Marriage According to God

Brother Richie Juatco: Marriage is a union between two people who become spouses to one another and establish a legal and social relationship with each other. It’s a practice found around the world, in almost all cultures, all throughout time of human existence. But how did this concept come about? And is there a proper and improper way of accomplishing it? 

Stay with us. This is what we’ll study today here on The Message. 

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Brother Richie: Hi, I’m Brother Richie. 

Brother Mark Vasquez: Hi, I’m Brother Mark Vasquez. Although wedding or marriage ceremonies across different societies may vary, the concept of marriage is generally universal. There is no one specific culture, country, or government that can claim to have started the idea of marriage, allowing them to change the concept. So what is marriage according to the Bible, and who established the social institution of marriage? 

Brother Richie: Well, since we want to know what marriage is according to the Bible, we’ll go to the Bible, the very first book of the Bible. We’ll even read the first chapter of that Book, here in Genesis, chapter 1. We’ll read verses 27 to 28, and it says, 

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

[Genesis 1:27-28 New King James Version]

Brother Richie: What we just read is regarding when God created mankind or human beings, the first two people or couple God created. How did God create mankind? We read, “God created man in His own image .”

Brother Mark: Now, Brother Richie, for our viewers, obviously the image being referred to here is not a physical image, because God is a spirit or He’s invisible, but rather the image of being holy and righteous is what the Bible was referring to.

Brother Richie: Correct. What two types or forms of people did God create? We read, “male and female He created them.”  Now what instruction did God give the people He created? God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” So God will use them to continue His creation. They will procreate or reproduce as husband and wife.

Brother Mark: Brother Richie, what is it that God did first before joining them together as husband and wife? 

Brother Richie: Well, before He gave them that instruction, we read that, “God blessed them.” So God is the one who gives the couple the blessing, because God is the One who established and instituted marriage. 

Brother Mark: Correct. The Lord God is the one who established it and contrary to how some people perceive it, marriage is not merely a social construct that a society created. Marriage is also not simply a legal contract that a government produces. Marriage is a religious and spiritual institution that God Himself established. 

Brother Richie: That’s right. So the modern concept of same sex marriage is not only different from what God created, but actually goes entirely against God’s will, because a couple consisting of two completely healthy males or two completely healthy females will not be able to fulfill God’s instruction to continue His creation. Therefore, the proper way to understand the concept of marriage is the way God established. 

Brother Mark: So, Brother Richie, based on the way that God has established marriage, how should people view or how should they consider marriage then? 

Brother Richie: You know, that’s a good question, because we know nowadays, people, the way they look at marriage, they think it’s a negative thing, right? Some people say that it’s a liability, a net negative. But what does the Bible teach? We’ll read here from what’s written in Proverbs 18:22. It says, 

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

[Proverbs 18:22 New King James Version]

Brother Richie: Here we learned that having a spouse or being in a marriage is “a good thing.” 

Why should we view it positively? Well, based on what we read, it means that one “obtains favor from the Lord.”  Or in other words, it’s a blessing from God. 

Brother Mark: There might be some joining us right now in this program thinking, especially those that aren’t married, they might be thinking, “Oh, it’s good for you, but it’s not good for me.” That’s what they might be thinking. 

But according to the Bible, should marriage be viewed positively or considered a good thing only by those who get married? 

Brother Richie: Another good question. You know, that’s a good scenario that you pose. It’s just the married people, that’s good for them. But if one isn’t married, they’re not going to look at it as a good thing.

But what is it that the Bible teaches? We’ll read here from what’s written in Hebrews 13:4, it says, 

Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other…

[Hebrews 13:4 Today’s English Version]

Brother Richie: The biblical instruction is that “Marriage is to be honored by all.” Therefore, everyone should respect and honor the relationship of a married couple.

Brother Mark: Not just the ones who are married.

Brother Richie: That’s right. It should be everyone. Everyone should acknowledge that it’s a good thing and a blessing from God, especially the couple themselves. How should they give honor to their marriage? We read, “husbands and wives must be faithful to each other.” 

