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Category: Christian Relationships

Planting Trees For Cleaner Air in New Jersey

Planting Trees For Cleaner Air in New Jersey

INC Giving Volunteers from throughout New Jersey joined the Urban Airshed Reforestation Program and New Jersey Tree Foundation to plant trees and bring positive growth and cleaner air to their neighborhoods.


Show/Hide Transcript

Planting Trees For Cleaner Air in New Jersey

[show open]

Karina Garcia: Pride in where you live is where it all starts. And it starts a lot of changes in your own neighborhood. 

Lois Paula: As a new homeowner in Camden, New Jersey, Karina wanted to be involved in improving her neighborhood. 

Karina Garcia: I love all my neighbors. I talk to all my neighbors. And I live in a neighborhood that I know it can be great and it will be great. It’s just taking a little time.

Lois Paula: New Jersey’s 152 million tree canopies remove over 30,000 metric tons of harmful air pollution annually, covering 44% of the state. Camden is one of the urban areas that are lacking those environmental benefits with an 8.1% average in coverage.

Meredith Pichini: It’s a community effort. Everyone came together to work.

Lois Paula: That’s why when Karina coordinated a tree planting effort with the Urban Airshed Reforestation Program, INC Giving Volunteers dug deep with the community.

Meredith Pichini: Volunteers came from all over including your church to plant today. We were actually done in less than an hour because of the hard work of our volunteers and residents. 

Lois Paula:  INC Giving Volunteers from Newark, New Jersey were also able to share the experience of planting trees through the New Jersey Tree Foundation.

Cristal Wessel: It really brings the community together and gets everyone working together towards a common goal of planting trees.

Meredith Pichini It’s a fun way to make a difference. These trees–they really are environmental powerhouses. 

Lois Paula: And in planting trees, new growth was made within the volunteers and the community

Coordinator: Beautiful part is–this is the last tree you did right? It’s a nice way to remember your beautiful day out here in Newark.

Karina Garcia: I was happy. I loved it, you know, faces I’ve never seen before, faces that are all welcome–because it brings everybody together. It’s for a good cause. 

Rose Apelacio: I hope that we see more of it because it was a very fun experience. And being able to help and cooperate with others was a very rewarding experience as well. 

Chelsea Bautista: It’s important to give back to the community that you’re from, and we did that by planting trees, beautifying our environment. It’s important to take care of your surroundings, not just aesthetically, but also being mindful of how that affects everyone around you. 

Lois Paula: A sense of community and appreciation could be felt across the neighborhoods thanks to the  opportunity for volunteers and residents to join together.

Cristal Wessel: So, first and foremost thank you so much. We literally cannot do these tree plantings without the help of volunteers.

Meredith Pichini: First off, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s Volunteer Appreciation Week and we really appreciate all that volunteers do to make this happen. It wouldn’t happen without you.

Karina Garcia: Thank you, thank you so much. It just means a lot to have people come to somewhere where they’re not from, somewhere where it doesn’t directly impact them and to do something good, anyway.

[show close]

Posted in Christian Living, Christian Relationships, INC Giving, Video

La Importancia Del Servicio De Adoración

La Importancia Del Servicio De Adoración

Hay muchas personas hoy en día que están dejando sus religiones y perdiendo su fe en Dios. Y aunque otros dicen que todavía creen en Dios, ellos no asisten a los servicios de adoración, porque piensan que los servicios de adoración a Dios no son necesarios, o dan mayor importancia a sus prioridades personales. ¿Pero la Biblia está de acuerdo con ellos?

There are many people today who are leaving their religions and losing their faith in God. And even if others say that they still believe in God, they do not attend worship services, because they think that worship services to God are not necessary, or they give greater importance to their personal priorities. But does the Bible agree with them?


Show/Hide Transcript

La Importancia del Servicio de Adoración

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Hay muchas personas hoy en día que están dejando sus religiones y perdiendo su fe en Dios. Y aunque otros dicen que todavía creen en Dios, ellos no asisten a los servicios de adoración, porque piensan que los servicios de adoración a Dios no son necesarios, o dan mayor importancia a sus prioridades personales. ¿Pero la Biblia está de acuerdo con ellos?

Soy Daryll Domingo y el tema de hoy es sobre La Importancia del Servicio de Adoración. Bienvenidos a El Mensaje.

[Mostrar Abierto]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Una de las obligaciones más importantes de los verdaderos siervos de Dios es adorar a Dios. Esa es la razón por la que debemos asistir a los servicios de adoración en la Iglesia De Cristo, sea cual sea el día y la hora en los que se establezcan. Damos mucha importancia a nuestros servicios de adoración, por eso, aunque haya obstáculos, seguimos esforzándonos para asistir a nuestros servicios de adoración. Sabemos que el Señor Dios nos espera durante estas sagradas ocasiones en las que Le alabamos, Le damos gracias y Le glorificamos. 

Pero, ¿Por qué no debemos abandonar ni olvidar nunca esta obligación que tenemos a Dios?

¿Por qué  es el deber de todos los verdaderos siervos de Dios adorar a Dios? Esto es lo que podemos leer en Juan 4:23,

Pero la hora viene, y ahora es, cuando los verdaderos adoradores adorarán al Padre en espíritu y en verdad; porque ciertamente a los tales el Padre busca que le adoren.

[Juan 4:23 La Biblia de las Américas]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: El Padre, nuestro Dios, es quien busca a los verdaderos adoradores. 

¿Qué debemos entender sobre esta declaración en este versículo que el Padre busca a los verdaderos adoradores que Le adoren? Que no todos los que Le adoran son verdaderos adoradores. Por tanto, lo que otros dicen que toda clase y manera de adoración son aceptadas por Dios no es verdad. ¿Por qué?

¿Qué adorador será considerado digno y buscado por Dios? Los verdaderos adoradores. ¿Quiénes son los verdaderos adoradores? Son los que tienen el derecho y privilegio de adorar. ¿Por qué tienen ese derecho y el privilegio? Porque ya fueron redimidos o limpiados por la sangre de Cristo cuando se unieron para ser miembros de la Iglesia De Cristo. Y podemos leer esto en Hebreos 9:14 y Hechos 20:28 Lamsa.

Pero, ¿Cuál es la autoridad y poder de Dios para obligarnos a adorarle? Vamos a leer esto en Salmos 95:6-7, 

Vengan, adoremos y postrémonos;

Doblemos la rodilla ante el Señor nuestro Hacedor.

Porque El es nuestro Dios,

Y nosotros el pueblo de Su prado y las ovejas de Su mano.

Si ustedes oyen hoy Su voz,

[Salmos 95:6-7 Nueva Biblia Latinoamericana de Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Es la obligación inherente de los creados adorar a su Creador. Sin embargo, ya que el mundo ha dado la espalda a Dios, ¿a quién espera Dios ahora que Le rinda la verdadera adoración? A los miembros de la Iglesia De Cristo que son Su pueblo en estos últimos días. 

Pero, ¿Dónde adoran los siervos de Dios? En Salmos 5:7,

Mas yo por la abundancia de tu misericordia entraré en tu casa;

Adoraré hacia tu santo templo en tu temor.

[Salmos 5:7 Reina-Valera 1960]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: El “templo” mencionado en este versículo equivale a la casa de adoración en nuestro tiempo. Por tanto, los que adoran al Señor Dios deben estar dentro de la casa o lugar de adoración.

¿Qué adoración se realiza dentro de la casa o lugar de adoración y cómo se lleva a cabo esto? En I Corintios 14:26 y 15,

¿Qué hay que hacer, pues, hermanos? Cuando se reúnan, cada cual aporte salmo, enseñanza, revelación, lenguas o interpretación. Que todo se haga para edificación. 

Entonces ¿qué? Oraré con el espíritu, pero también oraré con el entendimiento. Cantaré con el espíritu, pero también cantaré con el entendimiento.

[I Corintios 14:26 y 15 Nueva Biblia Latinoamericana de Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: ¿Cuál es la adoración que se lleva a cabo dentro de la casa de adoración? Eso es cuando los hermanos se reúnen o se congregan y cantan himnos, oran y estudian las palabras de Dios juntos.

Por eso, el programa de nuestro servicio de adoración en la Iglesia De Cristo cada vez que nos reunimos dentro de la casa de adoración no es una cosa nueva. Eso también era el programa o la manera del servicio de adoración en congregación de los primeros cristianos. Hay oraciones, salmos, estudio de las palabras de Dios, instrucciones y ofrendas. No debemos abandonar nunca o dejar de realizar estas partes de nuestro servicio de adoración. ¿Por qué?

¿Qué tan importantes son nuestros servicios de adoración al verdadero Dios? ¿Cuál es la estricta instrucción de los apóstoles sobre estas reuniones de los siervos de Dios? En Hebreos 10:25, esto es lo que podemos leer: 

No dejemos de asistir a nuestras reuniones, como hacen algunos, sino animémonos unos a otros; tanto más cuanto que vemos que el día del Señor se acerca.

[Hebreos 10:25 Dios Habla Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: ¿Cuál es la instrucción de los apóstoles sobre las reuniones o adoración de los siervos de Dios? Que no dejemos de asistir a las reuniones o a los servicios de adoración. Por lo tanto, es un pecado abandonar los servicios de adoración a Dios.

Pero ¿Cuándo llevaron a cabo sus servicios de adoración los miembros de la Iglesia De Cristo en el  primer siglo? En Hechos 20:7, esto es lo que podemos leer:

El primer día de la semana nos reunimos para partir el pan, y Pablo estuvo hablando a los creyentes. Como tenía que salir al día siguiente, prolongó su discurso hasta la medianoche.

[Hechos 20:7 Dios Habla Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: ¿Cuál es el primer día de la semana que se refiere? De acuerdo con Hechos 20:7 en Nueva Biblia Viva, eso se refiere a Domingo.

Por tanto, el servicio de adoración que la Iglesia De Cristo lleva a cabo cada domingo no es una cosa nueva porque la Iglesia en el primer siglo realizaba sus reuniones o sus servicios de adoración el mismo día.

Pero ¿Por qué hoy en día hay otros días de servicio de adoración en la verdadera Iglesia De Cristo? ¿Acaso hubo algún momento en la Iglesia del primer siglo cuando se llevó a cabo sus servicios de adoración otro día que no fuera domingo? Leamos aqui en Hechos 2:46,

Todos los días se reunían en el templo, y en las casas partían el pan y comían juntos con alegría y sencillez de corazón.

[Hechos 2:46 Dios Habla Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: La Iglesia del primer siglo también llevó a cabo servicios de adoración en días que no era un domingo. De hecho, hubo momentos en el que sus reuniones en el templo eran diarias. La Administración nombrada por Dios en la Iglesia decide sobre este asunto tan importante. Por eso, cualquier día u hora en el que se establezca el servicio de adoración, es muy importante que no lo descuidemos.

¿Cuál es la autoridad de la Administración de la Iglesia en establecer el día u hora del servicio de adoración? En Mateo 18:19, esto es lo que podemos leer:

“Además les digo, que si dos de ustedes se ponen de acuerdo sobre cualquier cosa que pidan aquí en la tierra, les será hecho por Mi Padre que está en los cielos.

[Mateo 18:19 Nueva Biblia Latinoamericana de Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Nuestro Señor Jesucristo estaba hablando con los apóstoles a quienes Él había confiado la administración de la Iglesia cuando Él ascendió al cielo. Él les dio la autoridad de decidir por la Iglesia.

Esa es la razón por la que la Administración de la Iglesia tiene la autoridad de decidir en asuntos sobre nuestros servicios de adoración a Dios, tales como el establecimiento del día y la hora para nuestros servicios de adoración. ¿Y cuál es la prueba de esto? Su decisión es aprobada o hecha por Dios en los cielos. Por tanto, rendiremos cuentas a Dios si abandonamos el servicio de adoración.

Algunos pueden decir que quieren adorar, pero se han mudado a otro lugar y no saben dónde está la casa de adoración. Es por eso que no han podido asistir a los servicios de adoración. ¿Es esa una excusa válida para no asistir al servicio de adoración? ¿Cuál es la estricta instrucción de Dios para que no abandonemos el servicio de adoración? En Deuteronomio 12:5,

sino que buscarán al Señor en el lugar en que el Señor su Dios escoja de todas sus tribus, para poner allí Su nombre para Su morada, y allí ustedes irán.

[Deuteronomio 12:5 Nueva Biblia Latinoamericana de Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: ¿Cuál es la estricta instrucción para que no abandonemos el servicio de adoración? Dondequiera que vivamos o trabajemos, debemos buscar primero el lugar de adoración de la Iglesia De Cristo.

Por lo tanto, debemos hacer un esfuerzo para averiguar dónde está el lugar de adoración y a qué hora son los servicios de adoración.

¿Cuál es la advertencia de Dios a los que abandonan el servicio de adoración? En Hebreos 10:25-27,

No dejemos de asistir a nuestras reuniones, como hacen algunos, sino animémonos unos a otros; y tanto más cuanto que vemos que el día del Señor se acerca.

Porque si seguimos pecando intencionalmente después de haber conocido la verdad, ya no queda más sacrificio por los pecados; solamente nos queda la terrible amenaza del juicio y del fuego ardiente que destruirá a los enemigos de Dios.

[Hebreos 10:25-27 Dios Habla Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Dejar el servicio de adoración es un grave pecado. ¿Cuál es la prueba de esto? Dios castigará severamente a los que lo hacen. Serán consumidos por el fuego en el Día del Juicio. Esta es la razón por la que siempre debemos asistir a nuestros servicios de adoración.

¿Qué pasa si alguien dice que tiene una buena razón para no seguir el mandato de adorar? ¿Acaso Cristo aceptará las excusas de los que faltan al servicio de adoración? En Lucas 9:59-62, podemos leer la respuesta

A otro dijo: Sígueme. Pero él dijo: Señor, permíteme que vaya primero a enterrar a mi padre. Mas El le dijo: Deja que los muertos entierren a sus muertos; pero tú, ve y anuncia por todas partes el reino de Dios. También otro dijo: Te seguiré, Señor; pero primero permíteme despedirme de los de mi casa. Pero Jesús le dijo: Nadie, que después de poner la mano en el arado mira atrás, es apto para el reino de Dios.

[Lucas 9:59-62 La Biblia de las Américas]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Cristo se dirigía aquí a aquellos que les instruyó que Le siguieran pero dieron excusas. Había cosas que querían anteponer a la obediencia. Aunque no es incorrecto, por ejemplo, enterrar a un padre fallecido o atender a los invitados en nuestro hogar, es incorrecto si priorizamos estas cosas por encima de nuestra obligación de cumplir con nuestros deberes, uno de los cuales es nuestro deber como verdaderos seguidores de Cristo de adorar a Dios.

No debemos dar excusas. Los que dan excusas no serán dignos del reino de Dios.

Debemos dar siempre prioridad a la obediencia: nuestra adoración y servicio a Dios. Nuestra adoración a Dios no debe ser obstaculizada por el trabajo, por la escuela y otras preocupaciones en la vida. Los que dan excusas no serán aceptados por Cristo y ciertamente no serán dignos del reino de Dios.

Algunos podrían estar pensando que pasar tiempo en el servicio de adoración es solo una pérdida de tiempo. ¿Es eso cierto? ¿Cuál es la bendición que recibiremos? ¿Que nos prometió Cristo cada vez que estemos reunidos durante nuestros servicios de adoración? En Mateo 18:20, esto es lo que podemos leer:

Porque donde dos o tres se reúnen en mi nombre, allí estoy yo en medio de ellos.

