Having a Honeymoon Baby
[Show opens]
Myrtle Alegado: Being newlyweds is an exciting time in the marriage journey but have you known some newly married friends who found out that they were expecting a wedding night or honeymoon baby soon after marriage too? We’re going to delve into that topic today as we launch season two, so stay tuned.
Welcome to Happy Life, a podcast brought to you by INC Media Audio that aims to help newlyweds navigate through the first years of marriage. I’m Myrtle Alegado and I’ve been married to my husband Paul since 1999. And later, we’ll hear some Bible based advice through Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.
[Show Catchphrase]
Inspiration to make your marriage thrive, you’re listening to Happy Life.
Myrtle Alegado: In Season One of Happy Life, we talked about adjustments as newlyweds and the transition from the big day to your new life as husband and wife. Imagine now that one of those adjustments also includes welcoming a baby. And today we have with us Thirdy and Bianca all the way from London. Their wedding was in April of 2021, so another pandemic wedding. Hi, Thirdy and Bianca, and thanks so much for joining us on Happy Life.
Thirdy Magsino: Hi Myrtle. Thank you for having us.
Bianca Magsino: Yeah, thank you for having us.
Myrtle Alegado: Well, how are you two doing over there in London?
Thirdy & Bianca Magsino: We’re good. We’re good.
Thirdy Magsino: A bit sleep deprived, but we’re good.
Myrtle Alegado: That’s to be expected. So can you tell us a little more about your wedding and you know, your life together immediately afterwards?
Thirdy Magsino: So we got married last year, April 29, 2021. We have been in a long distance relationship for a couple of years. So she lives in Hamburg, Germany. And the wedding was on the 29th of April. And shortly afterwards, maybe three days after, she left…
Bianca Magsino: I had to go back
Thirdy Magsino: To go back to Germany to fix some paperwork and to handle some government things for the wedding.
Myrtle Alegado: Wow. Like only 3 days?
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, it was, it was kind of bittersweet. It was like, from the high of the wedding. And then all of a sudden, like the sadness of saying goodbye straight away, like a few days after.
Myrtle Alegado: So you had your wedding, and then you went back to being kind of like an LDR [long distance relationship] couple .
Bianca Magsino: Yeah, yeah. But then it wasn’t for too long. Because Thirdy then came to Hamburg to stay with me in June, until August, which was nice. So we’ve got to spend some time in Hamburg as well before I finally moved to the UK in September 2021.
Thirdy Magsino: We always said, looking back, it’s not going to be long, but in the moment.
Bianca Magsino: In the moment, it always feels long.
Myrtle Alegado: Yeah, well, that’s true. I mean, it was, what, four or five months. So it’s kind of significant, a third of the year or whatnot. So but you know, on our episode today, we’re talking about having a honeymoon baby or expecting a baby in your first year of marriage.
First of all, congratulations to both of you on the recent birth of your baby girl. So when was she born? And what’s her name?
Bianca Magsino: Thank you. She was born on the 19th of January 2022. And her name is…
Thirdy Magsino: Evie Grace Magsino.
Myrtle Alegado: Oh, that’s so wonderful, you know, [as] first time parents you must be, as you said, sleep deprived, but at the same time, you’re probably ecstatic that she’s finally arrived.
But you know, when we were looking into discussing this topic, we found that there were pros and cons to becoming pregnant right away after the wedding. You know, for example, some pros are if you’re worried about having problems conceiving, you know, at least you’ll find out right away and you’ll have avoided the question many people ask right after you get married—you know, “When are you having kids? When are you having kids?!”
And on the other hand, some cons are that having a baby means a huge change in your life right away, which also means you won’t really have that time to adjust to one another during the newlywed phase. And also your friends might not be at the same stage as you or, you know, ready to have children of their own. So you might not be able to see your friends as much.
So why don’t you tell me about how you found out about your pregnancy, Bianca, and what it was like?