Brother Mark: Now, since God is the one who established marriage, He is the one who decides how it should be done. It’s not society or the government, it’s not the friends and the family involved, or even the couple themselves to be married—it is God who sets the conditions on how to receive His blessings. 

Brother Richie: And we learned some of His requirements already. But having the married couple comprised of male and female or man and woman.

Brother Mark: Although that is a fundamental concept.

Brother Richie: That is for sure. That is the fundamental of what we just learned of what God put together. But that is hardly the extent of His instruction or commandment to the couple. God also sets very clear roles and responsibilities for both the husband and the wife, and all the more if children are to be added. 

Brother Mark: You know, Brother Richie, and to all of our viewers, even the wedding or the day the marriage will officially begin, it shouldn’t be done just in any way that we would decide or any people would decide. 

Brother Richie: That’s right. Since it is going to be the day that the couple will receive a blessing from God and the right to be husband and wife, it should be conducted as a worship service to God. Now remember, God established marriage to be a blessing to His people. So, Brother Mark, what instruction does God give so that His people can receive that blessing? 

Brother Mark: Well, if we want to have God’s blessings in marriage, we should follow the rules and the instructions that God gives concerning marriage.

Brother Richie: Correct.

Brother Mark: Let’s read one of those here in the Book of Deuteronomy. We’ll read 7. We’ll read 2 up to verse 4,

… You shall make no covenant with them nor show mercy to them. Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the LORD will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly.

[Deuteronomy 7:2-4 New King James Version]

Brother Mark: The one speaking in these verses is God Himself. What is it that the Lord God instructed? He said, “You shall make no covenant with them … Nor shall you make marriages with them.” Those that God is addressing are His chosen people who are different from the people of the world. 

Brother Richie: That’s correct. Now, it should be understood that although God is the creator of all people, He does not consider all to be His people or in His chosen nation. If we read in Psalm 4:3, He sets people apart to be His. So not everyone He considers His.

Brother Mark: Now notice that God does not allow His people to marry people of the world; what many people call interfaith marriage, or they have different religious beliefs. He doesn’t allow them to come together. 

Brother Richie: And because He doesn’t allow them to come together, who is God expecting to enforce that prohibition that He has? Well, in the verses that we just read, God said, “You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son.” Therefore, God is holding the parents of the families responsible for implementing His prohibition.

Brother Richie: Now, Brother Mark, what if His people, they don’t follow that instruction or that prohibition? What would be the consequence if those inside His nation, they intermarried with those outside of His nation? 

Brother Mark: Some people might think this is just a small thing. They don’t think they have to follow it.

Brother Richie: No big deal.

Brother Richie: Yes. But if we understand the gravity of that sin, if we understand the punishment that’s also involved, then we’ll understand how important that commandment is. Let’s read that here in the Book of Joshua. We’ll read 23. We’ll read 12 up to verse 13,

But if you turn away and ally yourselves with the survivors of these nations that remain among you and if you intermarry with them and associate with them, then you may be sure that the LORD your God will no longer drive out these nations before you. Instead, they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the LORD your God has given you.

[Joshua 23:12-13 New International Version]

Brother Mark: The Bible is very clear about what will become of those from His nation who disobey this prohibition. We read, “if you intermarry with them and associate with them… they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes.”

Brother Richie: Now notice this is very different from what our God intended marriage to be. Remember, marriage is supposed to be a good thing, a favor, or blessing from God. 

Brother Mark: But now we’re learning that, the blessings of marriage, it can’t be obtained just by any way that one would choose. 

Brother Richie: And if a servant of God intermarries with someone outside of His nation, then instead of being a source of joy, it will be a source of pain, sorrow, and many tears, like what was read, “thorns in [one’s] eyes.” Now some might think, why wouldn’t God just protect and guard His people? If these troubles are going to come, why wouldn’t He just keep that away from them? 

