How To Overcome the Impact of Lockdown

Learn how to overcome cabin fever and anxiety while in lockdown, shelter in place, or quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic.

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How to Overcome the Impact of Lockdown

3:00 What is “cabin fever” or “going stir crazy”?

6:05 The loss of comfort and control in our lives

11:54 Why people panic bought toilet paper and hand sanitizer

16:21 What is “cabin fever” or “going stir crazy”

19:10 Tips on dealing with isolation, lockdown, or shelter in place

22:18 Why members of the Church Of Christ are more mentally prepared

28:40 Spiritual guidance

[Lead In]

Martin: The entire world has been in some form of lockdown or social isolation for the past 7-8 months. What started as a couple of weeks at home has now become a challenging mental adjustment to a seemingly unending life under quarantine and social distancing. This is our new normal. And despite some parts of the world starting to open up, the fear, anxiety, and worry of COVID-19, along with the mental impact of staying at home, linger. So how do we get through it?

Let’s have a Heart And Soul conversation.

[Show open]

Martin: Hello everyone, hope you’re all doing ok and are safe at home. Today, I’d like to discuss the impact living in lockdown has had on our mental health. For this, I was able to interview Dr. Darwin Buyson. Dr. Buyson is a clinical psychologist, and we had him last year on a panel discussion about Body Image. For this topic, we discussed the reasons why people struggle with staying at home, what cabin fever is, and what we can do to help ourselves navigate the uncertainty of living in quarantine during a pandemic. Afterwards minister of the gospel, Bro. Donald Pinnock, will join us to expand on what Dr. Darwin and I discussed.

[Music Transition]

Darwin: Hi, my name is Dr. Darwin Buyson and I’m calling in from Notting Hill London.

Martin: Hi, Dr. Darwin. Real quick can you just tell us in what field of medicine did you study and are practicing in currently?

Darwin: So I am a qualified clinical psychologist and I work in the field of psychosis. So I work with people who are having a first episode of psychosis.

Martin: Right. And can you tell us a little bit more about, in layman’s terms, what is psychosis? And how does that relate to the everyday life of people?

Darwin: So the main features of psychosis, which is a very serious mental health problem, is people who suffer from what we call delusional beliefs or believing things that aren’t necessarily true, driven by fear. Which is actually quite relevant today.

Martin: Right. Unfortunately, the fear of what’s happening right now and kind of making people question what’s happening around them, affecting them mentally, it’s affecting not just those who have psychosis but the whole world. Can you talk about just the general mental effects of being isolated at home can have on somebody? Are you seeing anything there in the UK where they’re growing concerns that the longer we’re in isolation, the more people are going to get this “ cabin fever”? Start getting a little stir crazy?

Darwin: Oh, yes yes. I think for the first couple of weeks people were, they were taking in their stride. It was all quite new. And people just got on with things and tried to do their best to adapt to this change. It’s that kind of emergency change, we can deal with this. But the longer it goes on, the more realization people have that this is not something that’s just going to end soon. We don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s a lot of uncertainty around.

Martin: Right.

Darwin: And human beings just don’t cope well with uncertainty. Our whole lives are designed to reduce uncertainty. Our nine to five working schedules, our shifts, our eating at particular times, going to bed at particular times. We like predictability. Now we’re in a situation where there is no predictability or there’s very little predictability. And all the frameworks that were there to provide some predictability are now gone. So people are not working or working from home. So that’s a huge struggle for people to implement their own kind of schedules or timetables.

Martin: Right, right. Because they’re not used to living life that way.

Darwin: No, it’s usually done for us.

Martin: Right, right. Can you speak a little bit about that? I’ve been reading articles and someone just talked about how we’ve just been so comfortable. But because we’ve become such creatures of comfort, where nothing really would prevent us from doing whatever we want. To now not being able to do anything really, outside of just getting essential goods. Can you talk a little bit about that? How maybe— is there some truth to that, that we were a little bit too comfortable? That because everything was done for us, not only our schedule, but just anything that we need—the convenience of anything and everything was out there and now most of that is gone.

