Dealing With Anger

Should we let our anger control our actions? A young mom has a hard time dealing with anger in a healthy way and asks for advice from the Bible.

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Dealing With Anger

[Show Open]

Brother Donald Pinnock: Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining us in another episode of the program, The Solution. I’m Brother Donald Pinnock. In today’s episode, we’re going to hear from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. In fact, she asked us to call her Kelly.

Kelly is having a very hard time dealing with anger in a healthy way. She wants to know how to regulate her emotions and communicate constructively, especially when she’s feeling frustrated and even angry. Let’s hear from Kelly.

Kelly: I rarely get angry, but when I do, I hurt myself. I feel like it’s the only way to relieve the pain and frustration that I would feel at that moment. My biggest trigger right now is when I feel underestimated or unheard. When the people I trust most are inconsiderate of my thoughts or feelings.

Kelly: I also get triggered when there’s a lot going on or if there’s a sudden problem that day or week. But mainly it’s when I feel frustrated with my situation at home.

Kelly: Right now, my family and I are living with my in-laws. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to them, they welcomed me into their home, and I know how much they love and care for my baby. But we’re constantly disagreeing about so many things. Our opinions and our personalities often collide.

Kelly: And so whenever I want to say something to my in-laws, I just let my husband know so that he can talk to them. But there are times when my husband does not relay what I feel or think to my in-laws. Or he does. But they don’t understand me or are not considerate about what I think as a mother. That’s when my anger becomes too much for me to handle. I don’t scream or hurt anyone. I just hurt myself. I want to learn how to approach my family conflict, and how to deal with it in a healthy way.

Kelly: So I guess I really need to learn how I can deal with anger in a healthy way. How can I communicate, in an effective way, how I’m feeling without losing my temper or lashing out? What can I do to avoid feeling so angry and stop hurting myself?

Brother Donald Pinnock: So, Kelly, we are so glad that you made the effort to reach out to us. It’s very obvious that you’re going through an extremely difficult time in your life. And in fact, you’re looking for some guidance to get through it.

Brother Donald Pinnock: Now, of course, we would never claim that we have the solution to your dilemma. But rest assured, the Almighty God does. So let’s consult His advice or counsel as written in the Holy Scriptures for those who, like yourself, may be feeling overwhelmed by their circumstances and resorting to self-harm, as well as outbursts of anger in an attempt to relieve or vent their frustrations.

Brother Donald Pinnock: Now, though we may feel heavily burdened when it comes to the pressures on our personal life, we should turn to God in prayer and allow His words or teachings and promises to guide us in what we should do.

Brother Donald Pinnock: So, instead of hurting our bodies with self-harm, we should continue to keep our body healthy. For this is what the Bible teaches us here in I Thessalonians 5 and the verse is 23, and the Holy Scriptures makes known the following:

“I pray that God, who gives peace, will make you completely holy. And may your spirit, soul, and body be kept healthy and faultless until our Lord Jesus Christ returns.”

[1 Thessalonians 5:23 Contemporary English Version]

Brother Donald Pinnock: So, definitely our Lord God wants His people to keep their bodies healthy. He wants us, in fact, to have a healthy body and mind. He does not want us to hurt or to resort to harming our bodies. Now, what is an important aspect of keeping ourselves healthy? Again, let us consult what the Bible teaches. Here in 1 Timothy, the chapter is four and the verse is eight. We can read this:

“Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is valuable in every way, because it promises life both for the present and for the future.”

[1 Timothy 4:8 Today’s English Version]

Brother Donald Pinnock: We should notice, Kelly, and our dear viewers, that physical exercise has some value. So we should consider incorporating some form of physical exercise into our daily, if not weekly, routine.

Brother Donald Pinnock: However, we should consult with a doctor first to ensure that the exercise regimen we plan to embark upon is appropriate for our present age and health condition, coupled with proper nutrition and appropriate rest. This can only help in maintaining a healthy body and also even a healthy mind. As we can read from helpguide.org:

“Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves tension and stress, boosts physical and mental energy, and enhances well-being through the release of endorphins.”

[helpguide.org]

Brother Donald Pinnock: So, instead of resorting to harming ourselves, we should focus on how to maintain a healthy mind and body. Perhaps it is as simple as going for a walk or just getting on the floor and doing 20 pushups or even 50 jumping jacks.

Brother Donald Pinnock: A controlled physical exertion will help us to maintain an even keel in life, even if we face challenges from time to time. What is of greater importance, however, according to the verse that we just read, is none other than spiritual exercise. Since it, and we quote, “promises life both for the present and for the future.”

Brother Donald Pinnock: Now, how can one exercise spiritually? Well, let’s read what is written here in Proverbs, the chapter is 4 and the verses are 20 to 23:

“My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen to my words. Never let them get away from you. Remember them and keep them in your heart. They will give life and health to anyone who understands them. Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.”

[Proverbs 4:20-23 Today’s English Version]

Brother Donald Pinnock: Because of this, obeying God’s words or teachings—please notice, Kelly, and also our dear viewers—will give one life and health. This is why the members of the Church Of Christ are always admonished to live in accordance with God’s commandments, because this will be for our physical and spiritual health.

Brother Donald Pinnock: It does not mean, however, that we will never experience illness or sickness. But whenever we do, we should follow the instruction of God, as stated here in James 5: 14-15:

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”

[James 5:14-15 New King James Version]

Brother Donald Pinnock: When Church Of Christ members are feeling sick or weak, whether physically, emotionally or even mentally drained, they request for the church officers who can pray for them and anoint them with oil. And coupled with that steadfast faith that the Lord, our God, can and will heal them, they are rewarded with the well-being that they are seeking.

Brother Donald Pinnock: Now, Kelly, you also asked, how can I communicate how I’m feeling without losing my temper or lashing out?

Brother Donald Pinnock: Well, first of all, Kelly, we have to consider that if we would speak harshly to others, inadvertently, we would be hurting the people who are the closest and most cherished in our life. For sure, you do not want to hurt emotionally your spouse, your children or other family members.

Brother Donald Pinnock: So we should heed the following biblical advice. Let’s read here in Ephesians 4 and the verse is 29 and the Bible states this:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

[Ephesians 4:29 New International Version]

Brother Donald Pinnock: We should strive then to converse with others, especially when it comes to our dearly beloved family members, in a manner that will be beneficial and not detrimental to the listeners. If we do feel, however, that we are incapable of having a meaningful or civil conversation at any given time, perhaps we could politely explain to others that we prefer to talk at a later time when our emotions are not running so high.

Brother Donald Pinnock: We have to face the reality, however, that we can never be totally free from experiencing the pains, the stress and even the hardships of life. But this is the very reason why Church Of Christ members place their hope in the following promise of the Lord Jesus Christ, as recorded by the apostle John in his writing, chapter 16, the verses are 20 to 24:

“I tell you for certain that you will cry and be sad, but the world will be happy. You will be sad, but later you will be happy. When a woman is about to give birth, she is in great pain. But after it is all over, she forgets the pain and is happy, because she has brought a child into the world. You are now very sad. But later I will see you, and you will be so happy that no one will be able to change the way you feel. When that time comes, you won’t have to ask me about anything. I tell you for certain that the Father will give you whatever you ask for in my name. You have not asked for anything in this way before, but now you must ask in my name. Then it will be given to you, so that you will be completely happy.”

[John 16:20-24 Contemporary English Version]

Brother Donald Pinnock: The Lord Jesus Christ reminds us that even if His true followers, the members of His Church that bears His name, the Church Of Christ, would experience sadness and pains in this life, we must look forward to the day when He will return, because then we will be gifted with a joy or happiness that no one can take away from us.

Brother Donald Pinnock: And while waiting for that day, the Lord Jesus Christ reminds us of the paramount importance of prayer, that we should ask God for whatever we need in Christ’s name so that our request may be granted unto us.

Brother Donald Pinnock: Dear Kelly, we are inviting you, along with all those who are viewing this program, to experience the help that the members of the Church Of Christ receive from the Almighty God at all times, but especially in times of extreme challenges and adverse situations in life.

Brother Donald Pinnock: We invite you to join us when it comes to our Bible studies, whether online or in person, and learn more about the Church Of Christ. Experience the warmth of the members’ sincere concern and love for their fellow man. And discover the reason, firsthand, why the members of the Church are so optimistic, even in the most trying times. All because of God’s promised power and love.

Brother Donald Pinnock: We also invite those who may be going through a tough time right now to contact us directly with whatever problem or situation that you may be going through. And with the guidance of God’s words written in the Holy Bible, let’s find the solution together.

Brother Donald Pinnock: Dear friends, please stay safe. Stay strong and stay prayerful.

[Show close]

Keeping The Burns Hill Food Pantry Filled

Food insecurity is a real issue in Guilford County, North Carolina. So INC Giving volunteers from High Point stepped up to fill up the Burns Hill Community Food Pantry.

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Keeping The Burns Hill Community Food Pantry Filled

[show open]

Text: Food security-All people, at all times, have physical, social, and economic access to sufficient, safe, and nutritious food. -United Nations’ Committee on World Food Security

Text: There are over 112, 316 residents in High Point, North Carolina. They have a food security rate of 17.1% in Guilford County alone.

Jerry Mingo: In 2015, High Point and the Guilford County area was considered a food desert. We had the highest food insecurity in the nation.

Text: Jerry Mingo and the community leaders of the High Point and Guilford came together to battle the issue of food insecurity.

Jerry Mingo: One of the challenges we have, as far as our food pantry, is getting food in since the pandemic started in March. Our clientele has doubled. So we still get donations, but it’s been a challenge.

Text: For INCGiving volunteers of High Point, they saw this as an opportunity to work with their community and fill in the gap that the pandemic caused.

Text: With smiles and cars filled with food donations, they headed to the Burns Hill Community food pantry.

Jerry Mingo: I hope to see in the future with our organization, and the Church Of Christ, a lasting partnership. I think we both have the same ideas for the need in the community.

Text: Helping the food pantry replenish their supplies was an afternoon well spent.

Text: Follow us at Facebook and Instagram to see how you can be a part of the next outreach effort.

[show close]

Coping With Feeling Blah During The Pandemic

For anyone who’s struggling to stay positive during the pandemic, the Bible offers hope.

