FAITH & FAMILY
“Marriage: A Work of Love “
Marriage is amazing and wonderful. But on the other hand it is also complex, and difficult. So when a marriage becomes difficult, distant or unhappy, is the option fight or flight?
Despite the imperfections your spouse may have, the things you fell in love with are still there. We’re in it for the long haul. Love takes work. It’s more than a feeling, it’s an action, and a choice. But why are so many people choosing to walk away? Is giving up the only way to fix things? If a marriage is on its knees, can it still rise up?
Marriage is not easy. It is alot like exercise. You need to work at it every day to be intentional about your marriage. Most people don’t take it lightly, but they sure do let go pretty easy.
Letting go may be easy, but the damaging effects on children with divorce covers an array of things. Oftentimes, the family can’t live where they were living. What started as one household—now becomes separate two households. So the children have to move out of their neighborhood and go to a different school. It’s devastating. So it’s not just one loss—they’re having multiple losses, which ends up being like that triple-down effect.
The common reasons for divorce, oftentimes are about finances, sex—not enough, too much, infidelity, not listening to the other person, not compromising. What it all boils down to is communication and putting in the effort to truly work on loving each other more than loving yourself.
Truth is love and truth is power, and we absolutely need to teach our spouse and train our spouse—what we need, what we like, what we don’t like. And sometimes those are very difficult conversations, but it’s in the way that you say that. And when you take ownership. That’s the work of love that must be put in.
People think you’re supposed to read each others’ minds. Absolutely not. We need to share with each other what our needs and what our wants are. And again, in a respectful, honorable way.
Even if one person humbles themselves and does the work, and learns some tools, the relationship can improve and change for the better. Those marriages are even better than they were, and that’s part of the journey of marriage.
(Transcript from “Saving Marriage” Faith & Family Episode)