Darwin: Yes, absolutely. I think that, to varying degrees, this kind of comfort gave us a sense of control.

Martin: Right.

Darwin: And again, it’s on the same lines as predictability. The feeling of being in control is quite reassuring. We were comfortable with knowing that we can do what we want when we want. But now this uncertainty has kind of thrown that idea of being in control out the window. And that’s causing a lot of fear, a lot of anxiety in people. And when we don’t know or when we’re not in control the usual first, first thing is we need to know. We need to find out what’s going on here.

Martin: Right.

Darwin: We need to get some feeling of certainty back. You see that in the behavior of people that you know, they’re constantly checking the news, they’re constantly checking social media, they need to know. Trying to grasp something that they can hold on to. But the reality is, no one really knows.

Martin: Right. I actually spoke to another doctor in California. He’s a GP (General Practitioner) and I asked him well, we don’t know when this is going to end. We don’t know how soon it’s going to get better, if it’s going to get better anytime soon. What have you been saying to your patients and he said, he tried to be honest with them. That the sooner we accept that we’re in a bad situation, the more we can move forward with that understanding that we can’t control that we’re in a bad situation. We just have to accept that it’s a bad situation and try and move forward.

Darwin: Absolutely. I couldn’t agree more with that. And that’s something, that concept of acceptance is very difficult. Because usually we’re now conditioned that if we don’t like something, we just do something about it. We change it. We don’t like being uncertain we’ll change. We don’t like the job that we’re in, we’ll find a new one. We don’t have (many choices) now.

Martin: Right. It’s like you don’t want to stay at home, I’ll just go out. Oh, you don’t like where you went there, I’ll go somewhere else next time. And now you don’t have (many) of those options.

Darwin: You don’t have (many) those options. So, it highlights or emphasizes what was probably already true is that we have very little control over our day to day life and how fragile our control is.

Martin: Right, right.

Darwin: But we’re so not used to accepting that.

Martin: Why do you think that is? Now that we’re all—we don’t have a choice, we have to accept that we have to be on lock down, what is that mental barrier? That is the kind of—I’m sure it’s different for everybody, but in general terms. Why is it hard for us to accept that right now is not a good situation, and that we don’t know when it’s going to get better.

Darwin: I think from a psychological perspective, I think what drives people to find it difficult to accept is because it’s easier to give yourself the idea that you can do something about it. And I’ll elaborate on that. For example, if we’re scared, we tend to worry. Yeah, worry, in that sense is a behavior. We’re scared, we worry. And we think when we ask people, why do they worry? A lot of them answer well, because I want to be prepared.

Martin: Right.

Darwin: I want to know what I might need to do if what I’m worrying about happens, if the worst case scenario happens. That’s reasonable, but the unintended consequences by worrying about the worst case scenario, you make yourself feel anxious.

Martin: Right

Darwin: The more anxious you become, the more you feel you need to worry. And you end up worrying, thinking, checking, reassuring yourself that everything will be okay. When actually, it’s not okay. The situation is unpredictable, but we keep doing things to escalate our anxiety. And anxiety is the driver of irrational behavior. I’m sure most of us can relate to the scary movie example. After having watched a scary movie, we feel scared, we feel anxious for a short time afterwards.

Martin: Yeah.

Darwin: What do we do, when we go into the bathroom after having watched a scary movie?

Martin: Run in and run out as fast as you can.

Darwin: Exactly. We don’t look into the mirror, we turn the lights on, we maybe asked someone to come with us.

Martin: Yeah.

Darwin: But we know, if you ask them, if you ask anybody, they don’t believe that something bad is going to happen. But what’s driving that behavior? It’s fear. Fear makes us irrational. As soon as we realize that it’s fear that’s driving our behavior and then stop that fear driven behavior, the sooner we can get to that point of acceptance. Actually, you know what, me turning this light on, isn’t going to change anything. Me, worrying isn’t going to change anything. I’m just going to stop worrying.

Martin: So, you just made me realize something. This is amazing. So actually, those who went out and panic bought a whole bunch of toilet paper and disinfectant was a method of them finding reassurance that if I have a stockpile of toilet paper, then I’m reassured that everything is going to be okay. When it really had no direct correlation to when this pandemic was going to end.