As more and more people are being vaccinated against COVID-19, case counts are dropping and many places around the world are beginning to reopen. But that is not the reality for everyone, as dangerous variants of the virus remain a threat. So, people continue to wonder if and when we will ever see our lives and interactions resembling what they were pre-pandemic.

A recent article from The Washington Post argues that we will likely never see herd immunity in the United States, and another article suggests that the immuno-compromised are still under the threat of COVID-19, even if they are vaccinated.

So, as time passes, the continuing uncertainty weighs down on all of us. For those gaining increased freedoms, they still cannot travel and see those still confined at home.

On top of our physical weariness, after a year of pandemic life, we can now add psychological and emotional weariness, which The New York Times describes as languishing. The author writes, “It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless.”

It’s as if there’s just not enough energy to feel sufficient joy or motivation to move, and if they are moving, they’re not moving very fast, they’re kind of just stuck, feeling….. blah. Languishing. Yes, an apt description. Failing to make progress or to be successful.

Does the Bible provide any advice for God’s people who are feeling aimless during this COVID-19 pandemic? What exactly does God want us to do to make this time worthwhile?

How to get through languishing pains during the pandemic?

God teaches us the following:

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.”
— II Corinthians 4:8-9 The Living Bible

Even though God’s people may experience difficult times in our lives, just like the pandemic that we are still going through after more than a year, we are admonished to not feel crushed, to never quit, and even if life knocks us down, to not be knocked out; rather to get up and keep on going.

So, if we feel like we are not getting anywhere at present, we need to mentally and virtually just GET UP! And deal with our life. A positive frame of mind is absolutely essential in order to tackle and overcome feeling forlorn, or as if we are standing still.

Still, if one feels deeply mired in negativity and hopelessness, he may indeed seek help. When we are facing similar challenges in life, the Lord God is the only one who is always ready to assist us.

“Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; he created all the world. He never grows tired or weary. No one understands his thoughts. He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.”
— Isaiah 40:28-31 Today’s English Version

Though we may feel weak, exhausted and just downright tired of the restrictions imposed on us due to this pandemic, we must place our hope and trust in God who will grant us the renewed strength, determination and confidence we need to pull ourselves out of the rut we may find ourselves in.

The future looks bleak. How can one still be successful?

Considering the current economic climate, one could very well develop hesitancy when it comes to his career and personal goals. But who is going to help us attain success, regardless of the uncertainty of our times?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
— Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version

This is the very reason why Church Of Christ members trust their future to God. Regardless of the conditions of the world, He is more than capable of giving us success in all our plans.

young man thinking and looking out the window

Still, I’m missing the joy and happiness of pre-COVID life

The abrupt and lingering condition of being cloistered at home, and the loss of the freedoms usually enjoyed in an open society, has really impacted many people. The yearning to return to a semblance of pre-COVID life is immense. But if we engage in a deeper introspect, we will realize the futility of placing our hope in this world. The problems of man’s life are multiplying and intensifying: extreme weather conditions causing flooding and scathing fires, civil wars resulting in colossal numbers of refugees, an economic downturn caused by this persistent pandemic, and so much more. This is why members of the Church Of Christ take to heart this pronouncement of the Bible:

“The earth itself will stagger like a drunk, sway like a hut in a storm. The world is weighed down by its sins; it will collapse and never rise again.”
— Isaiah 24:20 The Good News Bible

So, instead of placing our hope in this world, we should look forward to what God is preparing.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
— Revelations 21:1-4 New International Version

This is what we should place our hope in, and focus our attention on. For just as sure as this world is coming to an end as we know it, there will be a place for those whom God recognizes as His own. So, while waiting for that glorious day to dawn, we can take advantage of the time we have.

What should we do while we’re confined at home?

The Bible teaches us how to make the most of every day: we need to make good use of every opportunity we are given.

“Make the most of every opportunity you have for doing good…”
— Ephesians 5:16 Living Bible

“…and make the most of every opportunity for growth.”
— Ephesians 5:16(a) The Remedy New Testament

So while we are at home, we can focus on our spiritual growth. What can we do to improve our lives so that we can better serve God? The content on incmedia.org helps us put into practice the reminders we are given during our worship services. For example:

Improve your diet, including what you listen to. Read this blog about adding Christian podcasts to your playlist. And find out how listening to Christian podcasts can help you grow mentally and spiritually stronger.

This podcast is about how simply decluttering can reduce stress. After decluttering her entire home, Natasha learned she is living a more stress-free life filled with meaning and she’s encouraging others to do the same.

As the world is undergoing change (and not for the better) we can change for the better. No more feeling sorry for ourselves! Let’s get up and about and work on improving all aspects of our life, and most especially, our relationship with God and Christ.

This blog was written by Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. An ordained minister for over 18 years, he hosts the show, The Solution, where he helps individuals find solutions to life’s problems by turning to the Bible.

Cómo Dios puede ayudarte a tomar las decision

¿Quieres aprender a tomar las decisiones correctas—no a través de adivinos sino a través de Dios? Aprende en la Biblia cómo Dios puede ayudarte a tomar las mejores decisiones para tu vida.

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Cómo Dios puede ayudarte a tomar las decision.

Entrevistada: Con Dios y con ayuda profesional.

Entrevistado: Él analizó todo el proceso y de ahí el siguiente día tengo otros diferentes pensamientos y los anoté igual en la libreta.

Entrevistado: La decisión, él la solución que yo tome que me haga sentir en paz. Y esa es la que yo tomo. O sea, si tengo dos opciones, la opción que yo voy a tomar es con la cual yo me sienta en paz, que me dé paz interna, porque yo soy espiritual.

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: En este episodio de El Mensaje, aprenden lo que necesita cuando se enfrenta a una decisión difícil.

[Apertura del programa]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: Hola y bienvenidos a El Mensaje. Nadie toma una decisión difícil con la esperanza de un resultado negativo. De hecho, muchos de nosotros tratamos de hacer lo que podemos para asegurar que nuestras decisiones logren resultados positivos.

En muchas culturas hispanas y latinas, hay supersticiones y prácticas que garanticen supuestamente prosperidad y resultados positivos en la vida.

Hay rituales para rechazar los espíritus malos, como el uso de un huevo para atrapar la energía negativa que podría haber sido causada por las malas decisiones en el pasado. Y luego, están los adivinos que cobran por un vistazo al futuro y el resultado de sus decisiones, antes de hacer ellos.

Pero, ¿cómo peligroso para nosotros es encomendar nuestra toma de decisiones en estas prácticas o incluso rituales? ¿Qué podemos esperar si nos volvemos a los médium y los adivinos en busca de ayuda? Aquí está lo que dice la Biblia en Isaías 8:19:

Y cuando os digan: Consultad a los médium y a los adivinos que susurran y murmuran, decid: ¿No debe un pueblo consultar a su Dios? ¿Acaso consultará a los muertos por los vivos?

[Isaías 8:19 La Biblia de Las Américas]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: Debemos notar que incluso antes, había personas que pidieron la ayuda de médium y adivinos. Pero, ¿dónde debemos acudir cuando tenemos que tomar decisiones? Esto es el consejo sano de la Biblia en Proverbios 3:5-6:

Confía en el SEÑOR de todo corazón, y no en tu propia inteligencia. Reconócelo en todos tus caminos, y él allanará tus sendas.

[Proverbios 3:5-6 Nueva Versión Internacional]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: A menudo, tomamos decisiones con la expectativa o esperanza de un resultado positivo. Pero, ¿tenemos el conocimiento suficiente para evitar decisiones que podríamos lamentar más adelante? ¿Cuál es el peligro de trazar el curso de nuestra vida usando nuestra propia sabiduría y el juicio? Esta es la advertencia de la Biblia en Proverbios 14:12:

Delante de cada persona hay un camino que parece correcto, pero termina en muerte.

[Proverbios 14:12 Nueva Traducción Viviente]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: ¿Dónde podemos recibir el consejo de Dios? Y ¿por qué estamos seguros de que nos podemos beneficiar de las palabras de Dios?

Esta es la declaración del Apóstol Pablo en 2 Timoteo 3:15-17:

y que desde la niñez has sabido las Sagradas Escrituras, las cuales te pueden hacer sabio para la salvación por la fe que es en Cristo Jesús. Toda la Escritura es inspirada por Dios, y útil para enseñar, para redargüir, para corregir, para instruir en justicia, a fin de que el hombre de Dios sea perfecto, enteramente preparado para toda buena obra.

[2 Timoteo 3:15-17 Reina-Valera 1960]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: Entonces, ¿por qué una persona debe consultar a Dios antes de tomar una decisión? En Jeremías 29:11, esto es lo que dice el Señor Dios:

Mis planes para ustedes solamente yo los sé, y no son para su mal, sino para su bien. Voy a darles un futuro lleno de bienestar.

[Jeremías 29:11 Traducción en lenguaje actual]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: Antes de continuar, vamos a echar un vistazo a la historia de un joven cuyos planes para un futuro brillante lo llevó a un lugar inesperado:

Entrevistado (Hermano Ricardo): Antes de conocer al Hermano Ezequiel estaba estudiando, efectivamente, estuve haciendo un ciclo de grado superior de documentación sanitaria. Al terminarlo, pues decidí hacer el acceso a la universidad y fue donde lo conocí a él. Conocía la Iglesia a través de un hermano que estudiaba junto conmigo para hacer el acceso a la universidad.

El hermano era el Hermano Ezequiel Silva, que me invitó a asistir a un GEM que realizaba la Iglesia. Bueno, me explicó un poco qué es lo que hacían, cómo la hacían y bueno, me llamó un poco la atención el poder asistir y ver como realmente la hacían. Y bueno, me gustó mucho y decidí continuar escuchando.

Lo primero eran las ganas, las ganas de querer seguir descubriendo la verdad. No pensaba en cómo ni los obstáculos que podrían surgir, simplemente iba día a día siempre que podía. Y gracias a Dios que no tuve ningún problema en la asistencia.

Bueno, no puedo describirlo exactamente, pero fue paso a paso, fue ir poco a poco, fue cuando me di cuenta que ya estaba dentro. Fue una sorpresa, no me esperaba llegar tan lejos y de pronto pues me veía ya bautizado y de verdad que me sentí contento en ese momento. Estuve muy feliz de haber podido lograrlo, haber podido conseguir entrar en la Iglesia.

