadura, que es la malicia y la perversidad, sino con pan sin levadura, que es la sinceridad y la verdad.

[1 Corintios 5:7-8 Nueva Versión Internacional]

Hermano Solomon: Queridos amigos, lo que el hombre debe observar o hacer es eliminar el mal o la persona malvada de sí mismo para que pueda permanecer pura. El Apóstol Pablo dice que nuestra Pascua es Cristo que ha sido sacrificado por nosotros.

Así que, dijo, vamos a mantener el festival cada vez más fuerte en la vida cristiana, dejando tras de malicia y de maldad y deleitamos en el pan sin levadura, de sinceridad y de verdad.

Entonces, de qué manera nos mandó nuestro Señor Jesucristo recordarle? El Apóstol Pablo continúa enseñándonos en lo siguiente que está grabado en I Corintios 11:23-25 (NVI).

Yo recibí del Señor lo mismo que les transmití a ustedes: Que el Señor Jesús, la noche en que fue traicionado, tomó pan, y después de dar gracias, lo partió y dijo: «Este pan es mi cuerpo, que por ustedes entrego; hagan esto en memoria de mí.» De la misma manera, después de cenar, tomó la copa y dijo: «Esta copa es el nuevo pacto en mi sangre; hagan esto, cada vez que beban de ella, en memoria de mí.»

[I Corintios 11:23-25 Nueva Versión Internacional]

Hermano Solomon: El Apóstol Pablo estaba pasando en lo que le fue dado a él por el Señor—la forma de recordar al Señor Jesucristo. Cada vez que uno participa del pan y bebe de la copa, en fin, si uno participa de la Santa Cena instituida por el Señor Jesucristo mismo, esa persona está recordando con afecto al Señor Jesucristo.

Y eso es lo que cumplimos dentro la Iglesia De Cristo. ¿Pero es sólo a través de la Santa Cena que se conmemora el Señor Jesucristo? ¿Cómo podemos recordarlo?

¿Cómo podemos dar valor a nuestro Señor Jesucristo en nuestras vidas? Esto es lo que la Biblia enseña en Hebreos 12:1-3 (NVI):

Por tanto, también nosotros, que estamos rodeados de una multitud tan grande de testigos, despojémonos del lastre que nos estorba, en especial del pecado que nos asedia, y corramos con perseverancia la carrera que tenemos por delante. Fijemos la mirada en Jesús, el iniciador y perfeccionador de nuestra fe, quien, por el gozo que le esperaba, soportó la cruz, menospreciando la vergüenza que ella significaba, y ahora está sentado a la derecha del trono de Dios. Así, pues, consideren a aquel que perseveró frente a tanta oposición por parte de los pecadores, para que no se cansen ni pierdan el ánimo.

[Hebreos 12:1-3 Nueva Versión Internacional]

Hermano Solomon: Queridos amigos, la manera de celebrar la “Pascua”, o al participar de la Santa Cena en honor de nuestro Señor Jesucristo para los verdaderos cristianos es no sólo cada año como muchos dicen que hacen en su día de Navidad—pero todos los días durante toda su vida, llevando una vida de pureza y verdad, o en justicia. Esta es la verdadera esencia de recordar y dar importancia a nuestro Salvador Jesucristo en nuestra vida.

Queridos amigos y los que están viendo este programa, nunca ha sido nuestra intención lastimar los sentimientos al exponer algunas enseñanzas y creencias que no son bíblicas.

Nuestro ferviente deseo es compartir la verdad con todos; e informar a la gente sobre lo que la Biblia verdaderamente enseña respecto a las varias enseñanzas y creencias religiosas que en la actualidad sostiene la gente. Porque escuchando, abrazando y aceptando la verdad escrita en la Biblia es lo que nos acercará al Señor Dios.

Soy el Hermano Solomon Joves, gracias por acompañarnos en nuestro estudio de El Mensaje, en la Biblia.

Reflecting on Lessons Learned (Season 1)

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An episode that looks back at all the conversations from this past season of what it’s like making changes in life and benefits of learning from others.

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Aliw Garcia Pablo: Hi, everyone, welcome to Episode 10 of the Making Changes podcast. Episode 10 already! I can’t believe it. Well, we just want to say thank you to all of you who have listened and have messaged us to say how much certain episodes have moved you and helped you go through a change in your life. So as we close out Season One of Making Changes, we wanted to do an episode that looks back at all the conversations we’ve had, and some life lessons that have been learned and shared. And it’s been great hearing from our listeners on our Making Changes Podcast, Instagram account. And here are some of the messages that we received from you on some changes you’re ready to make.

[Music starts]

Merck: A change I am ready to make in my life, just to become more physically active.

Mia: …is to only take on what I can handle. And I really, really want to do the best and everything that I set my mind to.

Morgan: I heard a saying on the radio the other day, and they quote, “When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment around it. Best change you can hope for can only come from God. However a change in the scenery and perspective can replenish your hope.”

Brainard: One thing that I want to change is finding the balance in my everyday schedule.

Kath: …less overthinking, work less, and pray to God.

Also, more planning and sticking to it with discipline and not insisting on my devotional prayers.

Michelle: In our society, we tend to shame people a lot. And I don’t want to do that anymore.

[Music ends]

Aliw Garcia Pablo: It seems at the time of quarantine has really helped people to step back and look at parts of their lives that need changing and improving, especially when it comes to relationships. And speaking of relationships, we’re going to do something a little different in this episode. My co-host today is Martin Zerrudo who’s going to tell us about the exciting new season for Heart & Soul, another very popular INC Media podcast.

Now, Heart & Soul is a podcast about real conversations with people around the world about love and relationships guided by the words of God. So I thought it would be kind of neat for us to reflect back on Season One of Making Changes while talking about what we have to look forward to for the new season of Heart & Soul. So join me in welcoming Martin Zerrudo. Hey, Martin.

Martin Zerrudo: Hey, Aliw. Man, thank you so much for having me. First of all, congratulations on the amazing Season One of Making Changes. Really amazing.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Thank you!

Martin Zerrudo: Oh, you’re very welcome. No, thank you. It’s refreshing content for all of us who have yet to kind of look at life through that kind of lens or perspective or filter. So it’s, it’s really interesting, every single episode and you know, since we’re on the topic of Making Changes, and quarantine and pandemic…

Aliw Garcia Pablo: No, I was going to say, well, here in California, where we’re from, you know, things are kind of opening, have opened up actually. And we’re kind of slowly moving back to normalcy if that’s what we want to call it, new normal, but I know they’re in Toronto, where you’re at, you know, you guys are still pretty much in quarantine, aren’t you?

Martin Zerrudo: Yeah, we’re not making any changes at all. We’re staying exactly in the same place.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: No changes, huh?

Martin Zerrudo: No changes, no change, no color changes, no zone changes, or stage changes. We’re just, we’re just staying at home changing our clothes, I guess what we’re doing. So I mean, I think hopefully, we’ll get there in some shape or form of normalcy. But in terms of those changes, what would you say to yourself in the craziness of this past year and a half or so, what has been the biggest change for you?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: You know, when quarantine started, right? Last year, I think, I mean, there are so many statistics that show that people really got to spend time doing things they wouldn’t normally have time to do. So I think for me, one of the biggest changes is obviously number one, I’m spending more time with my family, talking to my kids more, my husband more and you know, thank God, we still really like each other. And, I think the biggest change is just also making the conscious effort to actually go for a walk every day. And that’s actually when I really got into podcasts was during quarantine because going out for going out on a walk with a dog and just having more time for self-improvement things whether it be really making the time to work out, making the time to journal and praying more, quarantine has really forced us to stop and think about things that we normally didn’t have time to think about.

Martin Zerrudo: For sure.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: I know you guys are still in quarantine mode. But what has been the biggest change for you this past year, you think? I mean, you’re still a newlywed, you know…

Martin Zerrudo: I am. We’re still in year two.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Year two. A newlywed in quarantine. What was that like?

Martin Zerrudo: So we got married in 2019 in October and then a year and a half of pandemic. So within this pandemic, I got married. Me and my wife–we started off in my bedroom on a twin bed in a townhouse with like, seven people, so super cramped. And then we moved twice in the pandemic. And then and yeah, so it’s been a lot of changes.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: A lot of changes

Martin Zerrudo: A lot of changes, but you know, what I think I’ve realized is–the love has changed. I think the love between family members: you’re around them more often, because you’re at home, the way that you communicate, and the way that you live your individual lives in the same space has affected the way that you interact so much. But the love changes because you kind of grow in understanding, and definitely in patience. Whether it’s me and my wife, getting to know each other in this new stage as a married couple, between me and my brothers, and my sister-in-law, me and my parents because we all lived in one space at one point. Yes, so the love changes. But I think in a positive way because it kind of forces you to explore areas of your relationship with your parents and your siblings and your family and your friends that you never would have had this pandemic now forced us in these unique living situations or restrictions or methods of communication.

