. . . even when you’re young
“People do not see the faith in me, but I would actually always ask God a countless amount of questions.”
Sen Dineros is like many young Christians. The 20-year-old from Santa Maria, California, who graduated in 2020 in the thick of the pandemic, turns to God through prayer when feeling self-disappointment. “It really comforts me to know that although I cannot see Him, He is listening and will answer no matter how long the reply takes.”
Parker Bastero, a 14-year-old from Seattle, Washington, also has a positive approach to dealing with failure: “When things don’t go my way I try not to automatically assume things aren’t working out in my favor. I remind myself to see my mistakes and failures as something new and something to grow from. The faster I focus on what’s ahead of me, the faster I can reach my goals and what I want for myself.”
It’s great to hear positivity and resilience from young people. This generation is often criticized for being hypersensitive and lacking in grit. But I know more disappointments are always around the corner—disagreements with friends, career plans not turning the way you hoped for, experiences falling short of expectations—there’s always something that will test resilience.
So how can a young person confidently prepare for disappointment when they eventually come your way?
But first, what does it mean to be disappointed?
Webster’s dictionary defines “disappoint” as failing to meet the expectation or hope of.
Sometimes the disappointment can be so heavy that feelings of sadness, regret, and a less than hopeful outlook on the future emerge.
Sounds pretty familiar right? It should. We’ve all been there.
Navigating feelings of disappointment
I’m not speaking in hyperboles when I say that feelings of disappointment were abundant these past few years. At the beginning of 2020, my youngest child just turned one and my 5-year-old was in the middle of preschool. And then all of a sudden, the world shut down and their childhood adventures were put on pause. As a mom, I was disappointed and sad for them but we got through it.
But one of the greatest groups affected by disappointment is the generation between the ages of 12 and 24, otherwise known as Gen Z (though I know that’s a term that you don’t call yourself).
In today’s challenging environment, it’s hard for me to imagine how it must feel to be accused of being too consumed with social media and out of touch with interpersonal connections. Honestly, it’s no wonder you’re known as the saddest generation.
A note to fellow non-Gen Z readers
Before I continue, my dear young people, I want to take a minute to talk to my fellow millennials and Gen-Xers who may also be reading this right now. I will be the first to admit that there is still a lot I don’t understand about this next generation. Sure, I follow recipes I see on TikTok, I wear combat boots, and fan-girl about BTS, but I honestly don’t get a lot of the things Gen Z is doing.
But contrary to what we may think, Gen Z might just see the world differently than we do. According to Christianity Today, “Gen Z sees the world in all its brokenness.” Older generations see them scrolling and taking in image after image, but they’re actually absorbing what’s going on in the world around them bit by bit, in easy-to-digest images and captions. But an article from The Annie E. Casey Foundation cites that “Growing up in a hyper-connected world can evoke intense feelings of isolation and loneliness in some youth.”
While this generation has a definite awareness of the world, the fact that they may be experiencing this alone, with only their followers to console them is isolating. The shift in communication between in-person interaction and phone calls to the more convenient text messaging has left a whole generation hiding behind screens. (I mean, even I don’t like talking on the phone anymore!) But this shift has caused a whole slew of potential problems from bullying to catfishing, that we only dealt with in person.
So to you 12 to 24-year-olds: We see you and we hear you!
Life is hard. But we hope that we can share a bit of knowledge to help you face disappointment when it feels like nothing is going the way you expected.
1. Learn to distinguish between aesthetics and reality
When the pandemic was in full swing, almost everyone was behind screens, working and learning from home. Where does this all leave you, now that the world is slowly, so slowly, opening back up? The New York Post calls your generation “‘hollowed out,’ a generation living solitary lives, hyperconnected to technology but unattached from their families, churches or communities.”
So what do you do when you find yourself experiencing disappointment? Most people will turn to social media to see how others deal. I get it. It’s easy (even for me) to get caught up in others’ aesthetics and curated feeds, and think “why do they have it so easy?”