Bueno, yo creo que todos los que estamos dentro de la Iglesia nos sentimos, sin lugar a dudas muy afortunados, somos realmente bendecidos. Es una felicidad enorme el estar aquí y tener la posibilidad de salvarnos, de alcanzar, ser herederos de la Ciudad Santa es sencillamente fantástico.

Trato de invitar a mi familia, a algunos conocidos, amigos, para que ellos también puedan venir y conocer por ellos mismos a nuestro Señor Dios.

Desde luego que sí, ser un instrumento de nuestro Señor Dios es una gran bendición, ser una herramienta para compartir con los demás, con nuestros prójimos, los más allegados a nosotros. Nuestra fe es, creo que el anhelo de cada uno de nosotros.

No sabría decirte cuál sería mi vida, puesto que no me ahora me costaría imaginar una vida. Fuera de aquí sin estar sirviendo a nuestro Señor, sin cumplir con sus leyes. Es ahora mismo impensable para mí. No sabría responderte a ello.

Pues que sencillamente es nuestro Señor Dios Él que nos busca, Él que nos llama a formar parte de su Iglesia.

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: Como acabamos de ver en la historia de Hermano Ricardo, las palabras de Dios nos puede dotar a fondo de todo lo que nos podríamos encontrar en esta vida, y tienen la ventaja añadida de hacernos sabios para la salvación. Por lo tanto, después de hacer un balance de nuestra situación y esbozar las posibles opciones disponibles para nosotros, ¿qué debemos hacer ahora? La Biblia nos advierte aquí en Santiago 1:5:

Si a alguno de ustedes le falta sabiduría, pídasela a Dios, y él se la dará, pues Dios da a todos generosamente sin menospreciar a nadie.

[Santiago 1:5 Nueva Versión Internacional]

Hermano Gilbert Aniciete: Cuando hay que tomar una decisión que puede tener grandes consecuencias, ¿por qué no hacer lo que es probado y verdadero? Ora a Dios, que es no sólo está dispuesto, sino que también es capaz de ayudarnos, y Él nos guiará en todas las decisiones que tomamos.

Soy el Hermano Gilbert Aniciete y gracias por unirse a nosotros en nuestro estudio de El Mensaje.

[fin de programa]

Reflecting on Lessons Learned (Season 1)

Podcast: Play in new window

An episode that looks back at all the conversations from this past season of what it’s like making changes in life and benefits of learning from others.

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Aliw Garcia Pablo: Hi, everyone, welcome to Episode 10 of the Making Changes podcast. Episode 10 already! I can’t believe it. Well, we just want to say thank you to all of you who have listened and have messaged us to say how much certain episodes have moved you and helped you go through a change in your life. So as we close out Season One of Making Changes, we wanted to do an episode that looks back at all the conversations we’ve had, and some life lessons that have been learned and shared. And it’s been great hearing from our listeners on our Making Changes Podcast, Instagram account. And here are some of the messages that we received from you on some changes you’re ready to make.

[Music starts]

Merck: A change I am ready to make in my life, just to become more physically active.

Mia: …is to only take on what I can handle. And I really, really want to do the best and everything that I set my mind to.

Morgan: I heard a saying on the radio the other day, and they quote, “When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment around it. Best change you can hope for can only come from God. However a change in the scenery and perspective can replenish your hope.”

Brainard: One thing that I want to change is finding the balance in my everyday schedule.

Kath: …less overthinking, work less, and pray to God.

Also, more planning and sticking to it with discipline and not insisting on my devotional prayers.

Michelle: In our society, we tend to shame people a lot. And I don’t want to do that anymore.

[Music ends]

Aliw Garcia Pablo: It seems at the time of quarantine has really helped people to step back and look at parts of their lives that need changing and improving, especially when it comes to relationships. And speaking of relationships, we’re going to do something a little different in this episode. My co-host today is Martin Zerrudo who’s going to tell us about the exciting new season for Heart & Soul, another very popular INC Media podcast.

Now, Heart & Soul is a podcast about real conversations with people around the world about love and relationships guided by the words of God. So I thought it would be kind of neat for us to reflect back on Season One of Making Changes while talking about what we have to look forward to for the new season of Heart & Soul. So join me in welcoming Martin Zerrudo. Hey, Martin.

Martin Zerrudo: Hey, Aliw. Man, thank you so much for having me. First of all, congratulations on the amazing Season One of Making Changes. Really amazing.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Thank you!

Martin Zerrudo: Oh, you’re very welcome. No, thank you. It’s refreshing content for all of us who have yet to kind of look at life through that kind of lens or perspective or filter. So it’s, it’s really interesting, every single episode and you know, since we’re on the topic of Making Changes, and quarantine and pandemic…

Aliw Garcia Pablo: No, I was going to say, well, here in California, where we’re from, you know, things are kind of opening, have opened up actually. And we’re kind of slowly moving back to normalcy if that’s what we want to call it, new normal, but I know they’re in Toronto, where you’re at, you know, you guys are still pretty much in quarantine, aren’t you?

Martin Zerrudo: Yeah, we’re not making any changes at all. We’re staying exactly in the same place.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: No changes, huh?

Martin Zerrudo: No changes, no change, no color changes, no zone changes, or stage changes. We’re just, we’re just staying at home changing our clothes, I guess what we’re doing. So I mean, I think hopefully, we’ll get there in some shape or form of normalcy. But in terms of those changes, what would you say to yourself in the craziness of this past year and a half or so, what has been the biggest change for you?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: You know, when quarantine started, right? Last year, I think, I mean, there are so many statistics that show that people really got to spend time doing things they wouldn’t normally have time to do. So I think for me, one of the biggest changes is obviously number one, I’m spending more time with my family, talking to my kids more, my husband more and you know, thank God, we still really like each other. And, I think the biggest change is just also making the conscious effort to actually go for a walk every day. And that’s actually when I really got into podcasts was during quarantine because going out for going out on a walk with a dog and just having more time for self-improvement things whether it be really making the time to work out, making the time to journal and praying more, quarantine has really forced us to stop and think about things that we normally didn’t have time to think about.

Martin Zerrudo: For sure.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: I know you guys are still in quarantine mode. But what has been the biggest change for you this past year, you think? I mean, you’re still a newlywed, you know…

Martin Zerrudo: I am. We’re still in year two.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Year two. A newlywed in quarantine. What was that like?

Martin Zerrudo: So we got married in 2019 in October and then a year and a half of pandemic. So within this pandemic, I got married. Me and my wife–we started off in my bedroom on a twin bed in a townhouse with like, seven people, so super cramped. And then we moved twice in the pandemic. And then and yeah, so it’s been a lot of changes.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: A lot of changes

Martin Zerrudo: A lot of changes, but you know, what I think I’ve realized is–the love has changed. I think the love between family members: you’re around them more often, because you’re at home, the way that you communicate, and the way that you live your individual lives in the same space has affected the way that you interact so much. But the love changes because you kind of grow in understanding, and definitely in patience. Whether it’s me and my wife, getting to know each other in this new stage as a married couple, between me and my brothers, and my sister-in-law, me and my parents because we all lived in one space at one point. Yes, so the love changes. But I think in a positive way because it kind of forces you to explore areas of your relationship with your parents and your siblings and your family and your friends that you never would have had this pandemic now forced us in these unique living situations or restrictions or methods of communication.

Like I never thought there would be so much value just looking at my friends like looking at you, in this video call even though it’s just digital. That means something now to so many people because we haven’t been able to see each other because he can’t fly, he can’t travel, he can’t go out of your home or your city. So yeah, the love has changed. But I think it only enhances, and kind of makes you, just realize how special the physical time face to face time and the ability to spend time with people, how much that really matters.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: I think when you say the love has changed, the love has made us definitely more grateful for the people that we still do have in our lives. For both of us, we’re blessed that both sets of our parents are still alive and with us. And so I think, you know, during the pandemic, my parents are both retired and they live three blocks away from me with my sister. And so, you know, they really couldn’t leave their home for a long time. And, you know, there was such a protectiveness that we then take on when it comes to our elderly loved ones, right. And so I think overall, the loss of life has made so many people just change in perspective and gratitude and appreciation, and making time to actually to think about that, you know, and for us in our family prayers, we often say that, “may we never take for granted any of Your blessings. Whether it be the small blessings or big blessings…” because there’s really no small blessing…

Martin Zerrudo: For sure.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: …since tomorrow is never promised.

Martin Zerrudo: And a great way to kind of appreciate and never take for granted that kind of blessing. It’s just being able to talk about it.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes.

Martin Zerrudo: Talk about what it’s somebody who maybe has never heard of those blessings that you’ve gone through or that you’ve received. And so when it comes to the Making Changes podcasts and those kinds of conversations, and the blessings that your guests discussed, what would you say or do you have a favorite conversation or episode about those kinds of perspectives and blessings?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Gosh, after every episode, we always say, “That’s my favorite episode.”

Martin Zerrudo: That’s the best one.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: That’s the best one, right? And I think that’s what’s been so great. The blessing of this podcast is we, in one season, tackled, kind of some really, really depressing types of subjects, whether it be grief, death, chronic illness, homeschooling your kids as teacher moms, our most recent one is moving away from home and college. I think there’s not really so much that they’re really depressing, but rather, topics, or conversations, that not a lot of people are having because they’re hard, because they’re sad.

Martin Zerrudo: Right.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: So I think every single one is a favorite episode simply because it’s a conversation that we need to have. Maybe some people may not want to listen to it right now because it’s too heavy. But when that time in their life comes, they’re going to have to face grief. We hope they remember Oh, wait a minute, making changes did an episode on that. Let me take a listen. You know, and it’ll still be there and they’ll still be relevant. But talking about relevancy. I think our most recent episode about, you know, being strong Christians while away in college, I think for me, was a favorite one because I’ve got two college kids here at home. They’re not moving away from home. But they’re at home. And I really, and they listened to–one of them listened to it. And I also think it’s because of just where I am in my stage in life, where I have a lot of friends who are right now facing the empty nest phase, right? So I just really feel like that episode is a favorite, because it’s going to help so many people.