[Mateo 18:20 Dios Habla Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: La reunión en la que Cristo estará allí es la que se hace en Su nombre. Por tanto, estamos seguros de que el Señor Jesucristo estará presente en el servicio de adoración de los miembros de la Iglesia De Cristo.

Todos debemos siempre anhelar poder sentir la presencia de Cristo durante nuestro servicio de adoración.

Pero, ¿cómo estará Cristo con nosotros en nuestro servicio de adoración, ya que sabemos que ya está en el cielo? En Gálatas 4:6, esto es lo que podemos leer:

Y porque ustedes son hijos, Dios ha enviado el Espíritu de Su Hijo a nuestros corazones, clamando: “¡Abba! ¡Padre!”

[Gálatas 4:6 Nueva Biblia Latinoamericana de Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Nuestro Señor Jesucristo estará con nosotros por medio del Espíritu que es enviado a nuestros corazones durante nuestros servicios de adoración.

Debemos esforzarnos para que el Espíritu Santo more en nosotros o que lo sintamos cada vez que asistimos al servicio de adoración.

¿Qué tan importante es que el Espíritu more en nosotros? Efesios 3:16-18,

Pido al Padre que de su gloriosa riqueza les dé a ustedes, interiormente, poder y fuerza por medio del Espíritu de Dios, que Cristo viva en sus corazones por la fe, y que el amor sea la raíz y el fundamento de sus vidas. Y que así puedan comprender con todo el pueblo santo cuán ancho, largo, alto y profundo es el amor de Cristo.

[Efesios 3:16-18 Dios Habla Hoy]

Hermano Daryll Domingo: Por tanto, nuestro servicio de adoración debe traer fortaleza a nuestra fe. Esto sucederá si adoramos a Dios solemnemente y nos preparamos a nosotros mismos en recibir Sus bendiciones.

Se les concede gran bendición a los que asisten al servicio de adoración porque recibimos el Espíritu que fortalece nuestra vida espiritual y nos hace firmes en amor. Esta es la razón por la que nunca debemos abandonarlo. Debemos ser fervientes en adorar a Dios para que Él siempre esté con nosotros en nuestra vida y permanezcamos sólidos y firmes en servirle.

Si quieren aprender más sobre la Iglesia De Cristo, pueden visitar nuestra página web en incmedia.org y pulsen la opción en español.

Soy Daryll Domingo y hasta la próxima.

[Mostrar Cierto] 

Posted in Christian Relationships, El Mensaje, Programs, The Bible, Video

What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?

What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?

Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. What are the biblical consequences of divorce and what can separated couples do to preserve their marriage?


Show/Hide Transcript

What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?

Brother Andrew Taaca: Some people wonder why married members of the Church Of Christ are prohibited from getting a divorce. What’s the basis in such a prohibition, when separation and divorce are considered by many as a popular option when a marriage is not going as planned?

Brother Mark Crelencia: Stay tuned for the answer, here, on The Message.

[Show Open]

How Does God Feel About Divorce?

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Minister of the Gospel 

Brother Andrew Taaca

Brother Andrew: Dear viewers, there are varying opinions about divorce. But Brother Mark, what we need to know is how does God feel about divorce? 

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Topic: What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Minister of the Gospel

Brother Mark Crelencia

Brother Mark: Let’s read the answer, Brother Andrew and dear viewers, in the Holy Scriptures, here in the Book of Malachi 2:14-16:

“Why has God abandoned us?” you cry. I’ll tell you why; it is because the Lord has seen your treachery in divorcing your wives who have been faithful to you through the years, the companions you promised to care for and keep. You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Therefore, guard your passions! Keep faith with the wife of your youth.

For the Lord, the God of Israel, says he hates divorce and cruel men. Therefore, control your passions—let there be no divorcing of your wives.

[Malachi 2:14-16 The Living Bible]

Brother Mark: So, dear viewers, how does God Himself feel toward divorce? The Bible says that God hates divorce.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

God hates divorce

Brother Andrew: Therefore, since the very beginning, our Almighty God does not permit divorce, or for a married couple to separate. As it is clear, what is written in the Holy Scriptures, there will be no divorcing of your spouses.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Married people should not divorce their spouses

The sanctity of marriage still applies today


Brother Mark: But Brother Andrew, some of our viewers might be wondering and arguing that the law of God forbidding divorce was only implemented during the ancient times. So, [how] about in our time in the Christian Era? Brother Andrew, does the prohibition of divorce still apply?


Brother Andrew: Yes it does, Brother Mark, and we can read the answer here in the Book of Matthew 19:3-6:

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

[Matthew 19:3-6 New International Version]

Brother Andrew: So, it is clear from what we have read, dear viewers, what our Lord Jesus Christ teaches concerning married couples who are made one, or joined together in holy matrimony. Christ said what God has joined together, let man not separate.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

What God has joined together, man must not separate

Brother Mark: Therefore, dear viewers, when married couples inside the Church Of Christ separate, or divorce each other, it’s not a small thing. In the eyes of our Almighty God they’re violating His divine  will.


Now, when we come back, we will answer the following question: Will one who divorces his or her spouse, and marries someone else, be saved? 

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Will those who divorce their spouses and remarry someone else be saved?

Song about conflict in marriage

Brother Mark: But first, let’s watch this Christian music video entitled “His Love Never Ends”.

[Video begins]

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

“His Love Never Ends”

Lyrics, Music, Arrangement & Vocals by CJ Stogsdill

Produced by INC Media Services

I know that life

Can be so hard at times

Sometimes you feel like it’s 

Not going the way you want

It makes you want to break down and cry

But despite all the pain and sufferings

This life brings you

You’ll always have hope for the day

The Lord God will wipe your tears away

When you are lonely, just call unto Him

When you’re feeling down and out 

Just pray unto Him

He will guide you through all the darkest times

Have faith in our Lord God: His love never ends

Have faith in the Lord,

He will give you strength to go on

In this cruel and wicked world

He’s shown us the path to salvation

His love is forever

He is kind and true to His people

The one chosen nation in these last days

We’re making our way to His heavenly kingdom

When you are lonely, just call unto Him

When you’re feeling down and out 

Just pray unto Him

He will guide you through all the darkest times

Have faith in our Lord God: His love never ends

Learn the ways of the Lord

Keep them in your heart

And live according to His holy word

He loves us

In Him, let’s place our complete trust

He loves us

When you are lonely, just call unto Him

When you’re feeling down and out 

Just pray unto Him

He will guide you through all the darkest times

Have faith in our Lord God: His love never ends

[“His Love Never Ends”, Lyrics, Music, Arrangement & Vocals by CJ Stogsdill,

Produced by INC Media Services]

[Video ends]

Brother Andrew: Welcome back, beloved friends. Brother Mark, as we watched that Christian music video, it really represents many married couples, because there are those times where there’s the ups, there’s also the downs. But what was nice in the video is—what we should all learn from—which is to turn to God during those times there may be some differences, maybe conflicts, with one’s spouse. Because with the help of our Almighty God, like what we’ve seen in the video, they will be able to work things out.

Brother Mark: Dear friends, we can rewatch this video and others like it on incmedia.org.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Learn more on www.incmedia.org

Remarriage after divorce

Brother Andrew: The question now is, Brother Mark, will one who divorces his or her spouse and marries someone else, still be saved?

Brother Mark: Well, dear viewers, it’s considered a sin according to our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. In the gospel according to Luke 16:18 and I quote the following:

“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 

[Luke 16:18 New International Version]

Brother Mark: Dear friends, what sin is committed by anyone who divorces his or her spouse and marries another? Well, such a person commits adultery. Now, will adulterers be saved, Brother Andrew?

Brother Andrew: Well, Brother Mark, let’s find out the verdict of our Almighty God, here in I Corinthians 6:9-10:

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

[1 Corinthians 6:9-10 New International Version]

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Topic: What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?

Brother Andrew: So here, we can see that God laid down His sentence concerning the adulterers. They will not be saved. As proof, Apostle Paul says that such people will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Brother Mark: And so, Brother Andrew and dear viewers, let’s understand that the sin of adultery is not a minor offence.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Anyone who divorces and marries another commits adultery

Brother Andrew: That is correct, Brother Mark, and those who are found guilty of such offence, they are expelled from the Church. 

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Adultery is evil before God

Brother Andrew: Just as idolaters and murderers will not be saved, so will those who divorce their spouse and marry another, will not be saved as well.

Brother Mark: So, what does God command married couples in order for them to be saved? He commands them to not separate, as stated by the Apostles in I Corinthians 7:10:

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

[1 Corinthians 7:10 New International Version]

Brother Mark: According to the Holy Scriptures, what is God’s commandment to married couples? They should not separate or divorce. 

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Married couples should not separate or divorce

Brother Mark: So, all married couples should respect that commandment of our Almighty God.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

God’s command to the married couple should be respected

What is the Bible’s instruction if a couple is separated?

Brother Andrew: But, Brother Mark, what if they’re already separated? What is the instruction then?

Brother Mark: Let’s continue reading, Brother Andrew and dear viewers in verse 11:

But if a wife does leave, she should remain single or get back together with her husband. And a husband should not divorce his wife.

[1 Corinthians 7:11 Easy to Read Version]

Brother Mark: And so, dear friends, what is the strict instruction to everyone who, for whatever reason, is separated from his or her spouse? The Bible says he or she should stay single or not marry again. 

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Couples who have separated should stay single and not remarry

Brother Mark: But what is the best solution so that married couples will not fall into temptation and further displease God? 

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Reconciliation of husband and wife is the best solution

Brother Mark: They should reconcile with their spouse. God’s law forbids them to be married to someone else aside from their living spouse. And so members of the Church Of Christ are very fortunate, because before a couple gets married, they undergo marriage seminars so that both the would-be husband and the would-be wife will understand first the laws of God that govern married life.

Brother Andrew: That is correct, Brother Mark. This includes the responsibility of the husbands to the wives and likewise the wives to the husbands, even the shared responsibilities of the husband and wife. In this way, the Christian couple may reap the many blessings that the Lord God has in store for those who are loyal to His commands regarding married life. Therefore, the message of the day is this: God does not allow divorce.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Message of the Day : God does not allow divorce

Brother Andrew: Married couples should not use marital problems as a reason to divorce, rather they should resolve their conflicts so that they can honor the sanctity of marriage.

[On-Screen Text Graphics]

Message of the Day

Conflicts should be resolved to preserve and honor the sanctity of marriage

Brother Mark: Thank you for joining us on this episode of The Message, but before we part ways, please join us in a short prayer.

Brother Andrew: Our Almighty and loving Father in Heaven, we thank You, dear Father, for the words that we have received concerning the husbands and the wives. Through this, dear Father, we can see Your great love and concern. May You give us a humble heart and mind that we will always follow Your teachings and commands regarding the married couples, dear Father, that we will do everything that is pleasing before Your holy sight. 

May You please bless all of our viewers. May Your words be found in our lives, dear God, that we are able to follow Your teachings and commandments, that we will always walk worthy before Your sight. 

Our Lord Jesus Christ, You are the throne of grace. We thank You, dear Lord, for opportunities like this. Please, Lord Jesus, may Your blessings remain in our lives and please bring our prayer to our Father, that we may always receive the guidance and blessings that we need. Dear Father, we do believe You have accepted our prayer in the name of our Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. Amen.

[Show Closes]

Posted in Christian Relationships, Programs, The Message, Video

I Found Confidence in My Faith

I Found Confidence in My Faith

Taryn went to many different Christian-professing churches with her parents. But in her adulthood, she found herself still wondering what to believe.


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I Found Confidence in My Faith

Taryn Griffin: We did have to find different churches every time we moved. That was kind of my parents’ job since I was still young. I went with my family because that’s what seemed right at the moment.

[Show open]

My name is Taryn Griffin. I am 23 years old. I was born in Colorado and lived most of my life in San Diego, California until I moved here to Hawaii.

“We Believed We Were Christians”

While I was in Colorado, I did live with both my parents, my grandparents, and my cousins. So, I do have fond memories of bonding with family. We all went to churches. We believed we were Christians and we would go to churches that claimed to be Christian.

When I was about four or five, my dad joined the military. And after he finished his boot camp, we moved to California. First, in Monterey, California, then San Diego, California for a good long time and now here in Hawaii.

One of the biggest things that military kids face is constantly trying to make new friends because you’re moving around so much.

“We Did Have To Find Churches Every Time We Moved”

Right in the middle of high school, right in the middle of your young adult life, my family, we moved to Hawaii. And at first, I had just gotten comfortable being in California for a good eight years. Moving to Hawaii from California was definitely a big challenge for me, at first. I was super nervous. It was definitely harder to jump in and find friends because everyone’s already found their groups in high school. So, that definitely made it a little bit challenging.

We did have to find different churches every time we moved. That was kind of my parents’ job since I was still young. They would already talk about trying to find a place that was based on the Bible. Especially since my mom had an off-putting experience with a church that she went to when she was younger. So they really put time and effort into finding a church that they liked and they felt comfortable with.

“I Never Really Felt A Connection With The People In That Church”

Well, when my family would get together and we would say our prayers, if I was going through a rough moment, I probably said some prayers to ask God for help and guidance. I think we tried a couple different churches. We went and my family felt, at least, a little bit more at ease and more comfortable or more confident.

Though I never really felt a connection with the people in that church, necessarily, I went with my family because that’s what seemed right at the moment.

“In The Church Of Christ They Answer All Questions”

One of my friends that I had met talked to me briefly about the church that they went to and asked me if I was going to church and probably invited me a handful of times. Being that I was already going to church with my family, I guess I felt content. They encouraged me to…to try it, come to an activity, see if I liked it.

The first activity or event that I do remember going to with the Church Of Christ was a CFO or Christian Family Organization activity. Everyone was really friendly and it seemed like a casual and really comfortable way to be introduced to the Church, I guess.

When we sat down, the minister brought out the Bible and had a certain topic that we were going to talk about that day. Every question that was brought up was answered straight from the Bible. It was very clear and easy to understand.

“I Was Trying To Figure Out What To Believe”

In the Church Of Christ, they give you a question, they answer it. They give you another question and they answer it. Every question that was brought up was answered straight from the Bible. Even the questions that I had going on in my head, before I even asked them, it was already answered.

So it was very, very easy to understand, very clear and it was refreshing. As I was going to Bible studies in the Church Of Christ and going to church on the weekends with my family and still trying to figure out what I believe and what’s real, what’s true. It’s amazing how timely the Bible studies were because I remember there was one lesson pertaining to the topic of Valentine’s Day that I had just learned. And then, when I went to church with my family that weekend, it was also about Valentine’s Day. And I was like, “I already have the answer to this and this is not it.”

I guess at that point my angle kind of turned. Maybe the Church Of Christ really is where I am supposed to be because I’m getting all of these timely answers.

“I Became More Consistent With Bible Studies”

After listening to a handful of lessons, I became more and more interested and more and more curious. Especially, you know, growing up as [a] Christian or believing that I was Christian. There were definitely a few lessons that took me by surprise. And that’s when I really started getting curious and I wanted to learn more. I became more consistent with my Bible studies and wanted to know…what was really in the Bible.