Bianca Magsino: So I found out when I was back in Germany. It was a month after when I was waiting for that “time of the month” to come. And it wasn’t coming, so I was like “Okay, maybe it’s time for me to actually check” because there is a possibility. And by the time I did check, well it turned out positive. So I was like, “oh, okay,” but maybe it does happen that sometimes it does test positive but you know, a false positive. So I waited another week and then I tested again and it turned out positive again. So I was like, “Okay, this is it. I’m guessing we’re pregnant.”
And yeah, you can really say it is a honeymoon baby because we weren’t really [together not long) after the wedding.
Myrtle Alegado: Literally a honeymoon baby, because if you left after three days…. [laughs]
Bianca Magsino: And then I waited a bit to tell Thirdy because I wanted to kind of surprise him in a special way and not just tell him on the phone, “Oh, we’re pregnant.” I ended up ordering something online. It was a baby romper that said, “I can’t wait to meet you, Daddy.” And I shipped it to his house. And yeah, I was on the phone when I told him to open the package. He thought it was, because I think it was almost close to our first ‘monthsary’. So 1 month after our…
Thirdy Magsino: Or, two months?
Bianca Magsino: Oh, two months. Yeah, he thought it was a monthsary wedding gift for him.
Thirdy Magsino: What’s this?
Bianca Magsino: And then, yeah, we were on a phone call, on a video call. And then I was like, “Oh, can you open this package?” And that’s how I told him.
Myrtle Alegado: So you were going through all of this, you know, alone by yourself, taking all these tests and whatnot. So wow, that must have been hard to kind of keep under wraps.
Bianca Magsino: It was. It was because we’re usually a couple that tells each other everything straight away. Like something small happens, I [would] already tell him. So it was really difficult for me to keep it a secret. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret on purpose, but I just wanted to tell him in a nice memorable way. Yeah.
Thirdy Magsino: A special way.
Myrtle Aegado: So, Thirdy, why don’t you share, you know, your version of events on that call?
Thirdy Magsino: Honestly, because usually when she’s hiding something or you know trying to surprise me, there’s a bit of like, you know,
Bianca Magsino: You can kind of tell.
Thirdy Magsino: Hmmm, something’s going on. But no, she was able to hide it and kind of surprise me fully. And yes, it was like our ‘monthsary’ wedding gift. I was like, “Oh sorry, I didn’t get you anything. And then she told me, “Okay, make sure you record yourself.” And I was on the phone, and then there was one phone recording and one phone on us together, on the video call together. Yeah, so it came in a little, small box. And all of a sudden I opened it and I could barely see it. All I saw was ‘Daddy.’ I was like, “What? What’s this?” I saw her laughing. “What’s this?” And then I lifted it up a bit.
And I was just speechless. Anyone that knows me, I’m never speechless. I talk a lot. I talk a lot, yeah. I could not speak, I was just … I could not… Just thinking about it now, yeah, it’s… for a good like 20 seconds. I was looking at her like and looking back [at it] and I was just like, stunned. And then she said…
Bianca Magsino: I had to speak for him to kind of realize what was happening. I said, “Oh, we’re pregnant.” And that’s when it kind of hit him, I think.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, because, you know, reading ‘I can’t wait to meet you Daddy,’ I was like, “Is this a joke?” Like, is this a joke or like for real? My mouth just dropped. I was… I can’t believe it. That was really like, it was an unbelievable moment. Like, my emotions [were] just like riled up and I just couldn’t think. I couldn’t process anything.
Myrtle Alegado: So what were, you know, the other emotions that both of you experienced, finding out about the pregnancy?
Bianca Magsino: To be honest, we were not really planning to get pregnant straight away. But we were like, oh, maybe we can wait a year or so. We wanted to travel together and do things together after being in a long distance relationship for so long. But at the same time, we also said that if it happens, it’s God’s will and we will, of course, take it.
