At the age of 19, my husband Moses lost his father to cancer. As an only child and just starting college, he felt the immense weight of caring for his grieving mother, while also navigating a new school environment. He desperately tried to piece his life back together around a gaping hole in his heart. While he prayed and continued to rely on his faith, he was also prescribed medication to help him combat the deep sadness he felt after losing his dad. The healing process is ongoing, even now, over 20 years later.
Making sense of the heartache
As Moses struggled to make sense of the unfairness of it all, he decided that he needed to strengthen his roots in parts of his life where he could grow: his relationship with his mom, his education, and most importantly, his faith and relationship with God.
He refocused the energy from his sadness to what he could control in his life and dedicated his life to growing into a man that his father would be proud of.
What is post-traumatic growth (PTG)?
Sometimes when something really difficult happens in our lives, we can grow from it in surprising ways. This is called post-traumatic growth, or PTG. When someone experiences PTG, they don’t just get better – they become different in good ways. They might find new meaning in their life or discover strengths they never knew they had.
The Five Areas of PTG
The research in the book, Posttraumatic Growth: Theory, Research and Applications, discusses how positive change in five areas of growth determine whether someone has achieved PTG:
- Appreciation of life
- Relationships with others
- New possibilities in life
- Personal strength
- Spiritual change
As the researches explain, these 5 areas of PTG can help people become even stronger for future challenges (Tedeschi & Blevins, 2017). While growth can happen in any of these areas, the stories you’re about to read focus on the powerful role of spiritual change.
Is PTG the same as resilience?
Before I share stories, it’s important to talk about the differences between resilience and PTG. Being strong (what we call resilience) means you can handle tough times well – like having a shield that helps protect you when things get difficult. PTG is different – it’s about how tough times change you into someone new.
You might find new paths you never noticed before, build deeper connections with people around you, or develop a stronger relationship with God.
According to Psychology Today, this is what growth after trauma can look like
“Survivors of trauma recognize and embrace new opportunities. They forge stronger relationships with loved ones as well as with victims who suffered in the same way. They cultivate inner strength through the knowledge that they have overcome tremendous hardship. They gain a deeper appreciation for life. And their relationship to religion and spirituality changes and evolves.”
The stories below illustrate how spiritual change can take many forms – from deepening your faith to discovering faith for the first time.
What matters isn’t where you start your journey, but how the experience transforms your relationship with God and your understanding of yourself.
Different Paths to Positive Spiritual Change After Trauma
When difficult times come, people often find themselves on different spiritual journeys. In the stories that follow, you’ll meet four people who faced challenging moments in their lives. Through their experiences, we’ll see how trauma and hardship led them to either discover faith for the first time or find deeper meaning and strengthen their relationship with God.
From Medical Crisis to Surrendering to God
Having faith doesn’t mean you won’t experience hard times that shake up your world. When Rhea Mae Cabardo, a member of the Church Of Christ, faced a life-shattering diagnosis, she had no choice but to surrender her fate to God:
“But if I’m going to be honest with you, there were moments. There were moments [when] I couldn’t see clearly. I couldn’t think or make decisions. So I gave it up to God. I remember falling to my knees and telling him, ‘I give up, I give everything to you!’”
A Broken Heart Finds Healing Through Prayer
Marisol Cuahutle, a former Catholic, experienced both a traumatic childhood and abandonment when she needed support the most:
“And within two weeks I had a miscarriage. And when that happened, it broke my heart. That was my breaking point. I was crying. And as I was crying. I said, ‘God, please, You can help me. I need to know exactly what’s going on. I need some [healing], I need my heart to be [healed]. I cannot continue like this.’”
From Unknown Prayer to Found Faith
Timmon Li, born in a Buddhist family, was searching for comfort and answers, but had no idea where to look:
“We found out my mom had…sorry..she has kidney failure. So I remember going back home that night. And I was near my bed and I was on the side and I was kneeling and… I remember saying, ‘I know You’re up there… but I don’t know who You are…’ And I really tried to pray that night, but of course I don’t know Him, and He doesn’t know me yet. So of course, I didn’t even feel anything. So later after that night, that’s when I realized that I wanted to find the true religion.”