Martin Zerrudo: You know for sure, there are so many different methods of saying goodbye in different ways in which you’ve had to say goodbye, especially in this last year and a half. But particularly with that episode, where you’re saying goodbye to your kids because they’re transitioning to another stage in their life. What are some of the fears that you have, as a mom knowing that eventually, they’re going to want to have to leave the nest and venture off and start that next space?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: You know, as a parent, there are so many different fears, depending on the stage of the child, right? When they’re walking, you’re fearful that they’re going to grab something and put it in their mouth that they shouldn’t have. And then they’re going to choke and all that stuff. And then now they’re walking, now they’re out in the world, in school, and you’re worried like, Is someone going to bully them, and then they’re in high school, and you’re worried about peer pressure. So at every stage as a parent, there are always worries. So I think right now with where they are in their lives, I’ve told them this directly, too is that sometimes the fear is, they end up being a person that we don’t even recognize anymore. Like, wow, you’ve changed so much, I don’t know who you are, is this the child we raised? Are they going to remember everything we’ve tried to teach them spiritually–when it comes to faith, when it comes to values when it comes to dealing with people when it comes to dealing with problems because this generation of kids, they’ve grown up with, everything they could ever need and want in life, right? Versus, for example, the way my husband and I grew up, right, we, you know, they always say, with every generation, the parents always want to give their kids more than they ever had.

Martin Zerrudo: Yes

Aliw Garcia Pablo: So I think the fear is for them to take for granted what they have. And not take time to look at the blessings and only focus on what they don’t have. Because for me, if you have gratitude, you have gratitude to God, your gratitude to those you love. That is more powerful than whatever struggle or suffering you’re going through. Because gratitude is what will ground you back, pull you back, rein you in, to really step back and have the perspective of like, man, I am still blessed.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: I may be going through A, B, C, and D. But look at the overall picture. I am so blessed. So one of my biggest fears is my kids won’t have grit in life, and easily break.

Martin Zerrudo: Right.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: And not be able to know how to handle struggles and failures. So that’s it. Strength, right? I always pray for strength for them. And to make the right decisions and to always choose wisely.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely. So many lessons: a lesson of gratitude, a lesson of strength. Were there any other lessons? Or was there one lesson when it came to your guests? Or a conversation that you had on Making Changes that really helped you? Or did those conversations really support those lessons of gratitude and of strength and resilience?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: You know, I think with every episode, even though our guests didn’t necessarily all know each other, right, but if you listen to their stories, their stories are so similar in the sense where yes, I was a nurse in the middle of a pandemic. Yes, it was hard. I was worried. You know, my kid got sick. I was worried. Am I gonna get the virus and that… but I just made sure I prayed before my shift, after my shift, and then I just had that confidence. Or another episode, you know, yes, I was diagnosed with cancer as a 10-year-old. Yes, it was hard. I went through this, this, and this, but I prayed, and I knew that God was with me. So now I am much braver than I thought it was going to be.

So resilience, I think resilience and bravery and courage, the number one, comes in different shapes or forms. It can come with a nine-year-old child diagnosed with cancer, or it can come with a seasoned nurse, dealing with a very busy Hospital in New York who, just inundated with COVID cases. But at the end of the day, no matter what the person’s life context is, it’s the faith of that person, how it grows and develops, but that every challenge that our guests went through, even though it was hard at first, in the end, they were thankful for it.

Martin Zerrudo: Nice. And you know, it’s funny, there are so many more stories of thankfulness out there. And so when you look back at this First Season of Making Changes, what would you say you’ve been most thankful for? And what do you have to look forward to for the next season?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Honestly, I’m just thankful that people were willing to sit down and talk. And some of them we met for the first time on the podcast. I was just thankful that people were willing to share their stories. And that I’m thankful that we have this platform. We have this platform to talk about things that are hard conversations that maybe people aren’t having within their small circles. But if it means that they can listen to this podcast and get the advice that they can get, while they quietly struggle, then I feel like we’ve, this podcast has done its job and really strengthened people’s faith, strengthened their resilience and their courage and faith, faith in God overall.

[Music starts]

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Martin, what was your favorite episode of Making Changes? Oh oh, now we’re going to test you.

[Music ends]

Martin Zerrudo: Man, well, you know, I have to say, the most recent one only because it just makes me recall a time. So I went to college, two times, for two completely different majors. None of which I’m really doing. But that’s okay. That’s a different story. It’s a different podcast episode. But I remember I didn’t really have a set group of friends, I didn’t really always hang out with only you know, hey, you want to hang out after class. I was just there for the course.

Take the class, take the test, whatever, and then leave. Take the exam and then leave, hand in the assignment, then leave, go to the lecture and then leave. On the last day of college, they like, “Hey, we’re all graduating from this program now. Do you all want to go to the restaurant and eat?” So I was like, “Okay, cool. I’ll go.” I don’t really hang out with those people. But I went, I’m like, “Okay, now we’re not going to see these guys again, probably. So let’s just, let’s all eat.” And I’m just, we’re all having fun. And I’m like, “Okay, I’ll loosen up”, and I’m making some jokes, and they’re laughing. And they turned to me, and they’re like, “Martin, how come you didn’t hang out with us more during these last four years?” And for a second, I was like, “you know what I should have, right? Because this is so much fun.”

But then it made me realize sitting there in that restaurant like my goal was never to create a new or find a new community of friends–is nothing wrong with making those connections. There’s nothing wrong with relying on each other to get through the challenges of post-secondary life, whether in university, a community, a trade, school, whatever. It’s hard, and it’s obvious you’re in the trenches together for four years.

So you’re seeing these people going through the same thing. So you rely on one another. But for me, I already had that. I had that with my brothers and sisters at Church, I had that with my loved ones and my friends in the Church Of Christ. I had that. So I guess I didn’t really need to do that. And then the second time I went to university, I did even less, I barely talked to anybody else. And I just wanted to go to class and then I left. When I listened to that episode, where one person went to Korea and another was moving, so they can go to the University of San Francisco, you can really tell from one of the guests, the one who’s about to go to university, she’s like, wide-eyed and super excited and ready to go. And the other one, who has already gone through that experience, is much wiser than it was like, yeah, this is what you see around you. There’s a drinking culture in Korea, and everybody’s going out all the time. And I totally relate to her because that was never, that doesn’t really it’s not really your objective. It’s like one of those things that they sell you like, hey, college is gonna be the best years of your life, you’re gonna have new experiences.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: No. That’s a really great point. You know, as members of the Church, I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about being part of our INC family is that we already have that, right? We have that in our different local congregations. But I’m glad you bring that up. Because that was one of our questions in the podcast, how crucial is it? To have friends in the Church while you’re in college? You know, because I think that’s one of the things that if you don’t have that if you don’t find that community in the Church with like-minded Christians, young Christian friends, you’re gonna go look, go look for it elsewhere. Lucky for you and me that we have that because we didn’t need the college experience to provide that sense of community for us.

Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. And I just want to point out there will never be a moment for anybody in this world who ends up going to college or university where you will be 100% prepared.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes. Absolutely. I mean, not directly related to college, but you know, your whole thing about looking for answers and being confused in life, whether it be in college or just life in general. You know, our very first episode of Knowing the True God with Ahmad and Naima was, I’m so glad we started the season with that episode because it was really profound, you’re really talking about seekers, right? People who are siblings who didn’t know the other one was seeking, right, but just… everyone is going through something and they think listening to this is definitely one of my favorite episodes, listening to these two siblings who absolutely adore each other, absolutely respect each other. And just that act of love right, that Ahmad shared with his sister that totally completely changed her life.

That was really profound to kind of sit back and listen to them, talk about it, and reflect and recount what that time of their life was like. And I think with this show, that we do a lot of reflecting. And a lot of reflecting on things that some people may not have actually spent time thinking about. You know, even the episode with Brother Donald Pinnock and his son, Brother Daniel, they’re at two opposite ends of the world. But when they were talking for the podcast, it’s like they were right there and just picking up from where they left off, because they’ve already had such a strong bond. But you know, it’s again, it’s those conversations that if people aren’t having them, we hope they do. We hope they have them. We hope they have that conversation with their dad or their mom because they listened to the sweet and honest and really loving conversation that Brother Donald and Brother Daniel had so there are so many. And then like with Ahmad and Naima hopefully someone actually messaged us and said, “Hey, because of that podcast, I reached out to my brother, who I haven’t talked to…”

Martin Zerrudo: No way.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes. “I reached out to my brother, who I haven’t talked to in a while.” So, wow, okay, I didn’t think that was going to be one of the impacts or the results of it, but praise God, right? That it was able to have that kind of impact on people.

Marin Zerrudo: So what do you have coming up for next season?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Well, we don’t have all the episodes lined up yet. But we are hoping to explore topics like conversations for women in the workforce. How do you assert yourself as a competent and confident woman but still, as a God-fearing servant of God? Like, how do you do that in the workplace? So we’re hoping to get a mentor and a mentee since this is really what the show is about. And also, we’re hoping to explore conversations and how people have dealt with racism in any, or any kind of prejudice that people may be experiencing, and still, be an honorable Christian through it all. And honestly, I don’t know how many seasons we’ll have with the show. But there are endless hard conversations that are waiting to be told and heard. And, God willing, it can help so many more people out there. So you know, that’s us for Making Changes. But you know, as we close out our season one, you’re starting your new season of Heart & Soul. And I know you have so many fans, Heart & Soul hardcore fans that are just waiting to hear what new conversations they’re going to be listening to. So what’s up for this new season of Heart & Soul?

Martin Zerrudo: Speaking of reflecting, the show has been around for over five years. And over five years now. And shout out to Lois Paula, who’s a co-host of mine, for the podcast. And you know, five years later, we’re still talking about love.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: That topic will never go out of style.

Martin Zerrudo: Never. Because somebody falls in love and gets their heart broken every single day. You know, and for members of the Church Of Christ, especially in 2021, speaking of love changing, oh man, talk about how much it’s changed. The method of communicating how we feel, communicating how we don’t feel, how that relates to romantic feelings to feelings between friends, between somebody who has a different belief or faith in you. And so in terms of our next season, some of the topics that we cover to Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife, was an amazing social media post that we put on our INC Media News Instagram account where we just asked, “Hey, leave a message to your future husband or future wife, you may, he may find someone they may be able to look back on this one day when you find that special person. And what I hear through the grapevine is that there were a couple of couples that were formed from that Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife post.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes, I did hear that as well.