Like I never thought there would be so much value just looking at my friends like looking at you, in this video call even though it’s just digital. That means something now to so many people because we haven’t been able to see each other because he can’t fly, he can’t travel, he can’t go out of your home or your city. So yeah, the love has changed. But I think it only enhances, and kind of makes you, just realize how special the physical time face to face time and the ability to spend time with people, how much that really matters.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: I think when you say the love has changed, the love has made us definitely more grateful for the people that we still do have in our lives. For both of us, we’re blessed that both sets of our parents are still alive and with us. And so I think, you know, during the pandemic, my parents are both retired and they live three blocks away from me with my sister. And so, you know, they really couldn’t leave their home for a long time. And, you know, there was such a protectiveness that we then take on when it comes to our elderly loved ones, right. And so I think overall, the loss of life has made so many people just change in perspective and gratitude and appreciation, and making time to actually to think about that, you know, and for us in our family prayers, we often say that, “may we never take for granted any of Your blessings. Whether it be the small blessings or big blessings…” because there’s really no small blessing…

Martin Zerrudo: For sure.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: …since tomorrow is never promised.

Martin Zerrudo: And a great way to kind of appreciate and never take for granted that kind of blessing. It’s just being able to talk about it.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes.

Martin Zerrudo: Talk about what it’s somebody who maybe has never heard of those blessings that you’ve gone through or that you’ve received. And so when it comes to the Making Changes podcasts and those kinds of conversations, and the blessings that your guests discussed, what would you say or do you have a favorite conversation or episode about those kinds of perspectives and blessings?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Gosh, after every episode, we always say, “That’s my favorite episode.”

Martin Zerrudo: That’s the best one.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: That’s the best one, right? And I think that’s what’s been so great. The blessing of this podcast is we, in one season, tackled, kind of some really, really depressing types of subjects, whether it be grief, death, chronic illness, homeschooling your kids as teacher moms, our most recent one is moving away from home and college. I think there’s not really so much that they’re really depressing, but rather, topics, or conversations, that not a lot of people are having because they’re hard, because they’re sad.

Martin Zerrudo: Right.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: So I think every single one is a favorite episode simply because it’s a conversation that we need to have. Maybe some people may not want to listen to it right now because it’s too heavy. But when that time in their life comes, they’re going to have to face grief. We hope they remember Oh, wait a minute, making changes did an episode on that. Let me take a listen. You know, and it’ll still be there and they’ll still be relevant. But talking about relevancy. I think our most recent episode about, you know, being strong Christians while away in college, I think for me, was a favorite one because I’ve got two college kids here at home. They’re not moving away from home. But they’re at home. And I really, and they listened to–one of them listened to it. And I also think it’s because of just where I am in my stage in life, where I have a lot of friends who are right now facing the empty nest phase, right? So I just really feel like that episode is a favorite, because it’s going to help so many people.

Martin Zerrudo: You know for sure, there are so many different methods of saying goodbye in different ways in which you’ve had to say goodbye, especially in this last year and a half. But particularly with that episode, where you’re saying goodbye to your kids because they’re transitioning to another stage in their life. What are some of the fears that you have, as a mom knowing that eventually, they’re going to want to have to leave the nest and venture off and start that next space?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: You know, as a parent, there are so many different fears, depending on the stage of the child, right? When they’re walking, you’re fearful that they’re going to grab something and put it in their mouth that they shouldn’t have. And then they’re going to choke and all that stuff. And then now they’re walking, now they’re out in the world, in school, and you’re worried like, Is someone going to bully them, and then they’re in high school, and you’re worried about peer pressure. So at every stage as a parent, there are always worries. So I think right now with where they are in their lives, I’ve told them this directly, too is that sometimes the fear is, they end up being a person that we don’t even recognize anymore. Like, wow, you’ve changed so much, I don’t know who you are, is this the child we raised? Are they going to remember everything we’ve tried to teach them spiritually–when it comes to faith, when it comes to values when it comes to dealing with people when it comes to dealing with problems because this generation of kids, they’ve grown up with, everything they could ever need and want in life, right? Versus, for example, the way my husband and I grew up, right, we, you know, they always say, with every generation, the parents always want to give their kids more than they ever had.

Martin Zerrudo: Yes

Aliw Garcia Pablo: So I think the fear is for them to take for granted what they have. And not take time to look at the blessings and only focus on what they don’t have. Because for me, if you have gratitude, you have gratitude to God, your gratitude to those you love. That is more powerful than whatever struggle or suffering you’re going through. Because gratitude is what will ground you back, pull you back, rein you in, to really step back and have the perspective of like, man, I am still blessed.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: I may be going through A, B, C, and D. But look at the overall picture. I am so blessed. So one of my biggest fears is my kids won’t have grit in life, and easily break.

Martin Zerrudo: Right.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: And not be able to know how to handle struggles and failures. So that’s it. Strength, right? I always pray for strength for them. And to make the right decisions and to always choose wisely.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely. So many lessons: a lesson of gratitude, a lesson of strength. Were there any other lessons? Or was there one lesson when it came to your guests? Or a conversation that you had on Making Changes that really helped you? Or did those conversations really support those lessons of gratitude and of strength and resilience?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: You know, I think with every episode, even though our guests didn’t necessarily all know each other, right, but if you listen to their stories, their stories are so similar in the sense where yes, I was a nurse in the middle of a pandemic. Yes, it was hard. I was worried. You know, my kid got sick. I was worried. Am I gonna get the virus and that… but I just made sure I prayed before my shift, after my shift, and then I just had that confidence. Or another episode, you know, yes, I was diagnosed with cancer as a 10-year-old. Yes, it was hard. I went through this, this, and this, but I prayed, and I knew that God was with me. So now I am much braver than I thought it was going to be.

So resilience, I think resilience and bravery and courage, the number one, comes in different shapes or forms. It can come with a nine-year-old child diagnosed with cancer, or it can come with a seasoned nurse, dealing with a very busy Hospital in New York who, just inundated with COVID cases. But at the end of the day, no matter what the person’s life context is, it’s the faith of that person, how it grows and develops, but that every challenge that our guests went through, even though it was hard at first, in the end, they were thankful for it.

Martin Zerrudo: Nice. And you know, it’s funny, there are so many more stories of thankfulness out there. And so when you look back at this First Season of Making Changes, what would you say you’ve been most thankful for? And what do you have to look forward to for the next season?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Honestly, I’m just thankful that people were willing to sit down and talk. And some of them we met for the first time on the podcast. I was just thankful that people were willing to share their stories. And that I’m thankful that we have this platform. We have this platform to talk about things that are hard conversations that maybe people aren’t having within their small circles. But if it means that they can listen to this podcast and get the advice that they can get, while they quietly struggle, then I feel like we’ve, this podcast has done its job and really strengthened people’s faith, strengthened their resilience and their courage and faith, faith in God overall.

[Music starts]

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Martin, what was your favorite episode of Making Changes? Oh oh, now we’re going to test you.

[Music ends]

Martin Zerrudo: Man, well, you know, I have to say, the most recent one only because it just makes me recall a time. So I went to college, two times, for two completely different majors. None of which I’m really doing. But that’s okay. That’s a different story. It’s a different podcast episode. But I remember I didn’t really have a set group of friends, I didn’t really always hang out with only you know, hey, you want to hang out after class. I was just there for the course.

Take the class, take the test, whatever, and then leave. Take the exam and then leave, hand in the assignment, then leave, go to the lecture and then leave. On the last day of college, they like, “Hey, we’re all graduating from this program now. Do you all want to go to the restaurant and eat?” So I was like, “Okay, cool. I’ll go.” I don’t really hang out with those people. But I went, I’m like, “Okay, now we’re not going to see these guys again, probably. So let’s just, let’s all eat.” And I’m just, we’re all having fun. And I’m like, “Okay, I’ll loosen up”, and I’m making some jokes, and they’re laughing. And they turned to me, and they’re like, “Martin, how come you didn’t hang out with us more during these last four years?” And for a second, I was like, “you know what I should have, right? Because this is so much fun.”

But then it made me realize sitting there in that restaurant like my goal was never to create a new or find a new community of friends–is nothing wrong with making those connections. There’s nothing wrong with relying on each other to get through the challenges of post-secondary life, whether in university, a community, a trade, school, whatever. It’s hard, and it’s obvious you’re in the trenches together for four years.

So you’re seeing these people going through the same thing. So you rely on one another. But for me, I already had that. I had that with my brothers and sisters at Church, I had that with my loved ones and my friends in the Church Of Christ. I had that. So I guess I didn’t really need to do that. And then the second time I went to university, I did even less, I barely talked to anybody else. And I just wanted to go to class and then I left. When I listened to that episode, where one person went to Korea and another was moving, so they can go to the University of San Francisco, you can really tell from one of the guests, the one who’s about to go to university, she’s like, wide-eyed and super excited and ready to go. And the other one, who has already gone through that experience, is much wiser than it was like, yeah, this is what you see around you. There’s a drinking culture in Korea, and everybody’s going out all the time. And I totally relate to her because that was never, that doesn’t really it’s not really your objective. It’s like one of those things that they sell you like, hey, college is gonna be the best years of your life, you’re gonna have new experiences.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: No. That’s a really great point. You know, as members of the Church, I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about being part of our INC family is that we already have that, right? We have that in our different local congregations. But I’m glad you bring that up. Because that was one of our questions in the podcast, how crucial is it? To have friends in the Church while you’re in college? You know, because I think that’s one of the things that if you don’t have that if you don’t find that community in the Church with like-minded Christians, young Christian friends, you’re gonna go look, go look for it elsewhere. Lucky for you and me that we have that because we didn’t need the college experience to provide that sense of community for us.

Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. And I just want to point out there will never be a moment for anybody in this world who ends up going to college or university where you will be 100% prepared.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes. Absolutely. I mean, not directly related to college, but you know, your whole thing about looking for answers and being confused in life, whether it be in college or just life in general. You know, our very first episode of Knowing the True God with Ahmad and Naima was, I’m so glad we started the season with that episode because it was really profound, you’re really talking about seekers, right? People who are siblings who didn’t know the other one was seeking, right, but just… everyone is going through something and they think listening to this is definitely one of my favorite episodes, listening to these two siblings who absolutely adore each other, absolutely respect each other. And just that act of love right, that Ahmad shared with his sister that totally completely changed her life.

That was really profound to kind of sit back and listen to them, talk about it, and reflect and recount what that time of their life was like. And I think with this show, that we do a lot of reflecting. And a lot of reflecting on things that some people may not have actually spent time thinking about. You know, even the episode with Brother Donald Pinnock and his son, Brother Daniel, they’re at two opposite ends of the world. But when they were talking for the podcast, it’s like they were right there and just picking up from where they left off, because they’ve already had such a strong bond. But you know, it’s again, it’s those conversations that if people aren’t having them, we hope they do. We hope they have them. We hope they have that conversation with their dad or their mom because they listened to the sweet and honest and really loving conversation that Brother Donald and Brother Daniel had so there are so many. And then like with Ahmad and Naima hopefully someone actually messaged us and said, “Hey, because of that podcast, I reached out to my brother, who I haven’t talked to…”

Martin Zerrudo: No way.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes. “I reached out to my brother, who I haven’t talked to in a while.” So, wow, okay, I didn’t think that was going to be one of the impacts or the results of it, but praise God, right? That it was able to have that kind of impact on people.

Marin Zerrudo: So what do you have coming up for next season?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Well, we don’t have all the episodes lined up yet. But we are hoping to explore topics like conversations for women in the workforce. How do you assert yourself as a competent and confident woman but still, as a God-fearing servant of God? Like, how do you do that in the workplace? So we’re hoping to get a mentor and a mentee since this is really what the show is about. And also, we’re hoping to explore conversations and how people have dealt with racism in any, or any kind of prejudice that people may be experiencing, and still, be an honorable Christian through it all. And honestly, I don’t know how many seasons we’ll have with the show. But there are endless hard conversations that are waiting to be told and heard. And, God willing, it can help so many more people out there. So you know, that’s us for Making Changes. But you know, as we close out our season one, you’re starting your new season of Heart & Soul. And I know you have so many fans, Heart & Soul hardcore fans that are just waiting to hear what new conversations they’re going to be listening to. So what’s up for this new season of Heart & Soul?

Martin Zerrudo: Speaking of reflecting, the show has been around for over five years. And over five years now. And shout out to Lois Paula, who’s a co-host of mine, for the podcast. And you know, five years later, we’re still talking about love.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: That topic will never go out of style.

Martin Zerrudo: Never. Because somebody falls in love and gets their heart broken every single day. You know, and for members of the Church Of Christ, especially in 2021, speaking of love changing, oh man, talk about how much it’s changed. The method of communicating how we feel, communicating how we don’t feel, how that relates to romantic feelings to feelings between friends, between somebody who has a different belief or faith in you. And so in terms of our next season, some of the topics that we cover to Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife, was an amazing social media post that we put on our INC Media News Instagram account where we just asked, “Hey, leave a message to your future husband or future wife, you may, he may find someone they may be able to look back on this one day when you find that special person. And what I hear through the grapevine is that there were a couple of couples that were formed from that Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife post.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes, I did hear that as well.

Martin Zerrudo: So we turned an episode around or we created an episode around that conversation, of the kind of person you hope to find and the role your faith and trust in God plays in finding, the one who God intends for you to be with.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Do you think from the conversations that you’ve had all these seasons of Heart & Soul do you think that movies and media in general, do you think it’s really kind of tainted, the people’s view on the realities of love and relationships?

Martin Zerrudo: Yes, I think it’s a great question because when you look at RomComs, is it art imitating life? Or is it life imitating art? And that I guess, that permeates our relationships because should I act this way cause I saw it in this movie, so I guess I have to be that so that when you start seeing that in movies and TV shows, then, of course, members of the Church Of Christ watch that and say, “Hey, is that normal? Hey, is that okay?”

Aliw Garcia Pablo: But do you think that going back to that question of change, in just perspective in social media, I think more so now, it’s not even so much the influence of movies, but just social media in general, people’s friends. Do you find that those who are not in relationships and because of social media, they see their other friends who are in relationships or who are getting engaged, and they’re not, do you think that in itself actually has a stronger impact on people more than your usual Hollywood movies?

Martin Zerrudo: For sure. Because there’s this concept of FOMO (fear of missing out), right? You watch a movie once in a while, great, you might feel like “Man, I wish I was the leading person in that movie. I wish I was going through what they’re going through.” But then we’re now in 2021, you go through your phone, and it’s like, what, six hours a day where you’re seeing what everybody else is doing that you feel like either you should be doing or you’re missing out on fear of missing out. And a lot of that when we’re talking about relationships definitely falls under FOMO of wanting to be with someone as well, because all my other friends are with people.

And so one of our episodes, Is God Leading You Into a Relationship. And one of the topics or sorry, that topic really addresses the process in which you’re finding out with this person is whether or not you guys are a good fit. Are you forcing it? Or is God showing you red flags? Because it’s funny when we talk about the things that we pray for, and things kind of just falling into place. God didn’t force you into a good position or good part in your life, he didn’t force you into a great job, he didn’t force you into a good place in your life. So why would he force you into a relationship? And yet we see that happening all the time, where two people are like, “Oh, I don’t know if this is gonna work out but let’s just keep going. Let’s just figure it out as we go along.” But why force it when every other blessing in your life that came from God wasn’t forced?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: And I think that’s what I love about Heart & Soul is because there are questions that provoke thoughts that really make you go, “Hmmn.” That really makes you stop and think and reassess right? Reassess your actions, reassess your feelings. Reassess your relationship in a way that is still of Christian value and Christian in nature versus listening to what the world is telling you to do.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely, definitely. And you know, these conversations, they happen already, in a bus stop, they happen in a coffee shop, maybe not so much right now during the pandemic, but they happen. And there’s so much insight that you can gain from that.

Now, imagine if you had that conversation and there was a minister there to provide biblical verses to contextualize God’s teachings and the things that you’re going through every single day. And, you know, five years and running, that’s what Heart & Soul has been able to do is really take those day-to-day conversations you’re already having, and add that spiritual guidance to steer us in the right direction. Because I’m never going to say even though I’m the host and the producer that I have answers. I’m never going to say that my advice, or that I’m ever going to give advice to our listeners, it’s really just a conversation. And the guidance at the end really is the star of the show is the words of God.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes. And I think that’s what’s so great about it is that at the end of every episode is that you do have that spiritual guidance, and it feels like the Minister is right there next to you, I mean, they’re in your ear. But yeah, it has, it’s such a, you know, you’ve provided such an intimate setting when it comes to the listeners and to where they really feel like they are the subject, that the advice being given on the show is specifically for them, into them. So, kudos to the Heart & Soul team.

Martin Zerrudo: And I just want to say thank you, thank you so much. But you know what, at the end of the day, kudos to the Church Administration, really, I mean, for all the different ways and platforms that this could have been addressed. They’ve allowed us to use podcasts, so that whoever may be listening to this episode right now, wherever you may be around the world, hopefully, in whatever stage you are in life, that this content is helpful to you, that’s inspiring to you.

And I just want to say whether it’s Heart & Soul or Making Changes, the intent of the content that we created in INC Media Services is the same and that our content is just a method of providing inspiration so that they can have a stronger and healthier relationship with God in His teachings. So whether it’s Heart & Soul, Making Changes, The Solution, I’m very thankful that it’s able to exist in the platform and in the world that is INC Media Services and CEBSI because that’s why we wake up in the morning and produce the content that we produce, is to be of service to people like, whoever may be listening.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: We are just, we are so, so blessed. And we are indebted really, you’re right. We’re so indebted to the Church Administration for allowing us to have all these shows and all these platforms, and to be able to reach out to brethren all around the world, in whatever stage they’re going through, whatever season they’re going through in life. Well, thank you so much, Martin Zerrudo for taking the time…

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: to have a heart and soul conversation with me because I feel like we just had one. No, but you know, you and I, we go way back, and you are a true friend. And we work together, day in and day out. And we really do wake up in the morning feeling so grateful that we get to create such life-changing content for people and be able to share it, right? There’s just nothing more fulfilling than that.

Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. I do have one last question.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes.

Martin Zerrudo: If I may?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Go for it.

Martin Zerrudo: If we were on a Making Changes episode right now, which we are I guess, and I’m younger, Aliw Pablo who used to work at that newsroom going through that footage with her hand manually, going through scripts manually, what would you say to her? What would you say has been the biggest change from that Aliw Pablo in that newsroom to the one recording a podcast right now at home?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Wow. That is a good question because…You know, it’s funny because I went into TV news because I wanted to tell stories. Yes, I was this, really young, wide-eyed, and bushy-tailed 19-year-old working newsroom. And then I found out oh, my gosh, this is so… my stomach would turn you know, every time I go into the newsroom because it’s a really stressful place.