The only thing that was a bit difficult was being separated from Thirdy in the beginning, especially right after the wedding, and when I found out I wasn’t physically with him. By the time I was able to speak to him about it, it felt lighter. I wouldn’t call it a burden, but a kind of…
Thirdy Magsino: Like a relief.
Bianca Magsino: Yeah, relief of being able to talk to someone about it, instead of just having to keep it to yourself. It was very emotional, I think, also for Thirdy. He already said that he was quite speechless when he found out.
“Am I ready for this? Are we ready for this?” That’s what one of our concerns were. And then we were also thinking, “Oh, what if we’re not ready for this?” What if there’s …
Thirdy Magsino: And in the moment, while I was away, you were able to talk to your mom weren’t you? Like, after you told me, you were able to tell her as well, isn’t it?
Bianca Magsino: Oh, yeah, yeah, I told my mom after. A week or two after, I was able to also talk to my mom. And I told her, “I’m pregnant.” She was happy. And that was also some emotional support that I needed and that she was able to give me. Not just my mom, but also my dad. By the time I told them, it just really felt like a big relief on my end, yeah.
Myrtle Alegado: So how many weeks did you keep it to yourself, Bianca?
Bianca Magsino: I’m not too sure [about] the weeks. Maybe around…
Thirdy Magsino: I think you said it was like two, three weeks wasn’t it?
Bianca Magsino: Yeah, after I waited for my cycle and it didn’t come. Oh no, actually, by the time I found out, it was almost three weeks until I told Thirdy.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, it was almost a month.
Myrtle Alegado: Three weeks, okay, almost a month. Yeah, and it’s such a time where you really want to share it with your spouse, right? So, how did you feel during those times, Bianca, when you’re really trying to keep it a secret, but at the same time, you know, you want to share it? Were you feeling any loneliness, I guess, maybe?
Bianca Magsino: In a way, you can kind of call it loneliness, because, like we said, we share everything. We don’t keep any, we usually don’t keep any secrets from each other. So I really, it’s because it’s also such a big thing. And I wasn’t expecting it. And by the time I saw this positive test, I was like, the first thing that popped into my head was I want to talk to Thirdy about it. I want to share this, because it’s going to be our baby. And keeping it from him, yeah, it kind of made me feel a bit lonely. Yeah.
Myrtle Alegado: Thirdy, you know, what else went through your mind after she finally told you, and you were able to visit her in Hamburg too, right?
Thirdy Magsino: It’s crazy, because you’re so overwhelmed by emotions, knowing that you’re about to have a kid. And then when you are there in the doctor’s [office], and you hear the heartbeat for the first time…
Bianca Magsino: It’s a completely different thing.
Thirdy Magsino: It’s something else.
Bianca Magsino: Like you know about the baby, but then when you hear the heartbeat. Yeah.
Thirdy Magsino: It’s a living being that’s inside you.
Bianca Magsino: That’s when it feels even more real.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah.
Myrtle Alegado: I think a lot of parents feel that way where, I mean you know you’re pregnant. But the first time that you hear the heartbeat, it’s like, oh wow. There’s a living being inside you.
Bianca Magsino: Yeah.
Thirdy Magsino: The progression from a little kind of seed to… It’s crazy, those early days, because we just got married. And now we’re expecting a baby. So we’re adjusting to a lot of things.
Bianca Magsino: When it comes to marriage, and then we have another thing to cope with…
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah.
Bianca Magsino: which is pregnancy and parenthood.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, it’s a lot to wrap your head around. But hearing the heartbeat for the first time was really, it’s difficult to describe. You really can’t describe it in terms of— that’s your baby. That’s me and you, you know.
Myrtle Alegado: So if you can kind of share, you know, how did you manage all of your emotions? You said there was like a whole jumble of emotions so I’m expecting, you know, fear, happiness, excitement. I guess all of those kinds of things?