Martin Zerrudo: So we turned an episode around or we created an episode around that conversation, of the kind of person you hope to find and the role your faith and trust in God plays in finding, the one who God intends for you to be with.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Do you think from the conversations that you’ve had all these seasons of Heart & Soul do you think that movies and media in general, do you think it’s really kind of tainted, the people’s view on the realities of love and relationships?

Martin Zerrudo: Yes, I think it’s a great question because when you look at RomComs, is it art imitating life? Or is it life imitating art? And that I guess, that permeates our relationships because should I act this way cause I saw it in this movie, so I guess I have to be that so that when you start seeing that in movies and TV shows, then, of course, members of the Church Of Christ watch that and say, “Hey, is that normal? Hey, is that okay?”

Aliw Garcia Pablo: But do you think that going back to that question of change, in just perspective in social media, I think more so now, it’s not even so much the influence of movies, but just social media in general, people’s friends. Do you find that those who are not in relationships and because of social media, they see their other friends who are in relationships or who are getting engaged, and they’re not, do you think that in itself actually has a stronger impact on people more than your usual Hollywood movies?

Martin Zerrudo: For sure. Because there’s this concept of FOMO (fear of missing out), right? You watch a movie once in a while, great, you might feel like “Man, I wish I was the leading person in that movie. I wish I was going through what they’re going through.” But then we’re now in 2021, you go through your phone, and it’s like, what, six hours a day where you’re seeing what everybody else is doing that you feel like either you should be doing or you’re missing out on fear of missing out. And a lot of that when we’re talking about relationships definitely falls under FOMO of wanting to be with someone as well, because all my other friends are with people.

And so one of our episodes, Is God Leading You Into a Relationship. And one of the topics or sorry, that topic really addresses the process in which you’re finding out with this person is whether or not you guys are a good fit. Are you forcing it? Or is God showing you red flags? Because it’s funny when we talk about the things that we pray for, and things kind of just falling into place. God didn’t force you into a good position or good part in your life, he didn’t force you into a great job, he didn’t force you into a good place in your life. So why would he force you into a relationship? And yet we see that happening all the time, where two people are like, “Oh, I don’t know if this is gonna work out but let’s just keep going. Let’s just figure it out as we go along.” But why force it when every other blessing in your life that came from God wasn’t forced?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: And I think that’s what I love about Heart & Soul is because there are questions that provoke thoughts that really make you go, “Hmmn.” That really makes you stop and think and reassess right? Reassess your actions, reassess your feelings. Reassess your relationship in a way that is still of Christian value and Christian in nature versus listening to what the world is telling you to do.

Martin Zerrudo: Definitely, definitely. And you know, these conversations, they happen already, in a bus stop, they happen in a coffee shop, maybe not so much right now during the pandemic, but they happen. And there’s so much insight that you can gain from that.

Now, imagine if you had that conversation and there was a minister there to provide biblical verses to contextualize God’s teachings and the things that you’re going through every single day. And, you know, five years and running, that’s what Heart & Soul has been able to do is really take those day-to-day conversations you’re already having, and add that spiritual guidance to steer us in the right direction. Because I’m never going to say even though I’m the host and the producer that I have answers. I’m never going to say that my advice, or that I’m ever going to give advice to our listeners, it’s really just a conversation. And the guidance at the end really is the star of the show is the words of God.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes. And I think that’s what’s so great about it is that at the end of every episode is that you do have that spiritual guidance, and it feels like the Minister is right there next to you, I mean, they’re in your ear. But yeah, it has, it’s such a, you know, you’ve provided such an intimate setting when it comes to the listeners and to where they really feel like they are the subject, that the advice being given on the show is specifically for them, into them. So, kudos to the Heart & Soul team.

Martin Zerrudo: And I just want to say thank you, thank you so much. But you know what, at the end of the day, kudos to the Church Administration, really, I mean, for all the different ways and platforms that this could have been addressed. They’ve allowed us to use podcasts, so that whoever may be listening to this episode right now, wherever you may be around the world, hopefully, in whatever stage you are in life, that this content is helpful to you, that’s inspiring to you.

And I just want to say whether it’s Heart & Soul or Making Changes, the intent of the content that we created in INC Media Services is the same and that our content is just a method of providing inspiration so that they can have a stronger and healthier relationship with God in His teachings. So whether it’s Heart & Soul, Making Changes, The Solution, I’m very thankful that it’s able to exist in the platform and in the world that is INC Media Services and CEBSI because that’s why we wake up in the morning and produce the content that we produce, is to be of service to people like, whoever may be listening.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: We are just, we are so, so blessed. And we are indebted really, you’re right. We’re so indebted to the Church Administration for allowing us to have all these shows and all these platforms, and to be able to reach out to brethren all around the world, in whatever stage they’re going through, whatever season they’re going through in life. Well, thank you so much, Martin Zerrudo for taking the time…

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: to have a heart and soul conversation with me because I feel like we just had one. No, but you know, you and I, we go way back, and you are a true friend. And we work together, day in and day out. And we really do wake up in the morning feeling so grateful that we get to create such life-changing content for people and be able to share it, right? There’s just nothing more fulfilling than that.

Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. I do have one last question.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Yes.

Martin Zerrudo: If I may?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Go for it.

Martin Zerrudo: If we were on a Making Changes episode right now, which we are I guess, and I’m younger, Aliw Pablo who used to work at that newsroom going through that footage with her hand manually, going through scripts manually, what would you say to her? What would you say has been the biggest change from that Aliw Pablo in that newsroom to the one recording a podcast right now at home?

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Wow. That is a good question because…You know, it’s funny because I went into TV news because I wanted to tell stories. Yes, I was this, really young, wide-eyed, and bushy-tailed 19-year-old working newsroom. And then I found out oh, my gosh, this is so… my stomach would turn you know, every time I go into the newsroom because it’s a really stressful place.

People aren’t very nice during live shows. But, there was one thing that someone told me back then when I was an intern, and I was bulking tapes, bulking tapes is where you’re just erasing tapes. That’s when they were using tapes for the photographers. And he said, “You know, if you want to make it in this business, don’t ever be afraid to ask questions, because someone will always be more willing to help someone who is going to ask a question versus someone who thinks they know everything.” And that piece of advice, to be honest with you, really carried me through working in TV news, working in the advertising world, before working for the Church full time. Because to this day, at age 40, I’m going to be 48 years old, right? I am constantly wanting to learn. I am constantly trying to learn new things. I mean, you know this, I’m constantly sending you stuff like “Hey, check this out. Listen to this podcast I heard, read this article I just read.”

But there’s something about just wanting to constantly learn and always be relevant and always be of service. And mind you that young girl in the TV newsroom, I didn’t know, I was going to end up working for INC Media Services. I didn’t know that that’s what God had planned for me. But I feel like that, you know God, allowing me to meet that person. And putting that piece of advice in my mind has carried me through all these decades of being, I consider myself a creative servant, and being able to really create content for the sake of serving and for the sake of helping others.

And so I would have never guessed in a million years that this is where I would be. But also I would have never guessed in a million years just how amazing God would be and he would answer all my prayers and make all my dreams come true. And my only prayer and my only dream at the time as a young person was to be able to tell stories. I first started working for the Church and I think I told you this, my only dream at the time was I want to be able to hopefully one day tell stories of people, of brethren all over the world. And who knew the internet was going to come around. And to this day, this year, this month is my 22nd year of working for the Church Of Christ full-time. And we’re still telling stories.

[Music starts]

Aliw Garcia Pablo: Thank you so much, Martin. You are truly a joy to work with and a friend I love to chat with. So thanks for making the time and good luck. Good luck with the new season of Heart & Soul. I will definitely be listening.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much.

Aliw Garcia Pablo: So everyone, be sure to tune in in the new season of Heart & Soul which you can listen to the INC Media app or Google or Apple podcasts and even though we are taking a break from the Making Changes podcast, be sure to follow us on our Instagram account, Making Changes podcast for updates on when season two will begin. See you next season and thanks for listening and may your change uplift you

[Music ends]

Trusting in God’s Timing

Life is a series of choices, and for some, God isn’t always their choice. Tawanda chose to make time for God not only for herself but for her son, as well.

Show/Hide Transcript

Trusting in God’s Timing

Tawanda Cochrane: I went to probably, like, four lessons and then I stopped. Sister Rose, she’s like, “Don’t let life get in your way. God gave you twenty-four hours in a day and you can give Him back at least an hour or two hours for Him, to serve Him.”

[Show open]

My name is Tawanda Cochrane. I was born and raised in Columbus, Georgia on February 27, 1979 at 3:22 p.m. My mom’s biggest blessing that day. I have one sister who is older than me, so it’s three girls. Growing up, most of my childhood as I got older, about ten or eleven my mom and dad separated due to some domestic violence issues.

“Standing Up For My Mom”

It was hard for me to live [with] the domestic violence. I felt deep down inside, I had to stand up for [my mom] because she wasn’t going to stand up for herself. All she wanted to do was to protect us. Us kids. After a while my dad got help and eventually came back until I [was] old enough to stand up to him. Like I told him, I was like, “I shouldn’t have to stand up to you like this, you should know better.”

“Honor The Father and Mother”

It was hard. But [my mom] always taught me one of God’s commandments: honor thy mother, honor thy father. And she was like, “Even though he’s doing this, you still need to honor him and respect him.” And that’s something she taught until the day she passed away. “You’re going to honor him.”

Now our relationship is way better. We talk, I want to say at least once a week.

“I Didn’t Blame God”

My mom always taught us the Ten Commandments and to make sure we knew [them]. She would get us dressed every Sunday, send us to church even though she didn’t go.

What I knew about God when I was a kid, [is] that you pray to Him. He’s the Almighty Father. Let Him know what’s bothering you. As a child, I didn’t blame God about what was going on at home, I had just—I found that the church [or chapel] was my safe place. There was something always going on at the church [or chapel].

“Standing On My Own Two Feet”

My senior year in high school, I had a lot of recruiters asking me, “Would you like to join the Army?” “Would you like to join the Navy?” I was like, “I know, I’m already eighteen, I can sign my own documents.” I was like, “Yeah, I’ll be ready Wednesday morning to go do my physical.”

When I joined the military, in boot camp they had church service [and[ I went every Sunday. That was in boot camp. But once I left boot camp, church kind of [fell] to the side.