People aren’t very nice during live shows. But, there was one thing that someone told me back then when I was an intern, and I was bulking tapes, bulking tapes is where you’re just erasing tapes. That’s when they were using tapes for the photographers. And he said, “You know, if you want to make it in this business, don’t ever be afraid to ask questions, because someone will always be more willing to help someone who is going to ask a question versus someone who thinks they know everything.” And that piece of advice, to be honest with you, really carried me through working in TV news, working in the advertising world, before working for the Church full time. Because to this day, at age 40, I’m going to be 48 years old, right? I am constantly wanting to learn. I am constantly trying to learn new things. I mean, you know this, I’m constantly sending you stuff like “Hey, check this out. Listen to this podcast I heard, read this article I just read.”

But there’s something about just wanting to constantly learn and always be relevant and always be of service. And mind you that young girl in the TV newsroom, I didn’t know, I was going to end up working for INC Media Services. I didn’t know that that’s what God had planned for me. But I feel like that, you know God, allowing me to meet that person. And putting that piece of advice in my mind has carried me through all these decades of being, I consider myself a creative servant, and being able to really create content for the sake of serving and for the sake of helping others.

And so I would have never guessed in a million years that this is where I would be. But also I would have never guessed in a million years just how amazing God would be and he would answer all my prayers and make all my dreams come true. And my only prayer and my only dream at the time as a young person was to be able to tell stories. I first started working for the Church and I think I told you this, my only dream at the time was I want to be able to hopefully one day tell stories of people, of brethren all over the world. And who knew the internet was going to come around. And to this day, this year, this month is my 22nd year of working for the Church Of Christ full-time. And we’re still telling stories.

[Music starts]

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Thank you so much, Martin. You are truly a joy to work with and a friend I love to chat with. So thanks for making the time and good luck. Good luck with the new season of Heart & Soul. I will definitely be listening.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: So everyone, be sure to tune in in the new season of Heart & Soul which you can listen to the INC Media app or Google or Apple podcasts and even though we are taking a break from the Making Changes podcast, be sure to follow us on our Instagram account, Making Changes podcast for updates on when season two will begin. See you next season and thanks for listening and may your change uplift you

[Music ends]

What Do You Say To Someone Who Lost A Child

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After grieving the loss of her child, Mae shares how she is coping with the loss and what her loved ones around her said during her healing process.

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Mae Peralta: You know, that I would feel guilty, because your initial reaction to the whole thing – well, if I were to be a mom, how can I be a mom, if I can’t protect the one thing [that] I’m supposed to protect?

Bernie: Right.

Emirick: Yeah.

Mae: One friend of mine was like, “Oh, you’ll have other kids!”

Bernie and Emirick: Oh.

Mae: I mean, what makes you think that this one didn’t matter, somehow?

[Music]

Bernie Rosquites: Parenting isn’t easy! It’s challenging and frustrating, but it’s also rewarding and inspiring! We just need a few reminders. Parents, dads, mamas – you’re not alone – I’m Bernie Rosquites.

Emirick Haro: And I’m Emirick Haro. We are the tired, but inspired moms, and you’re listening to the Faith and Family podcast. A Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values for every phase of your family life.

Bernie: You know, losing a loved one, it isn’t easy. I know – I recently lost my mom last October, and the grief can be… uh, quite honestly, I have no words for it. It just, it leaves you numb! And you find yourself in this space of trying not to question: why? And you want to crawl in a hole, but you can’t. And reality is you have no other option but to move forward, painfully, without the one you lost, and you have to allow time to help you heal.

Emirick: I lost my dad when I turned 21. It was something that happened suddenly, so it… I wasn’t able to prepare myself for it. But, honestly, I don’t know how I would’ve prepared myself if I had a clue that it would’ve happened anyway. Life, immediately after his passing, was difficult, it was sad, and awkward. My friends would tippy toe around me because they didn’t know how to support me. And I would tippy toe around my mom because I didn’t know how to support her. So, what’s the best way to support someone who has just lost a loved one?

Bernie: So, today, Mae Peralta will be joining us on this podcast. She lost her baby girl at 24 weeks, due to complications. She lost her girl on November 25th, 2013. But today – she is blessed with one daughter, Hope, and a pair of some amazing twins, Sam and Lily! But she is still healing from that loss, and that’s absolutely understandable. It takes time and prayer and some encouragement. Please stick around to the end of the podcast because Brother Jeff De Guia will tell us what the Bible has to say about grief and what we should have hope in.

Mae is on with us to talk about the best way to support someone who has had a miscarriage, or has experienced loss. Hello, Miss Mae! How are you?

Mae: Hi! Hi, moms! Thank you for having me!

Bernie: We’re glad to have you here! So, Mae, I know you’ve got 3 kids, girl!

Mae: Yes, I do!

Bernie: Yeees girl! A work from home husband, and a dog to take care of! I mean, just saying that, I’m already tired. What’s that like? Walk us through your day! Any day!

Mae: Let me give you an example of the day: I would wake up in the morning, get my daughter, Hope, ready for school. And even though her school is only in front of the laptop at home, it takes her literally 20 minutes to get up and get dressed. And then from there, I just kind of start looking at my laundry – to be folded, to be put away, or to be started – so that’s a neverending story. I’ll get breakfast started for the kids, and for the husband, and then from there I’ll just kind of do my daily chores, you know. Hopefully insert a walk with the dog, because sometimes I need to get out of the house.

Bernie: [Laughs] Right?!

Mae: Yeah! Ummm…. I did some panic-buying of some baked goods, so I’ve got a lot of flour that I’ve got to go through.

Bernie: Is that where all of that went?! All at your house? [Laughs]

Mae: Yeah! So, while I’m doing meal-prepping, I’m going to insert some kind of baked goods somehow because I’ve got to get through all of that flour.

Emirick: Man, it’s time for a nap already! [Laughs]

Mae: I know, right? And along with that I help Hope, the oldest, with her homework and try to get the twins to at least practice – to pretend – that we’re going to school – so they’re not just playing around the whole day.

Bernie: And to add to all this chaos, everybody, Mae’s whole family recently tested positive for COVID. But, thankfully, everyone is ok! Right? Everyone is ok?!

Mae: We are good! Thank you! By the grace of God.

Bernie: Yes, and has fully recovered! This is awesome. So, I’m glad to hear everybody is ok.

Mae: We are, thank you.

Emirick: So, your life sounds very eventful! Busy, loud… a bit chaotic? But, overall, sounds very blessed! But life wasn’t always like that. In 2013, when you lost your baby because of complications, how did you cope with losing Adeline Faith?

Mae: Ohhh… um. Honestly, it’s been a few years, but I do find myself trying to make sense of it all, still… You know, that I would feel guilty, because your initial reaction to the whole thing – well, if I were to be a mom, how can I be a mom, if I can’t protect the one thing [that] I’m supposed to protect?

Bernie: Right.

Emirick: Yeah.

Mae: And then, you know, I felt guilty because my thoughts would go to, “Oh, maybe… maybe I’m not supposed to have children?” Maybe this was God’s way of telling me, yeah, I’m not supposed to have children.

Emirick: How… how were like, you know, the people around you? Friends, you know, your community? LIke, how…

Mae: To be honest with you, I know it was difficult for them to try to figure out what to say to me, and how to act around me. And I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but almost all of them, like, kind of said the wrong thing to me. And I kind of almost felt immediately… I knew immediately that I, myself, had to kind of take the situation into my own hands. And almost, kind of, put myself in a situation where I had to show them I was ok when I still wasn’t, because I didn’t want to continue with this whole, “Are you ok? … What can I do for you?” The truth is, you couldn’t [do anything], nobody really [could].

Emirick: What are some of the things they would say that would like… sting? You know, like when they would say, “I’m sorry,” you know? And they try to make you look at the bright side?

Bernie: Right. Because, you know, people don’t [always know] what to say, but sometimes, I think the things that they say are just like… it’s definitely not what you wanted to hear.

Mae: Yeah. It wasn’t. Like… one… one friend of mine was like, “Oh, you’ll have other kids!”

Bernie: Oh?

Emirick: Mmm…

Mae: And I was just like, ok… I’m not like, you have no reaction to that because you’re just like, you’re… my friend, why would you say that to me?

Bernie: Right.

Mae: Like, what makes you think… I mean, what makes you think that the positive, the positive of like, “Oh, I’ll have other kids!” – like this one didn’t matter, somehow? And, “Don’t grieve for too long.” And I’m like, well, I haven’t even grieved yet, I’m still trying to…

Bernie: … process.

Mae: Yeah! Process everything that has happened, and at the same time, I have to put up a front with everyone, just because it’s easier for me to show you I’m ok, when I’m really not… because of, you know, comments like that! So it was just like, ok…

Emirick: So, it’s as if you had to think of them?

Mae: Yes. Honestly, like, let me… just let me be. I mean, if there was anything else, you know, just let me be… because this, I know this feeling, the sadness, isn’t going to take forever, but I just need to know that this sadness is ok for me to feel.

Bernie: Did you have anyone in your community, in your group of friends or family, that did say the right thing? Or did do… or did the right thing?

Mae: One of my good friends, best friends – she was my best friend at work – she just went, you know, you know, just… she always said, “Your faith is what’s going to take you through it – let it take you through it.” But, yeah, she was so understanding. And there are times where, you know, there are… you just can’t say anything. So, you know, on days after work, she’ll be like, “You want to go to Starbucks?” or “You know what, let’s go to our Disneyland, let’s go to Costco!” You know, just to kind of get back into what everyday life was like, again.