Brother Mark: We learned the effect of not following God. We read, “you may be sure that the LORD your God will no longer drive out these nations before you.” Those who disobey God and intermarry with those outside His nation, they’ll forfeit the protection of God that He gives to His people from dangers and the influence of the world. 

Brother Richie: Now, you know, there might be those that are listening and saying that, “Okay, we understand that’s what God had before. Now is this policy of God, regarding the marriage of His people, enforced only before, in ancient times for His nation, Israel? Because, you know, some say that this is a completely different era, this day and age.

Brother Mark: It’s a different time

Brother Richie: Right? So they might look at this as, you know, that’s before. Has God’s prohibition continued to our time, the Christian era? 

Brother Mark: We’ll see from the Bible if it truly is outdated, because now we have the Lord Jesus Christ. So now during the Christian era, is this considered outdated, God’s prohibition concerning marrying those of a different faith? Well, let’s read here in the Bible. We’ll read God’s laws for our time in the Book of Second Corinthians, we’ll read 6:14 until 15,

Do not unite in marriage with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what mingling has light with darkness? Or what accord has Christ with Satan? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever?

[II Corinthians 6:14-15 George M. Lamsa Translation]

Brother Mark: Here we clearly read God’s instruction

to his people through the apostles. And what is it that God forbids? We read,

“do not unite in marriage with unbelievers.”

Brother Richie: Brother Mark, why is that? Why does God instruct those inside the Church, which is His nation today, not to unite in marriage with those outside the church?

Brother Mark: The Bible makes it clear. It says, “what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity?  Or what mingling has light with darkness? Or what accord has Christ with Satan? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever?” Obviously, these are rhetorical questions. What is the clear message of God’s words? A believer and an unbeliever—they do not go together. 

Brother Richie: They don’t go together. Now, some argue that they do. There are some that say, although one is not a member of the Church, “The two make such a good couple. They seem like they’re made for each other.” But clearly by God’s standards they are not, because God is the one who prohibits it. 

Brother Mark: You know, Brother Richard, they might even say, “Oh, we get along together. We have a good relationship with each other.” But what’s being broken isn’t the relationship with each other. What’s being broken is their relationship with the Lord God in heaven. 

And even others will argue, “Well, my church has no such prohibition. I can marry whoever I want in my church. In my church, marrying outside your faith is allowed.” That’s what they might claim.

Brother Richie: Yeah, and that might be true, but it would mean that the church allowing that is not the church in the Bible. The biblical church obeys and implements all the teachings of God written in the Holy Scriptures. 

Brother Mark: And that’s the reason why inside of the Church Of Christ, this prohibition of God regarding not marrying those outside of the Church, that’s the exact reason why this is upheld. 

Brother Richie: We want to make clear, if a member of the Church Of Christ chooses not to marry someone because he or she is not a member of the Church, it is because that member chooses to obey God’s prohibition.

Brother Mark: A marriage acceptable to God is a marriage filled with His blessings and guidance, which is needed for a marriage to be successful. The Lord God in heaven should be involved in the marriage between the husband and the wife.

Brother Richie: And following God’s guidance, when entering into marriage and all throughout married life, is what the members of the Church Of Christ strive to do.

Brother Mark: Brother Richie, maybe you and our viewers have heard this. Some people would say, “Just follow and trust your heart.” Have you heard that before? 

Brother Richie: A lot of people actually believe in that concept.

Brother Mark: So they might think that just trusting in one’s heart is all they have to do. But according to the Bible, what should we trust more than our heart? What is it that servants of God, where should they place their trust? 

Brother Richie: Well, if we want to know what really to trust, what is trustworthy, let’s read from what’s written here in Proverbs 3. We’ll read 5 to 7. Here it says, 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil.

[Proverbs 3:5-7 New King James Version]

Brother Richie: According to what we’ve read, the Bible teaches us here, ”lean not on your own understanding.” “Do not be wise in your own eyes.” This requires, of course, a certain level of humility to accomplish.