Thirdy Magsino: It’s a lot. It’s, honestly, [there are] so many things that [run] through your mind, not just in the moment but especially afterwards when you just think, you know, you’re going to be a dad, you’re going to have to help provide, you’re going to have to lead the family, you’re going to have to be a supportive husband, you know. There’s so many things. It’s like you’re scared and happy and kind of like, “How do I do this?” It’s just a lot. It’s just …
Bianca Magsino: Because it’s something you haven’t experienced before.
Thirdy Magsino: Being in charge of someone, like, as they grow up, is something else. It’s completely different to anything that we’ve ever… It feels like we’re not qualified for it, if that makes sense. It’s like, we skipped step three to ten. And then we went straight to it. Like okay, here’s a baby. And that’s, for us, that was just kind of like the overwhelming thing I think, isn’t it?
We’d like to say we’re still relatively young. Some people would laugh, like, some of our younger friends would laugh at that. We’d like to say that we’re relatively young, and it feels like, “We’re allowed to have kids this young?” Because we don’t feel like we’re parents, you know? Yeah, it doesn’t feel like…
Bianca Magsino: We barely felt like Buklod [the group of married brethren of the Church Of Christ within the Christian Family Organizations/CFO].
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, we barely felt like a married couple.
Myrtle Alegado: Right, yeah. I mean, definitely unchartered territory that you’re navigating through, right?
So just how do you deal with a great blessing that is, you know, at the same time, a little bit stressful, and thrusts you into uncertainty or the unknown? I’m looking forward to hearing what the Bible has to say. Here with us again on Happy Life Is Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.
Hi there, Brother Felmar, and welcome back to Happy Life, as we start this new season.
Brother Felmar Serreno: Hello there, everyone. Hello to the Happy Life team. Hello to you, Myrtle. And [it’s] so good that we could all get back together again like this for season two of the podcast. And to start us off, we have Thirdy and Bianca joining us for episode one of season two. And very glad to have you both and congratulations again on your newborn.
Thirdy Magsino: Hi, Brother Felmar. Thank you so much.
Bianca Magsino: Hello.
Brother Felmar Serreno: So, I would first like to respond, at this time, to what was mentioned earlier about the “viewed” pros and cons on becoming pregnant right after getting married. Now, we are not saying here that it is wrong to have an opinion on the matter, or that you should absolutely reject any suggestion that others may give you about getting pregnant in your first year or so of marriage.
But there is a biblical truth to remember when planning, or not, to have a child or when to have a child and how many, in fact. What should we remember? Let me quote for everyone what is written here in the book of Proverbs, chapter 19, verse 21, in the New International Version, the Bible says:
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
[Proverbs 19:21 New International Version]
Brother Felmar Serreno: This is what we should never lose sight of. While we do have the opportunity to make plans, and hear suggestions and weigh the supposed pros and cons of getting pregnant, in the end, in spite of all of our efforts, “it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” So for example, a married couple decides that they do want children right after the wedding. However, it’s not happening. Well, God has a purpose for that. It could be the opposite—husband and wife do not want a honeymoon baby. Rather, they want a couple years first to themselves. They do not want to become parents right away. But that’s not what happens. They do become pregnant sooner than planned. Well, God has a purpose for that, too. And if I’m not mistaken, if I heard it right earlier, for yourselves, Thirdy and Bianca, you kind of wanted some time first to yourselves, huh, before becoming parents. Am I right?
Thirdy Magsino: Yes, Brother Felmar. We have been in a long distance relationship for so long. So we were like, okay, let’s take this time to, to…
Bianca Magsino: Just enjoy.
Thirdy Magsino: Enjoy our alone time, travel the world.