Darwin: Absolutely. It’s all to relieve the feeling of anxiety in the short term.

Martin: Wow.

Darwin: And that’s essentially the pattern that we tend to fall into. And what’s really interesting is that it’s now no longer just the people suffering from mental illness that are experiencing this. We’re all fear driven. Now, our behavior to varying degrees is fear driven, and we’re doing irrational things.

Martin: Right.

Darwin: We’re buying more than we need. We’re checking the news more than we usually do. Some of us are believing conspiracy theories about where this virus has come from.

Martin: And even like if there was an intention or like a malicious purpose as to why it even started in the first place.

Darwin: Absolutely. Yeah. And this is all well—for me, one of the main reasons for this is it’s this need to know. It comes back to this dealing with uncertainty. Well, yeah, this came from China. Yeah, that’s the explanation. Well now I know, that’s better than not knowing.

Martin: Right.

Darwin: Because not knowing is more anxiety provoking, and we don’t like to feel anxiety. We don’t like to feel not in control.

Martin: And I guess because there’s so much uncertainty as to when there’s going to be a vaccine, how long the supplies are going to last, the amount of cases, the amount of deaths. Then people start, especially on social media, gravitating towards conspiracy theories of those who are willing to give these answers, whether or not they’re factual or based off of any kind of science. It’s more reassuring for them to say, well, that person said it on Facebook, or that person posted it, so that must be what’s happening.

Darwin: Yeah. Even if people don’t really believe it. It’s very powerful. This anxiety relief. It’s a bit like a drug.

Martin: Regardless of what form that relief takes, so long as they get that relief.

Darwin: As long as they get that relief. We really don’t like feeling anxious. We’re actually hardwired to do that. Our brains release neuro chemicals, adrenaline, and it drives us physically to look for threat and to try and eradicate it. And the counterbalance to that is stepping back and thinking. And when we’re anxious we don’t think in a wider sense. We’re very narrow focused when we’re anxious. It’s like being in a jungle. You hear at night on your own, you hear a rustling in the bushes. You’re not going to listen out the background noise for the jungle, your whole focus and your attention will be where that noise come from.

Martin: Right. Is it a monster out my window?

Darwin: Yes, exactly.

Martin: Can you explain to those who are listening what exactly is “cabin fever” or going stir crazy? What is that and how is that in relation to what we’re going through right now?

Darwin: Ordinarily we have these natural breaks from our thought process. We very rarely do we spend hours and hours and hours thinking about all our worries because we have natural breaks. We go to work. We go for a walk outside. We have these natural breaks. But if you’re confined for an extended period of time in isolation, there are no checks or balances on your thinking. And you just have this ongoing kind of obsession or ongoing preoccupation with your worry. And that has a huge impact on how your body functions and how your mind functions. You then find it very difficult to sleep. You become sleep deprived. You then when you’re sleep deprived, your thinking becomes even less rational. Your mood shifts even more erratically. You become impulsive. Your appetite goes. You’re no longer having enough nutrition. And it all kind of combines in this perfect storm where you then just kind of implode and you just don’t function rationally. In the past that was used as a form of torture.

Martin: Isolation or solitary confinement in the prison is a method of punishment to criminals where they’re confined to a small space and they can’t go anywhere.

Darwin: Absolutely, yeah. And without any sort of external stimulation or breaks from your own thought process, add some sleep deprivation into that.

Martin: On top of a pandemic. On top of not knowing when this is all going to end.

Darwin: So yeah, in very extreme situations, people will just literally drive themselves mad. Stir-crazy.

Martin: So what are some common tips for our listeners? I’ve interviewed maybe ten or fifteen people and one of the things that they said their families or friends are going through is that they want to go outside. They want to be able to see their friends. They know that we have to social distance, that we have to remain in lockdown. But there’s that itch that I need to go outside. I need to be outside of the environment of my home physically and the environment of my thoughts mentally, like you mentioned. So if in the absence of being able to do that, do you have any tips to kind of help cope?