“It Was A Game Changer”

Some of the lessons that really stood out that caught me off guard that I thought were different or surprising or shocking were the one about the trinity and probably about Christmas too. Growing up, always having and celebrating Christmas , and then finding that it’s not actually in the Bible was…was definitely a game changer, especially when it came to the trinity. The churches that I do remember going to, they always taught the same thing about the trinity. And then, here in the Church Of Christ, there is no trinity. So that took me off guard. I was like, “What do you mean there’s no trinity?” I learned that there’s only one God. God is only one. And they read the verses to me. They showed me the verses, I could read it for myself.

Growing up, always celebrating Christmas, my family always tried to implement, you know, the true meaning of Christmas, part of the holiday. Going to Bible studies in the Church Of Christ and learning more, that was one of the lessons that really stood out to me because Christmas isn’t actually in the Bible. And that was shocking.

I was nervous to share what I was learning with my family because it was shocking for me to find these truths and to learn about these truths. And I just wasn’t sure how they would react and there was still more for me to learn.

My family was curious as to where I was going. I told them that I was going to Bible lessons and [worship] services with my friends in the Church Of Christ.

Being 18 at that point, they were understanding of me making this decision on my own.

“Whatever I Was Missing Before…Now, I Have It In The Church Of Christ”

I just remember being in a worship service and it was during hymn singing. I really felt the presence of God and the singing was so beautiful and I just really felt it. From that day, I kind of was like, “Okay, this is where I want to be.” I felt like God was telling me, “This is where you’re supposed to be.”

Having this newfound confidence and peace of mind, I felt like whatever I was missing before, now I [have] is in the Church Of Christ. I feel more whole in the Church.

[On-screen text graphics]

Taryn was baptized in the Church Of Christ on November 25, 2016.

Being a young adult and trying to figure things out and learning how to live life on my own can be challenging and sometimes lonely. In the Church Of Christ, there’s…there’s so much love and it just feels like…like family. Anyone and everyone should give the Church Of Christ a chance. Because for me, I found truth and I found confidence in my faith and I found a home. I’ve never felt stronger in my faith than I do now.

My life has changed so much after joining the Church Of Christ. Despite whatever trials or hardships life throws at me, I just feel more confident that God will guide me through it because I’m in the true Church Of Christ in these last days.

I have a relationship with God.

[Show close]

Stories of Faith

INC MEDIA SERVICES

All Rights Reserved 2021

Posted in Christian Living, Christian Relationships, Stories of Faith, Video

Benefits of Putting God First in Marriage

Benefits of Putting God First in Marriage
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All of us want our marriages to be happy, fulfilled, and blessed. Christine and Marc, newlyweds from Australia, share how putting God first has benefitted their lives and their marriage.


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Benefits of Putting God First in Marriage

[Show opens]

Myrtle Alegado:

When you get married as newlyweds, you have goals, right, that you want to accomplish, whether they be advancing in your career or buying a home, traveling or even starting a family. In this episode, we’re going to talk to a newlywed couple who has seen the benefits of putting God first in their marriage.

Welcome to Happy Life, a podcast brought to you by INC Media that aims to help newlyweds navigate through the first years of marriage. I’m Myrtle Alegado and I’ve been married to my husband Paul since 1999.

[Show catchphrase]

Inspiration to make your marriage thrive, you’re listening to Happy Life.

Myrtle Alegado: According to verywellmind.com, a top priority for newlyweds should be keeping the romance alive as mentioned in Dr. Houston’s study. Other than that, during the first year of marriage, couples need to settle many things, including how to allocate and handle money.

On lifehack.org, they said that goals will help your marriage to thrive, and a couple of things to prioritize our financial goals, goals for your relationship as well as family health goals.

The newlyweds I’d like to introduce you all to are Christine and Marc, all the way from Sydney, Australia. Christine is a friend of mine and my colleague at INC Media. Good day, Marc and Christine, how are things in the Land of Oz?

Christine Afenir: Hi, Myrtle.

Marc Afenir: Good day, Myrtle. I’m loving the Aussie accent there. Well done.

Myrtle Alegado: I’m so glad I thought you were going to cringe and say how horrible because, you know, I’m really bad at accents. But I thought I’d give it a shot.

Marc Afenir: Let’s just say that it’s good that you’re not recording video right now.

Myrtle Alegado:  I cry, I cry. Well, how are you both doing? You know, down there, I think the weather is opposite from here in North America. Right?

Marc Afenir: It is actually. It’s winter here right now. So you know everything in Australia being upside down compared to the northern hemisphere. So whatever you have, we have in reverse so yeah, but we’re doing well. And we’re keeping warm during lockdown so.

Myrtle Alegado: Oh, still in lockdown. Wow. Okay. Well, glad to hear you’re doing well. For those who don’t know you, would you mind sharing a little bit about how you two met?

Christine Avenir: So, funny story. We actually met at the KADIWA formal, a Church event that was happening in London in 2008. We actually didn’t interact with each other. We were there with kind of our own friends. And yeah, Marc traveled all the way from Australia to be there as well.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, that was also a very last minute trip for me. So I was working full time at an ad agency and kind of asked my boss who was also from the UK. And I think that kind of helped me get over the line to get my leave approved. But I told her I was going to London for about a week. 

And we met there, but we didn’t really talk. So that was like she said back in 2008. So, it was close to a decade later that we started talking to each other. Like we’ve heard of each other, because we’ve worked in media. So Christine’s been in INC Media since I think 2011 and I started around that time helping the bureau here in Sydney. She was in San Francisco. I’ve heard her name thrown around, be it she was a producer for some shows. But it wasn’t until, like, 2017 that we started messaging each other. 

Myrtle Alegado: Did you actually meet at that formal or you just found out later that you were both there at the same time?

Marc Afenir: So for Christine, she kind of knew who were at the table. But I was, I kind of have a very long memory so…

Christine Afenir: Full disclosure, I didn’t know his name. I think I remembered later on, that somebody from Australia was there. There was only one person from Australia there. So when that was mentioned, I was like, oh, that guy. I think we only were conscious of each other’s existence afterwards.

Myrtle Alegado: And I know you kind of touched on it, Christine, but let me just explain that KADIWA is the Christian Family Organization for those 18 [years old] and up who are unmarried inside the Church Of Christ. So the formal in London was organized for that group, which is really neat that they had those kinds of events for the youth to be able to meet each other.

Marc Afenir: Yeah. And you had basically a lot of people from all over Europe. It was a European KADIWA formal but you know, I think…

Christine Afenir: We crashed.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, we crashed. There were people all over the world who found out about it and they thought, oh, cool, great opportunity to be in London and meet all these other single people in the Church, so why not? And even had one crazy Aussie there who traveled 24 hours by plane just to be there for a week.

Myrtle Alegado: That’s how long it takes to fly to London, 24 hours?

Marc Afenir: Oh yeah, a good 24 hours.

Myrtle Alegado: Wow, I had no idea. So Christine, obviously your relationship progressed, and the two of you got married in April of 2019. We heard on what some couples prioritize in their marriage. Can you tell me what it was like to plan your wedding while being across the globe from each other? You know, what was important to you both to put first?

Christine Afenir: I think we really experienced the true definition of long distance. Because usually, long distance like you’re in another state, in the United States, or, you know, a different time zone. He was in a different country, in a different hemisphere. Like it was very hard to find a common time where we were both awake, and conscious to even talk to each other. So to plan a wedding. You know, I have family in the United States, we have family in the Philippines. He has family in Germany, he has family in Australia.

So we were trying to find a place—a place to have the wedding but also, you know, the discussion came to where are we going to go, to live our life as a married couple. But it wasn’t that hard, because he knew that God comes first. And I work for the Church in INC Media. We both wanted to wait for word whether I could continue my duty in Australia. And if that was the case, then we’d move there. But if not, then Marc would move to San Francisco, where INC Media Headquarters is.  I think it was a difficult conversation, but it was an easy conversation, because we both knew that God came first. I’m very happy that he didn’t make it any harder than it had to be.

Marc Afenir: I think that’s the constant in our relationship. It’s your guiding light when you come to some very, very difficult decisions. When you look at mine and Christine’s case, there’s a lot of things that we needed to decide on, you know. I had a career going on here in Sydney. So, do we move to San Francisco, or do we stay here in Sydney, or things like that. Even the wedding, at some point we even decided to have it at San Francisco or even Germany, because our family was all over the world. Like I mentioned before, when you have that guiding light, when you’re both reliant on how God steers you, it makes things easier.

Christine Afenir: Oh yeah, the answers are there.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, the answers are there for you. You really do have to trust the process. To any ordinary person, this might look difficult, but when you have God on your side, when you put God as the priority, and when you have that trust, then things fall into place. It was remarkable seeing things just fall into place.

Myrtle Alegado: So you said when you have that guiding light, everything else, you know, flows and kind of comes easily after that. So how did you put your trust in God with this experience with making your decisions and where you were going to move to and where you were even going to have the wedding?

Marc Afenir: Well, most importantly, in order to have that guidance by God, you need to ask God through prayer. Members of the Church Of Christ, we’re encouraged to pray and to have that relationship with God.

Just even at the start of our relationship, I suggested to Christine, “Okay, look, there’s just a lot of things that we need to figure out right now. How about we hold devotional prayers together?” So, basically just having those devotional prayers, it’s a challenge for us, because normally you’d be together physically and be inside the place of worship, you know, in a chapel, you’re kneeling down and you’re praying together. But for us, the challenge was that, you know, we’re like,  what 7000 kilometers apart, and there’s also the time zone difference.

Myrtle Alegado: And how many hours was that time difference between Sydney and San Francisco?

Marc Afenir: So how many hours is that? Like okay so…

Christine Afenir: I think seventeen.

Marc Afenir: So Christine would be finishing up her workday, and I would be starting mine. So I’d be scrambling to get to work. So yeah, we just had to come up with a schedule that suited us. So one of us would be bleary eyed, you know, waking really early in the morning.

Christine Afenir: I lost a lot of sleep at the beginning of our relationship. I think both of us did.

Marc Afenir: Yeah, we really wanted to make it work. I think that if we didn’t have these devotional prayers, we’d just be left just trying to figure things out for ourselves, and that would have been extremely difficult.

Christine Afenir: We hear about a lot of, like, long distance relationships where they don’t last and a lot of people don’t recommend it. But I think when Marc, early on when we were talking, when he suggested the devotional prayer, I was actually surprised—pleasantly surprised. Like, “Oh, okay!” Because it’s a big commitment, especially for our time difference. But it also let me know, like, he was serious. This wasn’t just, let’s just talk and see where it goes. I think he wanted it to go somewhere. So that was nice.

Myrtle Alegado: So Marc I know when we actually chatted previously, we were talking about how similarly your childhood mimicked Christine’s. Can you talk a little bit more about that?

Marc Afenir: Sure. So, our childhoods were remarkably similar. So just in terms of how our parents moved to another country, and also how our parents were officers in the Church Of Christ. So growing up, that’s always been an important, an integral, part of our families. The way that we were raised, it’s always been about putting duty first in the Church.

Remarkably, both our fathers were head deacons in the Church. So head deacons being, I suppose, leaders in their respective local [congregation], the leaders in the Church, elders in the Church who would help [in] looking after their respective locals. And  even that, in itself, is incredibly similar. You know, Christine’s dad was a head deacon for a local that just started, so they were a pioneer family. It was the same as mine. From a very early age, Christine growing up in New Jersey and me in Sydney, you know half a world apart, we were experiencing pretty much the same thing, you know, at the same age.

Christine Afenir: And the more we talked, the more we got to know each other. You know, we would ask how we grew up and being in the same Church, even though we were in different countries and different hemispheres, you know, there [were] the same activities. So we would talk about choir days, where the whole entire local congregation would dress up and perform a song. And we even performed some of the same songs.

And we experienced the same things in the Church Of Christ. Like we were both Children’s Worship Service officers, or what people call Sunday school, so we were leading the children. So we had the same, I want to say passions but the same, concern.

Marc Afenir: What’s great about it is that our values were aligned. We agreed on certain things, and we knew for a fact that if we were to raise a family we would want to raise them in a very similar fashion.

Myrtle Alegado: Well, it’s so awesome that Marc did say that you had, you know, such similar values. Finding somebody who has the same values as you, that just comforts you, to find that person that, you know, I guess was meant for you. So that’s really, really awesome.

So I’m gonna go back to you, Christine. You and I knew each other when we both lived in Toronto, I’m thinking around 2005 maybe, and I remember when you were going to school there. Where did life take you, you know, after you left Canada?

Christine Afenir: When we met, I was accepted into Sheridan College’s program: Advanced Television and Film. So that was fun. That was my first long stay in Canada. I had gotten my bachelor’s in Film Studies at the Barnard College of Columbia University in New York. And I wanted to upskill so I can, you know, further my career. After Canada, after Sheridan College, I went back home looking for jobs.

And my mom and dad really supported me in my dream in this, you know, to do film, to be in the industry. And she was pulling connections. She was just like, “Oh, you know, I know someone in the Philippines whose son is a director. I think you should go there and intern.” So after Canada, I ended up in the Philippines. Yeah, I was shadowing a director, I think in one of the, one of his shows that they were shooting.  But there was a lot of downtime, and I’m just not the type to just sit around. It’s different if you’re there for vacation, but I was not there for a vacation. So I kind of started feeling guilty. So I messaged Sister Aliw from, back then it was INCTV Bureau, but now INC Media, and I just asked, “Is there any way I can volunteer and help in the TV production here for the Church?” Because I was also helping in New Jersey, so I just wanted to see if I could do that in the Philippines. And so I was able to help. I interned, I volunteered and I kind of followed around the team that was filming for one of the shows.

And I just, I fell in love with it. It was just so nice to kind of merge my love for God and my passion for film and creating content. When I returned back to America, when I returned back to New Jersey, it was great timing because Brother Eduardo [V. Manalo-INC Executive Minister] was doing his first pastoral visit in the United States. And so the team from INC Media, from headquarters, was also filming. I got to meet Sister Aliw again and the team, and I asked them, “is there a way I can help here, help in the United States [in] the Church media arm?” And I thought I was going to wait for a couple years for an answer, but it came within two months. I was like, “Oh, okay, so.”

And that was a big move. I had a devotional prayer, I had to pray because that would be me picking up my life from New Jersey and moving to California. Like, I didn’t know where I was going to stay, I didn’t know, you know, where I was gonna live, I didn’t know how this was going to work—so I just prayed. And I said, “God, if this is for me, things will fall into place.” I’ll know how to get there to be able to work with INC Media there in California.

And sure enough, I was able to get an affordable ticket to go to California. One of my friends hooked me up. They called me and they were like, “Oh, you’re going to stay with this person.” So I already had a place to stay. So things were just falling into place and I was just like, “Okay!”

Myrtle Alegado: Yeah, sounds like it!

Christine Afenir: So I was like, “Okay, I guess God’s telling me to go.”

Myrtle Alegado: So, your mom’s plans for you to become the big time director kind of paved the way for God’s plans for you to work in the media arm of the Church.

Christine Afenir: She was very surprised when I came back from the Philippines and that’s what I said I was planning to do.

Myrtle Alegado: Yeah well, you know, when they say God’s plans are the best plans, so sometimes we don’t even know what the plans are. And we just kind of go along with what the journey is, right, that He lays out for us, that He’s steering us in. What an awesome story though.