Brother Felmar Serreno: Well, there you go. A perfect example to what was just mentioned. What ended up happening in reality is different from what they had planned. But the point is, what ends up happening, God has a purpose for that. And when God’s purpose does begin to unfold before us, what do we need to do? We’ll stay here in the book of Proverbs, chapter 3 this time though. We’ll go and read verses five to six. Here in the Message translation, the Bible teaches:
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
[Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message]
Brother Felmar Serreno: When God’s purpose starts to unfold before us, what do we need to do? We need to trust Him. How should we trust God? The Bible states, “from the bottom of your heart.” What else does the Bible mean when it teaches us to trust God? “Don’t try to figure out everything on your own,” the Bible says. So in the case of newlyweds having a baby right away, or not—whatever the outcome, we ought to recognize that that is God’s purpose. That’s His plan for us, and we must trust Him, even if what ended up happening is different from what we originally hoped or planned.
But maybe some are thinking right now, and maybe it’s something that has crossed your mind, Thirdy and Bianca—how can you be sure that you will succeed down this path that God has purposed for you, when originally that’s not what you had planned? So, how can you be sure that you will succeed on something that you originally didn’t plan? That’s why the Bible stated, right, “Listen for God’s voice in everything you do. He’s the one who will keep you on track.”
So it may be something different from what was originally planned. But if we’re listening to God’s voice, He will teach us how to adapt. He will teach us how to get through it, to be successful down this path that He has purposed for us. “Listening for God’s voice,” what is the equivalent of that? If we read the same verse, in the New King James Version, it’s equivalent to acknowledging or recognizing God. And Thirdy, if I can ask you very quickly, what is one way that we prove to God that we do acknowledge or recognize Him?
Thirdy Magsino: Brother Felmar, one way we recognize God is by praying to Him at all times.
Brother Felmar Serreno: Correct, exactly—prayer. So devotional prayer is crucial, especially if you are pregnant and expecting an additional member of the family. We need the Lord God to continue to guide our every decision we make for the well-being and security of our family. And what should we never forget about raising a family? Let me read for you from I Timothy, this time chapter 5, verse 8, here in the Revised Standard Version:
If any one does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
[I Timothy 5:8 Revised Standard Version]
Brother Felmar Serreno: Based on this biblical truth, the Lord God holds parents responsible to provide for their own family. Thus, what are some guiding questions to consider when you’re expecting a child, particularly if this is your first child?
So, here are some guiding questions. Number one: have my spouse and I worked out a plan for our finances? I’ll say it again. Have my spouse and I worked out a plan for our finances? So what are things to consider? Hospital bills, present and upcoming gas bills for all of those back and forth checkups, budget for diapers, baby wipes, baby clothes, baby bottles, you know, everything baby, right?
For yourselves, Thirdy and Bianca, praise be to God your daughter has already been born, right. But prior to, did you also experience, you know, these bills and expenses just, you know, coming left and right?
Thirdy Magsino: Yes, Brother Felmar. Well, here in the UK, it’s not too much of a problem regarding hospital bills, but one thing that we had to consider is the baby room. Like it’s a lot. It’s a lot to consider. We never expected it to be that much actually.
Brother Felmar Serreno: And going into it, Bianca, did you talk with Thirdy? Like, did you work out a plan? Was it helpful to have a plan going into this?
Bianca Magsino: We weren’t sure what to expect. We did end up talking about it. In our situation, Thirdy is responsible for the finances, so I leave it all up to him.
Brother Felmar Serreno: I see. Okay, well, if that is how you communicated with each other for your situation, then that works as well, right? It’s important that husband and wife communicate.
The point is though this is a guiding question, generally speaking, for everyone who’s going into pregnancy, expecting a child, especially if it’s their first one. It does help to be prepared by having a plan for those expenses or financial concerns.
Brother Felmar Serreno: All right, so here’s another guiding question for those who are expecting a child. Have my spouse and I worked out a plan for household chores and other important routine activities? Obviously, as the pregnancy progresses, there are many things your respective wife will not be able to do. And that includes also after the baby has been born. So, husbands out there who are expecting a child, or your wife is currently pregnant, or has recently given birth, right, we really need to brace ourselves. Because as a loving and responsible husband, you will take on most, if not all, of the housework, while earning a living, and while tending to your wife and your unborn child or newborn child, as the case may be.