Emirick: Yeah, like a little bit of a distraction?

Mae: Yes! At least, for that time. To remind me that I’m not this sad person all the time. And I was, for a very long time… but she helped me through that.

Emirick: Uh, so, I’m… I’m taking notes! You know? It’s like, you’ve just got to be there. And like, you don’t have to bring it up? You don’t have to be like, positive? You just have to be like, let’s just hang out! Like, give a sense of normal! And if that person is willing to cry, or talk about it, you don’t even have to say anything! You just have to just let them know, I’m here. I’m not judging you, I’m not telling you that it’s going to be one way or the other. I’m just here… for whatever you need.

Bernie: And she, and she didn’t say any of that! She… her way was like, “Do you want to go to Costco?” You know? It wasn’t one of those, “Hey girl, I feel like you need some time…” She just…

Emirick: Yeah yeah… right?

Bernie: … went about it, normally.

Emirick: Not even saying, “You’re going to get through this.” You don’t have to say that.

Bernie: Exactly… yes!

Mae: Because it almost seemed like, if anybody were to say that to me, they’re already putting that timeline.

Bernie: They set you up!

Mae: Yeah! Yeah. So, that’s how I took it. Like, if somebody, you know, asks you or tells you that, it’s like, you’re already putting me in this position where I need to force myself to feel a certain way just because you need me to tell you, “I’m ok.” But I’m not!

Bernie: Right.

Mae: Yea.

Emirick: See, that brings so much… like, that makes so much sense.

Bernie: Yes, it does! It does.

Emirick: That makes so much sense, and I’m really glad that you’re sharing that. Even though, like, I don’t know. It’s hard to elaborate those thoughts. You know?

Bernie: Yup.

Emirick: You’re doing a really great job of elaborating it for us.

Bernie: And you know what’s awesome? Is that singing in the background.

Emirick: Exactly. [Laughs]

Mae: Oh man!

Bernie: No no no… you know what? We need some of that every so often…

Emirick: Yes!

Bernie: Especially on a Tuesday? You know what? We need some of that precious little baby singing. I appreciate that.

Emirick: The joy he’s experiencing! Like, lets us feel that joy, too. [Laughs]

Bernie: I feel it all the way from over here! I appreciate that!

Mae: Oh my gosh…

[Baby singing]

Bernie: Wow. I really appreciate what you’re sharing with us. You know… it’s, you know, you’re sharing something that… it’s difficult to talk about, but it’s part of the healing process, I hope. I know I appreciate it. And they say, time heals, but nobody… nobody says how much time. It’s difficult, but the world does move on. And God has surprised you in so many ways. Since Adeline, you’ve been pregnant twice. You gave birth to baby girl, Hope, and then, tell us about your second pregnancy!

Mae: [Laughs] Well, that’s still up for debate, if I was present or not for that?

Everyone: [Laughing]

Mae: But, um… honestly, I just remember I found out I was pregnant… again, and I’m like, oh wow? So, at exactly 20 weeks, you know, I have an ultrasound schedule to check, you know, for the gender, and you know, just you know, all of you know, just a check up. So… me and my husband, we’re there at the ultrasound techs office, all ready to go, belly all gelled up. And you know, she does her initial scan, and… you know, she’s scanning, she’s scanning… And, she kind of mentions this in a way, as if I forgot to tell her, or you know, I just forgot to mention it to her? She goes, “Oh, so you’re having twins?” And I go, “What?” And she looks at me, and I look at her, and she goes, “You’re, you know, you’re having twins!” and I go, “What?!” So, for the third time! I think she kind of got it! And she kind of mentioned, again, and she says, “You’re. Having. Twins…” and my third and last, “WHAT” was what surprised her, and she kind of got it, so she kind of read the room – finally – and she said, “Ok. Oh. Oh? Ok, honey. Um, let me give you some time…uh, would you like a cup of water???” And, I just thought to myself, I need more than a cup of water! But…

Bernie: You need to get my doctor on the phone!

Mae: I need you to get me whatever you think I need right now! But, if water is it, then please get me a cup of water!

Bernie: An oxygen tank!

Mae: So, you know, she leaves the room, and I look at my husband, and he’s smirking! He is smirking…

Everyone: [Laughing]

Emirick: Guys are so good at that…

Mae: And it was just… yeah. Another situation of… you’re just like, you could not have written this any better. Because the complete shock, but then, at the same time, the complete awe of it. Like…

Bernie and Emirick: Right.

Mae: With the first pregnancy, I had the doctors telling me, “You’re never going to be able to conceive again…”

Bernie: Wooow…

Emirick: What an interesting story! Like, from beginning, to end, like, going around to all this! And I know, like, you went through a lot of grief, and it was difficult, and still, you know, it’s still somewhat difficult, but… And then, like, hearing people to like, cheer you up, putting you on their timeline, I loved the advice you gave, but I can’t help but just notice and realize the amazing blessings in your life, you know?

Bernie: Mmmhm.

Emirick: Just a house full of laundry, laughs, meltdowns, uh… music in the background! You know? All of that background noise! Those are like evidence of all of those blessings and love in your life. So, I just want to say thank you so much for sharing this story, because it just has brightened my day! I’ll be honest, I wasn’t having the best day today, but like, just hearing your story took me on a rollercoaster of emotions… and it is leaving me on a high!

Bernie: Yes!

Mae: This is my life!

Emirick: Listening to your son just sing about whatever in the background? Loving that! But um, really, the education I got today from sharing the best way to help someone grieve. I [didn’t] know that. Like, I’m guilty of those things that we were talking about earlier. You know? Trying to put someone on my timeline, or trying to like just tell them, “It’s going to be ok.” You know? Without really thinking of how that affects that person. So, the tips you gave us today are so helpful in helping us love each other better. You know what I mean? So, thank you for that.

Bernie: I agree. And even though you experienced all that pain, you can truly see… and hear! How blessed you are!

Everyone: [Laughing] Yes…

Bernie: It’s just, you know, it’s going to take time. With everything, it’s just going to take time, and you know, girl, we’re here for you. I hope you know that. And Mae, thank you, again, for sharing your story. We appreciate that. Now, let’s hear some advice coming from the Bible about how we should look at grief with the minister of the gospel, Brother Jeff De Guia.

Brother Jeff: Experiencing the loss of a loved one is devastating and while time heals the pain, so do the words from the Bible. What does the Bible say about grief and how we can overcome this type of pain?

We’ll read Lamentations 3:28-33 & 25-26: “When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The ‘worst’ is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: … GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD.” (The Message)

Experiencing grief is something that can really happen to us, inasmuch as we are not perfect or absolute beings—we have many limitations. However, according to the Bible when we go through grief we should not remain in grief forever. What’s the proof? The Bible says, “When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer.”

So in dealing with grief, if we want to overcome it, an important initial step is to calm down and pray; talk to God. We can always count on the facts that (1) God does not take pleasure in making life hard for us, (2) that His love is immense, and (3) that if He works severely, He also works tenderly. Therefore, even if God may have allowed us to go through trouble or grief, we can count on God to also be the One to help us overcome it.

If we’re going through something, then all the more we need to worship; all the more we need to look for God, because He’s the only One who can help us and save us. No one else can outdo God in giving us the joy, peace and comfort that we need as we sojourn through this life.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the faith and family podcast. I’m Brother Jeff De Guia and I hope you all stay safe.

Benefits of Putting God First in Marriage

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All of us want our marriages to be happy, fulfilled, and blessed. Christine and Marc, newlyweds from Australia, share how putting God first has benefitted their lives and their marriage.

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Benefits of Putting God First in Marriage

[Show opens]

Myrtle Alegado:

When you get married as newlyweds, you have goals, right, that you want to accomplish, whether they be advancing in your career or buying a home, traveling or even starting a family. In this episode, we’re going to talk to a newlywed couple who has seen the benefits of putting God first in their marriage.

Welcome to Happy Life, a podcast brought to you by INC Media that aims to help newlyweds navigate through the first years of marriage. I’m Myrtle Alegado and I’ve been married to my husband Paul since 1999.

[Show catchphrase]

Inspiration to make your marriage thrive, you’re listening to Happy Life.

Myrtle Alegado: According to verywellmind.com, a top priority for newlyweds should be keeping the romance alive as mentioned in Dr. Houston’s study. Other than that, during the first year of marriage, couples need to settle many things, including how to allocate and handle money.

On lifehack.org, they said that goals will help your marriage to thrive, and a couple of things to prioritize our financial goals, goals for your relationship as well as family health goals.

The newlyweds I’d like to introduce you all to are Christine and Marc, all the way from Sydney, Australia. Christine is a friend of mine and my colleague at INC Media. Good day, Marc and Christine, how are things in the Land of Oz?

Christine Afenir: Hi, Myrtle.

Marc Afenir: Good day, Myrtle. I’m loving the Aussie accent there. Well done.

Myrtle Alegado: I’m so glad I thought you were going to cringe and say how horrible because, you know, I’m really bad at accents. But I thought I’d give it a shot.

Marc Afenir: Let’s just say that it’s good that you’re not recording video right now.

Myrtle Alegado: I cry, I cry. Well, how are you both doing? You know, down there, I think the weather is opposite from here in North America. Right?

Marc Afenir: It is actually. It’s winter here right now. So you know everything in Australia being upside down compared to the northern hemisphere. So whatever you have, we have in reverse so yeah, but we’re doing well. And we’re keeping warm during lockdown so.