But I’d like to hear more on what the Bible has to say about this topic. Just how can we benefit in our lives by putting God first? Let’s welcome back Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.

Hi there, Brother Felmar, thanks for being here with us again on Happy Life.

Brother Felmar: Hello, everybody. Great to be back here on Happy Life with all of you. Let’s get right into it. So how do we benefit when we put the Lord God first in our life? Let’s read what the Bible says here in the Book of Psalms, chapter 37, verses 4 to 7, and we’ll quote it from the Good News Bible.

Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the LORD; trust in him and he will help you; he will make your righteousness shine like the noonday sun. Be patient and wait for the LORD to act; don’t be worried about those who prosper or those who succeed in their evil plans.

[Psalms 37:4-7 Good News Bible]

Brother Felmar: Praise be to the Lord God that Marc and Christine are wonderful examples of putting God first in their life. We heard earlier from their experiences that in their education, work, personal commitments, during their courtship, and even more so now that they are married, God has always been at the center of their life and God has always been their priority. The result? God has rewarded them with their “heart’s desire,” like the Bible says. Or as Christine put it earlier, everything fell into place.

However, we should understand that making God our priority does not mean that life will be without challenges. That’s why the Bible clearly taught in the verses we read, “Be patient and wait for the LORD to act.”

So what does this mean? It means that there are times we will need to be patient, and we will really need to wait for God to set things in motion for us and answer our prayers completely. Sometimes the full answer to our prayers may not be meant to take place in a week’s time, or a month’s time, or even several years. And all that waiting is very challenging! Yet, what did the Bible tell us? “Be patient and wait for the LORD to act.” Therefore, putting God first also means putting His plan above ours—waiting for Him to act for us, instead of us, because of our impatience, taking things into our own hands. Remember the Bible’s guarantee: if we remain patient God will act for us.

What else does putting God first entail? The Bible mentioned, “don’t be worried about those who prosper or those who succeed in their evil plans.” So even if all the while we are living righteously, putting God first, waiting for Him to answer our prayers, and there will be others around us who are progressing—and to them it looks as if we are not progressing—still we must maintain God as our priority. So, not giving up on our duties in the Church; continuing devotedly in worship service; in giving our generous offerings; in loving the brotherhood; continuing in unity with the Church Administration in all Church activities, especially in sharing our faith or missionary work.

We must not turn our back on these and the rest of God’s commandments that we uphold in the Church Of Christ, even when God has not yet fully answered our prayers. Why? Because then, we will have proven that God truly is our priority and happiness, no matter what. Because, it is not just the answer to our prayers that makes us happy but it is God Himself and serving Him—that is our true happiness.

When we live this way, what is the sure promise that will be fulfilled in our life? The Bible stated,

“Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the LORD; trust in him and he will help you; he will make your righteousness shine like the noonday sun.”

Myrtle Alegado: I’m not sure how many newlywed couples consciously decide to put God at the center of their lives, but this wonderful biblical advice has definitely provided clarity. We really appreciate you joining us again, Brother Felmar, here on Happy Life.

Brother Felmar: Thank you again for having me, Myrtle, and to the whole Happy Life team. God bless to all the married couples.

Myrtle Alegado: Alright, so in the last year, Marc and Christine, can you share how you have been blessed by God, especially in this time of pandemic, by putting Him first?

Marc Afenir: Well, in the past year, I think a lot of people have experienced hard times during the pandemic. We were affected ourselves. So, I just started a role at a company, and I work in the tech sector, so things can be volatile even during good times. But when it comes to tough times it compounds, you know, how volatile it is.

But with a pandemic, I just started a new role in February 2020. And, you know, things were going well. Three weeks into this new role we all went into lockdown. This is when, you know, Coronavirus hit the world hard. Yeah, I was in that role for about six months. Initially, they weren’t looking at laying anyone off, but unfortunately I found myself being let go by the company. So being one of the newer hires, unfortunately, I was one of the low hanging fruits, so I was let go. Six months later and I found myself having to find a new job. It was difficult, because in the back of my mind I thought, you know, Christine and I just got married. We were trying to get ourselves settled in, and also we didn’t have that safety net of family, because my family’s back in the local of St. George. And we moved to an area where we would be starting in a new local, and this new local needed new officers. I was one of the younger deacons or officers to look after the little local.

And funnily enough, I wasn’t expecting to follow my dad’s footsteps too soon, but I became a head deacon in that local as well. And what kind of played in the back of my mind was because, you know, a head deacon in a local is someone who is relied upon to be very involved in the local’s day-to-day dealings. And from my experience as well and not having a job, I was wondering how am I going to do this? But I didn’t fret, I wasn’t frustrated or depressed, because I knew that there’s a reason why I’m finding myself in this situation. I just didn’t think that God was going to give me more responsibilities in the Church and, you know, not be able to fulfill that. So, I knew there was something very good coming around the corner. And sure enough, like we did, you know, when we were having that long distance relationship, Christine and I once again held devotional prayers, but this is when we were still able to go to the place of worship.

And I can remember one particular afternoon, when we left the place of worship, you know. It was straight after the devotional prayer that we had. I got a call from a recruiter, and that recruiter was a little coy at first, because she was asking me all sorts of questions that would vet my qualifications, etc. When she was satisfied, she revealed to me which company it was. And I was very, very surprised, because it was a well known tech company, actually, that everyone, like, if I mentioned the name, everyone would know which company it is. And I’ve applied to this company before, and I’ve never been successful at it. So all that time, I knew that God was going to give me something, and when He did give it to me it was something pretty awesome.

Myrtle Alegado: It was something.

Marc Afenir: Yeah! It’s easy to kind of look at that situation that we were in and really fret. But when you kind of look at how God’s sort of aligning things for you, then you understand that there’s better things around the corner.

Myrtle Alegado: It’s really great that you showed that you did put your full trust and faith in Him. So, Christine, how about you? Do you have a story for us?

Christine Afenir: So this pandemic, I mean, it’s been really tough on a lot of people. Yeah we feel God’s blessings every day. It’s actually really nice to be newly married and in a pandemic, just because you just have more time with each other. It’s kind of like an extended honeymoon. That’s what we call it. I think there’s a hashtag like honeymoon lockdown or lockdown honeymoon.


Myrtle Alegado: Oh really?

Christine Afenir: Something like that. But yeah, no, I think a lot of people I guess were starting their newly married life, but in a pandemic. So, I can’t complain. I mean, we have more time together, able to get to know each other better. As you know, there’s a lot of adjusting when you’re married. And we’re also really thankful that we still get to also worship, even go to worship service even though it is a lockdown. We get to do that together and we get to help the local congregation together as well, even in this lockdown. So, I mean, I really can’t complain, to be honest. We feel very blessed, every day, even in this pandemic.

Marc Afenir: We didn’t have a proper honeymoon, Christine and I, when we got married. So, having this extended time in lockdown kind of let us just do that. And we still get to explore different things about each other, not just home life, but we occasionally, you know, go for walks. And it really does feel like you have a partner or a teammate for life. Christine and myself, being officers in the Church, we feel like, you know, we’re partners in almost every aspect of our lives, so it’s a wonderful situation to be in. And I can’t complain, either. I love being around Christine, and I wouldn’t want to spend lockdown with anyone else.

Christine Afenir: He can’t escape anyway, so. Just kidding.

Being able to perform my duties at INC Media here in Sydney, Australia, there are sacrifices. Even then, you know, God has blessed us and we have what we need. And you know, like what Marc shared, that God does find ways to provide. We really can’t complain, to be honest.

Myrtle Alegado: Definitely sounds like you are building your future together and doing it with God’s help and His blessings, and that’s really heartwarming to hear. So what would your advice be to those, you know, who are still kind of looking for “the one” or, you know, their future spouse?

Christine Afenir: I think a lot of young people, or a lot of single people, think that they have to do something to change themselves, and to make themselves more appealing to, you know, someone else. But what I’ve done, when I was ready to get married and find the one, was to have devotional prayer about it first, of course, to bring myself closer to God, because He’s the One who’s going to give you that one. So I knew that this person had to come from God. And so I just made sure to just be more active in Church Of Christ activities, to just do more of what God wanted, and to just make sure that I was pleasing to Him so that my prayers would be heard. That’s what we are taught in the worship service, right, what’s written in the Bible.

Like what Brother Felmar read from the Bible, “Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire.” And that’s what I tried to do. I tried to just involve myself in everything that God wanted me to do—and He gave me my heart’s desire, and he’s sitting right next to me.

Marc Afenir: I’m turning into mush. Yeah, look, my advice is to really trust God’s plan for you. And I’m the type of person that analyzes things and plans and sometimes even overthinks, but at the end of the day, and I’ve witnessed this time and time again, especially during these past few years that Christine and I have been figuring things out, that verse that Brother Felmar read, you know, “trust in him and he will help you”, that couldn’t be truer. For someone who puts all their faith, all their trust, in God—God’s plan is the best plan.

So, when you get that answer from God, and you trust what He’s doing for you, what He’s giving you, then you can only be successful. So, I think my advice to all those people who are looking to get married out there, or are newlyweds, just make sure that your relationship is right with God. So always consult God first through your devotional prayers, and for sure, God will lead you to the relationship that He wants for you.

Myrtle Alegado: A hundred percent, that’s such great advice, Marc. I just want to thank you both so much for sharing how your faith and your prayers have guided your lives prior to marriage and, even more so, now as husband and wife.

Christine Afenir: Thanks, Myrtle.

Marc Afenir: It’s a pleasure, Myrtle. Thank you so much.

Christine Afenir: Thanks, Happy Life team.

Myrtle Alegado: Stay warm out there in Sydney.

Marc Afenir: Take care.

Myrtle Alegado: Well, we hope that all the advice that’s been given and shared today, especially the teachings from the Bible, have really demonstrated how always putting God first—in every situation—is beneficial in our lives. If we give God first place in our lives, blessings will surely flow.

And that’s all we have for today. To learn more about Christian relationships, please visit incmedia.org. And if you’d like to say hi or send us a question, please visit our Instagram account @happylife.podcast. Please also remember to share our podcast with your family and friends and all the newlyweds that you know. Thank you from all of us here on the Happy Life team. We’re so glad you joined us today and hope we’ve all been reminded about the blessing of marriage.

[Show closes]

Posted in Christian Living, Christian Relationships, Happy Life, Happy Life

Is God Leading You Into a Relationship?

Is God Leading You Into a Relationship?
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Find out if God is leading you into a relationship, showing you red flags, or guiding you to stay in a friendship.


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Is God Leading 

You Into a Relationship?

[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: So let’s set the stage. You like them. They like you. You’re both members of the Church Of Christ and are of age to start the courting process. What do you do? Are things moving too fast? Too slow? Do things feel easy? And is the relationship progressing naturally? Or does it feel a little forced? What do your friends think? What does your family think? Is God leading you into a relationship? Or is He trying to show you some red flags? 

Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. Today, we’ll be talking about whether God is leading you into a relationship or if you’re seeing something that maybe isn’t there. A lot of our listeners in the past have reached out and asked us to talk about the one. And we definitely have, but today we’ll be focusing more on being aware of whether or not they aren’t the one. Joining us today is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hi, Brother Donald, how are you today?

Brother Donald: Not too bad, Brother Martin. And thank you for having me on the program.

Martin Zerrudo: We always love having you. So we went online and found a couple things people point to as red flags for when you may be forcing a relationship with someone. And here they are. The first one is you talk about them like they’re already your boyfriend or girlfriend, even though you aren’t. Number two, you bend over backwards for them and they never reciprocate. Number three, you defend your relationship to your friends who express concerns. Number four, you make up excuses for why they never call you or text you back right away. And lastly, you tell yourself that they’re going to want a relationship eventually, and that they will change even though they show no signs of it. So Brother Donald, why are so many youth today finding themselves in this predicament where they may be forcing a relationship that isn’t there?

Brother Donald: Well, Brother Martin, there’s so many reasons. For example, there are those who, due to peer pressure, they feel compelled to have a relationship, whether it be an actual one, or, as you mentioned an imagined one, since most of their friends already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others may really want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. However, they’re just too fearful of approaching that individual. Of course, they’re afraid of rejection. Thus, they imagine or just assume that the other person has the same feelings for them. And they leave it at that. On the part of the females or as we call sisters in the Church, they may feel attracted to a brother, but in fear of being labeled as too forthcoming or just too aggressive, they resort to telling themselves that the individual they have a crush on has the same feelings or sentiment for them. In order to avoid creating such a scenario, however, it is very important that members of the Church keep in mind the following tenet or teaching of the Bible. And we can read the following in Proverbs 19:14:

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

[Proverbs 19:14 New International Version] 

Church Of Christ members then are taught to ask God for everything that they need, including when it comes to a suitable or prudent wife, and in fact, husband for that matter. So in order to avoid creating an awkward circumstance, due to a perceived interest of a brother or sister of the faith, and of course, vice versa, they should conduct what is called a devotional prayer, by which they can ask God to clearly show unto them who would eventually be an appropriate spouse.

Martin Zerrudo: Is it different for men than it is for women? You know, of course, times are changing, expectations in society are shifting and certain traditions may have changed, but as members of the Church Of Christ, who should take charge in asserting feelings and making intentions known, and what happens if things don’t work out?

Brother Donald: That’s a very good series of questions, Brother Martin. As we know in society, normally, it would be the male who would approach the female to express his intent. However, we can see shifting social norms. And that is why now if a female is attracted to a male, she may take the initiative to express her feelings to him. In the Church it is most likely that the male or the brother would express his intent to the sister to establish a relationship. But even during those initial stages, the following Bible teaching is taken into account. In Ephesians 6:2-3 it states: 

“Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.”

[Ephesians 6:2-3 Today’s English Version]

To show proper respect to the parents, then, male and female members of the Church, who feel mutually compelled to get to know each other better, would approach their respective parents to ask permission first. Considering that the husband is the head of the wife, and we can read that in Ephesians 5:23,  it would be the brother who would first approach the parents of the sister, whom he intends to court, to ask permission. But he, along with the sister, they should have a righteous purpose, Brother Martin, when it comes to courting one another, as we can glean from the following citation: 2 Timothy 2:22: 

Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

[2 Timothy 2:22 New King James Version]

This is why Church members are not supposed to date just for the sake of dating, or to pursue satisfying youthful lust. That is why, especially on the part of the brother, he should conduct himself in the following manner. Psalm 119:9:

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.

[Psalm 119:9 New International Version]

The brothers should have a pure intent when it comes to courting a sister and not intend to take any undue advantage of her. The couple should treat each other respectfully, by both of them heeding the teachings of God when it comes to their relationship. Now, if I can add, Brother Martin, if in spite of the best and the purest intentions, that the brother and the sister find that they are incompatible, well, they should mutually agree to stop seeing each other and inform the respective parents of their decision. Now, of course, depending on the amount of time invested during courting, there will be a certain level of sadness and even heartbreak may be experienced at least by one, if not both the male and female or the brother and the sister. Of course, conversing with family and friends would definitely aid in mending a broken heart. All the more, however, we should pray to God, because He’s more than capable, of course, of doing the following for us. As we can read here in Psalm 34:15,17-19 New International Version:

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; … The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;

[Psalms 34:15, 17-19 New International Version]

So it is very clear, Brother Martin, that the Lord our God is more than capable to help one heal after experiencing the emotional pain of a romantic breakup.