So, you know side note, you are really fortunate and express your gratitude if your parents and relatives are around and they’re willing to help, right? But with or without that extra help, husband and wife ought to work out a plan for things like doing the laundry, taking out the trash, staying on top of important dates like paying the rent on time. You don’t want to forget that, right? What else? Renewing things like your car insurance. But as members of the Church Of Christ, above all, let’s stay on top of our spiritual obligations and deadlines, such as preparing for the worship service ahead of time, marking our calendar for the upcoming committee prayer meetings or CFO (Christian Family Organization) activities, setting aside for our Thanksgiving, finding ways to attend Bible studies and share our faith.
So regardless of how busy life gets, we must never lose sight of accomplishing these Bible-based doctrines of ours, and all the others. Why? Because even more important than providing the material is providing the spiritual needs of our family. And what does it mean to God when that is the order of our priorities? It means that we do trust Him with all of our heart. And for that, what will God do for us again? He will keep us on the right track.
Myrtle Alegado: Thank you, Brother Felmar, for joining us again here on Happy Life and for sharing the biblical advice that always provides us with insight and clarity, and also for those probing questions to really help expectant parents to prepare. Now before you go, Bianca and Thirdy, do you have anything further you’d like to ask?
Thirdy Magsino: Yes, Myrtle. We were wondering, Brother Felmar, we’d just like some advice on balancing our relationship on being new parents.
Brother Felmar Serreno: Ah, okay, okay. Married life is an adjustment. Having a child is an adjustment in itself, right. So all of these adjustments happening, which is why to answer your question, we did the series on communication in season one, because to maintain that balance and harmony within the relationship of a married couple—communication is huge. Communication is big. So, hopefully you can have a chance to review those episodes. And in those episodes, we hear from married couples, their experiences and what helped them, as well as, again, Bible-based advice, right? Because nothing beats Bible-based advice—God’s counsel, His guidance—so that our marriage will work and will be harmonious, and we’ll have that balance, like you said, every day.
In that series on communication, we touched topics like how do you handle disagreements, expectations, [and] making decisions. So those things and more were discussed in season one, so I’m not going to, you know, go over everything right now all over again. It would take a lot of time up. The point is—communication is big.
And just as a side note to that, in my humble opinion and based on experience, and also working with other married couples, you know, sometimes the imbalance in the relationship, sometimes it stems from something as simple as you just both need a break. Sometimes it’s as simple as that—you just both need a break. So, as a side note, a suggestion would be [to] try to have an outlet. Try to have an outlet, a personal outlet, and an outlet that you do together as husband and wife.
Like for others, you know, the personal outlet of the husband could be, you know, just having time alone to read a book at a coffee shop, you know, just to reset the stress levels, you know, kind of to do that. Or for the wife, it could be, you know, to take a brisk walk around the neighborhood, right? Get some fresh air in your lungs.
And an outlet that can be done together is to maybe watch a movie together, right, have a good laugh, you know, just to get your mind off of things. Again, reset those stress levels and then go back together again, you know, to tackle the problems of life, right. But again, that’s just something on the side that, you know, we can share. Number one, always, is the Bible-based guidance we receive, communicating with God. We also touched on those things in season one on that series on communication. So hopefully, does that answer your question, Thirdy and Bianca?
Thirdy Magsino: Yes, Brother Felmar. Thank you so much.
Brother Felmar Serreno: If you don’t mind me asking, do you have something like that, like an outlet that you do, together?
Thirdy Magsino: We used to watch movies together, Brother Felmar. We used to have like this little tiny projector screen and used to try and project on the screen, on the wall of our bed. But right now, we haven’t had the chance to have any [time] I think.
Bianca Magsino: The focus is on the baby, right now.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, the only time we’ve ever had any relaxed time is just walking around the house, in the garden or something.