A Mother Finds Her Way Back
An active member of the Church Of Christ, Irma Jackson experienced depression while trying to care for a newborn and life seemed to come crashing down on her:
“I asked and I prayed that God give me some clarification why I might be going through this. And I just wanted to get better. And it’s always been my prayer to get better. But, you know, the mental illness, it’s a chronic disease. So some days you have good days, some days you have bad days. There’s always going to be a trigger within your life that can bring it back again.”
Finding Light: Aha moments
Rhea, Marisol, Timmon, and Irma all had something in common: they began to see things in a new light with God’s help. Rhea and Irma, who were born and raised as members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ), focused on the spiritual growth and recharge that happens during the worship.
Rhea began to see her diagnosis as something she can reflect on:
“I know now. I know now that what I’m going through, and what I’ve experienced has been one of the greatest blessings in my life because it forced me to think, ‘If God was to give me ten days or ten years to live, how would I live my life?’ That’s when it all changed. My mind shifted. And my perspective and thought. Life changed.”
Irma found comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone in her struggle:
“When I heard the Executive Minister, Brother Eduardo talk about depression, I felt like I could breathe, I actually felt like he knows. And the brethren will know that this is something that’s normal and should be accepted. Because for people like me, we need help. We need the support of our community. And so again, hearing that in the lesson about depression, about hopelessness, it did give a form of validation to say, ‘Hey, it is something real, it’s not just me, it’s not just in my head, I’m not crazy.’”
Marisol and Timmon, both converts, found the spiritual change they needed to lift them from a dark place.
“For me it’s what was missing was, I guess there was that emptiness, something… that one piece you can say, from the puzzle, that I was missing. For me finding the Church Of Christ that’s…it’s my life now. For me, remembering that prayer that I did before, I finally realized that He’s answering me and He’s the one that’s bringing me back.” – Timmon Li
“First time I went to a chapel, It was the best feeling ever because it was the first time that I walked into a church without feeling judged, without feeling guilt. As soon as you walk in, it’s a good feeling. I started praying and it made me feel good.” – Marisol Cuahutle
While their experiences are different, the stories from Irma, Marisol, Timmon and Rhea give us a clear path forward.
From their experiences, we can take some practical advice:
- Focus on what you control: How you use your time, how you use your body, how you view stress
- Ask for help
- Embrace stress instead of fighting it
Full Circle Moment for Moses
Earlier I shared how my husband Moses struggled after losing his dad at age 19. Finding purpose after such a deep loss isn’t something that happens overnight. Moses hit some low points – he almost failed his first year of college and lived with an emptiness that felt like it would never go away.
But through attending worship services, he found comfort and strength in God’s words. Over time, this devastating loss changed how he saw life – it taught him to be grateful for every moment and showed him just how important family relationships are. These realizations shaped his faith and the person he is today: a devoted husband, father, choir member, and (yes!) my teammate here at INC Media Services where we serve together.
Now, Moses continues to be prayerful and makes sure to teach our children the same lesson he learned through his journey – the importance of putting their faith in God.
Every day, he is grateful for the opportunity to be a father. He speaks to our children about his dad, describing him as an example of dedication and quiet strength—a soft-spoken deacon who didn’t hesitate to help brethren in need. His dad may be gone now, but it is because of Moses’ growth that the memory of his dad lives on.
Starting Your Spiritual Growth Journey
If you’re going through a difficult time and seeking spiritual guidance:
- Join us for worship services at an Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)
- Learn more about finding strength through prayer and worship
- Connect with a minister for spiritual counseling and support
Remember: While everyone’s journey through trauma is different, you don’t have to walk this path alone.
The Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ) community is here to support your spiritual growth and healing.