Darwin: Yeah. It’s interesting that when we are feeling extreme distress, we look for quite, I don’t want to say extreme, but we look for very explicit changes. Like we’re inside. We want to go outside. Actually any small changes can make a big difference. One of the things that we advise our patients who are very anxious because of their worries is we ask them to check their thinking every so often and make them more aware that they are worrying. So very basic thing is, ask yourself, what are you thinking about? Is what you’re thinking about making you feel more or less anxious? Is what you’re thinking about helpful? Do a little audit on your current thought process. If it doesn’t make you feel better or in other words it’s depleting you, then you need to take a step back, stop and try and limit the amount of time you spend thinking negatively or worrying. When you ask people, it’s really surprising, but when you ask people do they ever try to stop worrying, people very rarely, consciously try to stop worrying. They only stop worrying when they have evidence that what they’re worrying about is no longer around or they fall asleep, or they’re distracted by something else. Very rarely do people intentionally stop or consciously stop. So incorporating that kind of awareness and stopping yourself from worrying is a very simple thing to do. That doesn’t require you to go outside and put yourself at risk. But if you can be more aware, in tune with your own mental processes, that would be a huge, huge help because your mind goes places that you don’t realize is causing you a lot of damage. And you want to keep it away from those dangerous places.

Martin: Definitely. And I want to switch gears now when you said that we’re not so good with dealing with uncertainty, or not having control. As members of the Church Of Christ that’s kind of ingrained in us, knowing that not everything is in our control, and that the world is full of uncertainty. Why, as members of the Church Of Christ, are we more, I guess the advantage is that we’re a little bit more mentally prepared, mentally equipped that this situation isn’t necessarily gonna have such negative repercussions to our mental state because of the faith that has been ingrained in us?

Darwin: Yeah. I completely agree that members of the Church Of Christ are more mentally prepared. And one of the things that I always remember is that, especially now in these challenging times, is that you’re not to rely on your own abilities. That was always ingrained in me growing up not to rely on your own abilities. Your human abilities are limited and we should put our trust in God. For someone who has grown up trusting their abilities, that’s very difficult. Or this idea that human beings, scientists, and, all these very clever people can find a way, letting go of that idea that we can do something about it is very, very difficult. But I think for members of the Church, that’s ingrained in us. So I think that that’s a very good foundation for dealing with what we’re going through now. Trusting, having that trust in God, despite what’s going on; that solid foundation. For a lot of people who don’t have that, that’s a frightening place to be. Whereas for us, it’s we have an anchor. We’re grounded. There’s this solid rock that is immovable that we can just anchor ourselves to and we’re good. There’s nothing that can move us or harm us.

Martin: And how, mentally speaking, how invaluable is that to have that anchor?

Darwin: That is, I think the bedrock. That’s the foundation of keeping yourself sane in a really uncertain situation. You just look at the analogy. If you don’t have an anchor, if you’re not tied to anything, you’re just basically drifting. You’re just drifting at sea with no direction. And that’s a really scary place, mentally, whereas here, you don’t need to keep checking. You don’t need to keep doing unreasonable irrational things because you know that whichever way things go, you’ll be okay. That relieves you of anxiety. Then if you’re relieved of anxiety and fear, it’s unlikely that you’ll get caught in that vicious trap, that vicious cycle of irrational behavior, because you don’t need to.

Martin: Right. What’s the one piece of advice for any of our listeners right now who are going through this, who may have relatives, family members on the front line worrying about them, isolated at home with nobody to talk to, worried about themselves. Is there anything that you can give to reassure them that we’ll get through this okay, together?

Darwin: Yeah, I think it comes back to something that you mentioned earlier about realizing how limited we are as individuals, and not trying to, not trying to solve this situation and not trying to go for short term solutions to make yourself feel better. Bring all those anxieties to God and accept that we are not in control, that it’s God who is in control of this situation and that we leave all our worries and cares to God, which will then liberate us and free us to then focus on what we need to do. That’s useful. That’s nourishing to all the more and connect to our faith and what we do as members of the Church Of Christ. To pray more. To attend the worship service, even though it’s in our own homes. To make sure that we try to make the environment in which we worship as sacred and as holy as possible. To, to really immerse ourselves in what we do as, as members of the Church. Because this is a real challenge to our faith now. And for a lot of us, this will really help us, I believe, that this is a good opportunity to really prove how much we do trust in God. And the only way you can do that is by accepting our limitations and trusting that God will bring us through this.