Brother Felmar Serreno: Well, that’s the thing. At least you have that right? You know, because the way I see it, if you don’t make kind of like the extra effort to pinpoint, you know, just really set it in stone—on this day, at this time, we’re going to unwind. You know, let’s get some time for ourselves, let’s get a break, reset, so that we can keep going, right? So, yeah, it helps to have an outlet. So thanks for sharing that as well, and hopefully it’s of help too, to all the listeners out there.
Myrtle Alegado: Thanks again, Brother Felmar, and we’ll see you next time on Happy Life.
Brother Felmar Serreno: Thank you, everybody. Bye for now.
Myrtle Alegado: So, Thirdy and Bianca, if I can just add my two cents to a little bit of advice on maybe finding that balance. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Everybody needs help. So if you’re fortunate enough to have family and friends who are willing to maybe watch the baby for an hour, take the time to have that quality time together so that you can continue to build on your own relationship while you also adjust to becoming new parents.
Thirdy Magsino: To be honest, that is one of our difficulties I think, to reach out for help. There’s so many people offering their advice right now, but we’re still yet to take their offer. We’re trying.
Bianca Magsino: We’re trying, yeah.
Myrtle Alegado: I know it’s hard. It’s hard to let go because, you know, she is your first baby and you’re new parents.
Thirdy Magsino: Yes, we were fortunate enough to have our family help us in…
Bianca Magsino: The first couple of weeks.
Thirdy Magsino: Yes. Her family actually came here a few weeks ago to help with the baby and to meet their grandkids, which was really beautiful, beautiful memories.
Myrtle Alegado: So, Thirdy, you know when we chatted before you said when you first heard the news during that video call, you asked Bianca to pray together. Can you share what your prayer was about?
Thirdy Magsino: Yes. It was really unexpected, like what we mentioned earlier. So, the prayer was mainly just from the heart. We’re just so thankful, we’re so thankful. It was a prayer of thanks and a prayer to ask for help, for the solution, you know, because we don’t know how to be good parents. But through prayers, we always ask [to] help us to be a good example, to give us the solutions. Because in the prayer, I said something along the lines of we know that this is a blessing, but we know that there’ll be many tests that we’ll encounter along the way. But whatever the tests may be, help us to pass them. Help us to overcome them and to learn from those tests.
Yes, having a baby, for us, is really, really an amazing thing. But we’re overthinkers, both of us, and we worry a lot. You know, that’s one thing that we would like to improve in ourselves. But that’s one thing that I mentioned in the prayer [to] help us to always be thankful, no matter the situation, circumstance. And even until now we pray for the same things.
Bianca Magsino: Always with a thankful heart.
Thirdy Magsino: Always, no matter [the] difficulty, no matter the circumstance. I think that’s a difficult thing, just having a positive outlook in any situation. Because right now, currently—praise be to God—the baby, Evie, is perfectly healthy and we’re thankful. It was just overwhelming thanks and just non-stop crying.
Bianca Magsino: It’s a blessing.
Myrtle Alegado: Aww, well you know thank you for sharing all that with us. But you know, what are your biggest worries as you dive into parenthood, and how has the adjustment been to this new chapter in your life?
Bianca Magsino: In the beginning, it was or still is very scary. Because, yeah, we’re first time parents, we haven’t experienced this before. We don’t know how to raise a child. We don’t know how to, yeah, just take care of her, do things. I mean, you can only read as much online about how to parent but at the end of the day, you have to figure it out on your own, like how to be able to take care of this baby, or of Evie. And of course, with prayer, that’s really one of the things that is helping us the most on how to be able to cope with everything that we’re experiencing right now. But yeah, it’s just crazy. Because when you think about it, you have to… this isn’t just like a one month thing and then you can kind of say, “Okay, I don’t want this anymore.” But you have to raise this child until they’re old enough to be able to stand on their own.
Thirdy Magsino: Even after.
Bianca Magsino: Or even after. Yeah.