Brother Mark: So if we can’t just rely on ourselves, our own wisdom, our own understanding, or even our own feelings, who and what is it that we should trust in?

Brother Richie: Well, the Bible taught us very clearly, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart.” Now, how do we prove that we’re doing that? The Bible says, ”In all your ways acknowledge Him.” So in every way that we live, in every action that we take, we should think first and make sure, is it according to God’s teachings? 

Brother Mark: What benefit or blessing does one receive when we put our trust and our hope in God and His words? 

Brother Richie: Well, we did read that, “He shall direct your paths.” So trusting in God and obeying His commands and instructions will result in God directing our lives. And when it comes to entering into married life, we definitely want God’s guidance and direction. 

Brother Mark: One might think, “But isn’t the spouse going to be for me? It’s an important decision. I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with this person. What about me and what I need?” So the question is, Brother Richie, why should we follow God’s commands when it comes to who we would marry? 

Brother Richie: That’s a good question. Let’s get the answer from what’s written in Proverbs 19, we’ll read 14. It says this,

House and land are handed down from parents, but a congenial spouse comes straight from GOD.

[Proverbs 19:14 The Message]

Brother Richie: The biblical truth is that “a congenial spouse,” or in other words, a suitable partner, someone perfect for us, we read, “comes straight out from God.” God is the one, then, whom His servants should pray to and request the blessing of a spouse, or someone to marry. Here inside the Church Of Christ, those looking for a suitable partner to marry are advised to conduct devotional prayers for it. The one that God blesses His people with come from within His nation or the Church Of Christ.

Brother Mark: And those who are to be married inside the Church will also undergo wedding seminars in order to be taught and learn God’s instruction for the husband and the wife, in order to receive God’s blessings all throughout married life.

Brother Mark: To further encourage you in your journey of learning more about the true faith, let’s take a look at this short, inspiring video. 

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Voice Over: In the Church Of Christ, married couples are provided a solid support system to help them face the challenges ahead.

Rashad: You know, we come from families that have some bad relationships. You know, our moms and dads didn’t have the, you know, best relationships. So, of course, we want to start something and build something brand new. At the same time, God is helping us renew our lives. So all this renewing and new is all intertwined in it. And if you know we don’t take advantage of it, then it’s just our loss.

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An organization for married couples 

Voiceover: In the Church Of Christ, married couples have access to: 

An organization for married couples where they are surrounded by other couples who are facing similar challenges and want the guidance of God to overcome them. The organization regularly schedules workshops, meetings and activities to help strengthen the bond of marriage.

Jasmine San Pedro: It’s very inspiring because we see, you know, the younger newlyweds, along with the older brethren who are married and have been married for many years, despite the differences in age, you can see that their love for each other is still very evident.

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Darryl & Jasmine San Pedro, Married since 2019

Mary: And it’s great to have that from somebody else who might be going through a similar situation as you. We’re looking to relate to another couple, maybe have our children grow up together, you know, a family dynamic, community dynamic. So it’s very important to keep that in the faith.

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Rashad & Mary Christmas, Joined the INC in 2022

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Worship service lessons to remind couples of their vows

Voiceover: 2. Worship service lessons to remind couples of the vows they took on their wedding day and help bring them closer to God.

Maricar Crisostomo: Especially in our first year of marriage, we went through so many struggles and challenges. We moved from our hometown and home state over to a completely different area where we barely had any family or any friends. During the worship services we’re given hope and peace that everything is going to be okay.

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John Michael & Maricar Crisostomo, Married Since 2021

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A podcast dedicated to newlyweds

Voiceover: 3. A podcast dedicated to newlyweds to hear and learn from other Christians who are navigating married life.

Voiceover: Make sure that your relationship is right with God. So always consult God first to your devotional prayers and for sure, God will lead you.

Mary: There’s a new set of rules that you have to abide by,  your rules for your marriage, God’s rules for your marriage, you know. And you want to make sure that your rules for your marriage coincide with His. So a podcast is a good reminder, you know. It’s something you can listen to in your car, while you’re doing chores, you know, on the way to things with your kids. It’s just instant access to God, really.