“Bouncing From Church To Church”

But when I transferred from Norfolk, to Lemoore, California, out here, I would go to church every once in a while. I met my husband here on the base. He seemed very [religious] at the time. Then he got shipped out and something about that deployment was different, because when he came back he wasn’t the same person that left. It seemed like I was just being sadder and sadder and sadder instead of [being] happy.

And I just started bouncing from church to church to church to find—I guess, a family [feeling] that I fit in because my family was so far away. And I was living a reckless life, drinking and partying like it was the thing to do but deep down inside I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do.

“God Give 24 Hours In A Day”

God introduced Sister Sally into my life—I was working at the Fresno VA Hospital and I met her ] [there] and she seemed [like] such a nice lady. She’s like “Hi, I’m Rose.” And I’m like, “Hi, I’m Tawanda.” And she’s like, “Oh okay, yeah this and this…” And she was going so fast and I was like, “How do people understand what she’s saying?” And she’s like, “We’re having a Bible study tonight, would you like to come?” And I was like, “No, thank you but I’ll keep that thought in mind.” And I met her a couple more times [when I came] down and she’s like, “Hey, we’re having a Bible study tonight, would you like to come?” And I was like, “I have no babysitter.” And she’s like, “If you’re worried about a babysitter, don’t worry about that. There [are] a lot of mothers that are going to be at the Bible study where you can—they’ll take care of him.” And she’s like, “My two daughters are going to be there so you can have them watch your son.” And I was like, “Okay, I’ll come.” And I started going to the Bible studies. I went to probably—I signed up for Bible study to be a Bible student that night. I went to probably, like, four lessons and then I stopped. And [Sister Rose] was like, “Don’t let life get in your way. God gave you twenty-four hours in a day and you can give Him back at least an hour or two hours for Him, to serve Him.” And that kind of stuck with me.

“God’s Timing”

When I first met Sister Rose, my mom had passed away and I was still—I wanted that mother figure. I wanted a mother and my mom was gone and Sister Rose being that mother figure, she took care of everybody in the clinic. Then when I started going to the Church Of Christ and going to the Bible study and everybody’s like, “Hi Sally!” and I’m like looking at her, and she’s like, “Oh, that’s my name.” And I was like, “Oh…” So I’m thinking her name is Rose, but she’s like, “No, they [called] me Sally [ever] since I was little.” I was like, “Oh okay.” Her name at work is Rose, Rosalina. But everybody that knows her in the Church Of Christ calls her Ka Sally and she made me feel comfortable. I talk to her about anything and everything like I would with my mom. And with the life battles that I was having [and] not understanding why my son’s father didn’t want to be a part of his life. And Sister Rose told me, she’s like, “He got a way better father—the Almighty Father. God, God is going to be his Father. He’s going to provide everything that little mad needs.” She said, “You just got to have faith.” And that’s what really got me going to every Bible study, every evangelical mission.

Interviewer: What can you say about the timing, God’s timing of putting Sister Rose in your life at a time when you had just lost your mom?

Tawanda: I needed Him to answer me with that because He knew how close me and mom [were] and because after she passed, I was back on that downward spiral. And I knew if I’m—and I just kept praying, “God help me, help me.”

That’s my answer to my prayer, that I get to have a second chance with another mother. From every Bible study, I felt like in the Church Of Christ, I’m always with family and [there was] always a hug waiting for you, you know? And I was like, “I need to be part of the true Church, not just any church but the true Church. And in the Church Of Christ, I’m there. I’m happy to be here.

From that Bible lesson, it says it right there in the Bible. The Church Of Christ, the one true Church.

“The Difference”

And that’s what I’ll always believe. What was said in the Bible is what’s true. This is God’s Holy Scripture. And that’s—I always will believe that.

The difference between the Baptist [church] and the Church Of Christ: In the Baptist worship service, there’s a lot of loud singing and a lot of jumping around, screaming—the minister would put the Bible verse in their [own] version. How—their interpretation. But in the Church Of Christ, from the time I walked in the door, I felt the calmness, the peace and the serenity of the chapel.

“My Biggest Fear”

I’m so amazed by it, you know. I’m a part of this, I’m a part of the Church Of Christ. I’ll be telling my friend, “Hey, let’s—come join us [in] Bible study.” And they’ll be like, “No, not tonight.” And I was like, “Oh, okay.” Now I know how Sister Rose felt about inviting people. But I still go, “Hey, okay!” And then I wait a week and go like, “Hey! We’re having Bible study again.”

Interviewer: So are you Sister Rose now?

Tawanda: Yes, I’m Sister Rose now and I keep going and right now my best friend, she’s like, “You weren’t going to give up until I went to Bible study.” And I was like, “No, I wasn’t.” I said, “I’m going to keep going until I can get your older kids in to coming to Bible study with you, you know?”

Interviewer: Why do you not give up even though people have said “No” to you?

Tawanda: [Because] it’s one of God’s commandments. I don’t want anyone to have that second death in the lake of fire. My biggest fear is that I won’t save enough souls, I won’t get enough people to hear God’s message, you know? Because I feel every soul should be saved but they need to hear the message to be saved.

“My Favorite Answered Prayer”

I feel [that] having the Church, the Church Of Christ, helped [in] raising my son. I know he’s on a good path for his salvation and with all the brothers in the Church I know he won’t lack any male leadership roles that he might need. With this pandemic, it’s hard for him to understand why we’re not at the chapel and why we’re not—

[On-screen text graphics]

Tawanda Cochrane

Joined the Church Of Christ in 2018

—why he can’t see Brother Isaiah, or Brother Ron or Brother Ray or Brother Rolly as often as he used to. Coming out of his shell more than he used to. Because when he first—when we first started he wouldn’t talk. Now once he sees them he’s—”Bye Mom! Going with Brother such and such!” “Okay! See you in a little bit.”

“He’s Driving My Life”

My story of faith is encouraging. No matter how hard life is, God is going to be there to get you through. And I want my story of faith to encourage someone else and believe God will take them through whatever they’re going through. No matter how bad the world is getting, I see my future is a bright one because I’m not going to let go of my membership in the Church Of Christ and keep God first and my Lord Jesus Christ in the driver’s seat. And as long as He’s driving my life, it’s going to be a really bright future.

[Show close]

Stories of Faith

INC MEDIA SERVICES

What Really Matters

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Life is hard. And a hard life made Isaiah long for a successful future. He wanted more, materially. A chance encounter leads to chasing what really matters.

Watch more Stories of Faith

Getting Your Family To Accept Your Career

Dealing with parental disappointment because of your career is a struggle for many. A young creative asks what to do when parents don’t approve of your career.

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Getting Your Family To Accept Your Career

[Show open]

Brother Donald Pinnock: Hello, everyone, and thank you so very, very much for joining us on this episode of The Solution. I am brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. You know, we have a very unique episode for you today.

We’re going to hear from someone who wishes to stay anonymous. And in fact, he has asked us to call him, Matt. Matt sent us a message asking for advice on what to do when parents don’t approve of your career path. Let’s take a look.

Matt: I’ve always had a great relationship with my parents since I was young. I’ve always been able to communicate with them. But right now, that’s not the case. Growing up, the only thing my parents really wanted for me was to finish school and find a suitable job, a career that would support me in becoming an independent adult. I wasn’t the best in math or science growing up. And as much as I tried to pursue the option of having a career in the medical field, I could never wrap my head around these complicated math and science questions we had to solve every week in high school. But when I was given my DSLR, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in the arts. So that’s what I did. Right now, I do freelance media work focusing on videography, editing and event photography. What I love most about it is being able to tell and create stories in a creative and unique way.

There are so many stories and faces that you can capture. And I’m grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of it. My parents don’t agree with my career path. They’re worried that I won’t be able to make enough to support myself or my future family.

How can I manage when I have children? Where would my benefits come from and how would I be able to save up for my future or my retirement? I don’t think they fully understand that there’s actually a need in this field of work, and that you can actually find success in this line of work.

This lack of understanding has put a strain on a relationship. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when all they want to do is attach an amount of money to my success. If I’m not earning X amount, then I’m not successful.

I even feel like I can’t tell them how work is going, or when I have exciting news that I want to share with them about my job. I’m afraid they wouldn’t be as excited as I am. And because of that, a part of me feels like I shouldn’t update them with how things are going.

I know I shouldn’t be afraid of letting them know. But there’s also a part of me that’s afraid of continuously getting shut down. I hope that one day my parents understand that this field is where I excel, and that I can also have success and growth in the arts. That success is more than a paycheck.

Brother Donald, I want to be able to have better communication with my parents. Is there something that I can do to help my parents understand my job? How can I get my parents to understand that there’s more to finding a career than just the paycheck? How do I express to them that this is where I find absolute joy in my life?

Brother Donald: You know, Matt, how children approach their parents is critical in their effort to express what’s on their mind and also what’s in their heart.

So we have to make sure that we adhere to the following Bible teaching written in Ephesians, the chapter is six, and the verses are two to three:

“Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.”

[Ephesians 6:2-3, Good News Translation]

Brother Donald: So we should see, dear viewers, and of course, Matt, that we should be very, very respectful when we have a discussion with our parents and even when we are responding to their questioning and their giving of admonitions.

A son or daughter should refrain from raising their voice or shouting or answering their parents rudely, because, of course, this will never help in solving issues, but rather just compound them. We should also understand that our parents may be anxious about what the future holds for us if we are going to take that career path.

They may worry, for example, about our well-being. Will we be able to support ourselves? Will we be able to, for example, look after a family? But their worries and fears may sound hostile when our conversations become overheated.

Their opposition to our career choices can feel less hostile, Matt, when we understand that what they are concerned about is our future, and out of their endearing love for us, their children. So we should hear our parents out.

We should do our very best to understand where our parents are coming from when it comes to their advice and even when it comes to their hesitations concerning our career choice. Only then can we respond to them in a manner that would prevent the discussion escalating into an argument.

So how can we accomplish such a goal? Let’s find out by reading here in Ephesians, the chapter is four and the verse is 29. And this is written:

“Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.”

[Ephesians 4:29, Good News Translation]

Brother Donald: According to the Holy Bible then, we should be very careful when it comes to even our choice of words, especially when we are speaking to our mother and/or father. When we are talking about, for example, our career choice with our parents, we should strive to express our feelings in a manner that will not cause the conversation to escalate into a shouting match. So this is the reason why it would be best to conduct what is called a devotional prayer and ask for the guidance of the Almighty God before we approach our parents to discuss such matters.