Myrtle Alegado: Yeah. I mean, I don’t think it stops honestly. Yeah, there’s no handbook that says, “Okay, at this stage you do this, at this stage you do this, right? You’re always learning as well, right? Because when they become parents, I think you still continue to parent your own children.
Bianca Magsino: Yeah, yeah. We can tell from our parents.
Myrtle Alegado: So you know, how do you get past all the worries and the fears that you have?
Thirdy Magsino: Just a matter of accepting what’s been given to us, good and bad. So whatever God’s plan is for us, it helps us get past the worries and fears I guess. Because if you kind of go against it, if you’re really negative towards a certain situation, it kind of feeds into the worry and fear even more.
Bianca Magsino: It makes it worse.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, it makes it a lot worse, rather than if you just accept it in the moment, it makes it better and you know that you’re following God’s plan. And that’s what we continue to pray for, to have that characteristic—to help us to follow whatever His plan may be for us, whatever it may be. And because at the end of the day, God always knows what’s best for us. He’s always given us and allowed us to have the best in this life. Whatever it might be, it’s always been for the best.
Bianca Magsino: And it’s also easier to manage those day-to-day challenges we experience when we have this positive outlook.
Thirdy Magsino: Yes, yes, we do that everyday now. We, at the end of the day, we try to [ask] “what three things are you most grateful for today?” Even if it’s a small thing, like, oh, we got to eat lunch together.
Bianca Magsino: We were able to take a nap.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah, those simple little things really are, you get to appreciate [them] even more.
Myrtle Alegado: Yeah, no, those are great. You know, that’s a great mindset, and to be able to have those affirmations at the end of the day, it changes how you look at things in a more positive light. What are your hopes, and what are you looking forward to now?
Bianca Magsino: We are looking forward to seeing how she will develop her own personality. We kind of see some of our own traits in her. Like it’s the small things, like the way she sleeps, for example. She has some favorite positions that kind of remind me of Thirdy’s sleeping positions, and that’s kind of cute to see, like she really is a mix of the two of us. And we’re excited to also see her grow even more.
Thirdy Magsino: Yeah. Also another thing for us is we’re really excited for her to be an active member of the Church, you know, for her to be strong in the faith.
Bianca Magsino: Definitely.
Thirdy Magsino: For us that’s going to be one of the main things that really, we’re so excited to see, to perform [our church duties] with her. Imagine that, the first time she’s in the choir loft, or you know, whatever her duty will be in the future, and all of us are performing together. That’s the goal.
Bianca Magsino: That’s the dream.
Thirdy Magsino: That’s the dream. That’s the dream.
Myrtle Alegado: Well, I’m sure, you know, with all of your prayers and the support system you have in your family and friends, I have no doubt you two will be great parents. So, you know, congratulations again, and thank you for sharing your experiences and your emotions that you went through here with us on Happy Life.
Thirdy Magsino: Thank you so much, Myrtle.
Bianca Magsino: Thank you.
Thirdy Magsino: Thank you so much for talking to us and having us.
Bianca Magsino: Yeah, that was really nice.
Myrtle Alegado: Well give a little Evie hug from Auntie Myrtle.
Thirdy Magsino: We will, after she wakes up.
Bianca Magsino: Will do, after she wakes up.
Myrtle Alegado: Becoming parents in the first year of marriage sounds daunting, but we hope the discussion that we had today provided some comfort for those newlyweds who are currently expecting. Remember to lean on your friends and family and most of all, trust God.
And that brings us to the end of our episode for today. To learn more about Christian relationships, please visit incmedia.org. And if you’d like to say hi, send us a question or see who our newlywed guests are, you can visit our Instagram account: @happylife.podcast.
Please also remember to share our podcast with your family and friends and all the newlyweds that you know.
Thank you from all of us here on the Happy Life team. We’re so glad you joined us today and hope we’ve all been reminded about the blessing of marriage.
[Show closes]