Lysette Anselmo, a 23-year-old from Daly City, California, says “you also see posts that just kill your vibe or makes you lose your hope in humanity and yourself, and instead of trying to make you aware of things, it hinders yourself in trying to look for hope…I’ve learned at an early age that I’m always going to have disappointments, so I just learn to not have high expectations and not dwell on it.”
Learn to recognize the difference between real-life disappointments and feeling disappointment caused by a filtered post on social media.
Ask yourself questions like
- Do I really know who this person is?
- Does this person have easier access to resources to present this image?
- What challenges are going on in my life right now that I can take control of?
- Will seeing this image motivate me to address my own disappointments head-on?
Or, if you find yourself constantly falling into the trap of comparing yourself to what you see on social media, do what many your age are now doing. Log out and do something else healthier.
2. Stay Connected and Talk to Someone (IRL)
I won’t beat around the bush here. This generation is going through a very rough time. According to the New York Times, “Teen depression rose 63 per cent from 2007 to 2017 while teen suicide grew 56 per cent…suicide has become the second leading cause of death for the young.”
18-year-old Kiara Rabara from Miami, Florida reflects on this reality and sees it as a way to mask what’s really going on inside. “It is sad to hear how prevalent and common depression and suicide are, and growing up I’ve also had friends that suffered [from] depression and would even consider or participate in self-harm, and sometimes we fail to notice the signs until it’s too late.”
On the other side of this, Gen Z is outspoken. 23-year-old Lysette Anselmo also mentions “When we see problems, we want to see and feel change because we can’t just wait around for nothing.”
You, like anyone really, crave someone to listen to you. It’s no wonder that your generation is willing to speak vulnerably regarding mental health. I know when I was your age, my peers and I rarely talked about mental well-being, self-care, etc. It was just not talked about. Thankfully times have changed.
Young Christians in the Church Of Christ have added support when it comes to facing these internal battles. Not only do you have a community of peers who are going through similar experiences, but you also have around-the-clock advice resources in the person of a minister of the gospel.
The Church Administration acknowledges the need for youth counseling. With atheism on the rise among young people, it’s more important than ever to encourage a spiritual relationship with God.
Consulting with a minister is simple. Their speciality is to answer questions from the Bible and offer spiritual support to anyone who wants to talk in-depth about their faith. It isn’t wrong to want to learn more or to ask for clarification. Investing time to solidify your beliefs will help you feel confident about the basis of your faith. Not only that, seeking out biblical support for life’s disappointments is a part of growing in your spiritual maturity.
(I’ve been on the receiving end of such talks and I always come out stronger and more equipped to face the challenges ahead.)
And for the moments you need a last-minute reminder, there’s an entire playlist on Youtube featuring inspiring verses to give you that much-needed bolt of inspiration and guidance, no matter the time of day.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH VERSE OF THE WEEK
While the isolation caused by the pandemic has caused damage to our well-being, hope is still within your reach. Discouraging feelings of disappointment are inevitable, but not only are there people willing to listen and offer sound advice, but God is also just a prayer away.
Sen Dineros sums it up by saying, “It really comforts me to know that although I cannot see Him, He is listening and will answer no matter how long the reply takes.”
3. Stay Inspired with Christian Media
As a mom of two young kids, part of my job is to prepare the tools my kids need to have a strong footing as Christians. The disappointments of my youth were worlds different and less public. The stressors now are magnified because images of false perfection are everywhere and very accessible.
But thankfully, inspiring and fulfilling content is also just as accessible. Take the website you’re on for example. You’ll find programs created specifically with you in mind including
- Heart and Soul: A podcast where people your age have real conversations about love and relationships, guided by the words of God.
- Faith Speaks Short videos from your peers who found purpose through life’s toughest moments.
- The Solution: Biblical responses and solutions to life problems.
And if you’re looking for someone to talk to or have biblical questions you want to be answered, you can do that on the website as well. Email us at info@incmedia.org and we’ll get back to you.
So, Gen Z (Or the future generation of leaders, innovators, poets, ministers, parents, etc), don’t believe the filters. You’re doing your best. Seek guidance when you need it. And we’re listening.
We’re cheering you on!