Myrtle Alegado: Oh, still in lockdown. Wow. Okay. Well, glad to hear you’re doing well. For those who don’t know you, would you mind sharing a little bit about how you two met?

Christine Avenir: So, funny story. We actually met at the KADIWA formal, a Church event that was happening in London in 2008. We actually didn’t interact with each other. We were there with kind of our own friends. And yeah, Marc traveled all the way from Australia to be there as well.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, that was also a very last minute trip for me. So I was working full time at an ad agency and kind of asked my boss who was also from the UK. And I think that kind of helped me get over the line to get my leave approved. But I told her I was going to London for about a week.

And we met there, but we didn’t really talk. So that was like she said back in 2008. So, it was close to a decade later that we started talking to each other. Like we’ve heard of each other, because we’ve worked in media. So Christine’s been in INC Media since I think 2011 and I started around that time helping the bureau here in Sydney. She was in San Francisco. I’ve heard her name thrown around, be it she was a producer for some shows. But it wasn’t until, like, 2017 that we started messaging each other.

Myrtle Alegado: Did you actually meet at that formal or you just found out later that you were both there at the same time?

Marc Afenir: So for Christine, she kind of knew who were at the table. But I was, I kind of have a very long memory so…

Christine Afenir: Full disclosure, I didn’t know his name. I think I remembered later on, that somebody from Australia was there. There was only one person from Australia there. So when that was mentioned, I was like, oh, that guy. I think we only were conscious of each other’s existence afterwards.

Myrtle Alegado: And I know you kind of touched on it, Christine, but let me just explain that KADIWA is the Christian Family Organization for those 18 [years old] and up who are unmarried inside the Church Of Christ. So the formal in London was organized for that group, which is really neat that they had those kinds of events for the youth to be able to meet each other.

Marc Afenir: Yeah. And you had basically a lot of people from all over Europe. It was a European KADIWA formal but you know, I think…

Christine Afenir: We crashed.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, we crashed. There were people all over the world who found out about it and they thought, oh, cool, great opportunity to be in London and meet all these other single people in the Church, so why not? And even had one crazy Aussie there who traveled 24 hours by plane just to be there for a week.

Myrtle Alegado: That’s how long it takes to fly to London, 24 hours?

Marc Afenir: Oh yeah, a good 24 hours.

Myrtle Alegado: Wow, I had no idea. So Christine, obviously your relationship progressed, and the two of you got married in April of 2019. We heard on what some couples prioritize in their marriage. Can you tell me what it was like to plan your wedding while being across the globe from each other? You know, what was important to you both to put first?

Christine Afenir: I think we really experienced the true definition of long distance. Because usually, long distance like you’re in another state, in the United States, or, you know, a different time zone. He was in a different country, in a different hemisphere. Like it was very hard to find a common time where we were both awake, and conscious to even talk to each other. So to plan a wedding. You know, I have family in the United States, we have family in the Philippines. He has family in Germany, he has family in Australia.

So we were trying to find a place—a place to have the wedding but also, you know, the discussion came to where are we going to go, to live our life as a married couple. But it wasn’t that hard, because he knew that God comes first. And I work for the Church in INC Media. We both wanted to wait for word whether I could continue my duty in Australia. And if that was the case, then we’d move there. But if not, then Marc would move to San Francisco, where INC Media Headquarters is. I think it was a difficult conversation, but it was an easy conversation, because we both knew that God came first. I’m very happy that he didn’t make it any harder than it had to be.

Marc Afenir: I think that’s the constant in our relationship. It’s your guiding light when you come to some very, very difficult decisions. When you look at mine and Christine’s case, there’s a lot of things that we needed to decide on, you know. I had a career going on here in Sydney. So, do we move to San Francisco, or do we stay here in Sydney, or things like that. Even the wedding, at some point we even decided to have it at San Francisco or even Germany, because our family was all over the world. Like I mentioned before, when you have that guiding light, when you’re both reliant on how God steers you, it makes things easier.

Christine Afenir: Oh yeah, the answers are there.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, the answers are there for you. You really do have to trust the process. To any ordinary person, this might look difficult, but when you have God on your side, when you put God as the priority, and when you have that trust, then things fall into place. It was remarkable seeing things just fall into place.

Myrtle Alegado: So you said when you have that guiding light, everything else, you know, flows and kind of comes easily after that. So how did you put your trust in God with this experience with making your decisions and where you were going to move to and where you were even going to have the wedding?

Marc Afenir: Well, most importantly, in order to have that guidance by God, you need to ask God through prayer. Members of the Church Of Christ, we’re encouraged to pray and to have that relationship with God.

Just even at the start of our relationship, I suggested to Christine, “Okay, look, there’s just a lot of things that we need to figure out right now. How about we hold devotional prayers together?” So, basically just having those devotional prayers, it’s a challenge for us, because normally you’d be together physically and be inside the place of worship, you know, in a chapel, you’re kneeling down and you’re praying together. But for us, the challenge was that, you know, we’re like, what 7000 kilometers apart, and there’s also the time zone difference.

Myrtle Alegado: And how many hours was that time difference between Sydney and San Francisco?

Marc Afenir: So how many hours is that? Like okay so…

Christine Afenir: I think seventeen.

Marc Afenir: So Christine would be finishing up her workday, and I would be starting mine. So I’d be scrambling to get to work. So yeah, we just had to come up with a schedule that suited us. So one of us would be bleary eyed, you know, waking really early in the morning.

Christine Afenir: I lost a lot of sleep at the beginning of our relationship. I think both of us did.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, we really wanted to make it work. I think that if we didn’t have these devotional prayers, we’d just be left just trying to figure things out for ourselves, and that would have been extremely difficult.

Christine Afenir: We hear about a lot of, like, long distance relationships where they don’t last and a lot of people don’t recommend it. But I think when Marc, early on when we were talking, when he suggested the devotional prayer, I was actually surprised—pleasantly surprised. Like, “Oh, okay!” Because it’s a big commitment, especially for our time difference. But it also let me know, like, he was serious. This wasn’t just, let’s just talk and see where it goes. I think he wanted it to go somewhere. So that was nice.

Myrtle Alegado: So Marc I know when we actually chatted previously, we were talking about how similarly your childhood mimicked Christine’s. Can you talk a little bit more about that?

Marc Afenir: Sure. So, our childhoods were remarkably similar. So just in terms of how our parents moved to another country, and also how our parents were officers in the Church Of Christ. So growing up, that’s always been an important, an integral, part of our families. The way that we were raised, it’s always been about putting duty first in the Church.

Remarkably, both our fathers were head deacons in the Church. So head deacons being, I suppose, leaders in their respective local [congregation], the leaders in the Church, elders in the Church who would help [in] looking after their respective locals. And even that, in itself, is incredibly similar. You know, Christine’s dad was a head deacon for a local that just started, so they were a pioneer family. It was the same as mine. From a very early age, Christine growing up in New Jersey and me in Sydney, you know half a world apart, we were experiencing pretty much the same thing, you know, at the same age.

Christine Afenir: And the more we talked, the more we got to know each other. You know, we would ask how we grew up and being in the same Church, even though we were in different countries and different hemispheres, you know, there [were] the same activities. So we would talk about choir days, where the whole entire local congregation would dress up and perform a song. And we even performed some of the same songs.

And we experienced the same things in the Church Of Christ. Like we were both Children’s Worship Service officers, or what people call Sunday school, so we were leading the children. So we had the same, I want to say passions but the same, concern.

Marc Afenir: What’s great about it is that our values were aligned. We agreed on certain things, and we knew for a fact that if we were to raise a family we would want to raise them in a very similar fashion.

Myrtle Alegado: Well, it’s so awesome that Marc did say that you had, you know, such similar values. Finding somebody who has the same values as you, that just comforts you, to find that person that, you know, I guess was meant for you. So that’s really, really awesome.

So I’m gonna go back to you, Christine. You and I knew each other when we both lived in Toronto, I’m thinking around 2005 maybe, and I remember when you were going to school there. Where did life take you, you know, after you left Canada?

Christine Afenir: When we met, I was accepted into Sheridan College’s program: Advanced Television and Film. So that was fun. That was my first long stay in Canada. I had gotten my bachelor’s in Film Studies at the Barnard College of Columbia University in New York. And I wanted to upskill so I can, you know, further my career. After Canada, after Sheridan College, I went back home looking for jobs.

And my mom and dad really supported me in my dream in this, you know, to do film, to be in the industry. And she was pulling connections. She was just like, “Oh, you know, I know someone in the Philippines whose son is a director. I think you should go there and intern.” So after Canada, I ended up in the Philippines. Yeah, I was shadowing a director, I think in one of the, one of his shows that they were shooting. But there was a lot of downtime, and I’m just not the type to just sit around. It’s different if you’re there for vacation, but I was not there for a vacation. So I kind of started feeling guilty. So I messaged Sister Aliw from, back then it was INCTV Bureau, but now INC Media, and I just asked, “Is there any way I can volunteer and help in the TV production here for the Church?” Because I was also helping in New Jersey, so I just wanted to see if I could do that in the Philippines. And so I was able to help. I interned, I volunteered and I kind of followed around the team that was filming for one of the shows.