Martin Zerrudo: So ultimately, Brother Donald, how can we determine if God doesn’t want us to be with someone?

Brother Donald: Well, we mentioned earlier the importance of conducting that devotional prayer, asking God to guide us to who would be a suitable spouse for us. It is possible that we could meet a brother or sister in the Church, but if during their getting to know each other, or their courting, there are repeated issues, arguments, misunderstandings, and a general disharmony, then it should be fairly obvious that the couple are incompatible. Again, it would be best for both parties to mutually part ways and continue to do their part in preserving what we call as the love of the brotherhood in spite of not being connected romantically.

Martin Zerrudo: Right. I remember, Brother Donald, you know, when I was younger, I was in a relationship and it didn’t work out and of course I was broken-hearted, was very sad and you know, you feel like oh man the world’s coming to an end because this person who I cared about so much who, you know, cared about me—I guess we don’t have a future together. And in my mindset at that time in my late teens, it felt so final, it felt like this is it. Never gonna find love again. I’m gonna be alone forever because it didn’t work out with this one person. And then you know, fast forward to today. That person is happily married. I’m happily married, very cordial when we see each other at the chapel. And it just goes to show exactly what you’re talking about that the focus is on, you know, really trying to pray and read about what God is showing you. And if it doesn’t work out, to maintain that love for the brotherhood that’s so important. And I’m happy to be able to see that it, you know, it truly does pan out so long as you put your faith and trust in God, even if the relationship doesn’t end up moving forward.

Brother Donald: Well, you know, when it comes to, especially experiencing what we imagine as love in our teenage years or young adulthood, and it doesn’t work out? Well, we can really say that the emotional impact is very hurting for many people.  It takes quite some time in order to recover. It feels as if, in the midst of that breakup, as if the world is just imploding upon oneself. And it really takes some time to emotionally heal, and get on with life. But like you said, especially through prayer and trusting in God, then He’ll help us to heal. We can get along, we learned from our experience, and God be willing just like what happened to you and others, they eventually meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. And it is really to happily live ever after. It doesn’t mean to say of course, there’s no challenges. When it comes to marriage and living in this world there’ll always be challenges. But you know, there’s the right chemistry, and we still continue to trust God when we’re married to our spouse, and God is there to help us over those, those rough patches.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely. Now that we know how to read some of those warning signs or red flags, Brother Donald, how do we know, you know, conversely, how do we know if God wants you to be with someone? Well, how do we know that, hey, this is your sign right here, they’re right in front of you, they’re standing in front of you ready to go?

Brother Donald: Well, we won’t see a burning bush, for example. In fact, that would be ideal, but being members of the Church Of Christ, it is our faith that God is going to guide us in a way that we should go or the path that we should take in our life. In fact, we can read that in Psalm 31:1 ,3:

I come to you, LORD, for protection; never let me be defeated. You are a righteous God; save me, I pray! … You are my refuge and defense; guide me and lead me as you have promised.

[Psalm 31:1, 3 Today’s English Version]

So again, it shows the importance of prayer, Brother Martin, because through prayer, we can ask God to guide us in every aspect of our life, not just when it comes to our education, including when it comes to the one whom we could be potentially spending the rest of our life together. If there’s a chemistry and compatibility between the two, if they for example, find an easiness being together. And these and other feelings, they don’t dissipate, but rather they continue to grow even more prominent through the passage of time, then these are very strong indications that we have met the one for us. That is why it is imperative that a couple know each other well. And this can only happen through expending a significant amount of time and effort when it comes to the relationship. In the Church, our romantic relationship, of course, is with the intent that God be willing it will lead to marriage. And we know that marriage is a lifelong commitment. That is why great care and patience has to be taken to avoid a greater and lasting heartbreak of getting married just for the sake of it. Just because for example, a sister feels her biological clock is ticking or a brother, he sees that his peers are already married, so he needs to get married, and a brother or sister they meet one another and perhaps just after a few months are already talking about marriage, when in truth, they don’t really know each other well enough. And that’s why it cannot be overstressed the importance of really getting to know an individual well virtually on all levels in order for us to really find out if we have that strong basis to be able to commit to one another. And again, this is for a lifetime. So, great care, again, patience has to be taken to avoid a greater and lasting heartbreak of getting married just for the sake of it. And then through the passage of time we find out that we’re going to be struggling to commit to that commandment of God that when it comes to married couples, they should remain joined together till death do they part.

Martin Zerrudo: Now when someone says, Brother Donald, if God wants you to be with someone, He will make it happen. How does a member of the Church Of Christ understand that, if He wants it to happen, it’ll happen?

Brother Donald: Well, the Lord our God wants the very best for His chosen people. In Jeremiah 29:11, God Himself makes known through the prophet:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

[Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version]

Because of this, when it comes to us members of the Church Of Christ, we really have to entrust ourselves to God, because we understand according to the many teachings, and also most especially when it comes to the fulfillment of many prophecies that we belong to God. And when God says, I know the plans I have for you, the you there being referred to are His people. And what, again, are the plans of God? He says, “Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is the very reason why when it comes to members of the Church Of Christ, they’re not going to rely upon their so-called abilities or their intelligence, or their so-called wisdom that they may have gained through education. They’re not going to place their wholehearted hope and trust when it comes to their fellow men. Even if when it comes to those connections or people they know they are in positions of influence and power, a member of the Church Of Christ is going to place their wholehearted hope and trust in the power and the ability of the One who created them: they’re going to place it in God. That is why when it comes to finding the most suitable partner, as a spouse for us, again, that is the very reason why we should place our trust in God and we should pray unto Him, and God in turn is going to steer the course of our life.

Martin Zerrudo: We want to thank you so much, Brother Donald, for that spiritual guidance and advice for those wonderful verses and really putting into context some of these questions that our listeners have. For our audience members out there, take the time to really reflect on the things that we heard today and try and see, really see: what is God trying to tell you? Is this something that He wants you to be in? Or is it not? And at the end of the day, of course, based off of the verses, trusting in God will always lead us to the right answer. So thank you, again, so much, Brother Donald, for joining us today. We always appreciate your wonderful advice.

Brother Donald: Well, thank you so much, Brother Martin, I truly enjoy myself on this program, discussing important matters like this with you. And again, with God’s mercy maybe when it comes to our listeners, especially those who are in this stage of their life, that they are looking for that significant other, that they will abide by these decrees or these tenets of the Lord our God. And again, you know, don’t rush into marriage, because it is a lifetime commitment. Better if, for example, during the courting period of a relationship, and that there are so many upheavals and it really points that, you know, there is a strong incompatibility there, even though it may be painful, better the pain that will be for a short period of time, instead of the pain of getting married because we insisted upon it, but then having to face that pain until as we read earlier, death do us part. So again, let’s trust God, follow His decrees, and God is the One who’s going to guide us.

Martin Zerrudo: That’s fantastic. Thank you so much for that, Brother Donald. To our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart and Soul. That’s it from us today. We hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care.

Posted in Christian Relationships, Finding Purpose and Direction, Heart and Soul, Heart and Soul

Always Trust God (Especially After A Breakup)

Always Trust God (Especially After A Breakup)
https://storage.googleapis.com/incmedia-org-audio/heart-and-soul/2021/HAS_2021_EP13_WEB_Version1.mp3

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Post-breakup emotions can be messy. Find out why you should trust in God after a breakup.


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[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: Getting over a breakup isn’t easy. It can be a painful, sad and prolonged period of self-reflection. Many turn to friends, family and social media to find solace in their grief. Now when someone we care about, someone we love leaves, we’re left with so many questions. What if the answer to these questions—and about how to heal after a breakup, how to overcome a broken heart—what if they could be found in Bible verses?

Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

Martin Zerrudo: Last year, I was able to talk to a listener, let’s call her Jaya. Jaya is in her late 20s and lives in Anaheim, California. And at the time of our conversation, Jaya and her boyfriend, we’ll call him Blake, were very much in love.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

He was always someone that I was able to talk to really well, because we had a lot of common interests at the same time. We didn’t really have any problems like butting heads about things. We were always able to talk about anything.

Martin Zerrudo: While some might find this rare, it’s because they’ve known each other for years and shared a common interest.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

We’ve actually known each other for a really long time. We’ve known each other for maybe like over a decade. We’ve always been really, really good friends. Yeah, we were really good friends. We fed off of each other really well. Simple things like you know, playing video games together. That was something we always did. That was something we always enjoyed.

Martin Zerrudo: Jaya actually had feelings for Blake, but he didn’t feel the same at the time. Fast forward to now, when Blake confessed his feelings for Jaya, she had a funny way of responding.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Yeah, 10 years ago, he rejected me. I remember exactly what he said to me 10 years ago. I kinda remember word for word, what he said to me. He said, like, “Oh, well, this is awkward.” I was like I said, and so, you know, when it happened again, like when he came around, and he was saying [he had feelings for me] Yeah, I jokingly, like [replied] well, this is awkward.

Martin Zerrudo: Like the rest of the world, when the pandemic happened, their relationship would hit a brick wall, as their ability to spend time with each other was severely impacted. 

[Heart & Soul Listener]

We had ended up not seeing each other, but we were definitely a lot more sensitive. When we weren’t communicating, it was hurting us more. Things got really messy.

Martin Zerrudo: They would have a big fight, their first in their relationship. And then Blake would send a text message that changed everything.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Just had like our first I don’t know if I call it a fight, but it was really the moment things really fell apart.

Martin Zerrudo: They wouldn’t talk for three months. 

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Yeah, I think we’re done. That’s all that was said. 

Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel of the Church Of Christ. Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you?

Brother Donald: Oh, I’m not too bad. Thank you, Brother Martin, for having me.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you for joining us again, trusting God after a breakup, Brother Donald, is what we all should do. But help our listeners put that into context. What does the Bible exactly say about dealing with a broken heart?

Brother Donald: Well, first of all, Brother Martin, as we know, having one’s heart emotionally broken, is of course very, very painful. The time it takes to mend a broken heart varies from person to person. But if there is a common experience, it is that a feeling even physically ill at the deepest point of exasperation. In order to aid in the healing of a broken heart, Church Of Christ members are reminded of the following in Psalms 34:18 it states:

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. 

[Psalm 34:18 New King James Version]

So members of the Church Of Christ are reminded to turn to God at all times. But most especially when they feel down, despondent or brokenhearted, because as the Bible teaches, God is near to His servants, whether it is because of their disappointment in failed aspirations, or even when it comes to a relationship, that in spite of their best efforts, it just didn’t work out. And of course, the most ideal way of turning to God is through prayer. And those who do so with a contrite or sincere spirit, the Bible teaches that God will hear and God will save them. Just how God will save those who are downtrodden and hurting emotionally is explained here in I Peter 5:6-7: 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

[I Peter 5:6-7: New International Version]

Now, when it comes to our Almighty God, He may utilize instruments in uplifting us from the doldrums we find ourselves in. But He is the ultimate reason why we will be able to emerge from such a precipice and be able to get on with our lives with optimism. And that’s important.

Martin Zerrudo: So while we are not immune to heartbreak, what do members of the INC or Iglesia Ni Cristo, have that can help them during such a period of pain and sadness?

Brother Donald:  Brother Martin it’s none other than our faith in God. And when we say faith meaning to say we place all our hope, and also our confidence in what He can do for us, because we trust that God will never abandon His chosen people, as we can read in Isaiah 63:8-9. All the more this gives us confidence. And allow me to quote:

The LORD said, “They are my people; they will not deceive me.” And so he saved them from all their suffering. It was not an angel, but the LORD himself who saved them. In his love and compassion he rescued them. He had always taken care of them in the past,
[Isaiah 63:8-9 Today’s English Version]

That saving grace of God has been experienced many times by Church Of Christ members throughout their life, not just from physical dangers or perils. But even when it comes to having one’s spirit uplifted, after experiencing emotional upheavals, including heartbreak because of a failed relationship.

Martin Zerrudo: When it comes to those failed relationships, you know, sometimes you just can’t avoid them, no matter how hard we hope that they’re going to work out. So what advice do you have, Brother Donald, for those who have recently gotten their heart broken? Why should they hold on to hope when, at this point in their life, they feel kind of hopeless?

Brother Donald: There’s no doubt whatsoever that God cares so much for those who are recognized as His people or His children. And of course, He wants the very best for them in their life. That is why for those who may have experienced heartbreak, it could be that God is actually saving them from the more severe heartbreak of, for example, getting married to someone who in the initial stages of courting may have appeared to be that ideal partner, but through the passage of time and getting to know them, actually, they are not truly compatible. 

We may feel emotional pain for a period of time, but not the prolonged pain of being married to someone whom we eventually find to be unbearable or impossible to live with. And of course, we would have God to thank for that. On the other hand, perhaps the parting of ways of those who were courting was just a test, it was just a trial to determine the level of their love and affection for one another, that if both parties truly love one another, well, they would reconcile, they could move on and their bond would be even stronger. 

But still, we can’t gamble when it comes to our married future, but rather, we should follow what the Bible teaches here in Proverbs 19:14:

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. 

[Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]

Brother Martin, you know, physical and emotional compatibility, it’s important to a successful relationship. I mean, you have to feel some kind of attraction to another, is it not? But we should not base our decision when it comes to choosing a spouse on our personal assessment or not just when it comes to the physical appearance. Because love itself is not just skin deep. That is the reason why we should ask God perhaps through a devotional prayer, to grant us a prudent or suitable spouse.

This is what so many Church Of Christ members have done and that is why it’s no surprise that marriages in the Church, they last until the proverbial words death do they part. May those who are not yet married, but are endeavoring to do so eventually experience the joy of a lasting marriage, a marriage that was sanctioned by God, a marriage between a man and a woman, members of the  Church who truly adhere to the teachings of our Father in heaven, and they can feel that they are being matched by the Lord our God, and because of this, their marriage would indeed be a joyful and lasting one. Of course, once they are married the importance of living in accordance with the tenets or the statutes of our Father in Heaven, the responsibilities of the husband to the wife, vice versa, the wife to the husband, and if they’re going to be blessed with children, how they should rear those children. If we are going to utilize wisely, the teachings of the Lord our God in every aspect of our life, including when it comes to married life, then we are going to be blessed.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for those wonderful verses. Whatever stage you may be in looking for love, praying for love, being in love, may be falling out of love and being heartbroken. It’s refreshing, inspiring, and it does fill us with hope to know that regardless of whatever stage you may be in romantically, that God is with you every step of the way. Now, just to close it off by Brother Donald, is it different now, because there’s a pandemic, because people are at home, maybe we’re all a little bit more on edge when it comes to dealing with a broken heart? How does somebody who’s isolated at home overcome all of this? Because it’s such a different time to be handling these kinds of emotions. 

Brother Donald: It’s a really good question, Brother Martin, because of course, just being virtually isolated in one’s abode, by themselves under normal circumstances. I mean, there’s just so much pressure, emotionally, mentally. But if you’re going to add that broken heart scenario, because of a failed relationship, but of course, it compounds everything. Definitely, again, we need to believe in the power of prayer. 

But at the same time, even though physically we may be isolated, we can utilize different means of communication, just to reach out to our friends, those who are close unto us just to have a conversation. So if we keep our friends and loved ones in the loop, we try our best to communicate with them, then they can also be God’s instruments in order to help alleviate those adverse feelings that we may be going through because of isolation plus broken-heartedness due to a relationship that just didn’t work out. 