Joshua: Sometimes, you know, you need that, you really need that experience for other people to tell you what to look out for.

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Joshua & Elvira Stirba, Married since 2022

Elvira Stirba: So having a podcast like that will help again, with guidance and maybe have you go to the right people and having questions that are kind of unique that not many can answer. So that that would be very helpful and, you know, insightful as well.

Voiceover: In the Church Of Christ, ministers of the gospel are also available to counsel Christian couples looking for help navigating conflicts that come up in a marriage.

Mary: The advice and the counsel that we get is strictly Bible-based. It’s truth. So it helps in a lot to kind of dismantle all the other negative things that might possibly be going on. So you can grab on to the light and the positivity, you know. And I think that, it’s just really important.

Voiceover: Marriage is a lifelong commitment and one that is certain to have challenges. So if you’re looking to build a solid foundation for your marriage, one that doesn’t crumble the moment life gets difficult, then maybe it’s time to discover how the Church Of Christ can bring you the support and biblical guidance you need to solidify your marriage and bring you both closer to God.

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Rashad & Mary Christmas, Joined the INC in 2022

Rashad: I’ve seen my parents, I’ve seen couples in my family, my friends, and I’ve seen reality shows. I’ve seen celebrity marriages and all types of things in this world. But to really buckle down and see what the scriptures say about my role as a husband and then, you know, she gets to see her role as a wife. But getting into this seminar, learning our roles and learning how our relationship is supposed to be, is exciting. It’s beneficial. And what a time to take this ride and understand what your role should be so you can receive all the fruits from the relationship rather than just letting it just wither away.

Voiceover: Set up a time with a minister of the gospel and discover how a marriage guided by God can change your life.

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Brother Richie: We hope this video inspires and encourages you to keep learning more of God’s written word taught here inside the Church Of Christ. 

Brother Mark: Come visit a congregation near you. Or if you want, ask us a question now, by clicking the link in the description and inquire how to listen to the basic teachings of the Bible.

Brother Richie: And if you’re going through those lessons already, or wherever you are in your spiritual journey, we hope that the message that you heard today has brought you closer to God and deepened your understanding of His truth taught here inside the Church Of Christ. 

Your journey doesn’t stop here. Keep watching, growing with us, and stay constantly tuned into The Message, a reminder of God’s words recorded in Colossians 1:23. 

On behalf of all of us here at The Message, we’re very grateful for you joining us in this episode. But before we conclude, please join us for a short prayer.

Brother Mark: Our Father in heaven. Thank You very much. You gave us a wonderful opportunity. We were able to receive Your words of truth. Since you are the most important One in our life, and we want you involved in our life, in everything we do, we ask of you together, may You help all of us, especially when it comes to the decision of marriage.

Please help all of us to remember these teachings of Yours. May we all make good decisions based on Your holy teachings. And we have faith that when we do follow Your words of truth, You will be the One to bless our future. 

So please, especially bless those who are deciding in their life when it comes to the steps regarding marriage. Allow them to be introduced to the proper people, the ones who will bring us all the more closer to You. And we know that we are closer to You when we are able to obey Your commandments, which are written in the Bible. 

If there is anyone who is confused, please give them the understanding that comes from You. And we have faith that those who are already married will continue to enjoy Your blessings, that You give to those who follow all of Your commands.

Our Lord and our Savior, Jesus Christ. Lord. Please help us to always follow Your wonderful example, to deny ourselves if necessary, to be able to follow the will of the Father. Please grant us strength, Lord Jesus, and please teach us to be more like You.

Father in heaven, we have faith You will bless all of us who are able to receive Your words. You will bless our future, and please also bless those who lead and guide us, especially our Executive Minister, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo.  Please bless with him our Deputy Executive Minister, Brother Angelo Eraño Manalo. Thank you for listening to our prayer.

We pray this in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Amen.

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