For us, members of the Church Of Christ, according to the Bible, we are recognized as God’s people. And because of this, we can be confident that when we put our wholehearted hope and trust in God, and seek His will and guidance in everything that we do, including our career choices, that our Father in heaven will not disappoint us. We can expect that God will guide us to have a career that, first and foremost, is in accordance with His holy will, and also is beneficial for us and our future.

In fact, the Holy Scriptures gives us this assurance here in Proverbs, the chapter is 3, and the verses are 5 to 6:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.'”

[Proverbs 3: 5-6, New Living Translation]

So, dear viewers, Matt, if you or any others watching this episode are not yet members of the Church Of Christ, we also earnestly pray that eventually you can take part in God’s plans and promises. This is the very reason why we invite you to learn more about the Church Of Christ and find out how God can bless your future with success and the peace that you are seeking, inner peace as well as peace when it comes to those around us.

Thank you for joining us in our episode today. And as always, we continue to invite all of you–contact us with your queries, your problems, your challenges, your issues, and through God’s teachings written in the Holy Bible, let us come to the Solution together. Dear friends, stay safe. Stay positive. Stay prayerful.

How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage

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Learn what you should know before popping the big question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage.

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How To Prepare For

A Successful Marriage

[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: Is the next step for you and your significant other marriage? Is it something you’ve already talked about planning for? Is that a topic you’re currently avoiding? What should you know before popping the question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage?

Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope you’re doing well and are safe at home. Today, our topic is focused on helping our listeners gain a better understanding on what to expect when getting married and what to do to make sure their marriage can be happy and successful. At the end of the day, we want to give you as much information and guidance before you commit to one of the most important decisions of your lives. And joining me today to help us with that is Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Brother Felmar is a husband and father of two and is also the minister on the brand new Happy Life podcast, a podcast where newlyweds can get some tips on having a successful marriage. Hi, Brother Felmar, how are you today?

Brother Felmar: Hello, Martin, and to the Heart & Soul team and to everyone who’s tuning in. I’m doing well, Martin, thank you for asking. And I just like to say it’s a great pleasure for me to be here on Heart & Soul.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Felmar. And thank you for taking the time to help us with such an important topic that is pivotal and is an important topic for many of our young adult listeners. So, when it comes to deciding when a couple in the Church Of Christ should marry, what are some of the questions that they should be asking themselves?

Brother Felmar: To answer that, let’s first be reminded that a true spouse is from God. This is proven to us by the Bible in Proverbs 19: 14 we’ll quote from the New Revised Standard Version:

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

[Proverbs 19:14 New Revised Standard Version]

So based on this, one of the very important questions to ask oneself prior to getting married is, is this person that I am courting, or is courting me the answer to my prayers? Is this person the blessing to me from God?

Another important question to ask oneself prior to getting married is, am I ready for the blessing like what we heard from the Holy Scriptures, house and wealth are inherited from parents, but house and wealth or other possessions are not just things you just receive? Right? You need to take care of them. There are responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. So, so much more when it comes to marriage.

According to the Bible, in God’s design of marriage, which is the true and right design, there are responsibilities for the husband, and there are responsibilities for the wife, and there are also shared responsibilities. That’s why on the Happy Life podcast, we discuss things like making adjustments, expectations, communication as a married couple for members in the Church Of Christ who are at the courtship stage. Be sure to ask yourselves even before getting engaged. Are you ready for the blessing and the responsibilities that come with marriage? It’s important to consider that you have feelings for each other. But it’s also important to consider how compatible you are with one another, especially when it comes to working together and shouldering and fulfilling the responsibilities that come with marriage.

It’s important to ask too, if you are ready, financially, mentally and above all, are you ready spiritually? So I hope, Martin, that answers your question regarding some of the things that others ought to be asking themselves before getting married.

Martin Zerrudo: Of course, we want to be able to ask those questions so that it helps us prepare, like you mentioned financially, mentally, and above all spiritually. But some might say, Well, I know some successful couples who weren’t 100% ready financially, and they worked out. Maybe they rushed into it too quickly, but it worked out. What would be our answer to those kinds of scenarios?

Brother Felmar: Well, going back to the Holy Scriptures, to the verse that we just read in Proverbs 19:14, the truth is clear. A prudent wife is from the Lord. So a true spouse will come from the Lord God. So if it is the will of God that He will grant to an individual the true spouse, the answer to that individual’s prayer, and maybe it would not necessarily fit the timeline, so to say, when it comes to the norm, right, on how others have gotten married, but that is the will of God for that particular couple. So by God’s grace and mercy, things will fall into place.

However, that doesn’t mean that we should rush into marriage. Based on the Holy Scriptures, marriage is sacred, so we ought to be careful, and we ought to make the necessary preparations so that we will be able not only to receive the blessing, but to continue to take care of the blessing of marriage that comes from the Lord God,

Martin Zerrudo: Very true, Brother Felmar, and I guess it just all the more indicates why the decision to get married in the INC is not one we take lightly. So how does one know when they’re ready to make an important decision? What if they feel like okay I may have all my ducks in a row, financially ready, I think God is answering my prayer. How do they know it’s time to make that important decision?

Brother Felmar: Well, I think if those who are currently in courtship can say, “Yes, we care for each other.” So those feelings are there. But they can also say “Yes, we have proven ourselves to be compatible with one another.” Because even though emotionally, you know, they care for each other, they feel deeply about each other. But there are moments that arise where the compatibility is in question, a lot of times they’re fighting. Well, that can’t be a good sign. So that’s something that should be considered. What else? Again, we should also be able to say, “Yes, we are ready financially.” That is something that is important, because according to the Holy Scriptures, we ought to be able to provide for our household. What else should be considered? That we can say “Yes, we are also mentally ready. We are capable of making mature and responsible decisions. But above all, we are ready spiritually.” A man and woman who are about to make that decision to go into marriage must make sure that they are ready spiritually, both are spiritually mature.

So if we can say yes to all of these questions, then I’d say you’re pretty ready. I’d say, What are you waiting for? Assuming of course, you’re both of legal age. In addition to that, Martin, here’s a Bible verse, a teaching from the Holy Scriptures, that should also be considered here in the book of Proverbs 3:5-6 in the New King James Version:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

[Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version]

If you trust in the Lord with all your heart, if you acknowledge God, if you pray to Him regularly, the Bible says, “He shall direct your paths.” And that has been the experience of many members in the Church Of Christ, when we were not yet ready for marriage, although maybe we wanted to get married, but God, who knows us better than we know ourselves, He knew that we were not yet ready. God directed us. And when the time was right, God directed us again. But to avail of this wonderful and precise direction from God, it is crucial that we do trust in God with all of our heart, and that we are prayerful.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. As someone who has been married for a couple of years now, can you describe to our listeners, maybe for those who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ, the beauty and the splendor that is a blessed marriage within the Church Of Christ. Can you describe to our audience what that is like?

Brother Felmar: You know, it’s very hard to put into words. It’s very hard to put into words. The Bible teaches us that when we put God first, when we make God our happiness, He will give us our heart’s desire. And that’s why I mentioned earlier, how wonderful it is to have that direction, that precise direction from God, because only the Almighty God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows exactly who the right match will be for us. There are many things we cannot foresee going into marriage. Although you know, with what we can see things may look like they align. But there are also things we cannot see, because we are human beings, we are limited with what we know and what we can foresee. We don’t know what will happen five years from now, 10 years from now. Maybe in courtship, the chemistry is there. But will the chemistry still be there when challenges come, when you may lose your livelihood, or when your spouse is ill? But God knows those things. So again, only the Almighty God knows who the exact match will be for us, who will be our true partner in life and will compliment us on all levels, and above all, will be with us in our services to God. In worshipping Him and putting our faith in Him and in praying to Him, you know, until we make it to our salvation.

So having said that, to all of our listeners and, and to our friends who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ, the priority would be God. Know God first, make the Almighty God our happiness, understand His teachings and all of his commandments that we must fulfill so that we prove to God He is our happiness. And that’s why we always invite our friends and loved ones to know more about the Church Of Christ. Of course, we’re so happy when we have our friends and loved ones who are with us in the Church Of Christ, but really that invitation is for you. It’s for our friends, so that they will be able to experience how wonderful it is to have the true God and to receive His blessings. And a very important and crucial blessing in life is true marriage that comes from God.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. And as you as a husband, how does that make you feel that that’s a blessing that you’ve been given in life?

Brother Felmar: It’s humbling that you know, like, the Bible says, when God is your happiness, He will give you your heart’s desire. So those qualities that I hoped for and prayed for, you know, when I was still single and praying for a spouse who not only would be my partner in life, but my partner in the holy ministry, so it is humbling that God, you know, He gave me really like what the Bible says, one’s heart’s desire. I don’t want it to seem like you know, I’m making my wife sound like she’s, you know, this perfect woman. There’s no such thing as a perfect man or woman, right? So, but really, you know, there’s the perfect one for you.

Martin Zerrudo: So thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for those wonderful verses and the spiritual advice. For our listeners who are considering getting married, and especially for our listeners who are newlyweds, we have a brand new podcast we recently launched and I’d love to share it with you. It’s called Happy Life, where you’ll have none other than Brother Felmar and Host Sister Myrtle Alegado to help provide Bible-based advice and guidance to newlyweds in the INC as they begin their new journey together. Brother Felmar, what can listeners look forward to when they tune in to Happy Life?

Brother Felmar: So you have to listen to each episode from start to finish, so that you can come away with the complete package that each episode brings, which includes reliable and relevant marriage tips from real life experiences of newlyweds who guest on the show. More importantly, Bible-based teachings, which are the foundation for a happy and enduring marriage. These teachings can be applied to resolving conflicts that may arise in marriage, as well as preventing future conflicts, especially serious ones that could severely harm a marriage. Our warmhearted and spirited host, Myrtle Alegado, does a wonderful job of keeping the discussion meaningful, focused on the topic at hand, and we have fun too. So lots to look forward to on Happy Life.

Martin Zerrudo: I believe you also have an Instagram account.