And at the same time, I can’t help but reiterate this point, that when it comes to a young couple who may be courting, but then the relationship just did not work out being members of the Church, we understand that marriage is a lifetime commitment. So it may sound harsh, but at the same time, you know, if there’s no real compatibility, there’s just too many differences when it comes to our characteristics. And that relationship does not work out. Well, when it comes to that pain that we may go through due to a breakup, and we mentioned it earlier, it’s much better than having a lasting pain of having to live with somebody whom there really is not that two-way love, or even to the point that you may separate abodes, but yet you cannot marry again because you know, we stand when it comes to the teachings of God that marriage is a lifetime commitment. That kind of pain is avoided, if before we got married, again, the Lord our God allowed us to really see who our to be spouse, what their true identities and their true characteristics are. 

And perhaps God is showing unto us well, even though they are not a bad person, per se, but when it comes to having that intimate and that lasting relationship in marriage, then perhaps it’s best if you do not continue. So again, it shows the importance of just placing our trust, our hope, and the guidance of God through prayer. We ask God for a suitable spouse, we meet somebody, it’s not compatible. That’s not the suitable spouse that God has in mind for us.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Donald, hearing those words, as someone myself who is now married, it’s so true to trust the process, trust your prayers, and the one that you’re meant to be with is definitely the one you’ll end up with, because they came from God. So thank you so much for that, Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today.

Brother Donald: And thank you so much for having me, Brother Martin it was a pleasure.

Martin Zerrudo: As always Brother Donald. To our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things heart and soul. Oh, and I recently reached out to Jaya to see how she’s doing. And she tells us that she and Blake have resolved their issues. I guess they trusted the process because with God’s help they were able to give it another try. 

Brother Donald: Oh, that’s fantastic news. 

Martin Zerrudo: There’s hope for us all. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to connect, hope we were able to help and hope you’ll join us next time. Ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care.

Posted in Christian Relationships, Heart and Soul, Heart and Soul, Podcast

How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage

How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage
https://storage.googleapis.com/incmedia-org-audio/heart-and-soul/2021/HAS_2021_EP14_WEB_Version1.mp3

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Learn what you should know before popping the big question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage.


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How To Prepare For

A Successful Marriage

[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: Is the next step for you and your significant other marriage? Is it something you’ve already talked about planning for? Is that a topic you’re currently avoiding? What should you know before popping the question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage? 

Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope you’re doing well and are safe at home. Today, our topic is focused on helping our listeners gain a better understanding on what to expect when getting married and what to do to make sure their marriage can be happy and successful. At the end of the day, we want to give you as much information and guidance before you commit to one of the most important decisions of your lives. And joining me today to help us with that is Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Brother Felmar is a husband and father of two and is also the minister on the brand new Happy Life podcast, a podcast where newlyweds can get some tips on having a successful marriage. Hi, Brother Felmar, how are you today?

Brother Felmar: Hello, Martin, and to the Heart & Soul team and to everyone who’s tuning in. I’m doing well, Martin, thank you for asking. And I just like to say it’s a great pleasure for me to be here on Heart & Soul.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Felmar. And thank you for taking the time to help us with such an important topic that is pivotal and is an important topic for many of our young adult listeners. So, when it comes to deciding when a couple in the Church Of Christ should marry, what are some of the questions that they should be asking themselves?

Brother Felmar: To answer that, let’s first be reminded that a true spouse is from God. This is proven to us by the Bible in Proverbs 19: 14 we’ll quote from the New Revised Standard Version: 

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

[Proverbs 19:14 New Revised Standard Version] 

So based on this, one of the very important questions to ask oneself prior to getting married is, is this person that I am courting, or is courting me the answer to my prayers? Is this person the blessing to me from God? 

Another important question to ask oneself prior to getting married is, am I ready for the blessing like what we heard from the Holy Scriptures, house and wealth are inherited from parents, but house and wealth or other possessions are not just things you just receive? Right? You need to take care of them. There are responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. So, so much more when it comes to marriage. 

According to the Bible, in God’s design of marriage, which is the true and right design, there are responsibilities for the husband, and there are responsibilities for the wife, and there are also shared responsibilities. That’s why on the Happy Life podcast, we discuss things like making adjustments, expectations, communication as a married couple for members in the Church Of Christ who are at the courtship stage. Be sure to ask yourselves even before getting engaged. Are you ready for the blessing and the responsibilities that come with marriage? It’s important to consider that you have feelings for each other. But it’s also important to consider how compatible you are with one another, especially when it comes to working together and shouldering and fulfilling the responsibilities that come with marriage. 

It’s important to ask too, if you are ready, financially, mentally and above all, are you ready spiritually? So I hope, Martin, that answers your question regarding some of the things that others ought to be asking themselves before getting married.

Martin Zerrudo: Of course, we want to be able to ask those questions so that it helps us prepare, like you mentioned financially, mentally, and above all spiritually. But some might say, Well, I know some successful couples who weren’t 100% ready financially, and they worked out. Maybe they rushed into it too quickly, but it worked out. What would be our answer to those kinds of scenarios?

Brother Felmar: Well, going back to the Holy Scriptures, to the verse that we just read in Proverbs 19:14, the truth is clear. A prudent wife is from the Lord. So a true spouse will come from the Lord God. So if it is the will of God that He will grant to an individual the true spouse, the answer to that individual’s prayer, and maybe it would not necessarily fit the timeline, so to say, when it comes to the norm, right, on how others have gotten married, but that is the will of God for that particular couple. So by God’s grace and mercy, things will fall into place. 

However, that doesn’t mean that we should rush into marriage. Based on the Holy Scriptures, marriage is sacred, so we ought to be careful, and we ought to make the necessary preparations so that we will be able not only to receive the blessing, but to continue to take care of the blessing of marriage that comes from the Lord God,

Martin Zerrudo: Very true, Brother Felmar, and I guess it just all the more indicates why the decision to get married in the INC is not one we take lightly. So how does one know when they’re ready to make an important decision? What if they feel like okay I may have all my ducks in a row, financially ready, I think God is answering my prayer. How do they know it’s time to make that important decision?

Brother Felmar: Well, I think if those who are currently in courtship can say, “Yes, we care for each other.” So those feelings are there. But they can also say “Yes, we have proven ourselves to be compatible with one another.” Because even though emotionally, you know, they care for each other, they feel deeply about each other. But there are moments that arise where the compatibility is in question, a lot of times they’re fighting. Well, that can’t be a good sign. So that’s something that should be considered. What else? Again, we should also be able to say, “Yes, we are ready financially.” That is something that is important, because according to the Holy Scriptures, we ought to be able to provide for our household. What else should be considered? That we can say “Yes, we are also mentally ready. We are capable of making mature and responsible decisions. But above all, we are ready spiritually.” A man and woman who are about to make that decision to go into marriage must make sure that they are ready spiritually, both are spiritually mature. 

So if we can say yes to all of these questions, then I’d say you’re pretty ready. I’d say, What are you waiting for? Assuming of course, you’re both of legal age. In addition to that, Martin, here’s a Bible verse, a teaching from the Holy Scriptures, that should also be considered here in the book of Proverbs 3:5-6 in the New King James Version: 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

[Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version]

If you trust in the Lord with all your heart, if you acknowledge God, if you pray to Him regularly, the Bible says, “He shall direct your paths.” And that has been the experience of many members in the Church Of Christ, when we were not yet ready for marriage, although maybe we wanted to get married, but God, who knows us better than we know ourselves, He knew that we were not yet ready. God directed us. And when the time was right, God directed us again. But to avail of this wonderful and precise direction from God, it is crucial that we do trust in God with all of our heart, and that we are prayerful.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. As someone who has been married for a couple of years now, can you describe to our listeners, maybe for those who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ, the beauty and the splendor that is a blessed marriage within the Church Of Christ. Can you describe to our audience what that is like?

Brother Felmar: You know, it’s very hard to put into words. It’s very hard to put into words. The Bible teaches us that when we put God first, when we make God our happiness, He will give us our heart’s desire. And that’s why I mentioned earlier, how wonderful it is to have that direction, that precise direction from God, because only the Almighty God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows exactly who the right match will be for us. There are many things we cannot foresee going into marriage. Although you know, with what we can see things may look like they align. But there are also things we cannot see, because we are human beings, we are limited with what we know and what we can foresee. We don’t know what will happen five years from now, 10 years from now. Maybe in courtship, the chemistry is there. But will the chemistry still be there when challenges come, when you may lose your livelihood, or when your spouse is ill? But God knows those things. So again, only the Almighty God knows who the exact match will be for us, who will be our true partner in life and will compliment us on all levels, and above all, will be with us in our services to God. In worshipping Him and putting our faith in Him and in praying to Him, you know, until we make it to our salvation. 

So having said that, to all of our listeners and, and to our friends who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ, the priority would be God. Know God first, make the Almighty God our happiness, understand His teachings and all of his commandments that we must fulfill so that we prove to God He is our happiness. And that’s why we always invite our friends and loved ones to know more about the Church Of Christ. Of course, we’re so happy when we have our friends and loved ones who are with us in the Church Of Christ, but really that invitation is for you. It’s for our friends, so that they will be able to experience how wonderful it is to have the true God and to receive His blessings. And a very important and crucial blessing in life is true marriage that comes from God.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. And as you as a husband, how does that make you feel that that’s a blessing that you’ve been given in life? 

Brother Felmar: It’s humbling that you know, like, the Bible says, when God is your happiness, He will give you your heart’s desire. So those qualities that I hoped for and prayed for, you know, when I was still single and praying for a spouse who not only would be my partner in life, but my partner in the holy ministry, so it is humbling that God, you know, He gave me really like what the Bible says, one’s heart’s desire. I don’t want it to seem like you know, I’m making my wife sound like she’s, you know, this perfect woman. There’s no such thing as a perfect man or woman, right? So, but really, you know, there’s the perfect one for you. 

Martin Zerrudo: So thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for those wonderful verses and the spiritual advice. For our listeners who are considering getting married, and especially for our listeners who are newlyweds, we have a brand new podcast we recently launched and I’d love to share it with you. It’s called Happy Life, where you’ll have none other than Brother Felmar and Host Sister Myrtle Alegado to help provide Bible-based advice and guidance to newlyweds in the INC as they begin their new journey together. Brother Felmar, what can listeners look forward to when they tune in to Happy Life?

Brother Felmar:  So you have to listen to each episode from start to finish, so that you can come away with the complete package that each episode brings, which includes reliable and relevant marriage tips from real life experiences of newlyweds who guest on the show. More importantly, Bible-based teachings, which are the foundation for a happy and enduring marriage. These teachings can be applied to resolving conflicts that may arise in marriage, as well as preventing future conflicts, especially serious ones that could severely harm a marriage. Our warmhearted and spirited host, Myrtle Alegado, does a wonderful job of keeping the discussion meaningful, focused on the topic at hand, and we have fun too. So lots to look forward to on Happy Life.

Martin Zerrudo: I believe you also have an Instagram account.

Brother Felmar: We do. Yes. Thank you for mentioning that, Martin. So yes, please, if everyone tuning in could follow us on Instagram, subscribe on Apple podcast, Google podcast. And of course you can find us as well on our website incmedia.org.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar, thank you so much for joining us for providing that wonderful insight. Please, for all of our listeners continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram,  #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart & Soul. Thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for joining us. We really appreciate it.

Brother Felmar: All praises be to God and thank you as well, Martin, and to the Heart & Soul team.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, this your first time hopefully not the last. We look forward to it in the future. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care.

Posted in Christian Relationships, Common Problems, Heart and Soul, Heart and Soul

Dear Future Husband, Future Wife

Dear Future Husband, Future Wife
https://storage.googleapis.com/incmedia-org-audio/heart-and-soul/2021/HAS_2021_EP10_WEB_Version1.mp3

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What if you could speak to your future husband or wife? What would you say? What kind of message would you leave for them?


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Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife

[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: Have you ever wished you owned a time machine? To be able to fast forward into the future to see what God has in store? And when it comes to love, have you ever wondered when you would meet the one you’re going to get married to? Wouldn’t you want to know right now? 

Well, since we don’t have a time machine, Heart & Soul has the next best thing. What if you could write a love letter, to your future husband or wife?

Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

Dear future wife, I’ll do the dishes AND the laundry. 

Dear future husband, our future home will stay between 68 and 72 degrees at all times.

Dear future wife, whoever you are, wherever you are, we will meet someday.

[Music Transition]

Martin: Back in August 2019, on Instagram at @incmedianews using #heartandsoulconversations we asked our audience to write a short letter, message, or comment to their future wife or husband. Something for their future partner to look back at and read to see just how long they’ve been praying and thinking about them. We had thousands of replies, ranging from those wondering “God, will I ever get married?” to “I trust God’s perfect timing.” We even had a couple of apologies too.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Dear future wife. First of all I would like to apologize. I’m sorry it took so long for me to find you. Sorry I took a detour in my life. But the one thing I’m not sorry about is meeting you and falling in love with you every single day of my life. I may or may not know who you are, but I do know that you will always have a place in my heart and that I will love and cherish you regardless of any trials and hardships that come our way. May we both go on many adventures, and experience new things together. But more importantly, may we always continue to perform our duties and serve the Lord together as one…… 

[Music Transition]

Waiting for the right Christian man to come along is something many of our female listeners are doing right now. But even though they’re waiting, they’re not all in any rush.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Dear future husband, hi! I hope you won’t appear soon, I haven’t graduated yet, I want to make Ma & Pa proud, my dream is to study for my masters and if possible for my doctorate, so take your time, there’s no rush, I know you’ll arrive in God’s perfect time.

Martin: And even if some are eager to find the right Christian man soon, their thoughts remain hopeful, and focused on an even greater purpose.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

To my future husband, I might be so lost right now, but I know I’ll find my way to you, through our God. Wherever you are, I hope you are staying safe and healthy! I can’t wait for the day when I’ll be able to finally meet you. I look forward to come home to you, everyday. For now, let us keep ourselves busy and occupied doing works for our Almighty Father.

Martin: Some of our male listeners even asked for a little patience, while they continued trusting in God for a wife.

[Heart & Soul Listener]

Dear Future Wife: I have a message for you… I know you’re out there. Somewhere. I know you’re waiting for me to find you. But please, I beg you. Be patient. Each day that passes brings me closer and closer to you. I’m working on myself. I want to be that knight in shining armor for you. So I’m working on being more active in the Church than I’ve ever been. I’m working on performing my duties to a higher level. Because it’s the armor of God I want to have on for you. I pray that you can wait for me. I pray for your happiness. I pray for you every day. I pray you’ll be the one that inspires me to be stronger. I pray that you continue to be active in the Church. Because I know that God won’t let us truly see each other until we are both ready.

I can’t promise you that we’ll have a perfect relationship but what I can promise is that I will love you every single day of my life. 

I know i’m not perfect and I have a couple of flaws, but I know you will accept me wholeheartedly. 

I have a lot of things to say to you, my future wife, but I prefer to say it to you personally, whoever you are.

You know our Almighty God knows best, and I trust in His timing. You’ll be worth the wait.

Martin: Joining us now is Bro. Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hello Brother Donald!

Bro. Donald: Hello, Bro. Martin! How are you?

Martin: I’m good. Thank you so much for joining us. Now when you were younger, did you ever imagine the kind of wife you would end up with? How did you meet your wife and what can you say after all these years, on the journey you’ve gone on together?