And I just, I fell in love with it. It was just so nice to kind of merge my love for God and my passion for film and creating content. When I returned back to America, when I returned back to New Jersey, it was great timing because Brother Eduardo [V. Manalo-INC Executive Minister] was doing his first pastoral visit in the United States. And so the team from INC Media, from headquarters, was also filming. I got to meet Sister Aliw again and the team, and I asked them, “is there a way I can help here, help in the United States [in] the Church media arm?” And I thought I was going to wait for a couple years for an answer, but it came within two months. I was like, “Oh, okay, so.”

And that was a big move. I had a devotional prayer, I had to pray because that would be me picking up my life from New Jersey and moving to California. Like, I didn’t know where I was going to stay, I didn’t know, you know, where I was gonna live, I didn’t know how this was going to work—so I just prayed. And I said, “God, if this is for me, things will fall into place.” I’ll know how to get there to be able to work with INC Media there in California.

And sure enough, I was able to get an affordable ticket to go to California. One of my friends hooked me up. They called me and they were like, “Oh, you’re going to stay with this person.” So I already had a place to stay. So things were just falling into place and I was just like, “Okay!”

Myrtle Alegado: Yeah, sounds like it!

Christine Afenir: So I was like, “Okay, I guess God’s telling me to go.”

Myrtle Alegado: So, your mom’s plans for you to become the big time director kind of paved the way for God’s plans for you to work in the media arm of the Church.

Christine Afenir: She was very surprised when I came back from the Philippines and that’s what I said I was planning to do.

Myrtle Alegado: Yeah well, you know, when they say God’s plans are the best plans, so sometimes we don’t even know what the plans are. And we just kind of go along with what the journey is, right, that He lays out for us, that He’s steering us in. What an awesome story though.

But I’d like to hear more on what the Bible has to say about this topic. Just how can we benefit in our lives by putting God first? Let’s welcome back Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.

Hi there, Brother Felmar, thanks for being here with us again on Happy Life.

Brother Felmar: Hello, everybody. Great to be back here on Happy Life with all of you. Let’s get right into it. So how do we benefit when we put the Lord God first in our life? Let’s read what the Bible says here in the Book of Psalms, chapter 37, verses 4 to 7, and we’ll quote it from the Good News Bible.

Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the LORD; trust in him and he will help you; he will make your righteousness shine like the noonday sun. Be patient and wait for the LORD to act; don’t be worried about those who prosper or those who succeed in their evil plans.

[Psalms 37:4-7 Good News Bible]

Brother Felmar: Praise be to the Lord God that Marc and Christine are wonderful examples of putting God first in their life. We heard earlier from their experiences that in their education, work, personal commitments, during their courtship, and even more so now that they are married, God has always been at the center of their life and God has always been their priority. The result? God has rewarded them with their “heart’s desire,” like the Bible says. Or as Christine put it earlier, everything fell into place.

However, we should understand that making God our priority does not mean that life will be without challenges. That’s why the Bible clearly taught in the verses we read, “Be patient and wait for the LORD to act.”

So what does this mean? It means that there are times we will need to be patient, and we will really need to wait for God to set things in motion for us and answer our prayers completely. Sometimes the full answer to our prayers may not be meant to take place in a week’s time, or a month’s time, or even several years. And all that waiting is very challenging! Yet, what did the Bible tell us? “Be patient and wait for the LORD to act.” Therefore, putting God first also means putting His plan above ours—waiting for Him to act for us, instead of us, because of our impatience, taking things into our own hands. Remember the Bible’s guarantee: if we remain patient God will act for us.

What else does putting God first entail? The Bible mentioned, “don’t be worried about those who prosper or those who succeed in their evil plans.” So even if all the while we are living righteously, putting God first, waiting for Him to answer our prayers, and there will be others around us who are progressing—and to them it looks as if we are not progressing—still we must maintain God as our priority. So, not giving up on our duties in the Church; continuing devotedly in worship service; in giving our generous offerings; in loving the brotherhood; continuing in unity with the Church Administration in all Church activities, especially in sharing our faith or missionary work.

We must not turn our back on these and the rest of God’s commandments that we uphold in the Church Of Christ, even when God has not yet fully answered our prayers. Why? Because then, we will have proven that God truly is our priority and happiness, no matter what. Because, it is not just the answer to our prayers that makes us happy but it is God Himself and serving Him—that is our true happiness.

When we live this way, what is the sure promise that will be fulfilled in our life? The Bible stated,

“Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the LORD; trust in him and he will help you; he will make your righteousness shine like the noonday sun.”

Myrtle Alegado: I’m not sure how many newlywed couples consciously decide to put God at the center of their lives, but this wonderful biblical advice has definitely provided clarity. We really appreciate you joining us again, Brother Felmar, here on Happy Life.

Brother Felmar: Thank you again for having me, Myrtle, and to the whole Happy Life team. God bless to all the married couples.

Myrtle Alegado: Alright, so in the last year, Marc and Christine, can you share how you have been blessed by God, especially in this time of pandemic, by putting Him first?

Marc Afenir: Well, in the past year, I think a lot of people have experienced hard times during the pandemic. We were affected ourselves. So, I just started a role at a company, and I work in the tech sector, so things can be volatile even during good times. But when it comes to tough times it compounds, you know, how volatile it is.

But with a pandemic, I just started a new role in February 2020. And, you know, things were going well. Three weeks into this new role we all went into lockdown. This is when, you know, Coronavirus hit the world hard. Yeah, I was in that role for about six months. Initially, they weren’t looking at laying anyone off, but unfortunately I found myself being let go by the company. So being one of the newer hires, unfortunately, I was one of the low hanging fruits, so I was let go. Six months later and I found myself having to find a new job. It was difficult, because in the back of my mind I thought, you know, Christine and I just got married. We were trying to get ourselves settled in, and also we didn’t have that safety net of family, because my family’s back in the local of St. George. And we moved to an area where we would be starting in a new local, and this new local needed new officers. I was one of the younger deacons or officers to look after the little local.

And funnily enough, I wasn’t expecting to follow my dad’s footsteps too soon, but I became a head deacon in that local as well. And what kind of played in the back of my mind was because, you know, a head deacon in a local is someone who is relied upon to be very involved in the local’s day-to-day dealings. And from my experience as well and not having a job, I was wondering how am I going to do this? But I didn’t fret, I wasn’t frustrated or depressed, because I knew that there’s a reason why I’m finding myself in this situation. I just didn’t think that God was going to give me more responsibilities in the Church and, you know, not be able to fulfill that. So, I knew there was something very good coming around the corner. And sure enough, like we did, you know, when we were having that long distance relationship, Christine and I once again held devotional prayers, but this is when we were still able to go to the place of worship.

And I can remember one particular afternoon, when we left the place of worship, you know. It was straight after the devotional prayer that we had. I got a call from a recruiter, and that recruiter was a little coy at first, because she was asking me all sorts of questions that would vet my qualifications, etc. When she was satisfied, she revealed to me which company it was. And I was very, very surprised, because it was a well known tech company, actually, that everyone, like, if I mentioned the name, everyone would know which company it is. And I’ve applied to this company before, and I’ve never been successful at it. So all that time, I knew that God was going to give me something, and when He did give it to me it was something pretty awesome.

Myrtle Alegado: It was something.

Marc Afenir: Yeah! It’s easy to kind of look at that situation that we were in and really fret. But when you kind of look at how God’s sort of aligning things for you, then you understand that there’s better things around the corner.

Myrtle Alegado: It’s really great that you showed that you did put your full trust and faith in Him. So, Christine, how about you? Do you have a story for us?

Christine Afenir: So this pandemic, I mean, it’s been really tough on a lot of people. Yeah we feel God’s blessings every day. It’s actually really nice to be newly married and in a pandemic, just because you just have more time with each other. It’s kind of like an extended honeymoon. That’s what we call it. I think there’s a hashtag like honeymoon lockdown or lockdown honeymoon.

Myrtle Alegado: Oh really?

Christine Afenir: Something like that. But yeah, no, I think a lot of people I guess were starting their newly married life, but in a pandemic. So, I can’t complain. I mean, we have more time together, able to get to know each other better. As you know, there’s a lot of adjusting when you’re married. And we’re also really thankful that we still get to also worship, even go to worship service even though it is a lockdown. We get to do that together and we get to help the local congregation together as well, even in this lockdown. So, I mean, I really can’t complain, to be honest. We feel very blessed, every day, even in this pandemic.

Marc Afenir: We didn’t have a proper honeymoon, Christine and I, when we got married. So, having this extended time in lockdown kind of let us just do that. And we still get to explore different things about each other, not just home life, but we occasionally, you know, go for walks. And it really does feel like you have a partner or a teammate for life. Christine and myself, being officers in the Church, we feel like, you know, we’re partners in almost every aspect of our lives, so it’s a wonderful situation to be in. And I can’t complain, either. I love being around Christine, and I wouldn’t want to spend lockdown with anyone else.

Christine Afenir: He can’t escape anyway, so. Just kidding.

Being able to perform my duties at INC Media here in Sydney, Australia, there are sacrifices. Even then, you know, God has blessed us and we have what we need. And you know, like what Marc shared, that God does find ways to provide. We really can’t complain, to be honest.

Myrtle Alegado: Definitely sounds like you are building your future together and doing it with God’s help and His blessings, and that’s really heartwarming to hear. So what would your advice be to those, you know, who are still kind of looking for “the one” or, you know, their future spouse?