Brother Felmar: We do. Yes. Thank you for mentioning that, Martin. So yes, please, if everyone tuning in could follow us on Instagram, subscribe on Apple podcast, Google podcast. And of course you can find us as well on our website incmedia.org.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar, thank you so much for joining us for providing that wonderful insight. Please, for all of our listeners continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart & Soul. Thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for joining us. We really appreciate it.

Brother Felmar: All praises be to God and thank you as well, Martin, and to the Heart & Soul team.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, this your first time hopefully not the last. We look forward to it in the future. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care.

What Does Self-Reflection Mean?

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Reflecting on life can be effective in providing insight and perspective. But sometimes it’s not always no clear. So, what does self-reflection mean?

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What Does Self-Reflection Mean?

[Lead In]

Martin Zerrudo: When you reflect on the meaning of your own life, the struggles you’ve gone through, how does it make you feel? Strong for having gone through it? Sad for having to still deal with it? What does self-reflection really mean in the grand scheme of things? And more importantly, what do you think God is trying to tell you? Let’s have a Heart & Soul conversation.

[Show open]

Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. When talking about the importance of self-reflection. It’s an area that a lot of people can use some help with. According to some studies, the self help industry will be worth over $13 billion in 2022. This translates to millions of different methods out there meant to help us with how to reflect or how to get through the hardest times in our life. We recently asked on our Instagram @incmedianews using #heartandsoulconversations, what kind of struggles in life have you gone through, and here’s what you had to say.

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

Crippling levels of undiagnosed clinical depression, anxiety and migraines. I thought that was simply how people lived, and assumed that it was normal. I wasn’t happy most of the time, all the way up through high school.

Being in a family that moves from one place to another, we’re trained that our lives change every two years. And so we must learn to adapt. As the new kid in town all the time I had to adjust. I did my best to excel my classes that I got bullied for being included in the honor roll. Even teachers and faculty staff bullied me, even parents who lived near us spread rumors about me. Growing up being the unreasonably disliked kid was tough.

I would say loneliness, though there are those times when I felt the heaviness of being lonely, or feeling like I don’t have anybody there for me when I’m going through a hard time. And just feeling like I don’t have any friends.

Martin Zerrudo: According to betterhelp.com three of the most common reasons why people give up on life are mental health issues, the feeling of not fitting in, and loneliness. And if you listen back to those clips that we just played, those listeners were going through exactly those things. So why didn’t they give up? Well, we asked them, Why didn’t those struggles break your will?

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

What kept me going through day to day and dark nights were singing hymns and praying to God.

It was traumatic. But it was also the time that I learned how faith works.

When I feel like I’m on the brink of giving up, God provides a light of hope. And to know good things and good people are out there. I just have to keep praying and always have that sense of hope.

Martin Zerrudo: For some of our listeners, when it came to struggles, it surprised them how hard it would hurt, especially when it came from a place that they least expected.

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

Being hit hard with my anxiety due to finding out the people I thought were my friends weren’t really treating me as one behind my back. I didn’t expect it to affect me to that extent. But it really shook my mental state at that time. I felt alone and my anxiety made me feel like I had no one to trust anymore. Because despite having the purest of intentions, people will still find something to pick on about you.

Martin Zerrudo: Thankfully, as members of the Church Of Christ, when we take the time to reflect we have the ability to combine our self-reflection and introspection with our faith.

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

But I am so glad I got through that. Crying out everything to Him during my nightly devotional prayers really helped me get through that tough part. And I can honestly say that, despite it being a painful experience, it woke me up to the realities of life. And I learned so much from it. I just always keep in mind that our Lord God won’t ever leave our sides when things get hard.

Martin Zerrudo: And even though it’s not always clear what God is trying to tell us at any given moment, our trust in Him remains unwavering, no matter what.

[Heart & Soul Listeners]

I always exhaust and pressure myself to do things beyond my limits, which sometimes leads me to anxiety. In fact, I did wish that God would just write His will on the wall, or speak to me with an audible voice for me to know which path to take to avoid failures. But I know God rarely chooses to make His will for my life that obvious. He wants us to be persistent in seeking His guidance, and to always trust in the promise He bestowed. I’m truly thankful that He helped me to always understand His will and obey with all my heart. Now, I overcome the fear of taking risks and the fear of failing because I know God loves me. And His love won’t lead me astray.

Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is a show favorite of ours, minister of the gospel, Brother Donald Pinnock. Brother Donald, how are you today?

Bro. Donald: I’m not too bad, Brother Martin, it’s good to hear from you.

Martin Zerrudo: Happy to have you on today. Brother Donald, you know, as we talk about self-reflection and the struggles that people go through, what struggles in life have you gone through? And why didn’t those struggles break you?

Bro. Donald: Well, what immediately comes to mind, Brother Martin, is when I left Canada to pursue my studies in the ministry there in the Philippines in 1992. Of course, it was very, very difficult to leave behind my parents who, of course, were getting on in age, when it comes to my siblings, and also my close friends. Even when it comes to my place of employment. And not only that, having to adjust to a culture that was very foreign to me, other people there, this just made the situation extremely hard.

Of course, before I left, I tried to prepare myself as best as I could. But when you’re actually there, and feeling like a total stranger and alien to everyone and everything, emotionally, it was very, very taxing. But I truly believe that God wanted me to be there. And that belief acted as a catalyst for me, in order for me to immerse myself in the culture. And also when it came to my studies.

Martin Zerrudo: Now, looking back on it many years removed from that situation, do you feel like maybe your apprehension was … was it an overreaction, an underreaction, or was what you expected exactly what ended up happening?

Bro. Donald: Well, fortunately, before I began my studies in 1992, I did visit the Philippines in 1990. It was just for a few weeks and I was able to visit my wife’s family there. And again, that was my first trip to the Philippines. And there, we can say there was a bit of a culture shock when it comes to the stark reality of how many people were really struggling there, when it came to the economy and when it comes to other living conditions for so many. So in truth, that initial visit there to the Philippines, it kind of helped, kind of helped. But when it came to going there in 1992, and to be there for the next five years, well, that’s all the more that, you know, reality hit me. So my apprehension, I believe, was in a way, an attempt to brace myself. But when I was actually there, knowing that I had left my family and my friends and everything else there in North America to pursue my studies, you know, being human, of course, it was very difficult, extremely difficult.

Martin Zerrudo: Right. And you know, that difficulty, perhaps they didn’t go into ministry but when you know, after hearing those clips, it shows that members of the Church Of Christ are not immune to the struggles in life. Even when they pursue their dreams, they’re not immune to those challenges. So what makes us all the more resilient to those struggles?

Bro. Donald: Well, the same reason why I was able to overcome my personal struggles then when I was beginning my studies and until now, when different kinds of challenges come in different forms. Being members of the Church Of Christ, we are resilient, not because of our own ability, but rather because we place our hope and trust in God. We trust that He will give us the strength, the courage, the guidance, in order for us to overcome whatever we may encounter in life.

In fact, it’s no surprise because God has made and fulfilled such promises to His people in the past, as we can read here in Isaiah 40:28-31:

Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; he created all the world. He never grows tired or weary. No one understands his thoughts. He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.

[Isaiah 40:28-31 Today’s English Version]

As this Bible citation reminds us, it’s not just the old but even the young who can grow weak and feel exhausted, especially considering the current time that we are living in. But God has promised to strengthen His people who place their hope and their trust in Him. In fact, God further encourages us with a following declaration written in Isaiah 41:10:

Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.

[Isaiah 41:10 Amplified Bible]

That is why even though we encounter virtually the same struggles, the same pains, the same hardships as other people, Church Of Christ members rely, depend, and in fact, we can say lean on and fully believe in God’s promises to us, His people. This is what makes us so resilient, so that even if we may feel down in the dumps, when a serious problem comes upon us, we’re able to get back up on our feet.

And no surprise because this was also what befell the apostles in their time. As we can read in II Corinthians 4:8-9:

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.

[II Corinthians 4:8-9 Living Bible]

The apostles were not spared from experiencing severe troubles in life as we can glean from this citation. But again, because they placed their hope and their trust in God, every time they were knocked down, they were able to get up again. Because God will never abandon His loyal and faithful servants. Because of this, God’s many acts of kindness, they should be reflected upon from time to time by His people.

Martin Zerrudo: That’s amazing that there are so many verses that point to that process of reflection and introspection and how that all weaves into our faith. What would you say, Brother Donald, is the purpose for self-reflection? And what does it ultimately mean for members of the Church Of Christ?

Bro. Donald: You know, Brother Martin, self-reflection gives us the precious opportunity to consider the condition of our life. To meditate on perhaps the mistakes that we have made when it comes to our judgment calls, and how we can improve for the future. And being members of the Church, there’s an added layer of contemplation, and that is to consider the condition of our relationship with God, and how we have reacted when immense problems have risen up in our life. That is why the Bible recommends the following:

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: … GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD.

[Lamentations 3:28-33, 25-26 The Message]

We know that all people are bound to experience troubles in life. In fact, we can read that in Job 5:7. Those whom God recognizes however as His people, they have a distinct advantage when it comes to overcoming the troubles and tribulations of life. And even though sometimes we may feel that life is indeed heavy and hard to take, we should never be discouraged nor lose hope. What we should do is, as the Bible teaches, bow in prayer, and wait for hope to appear. The Bible assures us that it’s a good thing to hope for help from God, and that we’ll not be disappointed because God proves to be good to His people who wait patiently for Him. Especially at these times, Brother Martin, as you know, where because of this pandemic, the life of virtually all people around the world has been affected adversely. And there is indeed an increase of worry, anxiety and other mental problems.

However, when it comes to again, those whom the Lord our God recognizes as His people, He has promised to help them. So it is incumbent upon the people of God to place their hope and trust in Him. And one way we can do this is to believe in the power of prayer, communicating with our Father in heaven, meditating upon our life and our situation, taking those periods of self-reflection, in order for us to avail of God’s promises for us to continue to live a safe and productive life and most especially when it comes to remaining in close relationship with our Almighty God.

Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Donald, those verses were so very inspirational and the way that you were able to weave them into not only past struggles that maybe some of us have gone through, but the current struggles that are happening right now. We want to thank you so much, Brother Donald, for being on our show again today.

Bro. Donald: Oh, thank you so much for having me, Brother Martin.

Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. We always look forward to having you on the show. And for our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart & Soul. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope you were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take a few moments to reflect and be thankful because you’re not in this alone. Take care.

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