Bro. Donald: Hello to all of our listeners. And to answer your first question, yes, when I was younger, like many other people I was wondering where out there in the world was Mrs. Right for me. What would she look like? Where would we meet? And how could I be sure that she was the one? All of these and other questions entertained my thoughts especially when I started to enter adulthood.

Then, eventually in 1984, I met Lyda. I never imagined that she would become my wife a few years later. In fact, she was very active when it comes to her Church activities, most especially when it came to inviting people to Church activities, primarily when it comes to the worship services and Bible Studies. And she did exactly for me; she invited me to attend a worship service, which I did. I kept on going because it was interesting and at that time in my life I was really looking for answers. 

Eventually I underwent Bible Studies and all thanks be to God, I eventually become a baptized member of the Church. However, during all that time, when it came to myself and Lyda, we didn’t share any romantic feelings for one another. But, as the passage of time, or as we went through the passage of time, we got to know each other better, and we started to develop and appreciate a deeper understanding, until we reached the point when we realized that it was actually God, God was the one who was bringing us together. So because of this we got married in December, 1986. For many years before then, I had a mental image and assessment of whom I thought would be the wife for me. But instead, I eventually discovered that God knew who was best for me, just as what the Bible teaches in Proverbs 19:14:

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

[Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]

Bro. Donald: And when we say prudent, sensible, and understanding wife a suitable spouse. And that is exactly how I can describe Lyda. She understands me. She is very helpful. And of course she is caring and she’s also loving. So when it comes to single adults this is something that we should understand; that when it comes the soulmate that we may be looking for, when we’re looking for that significant other, we can’t base it just on physical looks. We can’t base it on how we think that person is. We have to really know them but at the same time we need to let the Lord our God act on our behalf. God is the one who will help one or another to find their significant other.

Martin: That’s such a wonderful story Brother Donald. And you know, in the process of you growing up, becoming a young adult, did you ever feel impatient like you wanted that special someone to come sooner? Were you someone who was like, oh, when when she comes, she comes and I’m not in any rush? 

Bro. Donald: Oh, in truth, as I entered into adulthood, of course, the search was on in ways it’s almost automatic. And I was looking for someone significant. Of course, I would meet certain individuals. But that spark, we can say that chemistry wasn’t quite there. So even though it may be fleeting, or momentarily, it wasn’t something that was going to last it didn’t fill that certain void within me. You know, the search went on. 

Martin: Now what advantage Brother Donald do members of the Church Of Christ have one trusting God in their singleness or single life and how does it help them feel less alone? Because for those single right now who might be listening, that’s why there’s so much urgency, is because they feel alone. They feel like they need to fill that void as soon as possible. And that’s why they need to find someone as soon as possible. 

Bro. Donald: Yes, well as being members of the Church Of Christ, what is very, very important, in fact, it’s absolutely critical is for one to place their hope and their trust, and we’re talking about wholehearted hope and trust in God. Because God makes known the reason why we should do so in Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

[Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version]

Bro. Donald: It’s quite evident, then that we should trust the Lord our God to bless us in every stage of our life, whether it be in our adolescence, our teenage years, or when we become adults, because God knows what is best for us at any given point. So some may be adults, and they’re enjoying being single, they’re not in a rush to get married, while others may be seeking earnestly that significant other in their life. When it comes to such individuals, they shouldn’t get anxious, nor envious of their peers, if they see them peeling off and getting romantically involved with someone while they remain playing the virtual waiting game. Because while waiting for the time to come, that they may meet, Mr. or Mrs. Right, and then enter into married life with the spouse that God blesses them with, or they should still continue to trust in God. And in fact, let’s have faith in what the Bible says in Psalms 37:4-5:

Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the Lord trusting Him and He will help you.

[Psalms 37:4-5 Today’s English Version]

Bro. Donald: Again, the key here, I believe Brother Martin, is for one to really place their hope and trust in God, because God knows what’s best, it’s very difficult than it could be a grave mistake to take matters in our own hands in the sense that we meet somebody and without even allowing time to build up a relationship or to get to know that individual, we just rush headlong into marriage. And sad to say it has happened, that there are those who we read about it oftentimes in the news. Were there those who believe that they had chemistry, but that chemistry was just in one aspect of their relationship. And after a short passage of time, they regret their mistakes and they separate ways. Well, this should not be because we also uphold what the Bible teaches about marriage. The Bible teaches that we are bound together by the laws of God, and that is a lifetime bind. So marriage in itself is a lifetime commitment. That is why we should trust God through our prayers, for Him to allow us to meet that individual eventually, that will be right for us. 

Martin: And when you mentioned rushing headlong into commitments, and lifelong promises, like marriage, it all the more points to the importance of timing. So what does the Scriptures say about God’s timing? 

Bro. Donald: Well, nobody can come close. God knows when a perfect time he strikes on our behalf. And the Bible even teaches that in I Peter 5:6-7: 

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you.

[I Peter 5:6-7 New King James Version]

Bro. Donald: Please notice, the Bible teaches that God is going to exalt us, He’s going to bless us, He is going to raise us up in due time or at the proper time. And because of this, it is stated that we should cast all our care upon Him, all of our concerns, including the hope of meeting that significant other through prayer, because the Lord our God, He’s going to manifest his care and love for us. 

Martin: So as we wait for God’s correct and perfect timing, we noticed that a lot of the comments from our listeners was that they’re okay with waiting for God’s time. They’re okay with knowing that he or she will come when the moment is right. And so why are so many members of the Church Of Christ happy to remain focused on improving and working on their duties and their spiritual lives first? 

Bro. Donald: Well, it’s because then we can read in 1 Corinthians 15:58, that when one is busy in serving God, it’s for their betterment. In fact, let’s read the citation. 

So then, my dear friends, stand firm and steady. keep busy always in your work for the Lord. Since you know that nothing you do in the Lord service is ever useless. 

[1 Corinthians 15:58 Today’s English Version]

Bro. Donald: Nothing we do in the Lord service is ever useless meaning to say everything we do in the Lord service is useful or beneficial. All the more we will receive the blessings of God in this life and in the life to come. So that’s why when it comes to many members of the Church, including the young adults, not just the adolescence, they remain fervent when it comes to their worship service, when it comes to helping others to find meaning to the life and existence by inviting them to Church activities, the members of the Church Of Christ, they busy themselves. And this is good in the sight of God. 

And not only that, if we consider it on a human level, instead of just sitting in a corner, and be wailing the fact that we haven’t met yet, our future spouse, if we consider what that will do to a person emotionally is it not more that they will become despondent, they’ll feel down? But at the same time, if one is busy, then we have less time to worry about our situation, we won’t be so so anxious, and again, we will not be envious of our close friends or our peers whom we see are getting married. 

One thing that we’d like to mention to all the young adults inside the Church is that the Lord our God has made us as when we say perfect in the sense that we are complete. We do not need another individual to make our life more significant or to make us complete. That individual may be supplemental, but when it comes to us personally, well the Lord our God has made us just as He wants us to be. That is why again, it is extremely important that we have a positive outlook on our life, we place our confidence in the Lord our God so that we can enjoy our journey through this word or through this life, knowing that through our compliance with the teachings of God, everything is going to go well for us, we can be confident of this, because this is also the assurance the Bible gives in 1 Samuel 12:14:

All will go well with you. If you honor the Lord your God, serve him, listen to him, and obey his commands. And if you and your king follow him,

[1 Samuel 12:14]

Martin: Thank you so much for that Brother Donald. You know, as I listened to the spiritual guidance that you’re providing through the Scriptures, you know, reminds me of when I was in my early 20s, I used to keep a journal and I would write in those moments where I, you know, felt kind of down and alone and was wondering when I would meet the one who was meant to be with. And as I was writing the script for this episode, I found an entry where I was asking, you know, “what am I going to find you? Where are we going to meet? And how long do I have to wait?” And it makes me smile reading that because even though in those moments when I was younger, I thought I had no idea where when or how you’re right that that I never lost confidence that so long as I stayed true to my faith and to my duties and always putting my focus and trust in God that she would arrive eventually. And she did. Praise be to God.

Bro. Donald: Yeah, Praise be to God. Again, we’d like to mention how we shouldn’t become fraught with worry or anxiety as we get older, and we are not yet married. Because what’s most important is our service to God, the ultimate goal. And the aim of every member of the Church is of course, salvation. And on the road to salvation, there are sacrifices, and there are difficulties. There’s a lot of events that we have to endure in order to attain salvation. So for some members of the Church, they don’t mind being by themselves, in the sense that they don’t have a spouse as they continue in their sojourn. 

Others may be looking for a spouse, but again, the Lord our God knows what is best. We should not, you know, just jump and grab at something that may pass us by, and then afterwards totally regret our decision, knowing full well that again, being members of the Church, we abide by the teachings of the Bible, that marriage, again, is a lifetime commitment. We don’t want to make that mistake. That is why it is incumbent upon us to place all our hope and trust in God. God knows when the time is. God knows who that individual should be. And if we have to patiently wait. And while patiently waiting, we remain performing our duties at serving God well again we will be blessed.

Martin: Thank you so much for that Brother Donald, one last question before we end this episode. You’re a very proud and happy father and now you’re also a proud and very happy grandfather. When little Hezekiah gets a little bit older and he starts you know, reaching that stage in his life where he’s thinking about finding the one, what kind of message would you give him? What kind of advice would you pass to your grandson?

Bro. Donald: I would tell Kiah as I call him, to conduct his devotional prayer, when it comes to what will be included in the prayer that God is going to allow him to meet an individual that is going to be someone who not only loves him, and that he in turn loves, but also will be supportive of him when it comes to the faith. That together with God be willing their children, they can remain active in honoring and praising, and also in serving our Father in heaven. That before he gets married, he should be very careful. He does not want the Lord God’s ire or anger to be inflicted upon him, because of the many temptations in this world, but rather to strive to live his life as a as a man of God, even though he may still be young, but a young man of God at that time, knowing full well that again, if he holds on to what God has promised to his chosen people, then he will be successful. And the Lord our God will plot the course of his life, that he can be of benefit when it comes to the Church, that personally he will also be rewarded. And he along with his family, again, they will be blessed

Martin: Well we want to thank you so much for joining us, Brother Donald, thank you so much to our listeners. We want to continue this conversation so please follow us using our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart & Soul. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time, ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care.

Posted in Christian Relationships, Heart and Soul, Heart and Soul

Frontline Essential Workers and Marriage

Frontline Essential Workers and Marriage
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Life during the COVID-19 pandemic is full of adjustments and worry. Now, imagine being frontline essential workers and being newlyweds as well. We hear from Lou and Ray from Grand Rapids, Michigan, about how they handle all the stress and worries they face related to their jobs, so they can keep their marriage strong and happy.


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HL_2021-09 – Frontline Essential Workers and Marriage

[Show opens]

Myrtle Alegado: When the world first heard about the global pandemic, I don’t think anyone was prepared for how much it would impact all of our lives. In our last episode, we met Sean and Vanessa, who talked about some of their struggles adapting to being newlyweds while also adjusting to all of the new government and public health restrictions. 

Now, imagine being newlyweds living in this time of pandemic and you’re both frontline workers. Today, let’s see how two newlywed frontline essential workers handle all of the pressures and stresses of their jobs. 

Welcome to Happy Life, a podcast brought to you by INC Media Audio, that aims to help newlyweds navigate through the first years of marriage. I’m Myrtle Alegado, and I’ve been married to my husband, Paul, since 1999. 

[Show catchphrase]

Inspiration to make your marriage thrive, you’re listening to Happy Life.

In March of 2020, more than 3.9 billion people, or half of the world’s population, were asked to stay home by their governments to prevent the spread of the deadly COVID-19 virus. Thousands lost their jobs due to companies closing or establishments reducing hours of operations. But essential workers, most especially frontliners, like healthcare workers, were asked to keep working, even working overtime with increased risk of exposure to COVID-19. 

On our episode today, let’s welcome Lou and Ray Klipfel from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Hey there, Klipfels, and thanks for joining us today on Happy Life. 

Ray Klipfel: Hi Myrtle. 

Lou Klipfel: Hi Myrtle! How are you doing? Thank you so much for having us here.

Ray: Yeah, we’re really excited for this. 

Myrtle: Oh, we’re glad you took the time to join us today and talk about your experiences. I’m doing well, thanks for asking, and hope you are too. 

Lou: Yes, we’re doing really well here. It’s finally getting warmer where we are in Michigan, so we’re excited for that. 

Myrtle: Did you do anything interesting today? 

Ray: Yeah, we went for a hike over by the beach. Xena needed to get out of the house, so…

Lou: Xena is our little puppy, our dog.

Myrtle: I was just going to say, for those who don’t know… [laughs]

Lou: Yes. [laughs]

Myrtle: That’s nice. Like, you know, it’s always nice to be outdoors and to be able to just get that vitamin D from the sunshine.

Lou: It’s nice that we are able to spend some time with each other on the weekends so that we can go out and enjoy the outdoors. 

Myrtle: Oh absolutely. So, I mentioned you’re both frontline workers. Can you tell us a little bit about what your careers are? So, let’s start with Ray.

Ray: So, I’m active duty on the reserves. So you know, a full-time soldier. And, part of what I’ve gotta do is make sure that our equipment is up to par, it’s fully operational so that way in the event that an issue comes up, you know, our equipment is able to help us in completing our mission. The unit that I’m currently in is actually a water purification unit, and we actually got mobilized at the beginning of the COVID pandemic. Luckily, we didn’t have to really go anywhere at that time. But in the event that we are needed, we’re capable of providing thousands of gallons of purified water to the area that we’re deployed to. 

Myrtle: Oh wow. So you’re basically, when you were mobilized, you were pretty much at the ready, like ready to go anywhere that you were sent to. 

Ray: That’s correct. 

Myrtle: Wow. Okay, and around what month was this? I would imagine March or April of last year? 

Ray: It was around April last year, and we had mobilization orders to go to two different locations.

Myrtle: And how long have you been in the army, Ray? 

Ray: This year actually marks 17 years in service. 

Myrtle: Oh wow.

Ray: So I’ve only got a few more and I’ll be able to hit that 20-year mark. 

Myrtle: Oh wow, congratulations! So, let’s go to Lou now. Lou, can you tell us about your career? 

Lou: So, I work as a registered nurse. I work in the endoscopy and bronchoscopy unit, and we do a lot of diagnostic and interventional procedures. And we see different kinds of patients every day, even those patients who have tested positive for COVID-19 and all kinds of different diseases.

Myrtle: Wow, yeah it deals with the lungs, correct, your area? 

Lou: Yes, exactly.

Myrtle: So, let me share this information with you both. A study revealed that healthcare and frontline workers experienced greater psychological stress than individuals in the general public. Factors include a high workload, poor sleep quality, poor health perception, and low perception of infection avoidance. Healthcare workers experience anxiety and stress. Ray and Lou, I’m sure you can relate to a couple of those. What are the things that you worry about or cause you some stress about your jobs?

Ray: So for myself, so we’re supposed to work about 8 hours a day, but I’m generally working anywhere from 8 to 16 hours a day. And for me, where that causes stress is the fact that I’m working on trying to get a unit fixed on the maintenance side and reestablish a maintenance program that has been absent for a bit of time. And working on getting soldiers, taking care of getting the equipment fixed and serviced. So that way in the event that we do need to get mobilized, then our equipment is ready. 

