Felix Somoza: I was baptized when I was a little baby, and then I felt like I was deceived and knowing that my first baptism didn’t count. It really hurt. And I prayed that night too, filled with tears and telling God, you know, “Why? Why…why was I lied to?” I felt deceived.
My name is Felix Somosa. I’m 22 years old. I was born in Monterey, California, grew up in Seaside, California.
I would say my childhood was like, I think it was awesome, to be honest, I was very curious. My parents would say, you know, they love me. I think they raised me as an independent kid, but, you know, they always love me. They treated me good. Going from high school until college year, I was like more on my own, to be honest.
I knew There Was A God
My mom has a big–big Catholic background. I knew there was a God but I just didn’t– which God was it? Like for example, the first time I ever mentioned God was to my mom, I told my mom, “What did God do to all the monsters?” And then she’s like, “How did you know about God?” or “How did you hear about God?” And I told her, “I don’t know, I always hear you saying, ‘Jesus is God’, so I just want to know who God was.” And she said, “Oh, God killed all the monsters.” That’s–that was my first–my first time ever mentioning God, I think maybe three or four years old. I had my first communion my sixth grade year, to be honest, I only went to Mass because, I guess it was good going to church and I don’t know, just going to church, I just feel like that was very important to me.
Searching For God
What made me search for God was, I mean, I went through hard times in 2020. I was always trying to prove to my parents that I can make it to college, and that’s when I started smoking weed for the first time. And then, I don’t know, I just want that feeling to get high. Everyday it would be the same smoke weed, go to work and hang out with friends. And I told myself, “Is this going to be the same every single day of my life?”
It was towards November and December is when–I mean, anxiety was a huge thing for me in 2020. I had anxiety from a lot of things.
Lost And Lonely
I don’t know, I just couldn’t sleep. I would start crying and I would just look up like, “Why can’t I sleep?” And then in 2020 I would always drive with no destination. I drove to Big Sur around December, you know, I like seeing the view, you know, of the bridge. I [drove] through it twice in a row. And then on the third night, that’s when I had the–that’s when I had the suicide thoughts of jumping off the bridgeand then I think it was the morning after New Year, I made that commitment that I’m gonna stop doing all these drugs and turn to God. Yeah, that was a big–that was a huge thing that I went through and because smoking weed, it makes you paranoid. It makes you have anxiety.
“How were you introduced to the Church Of Christ?”
[Through] a mutual friend of mine. [I’ve known] him since middle school, but his cousin [is] a member of the Church [Of Christ]. And then I followed her on social media. And then during that time in 2020, that’s when I had insomnia. She posted on [@incmedianews] about insomnia, how instead of having these issues of going to sleep, just cast it to God. And I told her, “Hey, I like this message.” And a week later she sent me an invitation and then I accepted it.
It Was Amazing
My first impression of the Church Of Christ? I thought it was amazing, to be honest, because I think my first Bible study, I asked the minister, “What is salvation?” And then the minister told me that, “That [answer] should be biblical.” And then he told me that, “There’s two deaths. One in the lake of fire and one is eternal life. The person that invited you is trying to save you from the lake of fire.” And I was like, “What? Okay, well, I didn’t know that.” I mean I didn’t know what salvation was, and then after that I thanked her.
My belief back then was like everybody was going to go to heaven.
How about the doctrine about who God really is?
It was a worship service. The difference between God and Jesus Christ, [the Bible] says how God is above all. How Jesus Christ was sent. Sent by God, but not being God on Earth.
How can a human be God?
But then when I heard the doctrine in the Church Of Christ that God is the Father and then Jesus Christ is the Son. The Holy Spirit is different. It can’t be three in one, when there’s one above all.
After, when I signed up as a Bible student, it actually took me four months to actually sign up as a Bible student. And then went through my twenty-eight [Bible] lessons. You know, my faith grew every single prayer, every single morning, I would ask, “Father, increase my faith.” My faith has been growing so much.
Never Give Up
Did you ever have any doubts while you were going through the Bible study lessons?
I did, yeah. I think there was one I was going to stop at lesson number six. It was about the origin of the Catholic Church. I told my mom about the doctrine of how they call the priests, the father and I’m like, “Mom you know, you’re not supposed to call anyone on Earth, except for the Father in Heaven. And then she’s like–my mom was like “Oh, they’re judging you, they’re judging you. You know what? You shouldn’t continue. You shouldn’t continue.” And then I was going to listen to her and I told myself, “You know why stop here? You know, I’m going to keep going.”
What made me keep going was God. The words of God, it keeps [me going, keeps me] motivated to keep on going. That’s something that, that’s His commandment to keep on going and never give up.
In the Church Of Christ, it’s all you’re going to hear is the commandments of God, which I’ve never heard before. Every single question that I asked, [the minister] got it straight from the Bible.
Why Was I Lied To?
One lesson that was hard for me to accept was one verse in the Bible, “Go to the world and preach the gospel and be baptized, and you will be saved.” At the end of that lesson, I told the minister I was baptized when I was a little baby, and then I felt like I was deceived and knowing that my first baptism didn’t count… Yeah, it really hurt. And I prayed that night too, filled with tears. And just asked God, you know, “Why? Why was I lied to?” I felt deceived.
That’s why all of my prayers were just filled with tears. And then I think it was a worship service about baptism. When I heard ‘baptism’, I knew it was about immersion through water. And then how you’re forgiven of all since the day you were born.
Stronger Than Before
I always get stronger after the worship service. I did my best to try to improve my mental health. My prayers were–it went from just trying to feel better and [to] just give everything to Him and to be stronger. I am stronger than I was before.
God is my strength. He’s the One that gives me strength.
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After finishing all of his Bible study lessons, Felix received the holy baptism on July 31, 2021.
I’m Never Alone
I remember on that night, January 1st, I was on my knees next to my bed and just calling on God that night and just reaching out to Him like, “I’m sorry, Father, for never reaching out to You in my life and that I need You in my life.” Like first–before I didn’t know what to do in my life, you know, have been changing all my careers. I’m studying to be a Barber and my future goals are to take some business classes and have my own shop in the future.
Your plans may not go the way you want but God will make your plans for you because like before, without having Him in my life, like I said, “I was very lost but now that I have Him in my life–I don’t know how to explain it… You can–He’s the best, you know. Now that I’m alive, I know where I’m going and I’m not lost [anymore]. So I just want to be more stronger, more happy.
God is amazing. God is my Father. God is someone you can tell [Him] anything about. You can pray to Him. You can tell Him any situation [you’re going through]. God is the Almighty God. God is love. God is the best to have in your life.
If I never received an invitation from the person that invited me, I feel like my life would have been the same. Smoking every day, going out with friends, sleeping in my room. That’s how my life was back then. But now that I have the Church Of Christ, I know where I’m going and I’m never alone.