What are the Roles of the Husband and Wife?

That’s in the Bible

What are the roles of the husband and wife?

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: Are you eager to find a spouse that will be your partner throughout your life? And when you find that special someone, how can you make sure that your happiness and deep love for one another will not only last, but will always grow stronger?

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BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: I’m Bob Pellien and welcome to the program That’s in the Bible. We often receive questions asking such things as “What are the roles of the husband and the wife in a successful marriage?” Or “What are the keys to a successful marriage?” Or people are looking for tips on how to prepare for marriage as a Christian. And these are very important questions to ask, especially in our time, right, where separation and divorce is at an all time high. In fact, this is what was asked by Rhonda Brown. “ I would like to know what role does the man play in the family?”

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: And dear friends we received another question of similar nature in an email from Kyma Moreira from London, who asked, “Should men dictate how women should live?” In order to tackle this topic, let’s set out to answer these related questions, the first of which is:

1. Who instituted marriage?
2. What must rule over the man and woman who enter marriage?
3. What are the roles of the husband?
4. What are the roles of the wife?

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN:  All right, dear friends, so to start this important discussion, we asked who instituted marriage? When God created the first man and woman, what was the first thing God did for them? We turn to the Bible and begin answering all of these questions from the Holy Scriptures.  We turn to the very first book of the Bible, which is of course, the Book of Genesis. And we turn to Genesis one, we’ll read verses 27 and 28, wherein it says this:

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 1:27-28 New King James Version

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: So God blessed them. Dear friends, this was the first marriage. So it was God who instituted the union between man and woman. He blessed them first, then sent them out to populate the earth. Therefore, marriage was established by God. And since there’s no culture or government that can claim to have invented or came up with the idea of marriage, no one has the authority then to redefine what it means. And to address Kyma’s question, once married, what rules over the couple? Is it the man who dictates to the wife what should be done? Is it the wife who dictates to the man what should or should not be done? Nowadays, some have the belief that, you know, whoever of the couple earns more money, he or she is the one who has the right to rule over the other. Or in some households, it’s simply the one who has the stronger, or let’s say, the more dominant personality who ends up ruling the household. So Kyma’s question, who should rule the man or the woman? What, dear friends, must rule over the man and woman who enter marriage? Answer of the Holy Bible: we turn to the book of Romans written by the Apostle Paul, Romans 7:2, which reads:

For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him.

Romans 7:2  New International Version

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: Dear friends, what rules over them is also what binds them together as one. That is the laws of God pertaining to married couples. That’s what has to rule over both the man and the woman: God’s laws. And those laws define also the roles of the husband and the roles of the wife. So let’s start out then asking, what are the roles of the husband? How should he behave? The Bible gives answer to that as well. So we turn to the Book of Ephesians, chapter five, verse 25, which reads:

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

Ephesians 5:25  Good News Translation

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: Husbands, we are to love our wife in the way Jesus loves the church. He was willing to give his life for the church. That’s how much he loves the church. How else does the Bible describe the love that a husband should have for his wife? The Bible goes on to say in verse 28 and 29 of the same chapter, it reads this way:

Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church;

Ephesians 5:28-29  Good News Translation

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: So part of our expression of love for our wife must include, then, treating them with great care when they have needs. Not only expecting to be treated with great care, when we have needs. Does the Bible also, dear friends, further describe how couples even should speak to each other? You know, effective communication is one of the keys to a successful marriage. So what advice does the Bible give about communication? Can we come home and treat our wife harshly just because, let’s say, maybe we we had a hard day. We had a very stressful day. Answer of the Bible:  Colossians 3:19 reads this way:

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:19 Good News Translation

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: Husbands must realize God prohibits speaking harshly, so we should be gentle and loving in how we treat our spouse. Are there consequences if we don’t? If we don’t communicate with each other respectfully? There are consequences, dear friends. Apostle Peter spoke of them how? 1st Peter, chapter three, verse seven says:

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with

understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.

1 Peter 3:7 New Living Translation 1996

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: Yes, if we mistreat our spouse, even our prayer would be hindered. Husbands must realize that their wife is an equal partner with them. And wives should also be treated respectfully. If we don’t treat them properly, God made very clear: even our prayers to Him would be hindered. To the youth that may be searching for a spouse, find a partner that will serve God side by side with you in your marriage. Someone whose prayers won’t be hindered due to their behavior or misbehavior. Right? What’s also the primary role of the husband towards his wife and his household? Again, we turn to the Bible for answers to all these questions, and we turn to 1 Timothy 5. And the following is recorded in verse eight:

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

1 Timothy 5:8 New King James Version

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: So the husband is responsible to provide for the needs of the household and therefore must go out and work honestly so as to be a good provider for the family. Dear friends, what are the roles of the wife? What are God’s laws to the wife? We turn to the Bible once again. Titus, records the following this time, Titus chapter two. We’re going to read verse four and five. It says:

in order to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be good housewives who submit themselves to their husbands, so that no one will speak evil of the message that comes from God.

Titus 2:4-5  Good News Translation

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: The wives are taught here in the Bible to love their husbands, to be good housewives, which include being submissive to their husbands. But as we just heard earlier in 1 Peter 3:7 that they’re their equal. So we need to remember, Apostle Peter said they are equal in God’s gift of new life. He did not say they’re equal in roles, equal in responsibilities and final authority when decisions are to be made for the household. What else? What else can be described as the wife’s role in marriage as taught by the Bible? Proverbs chapter 31 this time we’ll read here verse 27, 28 and 29:

She is always busy and looks after her family’s needs. Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her. He says, “Many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all.”

Proverbs 31:27-29  Good News Translation

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: So wives have the responsibility to take care of the family’s needs at home. She should be shown, however, great appreciation for that by her husband and also by her children. So, dear friends, to summarize, we started out with these questions and this is what we have learned from the Holy Scriptures:

1. Who instituted marriage? Well, we learned when God created Adam and Eve and blessed them, and with that blessing He instituted marriage.
2. We asked as well, what must rule over the man and woman who enter marriage? We learned it is the commands and laws of God that must rule over a marriage, not a husband dictating the life of his wife or the wife dictating the life of her husband.
3. We also asked, well, what then are the roles of the husband? We learned the first role that we read about was for husbands to love their wives, as Christ does the Church, and to be a provider of the needs of the family.
4. We also then asked, what are the rules of the wife? And we learned from the Bible. Again, one of the roles was for them to look over the household and the children, and to also love their husbands and be submissive.

BROTHER BOB PELLIEN: If both the husband and the wife value the laws of God and allow them to rule over their married life, they will live in peace and harmony and will prosper because they will live with God’s blessings filling their life. No one would ever separate and there would never be any talk of divorce, which, by the way, is something God also prohibits.

We want God’s blessing to fill the lives of all our viewers, which is why we invite all of you viewing this program now: join with us inside the Church Of Christ, so that you too may benefit from God’s blessings to His people that come with learning His laws pertaining to a harmonious marriage. Because when God blesses a       marriage inside the Church Of Christ, His blessing will bring peace and deep love throughout your married life. We’d like you to continue learning about the teachings of the Bible taught in the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ).

Please visit us online and browse the different topics, or set up an appointment to meet with a minister of the gospel. We’re here to help you. If you have any questions about the Bible or salvation, please email them to us. I’m Bob Pellien, thanks for watching. See you next time right here on That’s In The Bible.