But then on top of that, because I’ve got those stressors and I’m taking that much time and putting it towards work, that is precious time that I’m actually taking away from family. And so, that’s the biggest stress for me because it’s such a big responsibility, and then I’m trying to find that balance between my personal life and my work life. So that way, I can spend time with my family.

Myrtle: And do you also have to go to training or anything like that? 

Ray: Yes, that’s also something else that we’re doing right now is we’re preparing for our annual training, which is going to actually pull me away from home for approximately a whole month. So there’s a bunch of aspects that we have to put together so that way Lou is able to be self-sufficient while I’m not here, because everything here in Michigan is pretty much new to her. She’s only been actually living here for the last five months. So, it’s a big juggle between work and personal life.

And then on top of that, every month, I’ve actually got [a] battle assembly where it’s the entire weekend that is actually taken away from home because I have to be at work, I have to show up early in the morning. And when I do go to battle assembly, there’s always that possibility that I get exposed to COVID-19 from soldiers that are not typically there at the unit. And so we aren’t always able to, you know, keep an eye on the soldiers and make sure that they’re up to par with their vaccinations or their screenings and things like that. So, when they come in, all they do is they give a verbal screening and that’s about it, along with a temperature check. 

Myrtle:  Yeah, so that’s where you’re worried about the possible risk of exposure to, you know, COVID-19, right? If they’re out and about and then coming into your unit, now I get it, yeah. Understandable that that would be stressful. So, we’re going to switch gears now and go to Lou. So how about you, Lou? I’m sure as a nurse, there’s a lot that you have to think about or worry about.

Lou: Yeah, so every day is different at work. There’s always something different. When you come in for work, you don’t really know what to expect. So for me, I see all kinds of people. And, you never really know what kind of exposure you’ll get during that day, what kind of illness a particular patient may have. A patient could have COVID-19 or any other infectious diseases. And it is stressful because it’s not an easy job. Not only is it, like, mentally stressful, but it’s also very physically demanding. So, those are the kinds of things that I typically worry about when it comes to doing this kind of job. 

Myrtle: Absolutely. You know, we don’t give, I think, frontline essential workers enough credit and especially nurses, what you have to, kind of, encounter day in and day out. So you know, I applaud you. Personally, I thank you for all of your hard work.

Lou: Thank you. 

Myrtle: So you both have your individual worries in your own jobs. Now you’re married to a frontliner. So, what do you worry about for each other? 

Ray: So, for myself, I worry about Lou when she goes to work because you know, especially when we first started talking, because she actually worked in an isolation ward, and she was in contact with really…

Lou: Infectious.

Ray: Infectious diseases. 

Lou: Yeah. 

Ray: So you know, she would go to work, she’d have to make sure she gowned up properly and take all the proper precautions, because otherwise she would be in jeopardy of actually getting these diseases. And then on top of that, you know, when she would drive to and from work, during that drive. 

And then of course, the stresses of her job. You know, I was like, I would always need to make sure that I’m here for her to be able to vent and to talk about her day, because that helps her to de-stress some. And then like right now, I’ve been driving her to work and so I’m having to drive all over the city just so that way I can get her to work, and then I can get to work, and then I try to make sure I get off at the right time so I can get back to her location to pick her up and get her home. So that way, we can go ahead and have our dinner and talk about our day and whatnot. It’s a bit stressful. 

Myrtle: So Lou, what did you worry about with Ray, or what do you worry about still? 

Lou: So when I first started dating Ray, actually, I didn’t know anything about the military life. So that was one of my worries. There’s a lot of things that were unknown to me, that were new to me. And like the chance that he may possibly get deployed really worries me. Or like, for example, he mentioned earlier that he will be going away for about a month for his annual training. I just don’t know what to expect during that time. I don’t know what they will be doing, and there’s not a lot of things that he could tell me, actually. So, those are the things that I worry about when it comes to his job.

Myrtle: You know we talked about earlier, the worry, I guess, of the unknown, you know. So how much does that affect, I guess, your stresses about his job? 

Lou: I just worry about his safety. I don’t know what kind of training they will be doing when he’s away, so he will actually have to travel to get to that location where they will be doing their annual training. And I’m worried about, you know, his travel going there and then coming back, and also at the place. I know that they will be staying at a remote location and that they won’t be having the best kind of like… 

Myrtle: Accommodations?

Lou: Yes, so they will most likely, going to be in the desert somewhere or like out in the field, so the conditions are not the most ideal. Like, his safety of course, is what I’m really worried about and mostly concerned of. 

Myrtle: Okay, so you know, you’ve talked about your own stresses and worries and then what you worry about with each other. How do you help each other cope with all of the worries and the stress?

Ray: So mostly, we just try to be there for one another to vent and just kind of give ideas on being able to overcome or make it around the problems or situations that we might be having, or you know, we’ll find ways of trying to cheer one another up. Usually, I’ll make a little skit or video and send it to her, and it’s always a really goofy video. And it always makes her laugh, you know. 

Lou: Yeah.

Ray: So that’s the key—just being there.

Lou: Yeah, we just talk to each other and make things lighter so that, you know, the worry doesn’t take over us. And we tell each other about our day, try to comfort each other if there’s anything that we are, you know, concerned about. 

Myrtle: And you’ve been, you know, having these conversations and venting to one another

Lou: Yes.

Myrtle: Even when you were long distance because as Ray mentioned, Lou just moved there, pretty much what, five months ago because you’re from here Lou, from British Columbia, and I know that you initially started in Idaho right, Ray? 

Ray: Yes. 

Myrtle: And now you’re in Michigan, so you’re kind of all over the place. And I know that with the paperwork that Lou was waiting for, she was kind of stuck here in Canada until that went through recently. So talk about that, how with your 3-hour time difference even, how you were still able to be there for each other. 

Lou: Yeah, that was a difficult part of our relationship actually, because we were doing long distance and we initially started off with being one hour apart.

Ray: One hour apart. 

Lou: One hour apart, because he was in Idaho, and then he had to get moved to Michigan, and it ended up being a 3-hour time difference. So, like, matching our hours to be able to communicate with each other was difficult. What we did was that when I was living in B.C., whenever I would drive to work, that was our time to talk to each other, and kind of go over things with each other. 

Ray: Yeah, so that would help us start our day, but then she would also… we would do that again in the afternoon when she would actually leave work and drive home. And then that’s when we would also communicate and then go over the day and you know, vent and just try to help clear our minds and support one another. 

Lou: We always ended our day with a prayer. 

Ray: Yeah. 

Lou: Yeah, and that was very good and really helped our relationship, especially being away from each other. It was something that really connected us. 

Myrtle: It definitely sounds as if you both have effective coping mechanisms and strategies to be able to manage your daily stresses. But, you know, I’d really like to know what the Bible can teach us about handling our worries and stresses. Back with us again is a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ, Brother Felmar Serreno. We’re so glad to have you back on Happy Life, Brother Felmar!

Brother Felmar Serreno: Hello Myrtle, hello everyone. If I can just say first, hats off, kudos to Lou and Ray for the way that they have handled various stressful situations in the various circumstances that they’ve been through. They described for us how they were in [a] long distance relationship and even in, you know, in the beginning part of their marriage, for some time they were still apart from one another. For Lou to move with Ray there in Michigan, in this time of pandemic, you know that is another stressful situation. Add to that that they are adjusting to married life, newlyweds as they are. We’re all adjusting, still, to this new normal, we continue to adjust to the various circumstances and the effects of the pandemic. Add to this, they’re both frontline workers. So, kudos to them and I’ve got to say, Myrtle, it seems that they are quite the fit for this episode that has to do with dealing with stress.

Myrtle: Absolutely, yes. And you know, we give them a round of applause for really how they’ve handled everything thus far. 

Brother Felmar: Yes, and we do thank you both for coming onto the show and sharing with us your experiences. But in spite of all of those scenarios that Lou and Ray have been through, and quite possibly, our listeners today are going through similar situations. However, in spite of these, we should not be overcome by worry. Well, what exactly does it mean to worry? According to dictionary.cambridge.org, to worry is “to think about problems or unpleasant things that might happen in a way that makes you feel unhappy and frightened.” 

So, going back to Lou and Ray, they mentioned the many things that they can’t help but to think about on a regular basis. You know, from not wanting to have to bring work home, because family quality time is important, to not wanting to bring COVID home, right? We don’t want to contract, you know, the virus, whether we be at the workplace, or in any other place, and bring that home to our loved ones. 

From making big decisions or handling big responsibilities at work, like what Lou and Ray mentioned, Lou is a registered nurse, Ray is a soldier, but especially in their field, not only do they have to face big decisions and big responsibilities, but they are caring for people’s very lives—as patients in the medical field or soldiers or other officers in Ray’s occupation. So, in the midst of all of this, we’re happy that Lou and Ray shared with us, they cope by regularly communicating with each other. But more importantly, they communicate with God through prayer. 

Now why is it that, as members of the Church Of Christ, we make sure to constantly pray to God? Let’s read what the Bible says in the Book of Psalms, chapter 121, verses 2,3, and 5 in the Good News Bible: 

My help will come from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let you fall; your protector is always awake. … The LORD will guard you; he is by your side to protect you.

[Psalm 121: 2-3, 5 Good News Bible] 

Brother Felmar: So we, as members of the Church Of Christ, pray to God because we know that He’s the One who made heaven and earth. God is all-powerful, which is why we know for sure that God can help. We pray to God because like the Bible says, “your protector is always awake”— so the Lord God is the only One Who can truly protect us and guard us 24/7.

Why else do we turn to prayer? Let’s go to the Book of Philippians, chapter 4, verse 6, still in the Good News Bible: 

Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart.

[Philippians 4:6 Good News Bible]

Brother Felmar: So we turn to prayer because, for one thing, it’s a lot better than worrying. As stated in the definition we heard earlier, to worry is “to think about problems or unpleasant things that might happen.” Well, why do people do this? Why do people worry? Because, human as we are, there are just too many things that we are uncertain of—there are things we cannot control and there are things that are totally beyond our control. 

However, there is a better way to react to uncertainties. Instead of becoming overcome by worry, what should we do? The Bible teaches, “Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need.” That’s why for us in the Church Of Christ, in the face of uncertainties, we turn to the One who can certainly help us; the One who can certainly protect us—the One true God, the Father who is in heaven. That’s why we ought to pray more instead of worrying.

In fact, do you know what the Lord Jesus Christ has to say about “worrying”? Here in the Book of Matthew, chapter 6, verse 27 in the New International Version: 

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

[Matthew 6:27 New International Version]

Brother Felmar: We heard what the Lord Jesus Christ said. In other words, worrying adds no advantage to us at all. So, we praise the Lord God that Lou and Ray are examples of the biblical advice we heard today. While they are newlyweds, adjusting to married life, adjusting as well all this time to this new normal, like the rest of us, but to top it all—they are both frontline workers. And they’ve been doing their job and their duty all this time. Yet, instead of being overcome by the worries, right, because of the dangers and the outcomes that might be, Lou and Ray choose to be confident in prayer. 

May all the newlyweds make the same choice. Entrust to God our marriage, our home, and our future.

Myrtle: Especially during these troubling times, where it’s so easy to become preoccupied with all the worries in this life, Brother Felmar, what we learned just now is great advice for all of us. Thank you once again for visiting us here on Happy Life.

Brother Felmar: Absolutely, Myrtle. God bless to us all. May everyone continue to take care. 

Myrtle: So Ray and Lou, how would you say that your faith together helped you deal with the worries that come with both of your jobs? 

Ray: So just like what Lou was talking about earlier, we started having devotional prayers before we even started dating. And you know, that helped strengthen our faith and, realistically, I believe that that’s what brought us together and it helped strengthen our bond. And then you know, in our prayers, we would always pray for each other, we would pray for our families. If anybody was having a difficult time, we would include that. Of course, we would include our careers as well, because you know those are blessings from our Father. And then, you know, we also tried to heed what’s always put out in the lessons, where we don’t worry about our day to day, and instead we take our worries and place them on God, because that’s one way of showing faith. 

Myrtle: Right.

Ray: Because He’s always there to help us and provide us solutions to our problems. 

Lou: Yeah. So just like what Ray was saying, we always pray for strength to be able to manage or overcome any adversities that we may face in our jobs, and then, once we say it in our prayers, we just leave it up to God and we don’t worry about it. Just like, for example, when I was still in Vancouver, Ray actually got injured while he was at work and had to have surgery. And I was hoping that I would be able to come in to be able to help him recover after his surgery. But at that time, my work schedule didn’t really line up. And also at the same time, I had to quarantine from returning from travel. But I prayed, and I basically left all of my worries to God, and it actually ended up working out. For some reason, my schedule changed that week and I was able to come and be here with Ray, and be able to help him out, and also, at the same time, be able to include that quarantine time.

Myrtle: Oh wow! That’s awesome that, you know, it all just kind of aligned. 

Lou: Yeah, exactly. And that was a blessing. 

Myrtle: Oh for sure. Yes, for sure. So what would your advice be to newlyweds or, you know, maybe even those that are engaged to be wed soon, and they’re also frontliners? What would your tips be for them to be able to handle all of the stress and worries of being frontline workers in the first year of marriage? 

Ray: I would say to always be patient and understanding with one another, because there’s a bunch of stresses that, you know, we all face throughout our days. And then, when our loved one is venting, we need to ensure that we are listening to one another and not just hearing what they’re saying—but truly listening. Because if you just hear what they say, it’s going in one ear and out the other. But if you’re listening, that’s when you truly are able to understand what it is that they may be going through. You might be able to provide some assistance and ideas or brainstorming to overcome these situations. And then of course, when we are venting, we need to make sure that we’re not interrupting one another. 

Lou: [laughs]

Ray: That is something that Lou and I are still working on a little bit.

Lou: [laughs]

Myrtle: [laughs]

Ray: We still… it’s a work in progress. 

Lou: Yeah. [laughs]

Ray: But you know, we’re working on it. 

Lou: We’re working on it. Yeah, I agree that communication is very important and to, you know, make sure to always pray. That’s very important. 

Myrtle: That’s great advice. So you know, Lou and Ray, thank you so much for helping us get a better idea of what it was like for you to be newlyweds and frontline workers at the same time in your first year of marriage. 

Lou: Yes.

Myrtle: I know a lot of us have experienced anxiety this past year and a half, you know. But hearing from your perspective, we can just imagine, you know, what you’ve gone through, and as I said, we appreciate you being frontline essential workers, both of you.

Lou: Thank you.

Myrtle: Round of applause for Lou and Ray. [laughs]

Lou: [laughs] Thank you so much for having us here.

Ray: It was a good opportunity.

Lou: Yeah. 

[Music starts]

Myrtle: The experiences Ray and Lou shared are probably ones that resonate with other frontline essential workers. So, we hope the advice we were able to hear from the Bible will help all of you to continue to pray to God and leave your worries to Him. 

And that’s all we have for you today. To learn more about Christian relationships, please visit incmedia.org, and please visit us on social media by following our Instagram account: @happylife.podcast. Please also remember to share this and our past episodes with your family and friends and all the newlyweds that you know. Thank you from all of us here on the Happy Life team. We’re so glad you joined us today and hope we’ve all been reminded about the blessing of marriage. 

[Music ends]

[Show closes]

Posted in Christian Relationships, Common Problems, Happy Life, Happy Life, Podcast
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