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What Are Our Roles in Marriage?

A viewer asks “What role does the man play in the family?” What are the roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife in a Christian marriage?


Husband and Wife Roles and Responsibilities

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Brother Phillip Velasquez: Hello, I’m Brother Phillip Velazquez, and thank you for joining us again, on another episode of That’s in the Bible, where your questions are answered straight from this: the Holy Scriptures. If you remember on our last episode, we discussed the importance of the commandments of God in governing how the husband and wife treat each other for them to live a happy and peaceful life. The question we’ll be answering today is related to just that.

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Question: Hi, my name is Rhonda Brown, and I’m from Longview, Texas. And I would like to know, what role does the man play in the family? 

Rhonda Brown

Longview, Texas

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Brother Philip: Thanks for that question, Rhonda. In our last episode, we were taught that God’s law should dictate how husband and wife treat each other. The same goes for what the roles are for husband and wife in their respective families. 

Responsibilities of a Christian husband

Brother Philip: So, according to the Bible, what is a primary role of the husband or father to his family? We can read the answer in Ephesians 4:28. These are the words of God through His Apostle Paul:

He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. 

[Ephesians 4:28 New International Version]

Brother Philip: If he is well and able, he must work to provide for the needs of his family. Under normal circumstances, God intended that the husband or the father, being the head of the household, be the main provider or breadwinner in a family. But in rare incidences, it can be the mother if the father is no longer around. 

Take note, the Bible also teaches that he must earn an honest living, meaning it mustn’t go against any law of the land, especially any law of our Almighty God. 

Now, how dedicated should the head of the household be in providing for the needs of his family? Let’s get the answer from Proverbs 10:4. These are the words of God:

Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.

[Proverbs 10:4 New International Version]

Brother Philip: How dedicated must the head of the family or head of the household be in providing for the needs of his family? He must be diligent or hardworking. Under all circumstances, it is against God’s command for any man to be found lazy—or worse still—neglectful of his responsibilities. Much more so, if he already has a family that depends on him for support. 

In the eyes of our Almighty God, how evil is it for the head of the household to neglect his obligation in providing for his family? Let’s get the answer from I Timothy 5:8. This is what we’re taught by Apostle Paul:

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

[I Timothy 5:8 New King James Version]

Brother Philip: If the head of the household neglects his family, then he is worse than an unbeliever, according to what we read. In the sight of our Almighty God, he is not a true Christian because he has denied the faith. So you see, dear friends, the role of the head of the household is so important. And that’s why before one chooses to enter married life and begin a family, he has to be sure he is able to fulfill all of his responsibilities as set forth by our Almighty God. 

The role of a Christian woman in marriage

Brother Philip:  Now, since we’re on the topic, we might as well go into the role of the woman or the wife in the family. According to God’s design, what is the role of the wife? Let’s read the answer in Titus 2:4-5. This is what the Holy Scriptures teach all of us:

Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children. The younger women must control themselves. They must be pure. They must take good care of their homes. They must be kind. They must follow the lead of their husbands. Then no one will be able to speak evil things against God’s word. 

[Titus 2:4-5 New International Reader’s Version]

Brother Philip: God expects wives or mothers to administer the home well. May no one make the mistake of diminishing the importance of this special role, since its successful implementation has far-reaching effects, not only in the home but also in our society as a whole. 

And parents, especially the wife or mother, has the primary duty to attend to these concerns at home. What else is the vital role of the wife or mother to her family? Let’s get the answer from Proverbs 31: 27-29:

She watches over her family and never wastes her time. Her children speak well of her. Her husband also praises her, saying, “There are many fine women, but you are better than all of them.”

[Proverbs 31: 27-29 New Century Version]

Brother Philip: The wife or mother supervises her family well. She makes sure that virtues are being developed in her children by giving them responsibilities to fulfill and rules to follow in the home. She is always aware of her children’s whereabouts and whom they are with. And if ever she so chooses, and the husband agrees, that she gets a job in order to help augment the family income, well, they should not in any way hinder her from fulfilling her primary task of looking after the welfare of her family at home. 

What is strictly prohibited so that wives or mothers will be able to perform their roles well? Let’s read I Timothy 5: 13. This is what we are taught by the apostle Paul:

And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 

[I Timothy 5:13 New King James Version]

Brother Philip: Just as it is prohibited for the husband to neglect his duty to provide for the family, it is also prohibited for the wife to be lazy in administering the home. What else? The Bible says they should not be busybodies or gossips. Instead of focusing on the lives or homes of others, she first must focus on the condition of her own home. 

But above all, what is the ultimate role of both the husband and the wife to their family? Let’s get the answer from Joshua  24:15:

And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD

[Joshua 24:15 New King James Version]

Brother Philip: What is the ultimate role of both the husband and the wife to their family? To lead their entire family in serving our Almighty God; to bring up their children to be faithful and obedient servants of God. And the best way to instill these most admirable qualities is by parents being the best examples to their children in being true Christians by upholding God’s commands at all times in their lives. 

Well, that’s all we have time for [in] this episode. We hope that you’ll tune in next time where we will be answering more of your questions from the Holy Scriptures. We encourage you to please write in with your questions. You can email them to this address. 

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Brother Philip: Thanks for watching! I’m Brother Phillip Velasquez and we will see you next time.


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What Are Our Roles in Marriage?