Christine Afenir: I think a lot of young people, or a lot of single people, think that they have to do something to change themselves, and to make themselves more appealing to, you know, someone else. But what I’ve done, when I was ready to get married and find the one, was to have devotional prayer about it first, of course, to bring myself closer to God, because He’s the One who’s going to give you that one. So I knew that this person had to come from God. And so I just made sure to just be more active in Church Of Christ activities, to just do more of what God wanted, and to just make sure that I was pleasing to Him so that my prayers would be heard. That’s what we are taught in the worship service, right, what’s written in the Bible.

Like what Brother Felmar read from the Bible, “Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire.” And that’s what I tried to do. I tried to just involve myself in everything that God wanted me to do—and He gave me my heart’s desire, and he’s sitting right next to me.

Marc Afenir: I’m turning into mush. Yeah, look, my advice is to really trust God’s plan for you. And I’m the type of person that analyzes things and plans and sometimes even overthinks, but at the end of the day, and I’ve witnessed this time and time again, especially during these past few years that Christine and I have been figuring things out, that verse that Brother Felmar read, you know, “trust in him and he will help you”, that couldn’t be truer. For someone who puts all their faith, all their trust, in God—God’s plan is the best plan.

So, when you get that answer from God, and you trust what He’s doing for you, what He’s giving you, then you can only be successful. So, I think my advice to all those people who are looking to get married out there, or are newlyweds, just make sure that your relationship is right with God. So always consult God first through your devotional prayers, and for sure, God will lead you to the relationship that He wants for you.

Myrtle Alegado: A hundred percent, that’s such great advice, Marc. I just want to thank you both so much for sharing how your faith and your prayers have guided your lives prior to marriage and, even more so, now as husband and wife.

Christine Afenir: Thanks, Myrtle.

Marc Afenir: It’s a pleasure, Myrtle. Thank you so much.

Christine Afenir: Thanks, Happy Life team.

Myrtle Alegado: Stay warm out there in Sydney.

Marc Afenir: Take care.

Myrtle Alegado: Well, we hope that all the advice that’s been given and shared today, especially the teachings from the Bible, have really demonstrated how always putting God first—in every situation—is beneficial in our lives. If we give God first place in our lives, blessings will surely flow.

And that’s all we have for today. To learn more about Christian relationships, please visit incmedia.org. And if you’d like to say hi or send us a question, please visit our Instagram account @happylife.podcast. Please also remember to share our podcast with your family and friends and all the newlyweds that you know. Thank you from all of us here on the Happy Life team. We’re so glad you joined us today and hope we’ve all been reminded about the blessing of marriage.

[Show closes]

Learning There’s A Right Way to Worship God

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Ron’s mother was a devout Catholic. But Ron couldn’t understand why she would pray to the Virgin Mary when the Bible prohibited the worship of idols.

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“You shall have no other gods before ‘Me.
“You shall not make for yourself a carved image-
any likeness of anything that is in heaven above,
or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water
Under the earth…”
[Exodus 20:3-4 New King James Version]

Ron Espanto: I remember watching the The Ten Commandments. They talked about the Laws of God, the Ten Commandments. And one of them, you shall not worship any other God or not make any idols. That always stood out-the worship of idols. That’s what made me feel that something’s not right with what we’re doing. I was already asking that in my head, “What is the truth? There must be something true out there.”

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STORIES of FAITH

I’m Ron Espanto, I’m 49 years old. And I’m currently living in Waipahu, Hawaii. I grew up in a neighborhood in Kalihi [Hawai’i]. It’s basically for low-income people. Growing up there, back in the 1970s, and 1980s, it was pretty rough. There was a lot of drug use in that place, a lot of illegal activities that people were doing back in those days. Both of my parents are Filipino. My dad came here, maybe late 1950s, early 1960s. My parents, they always taught us to do the right things. We came from a dominant Catholic family.

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Ron Espanto
Former Catholic

I was born Catholic. They also made it important that we always recognize God, you know, to serve God. Although my parents were devout Catholics, you know, we didn’t go to church on a regular basis. Probably just on important dates, like for instance, Christmas or Good Friday. Actually in our home, we had a statue of the so-called Virgin Mary. It was about 15 inches tall. My mom would light candles at night or on a certain occasion.

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“Something’s Not Right”

While we were growing up, the thing that always got to me was the worship of idols. That’s what made me feel that, you know, something’s not right with what we’re doing. I remember watching The Ten Commandments. They talked about the Laws of God, the Ten Commandments. And one of them, you shall not worship any other God or not make any idols. That always stood out, growing up as Catholic. Because, when we did go to church, we would literally see the statues. When I would ask my mom why is she praying to this so-called Virgin Mary or the so-called image of the Lord Jesus Christ, she would always tell me that that’s what she was taught. She would always just say, “Oh, you know, this is our belief.” We would go to the Catholic [chapel]. There’s so many things that they would do. Rituals, if I may say, that I just felt that it was not necessary.

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“I Know Deep Down…It Was Wrong”

I have relatives that are members of the Church Of Christ. They would always invite us to attend their worship services, to the Church gatherings. Again, I wasn’t looking for that. After high school, I decided to just go to work. So I started off as a dishwasher. Worked my way up, prep cook, all the way to lead cook. I was 19, I think, when I was already running the kitchen, and it was busy. I felt pretty good. Every two weeks. you get your paycheck. Then you go out, you hang out with your friends, have fun. We would go out drinking. I was introduced to, like, all different types of vices.

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Ron Espanto
Former Catholic

Everybody was doing some type of drug, whether it’s they were snorting coke, they’re smoking crystal meth, smoking weed. And I got caught into that. I know, deep down in my heart, that was just wrong. You’d feel good for a little while. But then, it got to a point where it just started to…get out of hand.

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Tragedy Hits Home

In 1991, my mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer. It spread throughout her body. When she was diagnosed with the cancer, she told me to take her to this house of this so-called “healer.” I noticed all [these] little statues, like Virgin Mary, so-called Lord Jesus Christ statue. So, I asked my mom, you know, “What are we doing here?” And she said, “He’s gonna pray for me.” “This is where I can get healed.” Out of respect for my mom and because I love her, I told her, “Okay, well, just do what you need to do.” Still, her condition never improved, you know, she’s getting worse by the day. There was that one time she was praying, she was praying to the Virgin Mary statue that we had in our house. That’s when I told her, “Why are you doing that? Why are you praying to one statue?” “The one that you’re supposed to be praying to is to God. Not to these idols, not to these statues.” And that’s when she got really upset, she was really mad. My mom was 56 when she passed. I was devastated.

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“What Is The Truth?”

I was mad at God, and I asked God why He did this. I also asked, from God, “What is the truth, then?” Just before October of 1992, that’s when my cousin invited me to attend one of the Bible Expositions of the Church Of Christ. And that’s what I told him, I said, “You know, I believe in God, you know. I don’t, I don’t have to…go to any church to serve God. I could just serve God, you know, how I want.” I already was denouncing the Catholic faith, even before my mom passed away. I was already asking that in my head, “What is the truth? There must be something true out there.” And when I decided to undergo the Bible studies inside the Church Of Christ, the minister told me, “If you don’t believe what I’m saying, bring your Bible. I will use the Bible that you bring to teach you then.” So I did, I had, I think a King James Version. And throughout my Bible study, aside from the other versions that [were] there, he used my Bible. He even highlighted the verses. They would first tell you what the Bible is about, because that’s our basis right there-why we believe in God. And then from there, everything just clicks into place: Why do we believe in the Messenger of God? Why do we believe that Jesus Christ is not God, but He is a man? Why [should we not] worship idols? All my beliefs that I had in the past [were] being torn down already, [were] being ripped apart. And what was being built up…were the true words of God, in my heart.

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Things I Had To Let Go Of

While I was still undergoing Bible studies, attending the worship services inside the Church Of Christ, I’m not yet baptized, there are things that…I had to let go of, and it was kind of difficult, at first. Even the vices that I did [weren’t] easy to let go…because the transition is not automatic. There were times when I wouldn’t attend the worship services. Or I missed a worship service on purpose, I felt bad about it. I remember one of the head deacons telling me, [he] said, “Oh, you know, Brother, you’re about to get baptized, but you’re missing worship services.” That’s when I said to myself, “I’m not going to miss worship service again. I want to complete what I started. I want to become a member of the Church Of Christ.”

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“God’s Mercy”

Now that I’m in the Church Of Christ for so many years now, with God’s mercy, I don’t have [any] regret. Not even one ounce of regret.

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Ron Espanto
Joined the Church Of Christ in 1993

To me, the church is my life. I’ve been married for almost 23 years now, with God’s mercy. I have a loving wife, loving family, loving children-God fearing. The way I look at it now, I could’ve gone a different route, but knowing that…God called us, God called me to be inside the Church, really, this is a true blessing coming from God.

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“I Want To Serve God”

I would always say to myself, “I want to be a member because I want to be saved,” I never said before, “I want to be a member because I want to serve God.” But now that I’m in the Church for these many years, that is my mentality-that I’m a member of the Church Of Christ to serve God. When I look back at my life, and look at all the things that I’ve experienced, I always thank God because He allowed me to have that knowledge, that wisdom, that enlightenment. The enlightening moment is when you get to know the true God. I’m just glad that I was able to come to that knowledge of truth that I received inside the Church Of Christ.

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STORIES of FAITH

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