[Music Transition]

Martin: That was Dr. Darwin Buyson. Now joining us is minister of the gospel, Bro. Donald Pinnock. Bro. Donald, Dr. Darwin mentioned that members of the Church Of Christ deal with bad situations differently. For our listeners who are not members of the Church Of Christ, what does that mean?

Bro. Donald: Well, members of the Church Of Christ do not place their trust nor hope in their own ability or even that of their fellow-man, like what some people are doing. Rather they follow what the Bible teaches, for example we can read in Proverbs 3:5-6 this;

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.

[Proverbs 3:5-6 New Living Translation]

Man’s understanding and ability, as we know, is limited, and God is quite the opposite; He is all-knowing and unlimited in His ability. That is why the members of the Church Of Christ, they place their hope and trust in who will, as the Bible teaches, direct our paths.

Martin: And Bro. Donald, how are members of the Church Of Christ better mentally equipped to handle challenges?

Bro. Donald: Well it’s not because we consider ourselves more intelligent or capable than others. But rather we follow, and believe in, what the Bible teaches. Philippians 4:6-7 makes known;

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.

[Philippians 4:6-7 The Living Bible]

We should notice that God grants us the inner peace that we need, especially during times like this, so that we do not fall into despair or desperation.

Martin: Now, what have members of the Church Of Christ been doing during lockdown, and how has that helped them?

Bro. Donald: Well, just like so many people, Martin, we have found ourselves with time to focus on certain aspects of life that perhaps were neglected in one way or another due to focusing on that which is more important in the sense of earning a living, and for the students, when it came to pursuing their education. But now, we all find more time to, for example exercise, when it comes to enhancing our family bonds, and even pursuing hobbies. But what is a staple in the life of Church Of Christ members, before and even during the lockdown restrictions is none other than the worship of God. Church Of Christ members have been worshipping God, primarily via video conferencing technology. The importance of the worship service cannot be overstated as we can glean from the following citation:

How happy are the people who worship you with songs, who live in the light of your kindness! Because of you they rejoice all day long, and they praise you for your goodness. You give us great victories; in your love you make us triumphant.

[Psalms 89:15-17 Today’s English Version]

That, by the way, we just read Psalms 89:15-17. Worshipping God gives us the joy or happiness that we need, even in the midst of this pandemic. During the worship service, we are able to sing hymns of praises. It is also during the worship service when we can best pray unto God.

Martin: And how effective can prayer be in our lives? Maybe those who are listening, they’re worried about what’s happening out there. Can prayer really make a difference?

Bro. Donald: Yes it can, Martin. We believe in what the Bible teaches about what God is prepared to do when we call or pray to Him. Psalms 91:15-16 states this:

“When they call to me, I will answer them; when they are in trouble, I will be with them. I will rescue them and honor them. I will reward them with long life; I will save them.”

[Psalms 91:15-16 Today’s English Version]

We should notice that God is prepared not only to hear but also to answer the prayers of His servants. And how is it that He will answer? Well, He says that He would be with us, He would rescue us, He would reward us with long life, and save us. What more could we ask for?

Martin: Definitely, Bro. Donald. It’s kind of freeing to know that God is there and He is controlling so much of what is good for us. So, how is knowing that God is in control of our lives help us?

Bro. Donald: Well for us members of the Church Of Christ, it gives us assurance and comfort. Because we know we can depend on God to help us at all times, since He Himself promises the following in Jeremiah 29:11;

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

[Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version]

This is why we rely completely on what God can do for us. We trust wholeheartedly in His promises. We do our part, of course, such as following the guidelines implemented by government officials during this pandemic. But we have the most important layer of security. We have the Almighty God to keep us safe, and to grant us a successful future.

Martin: We want to thank you all for joining us. First of all thank you Bro. Donald, for that amazing and enlightening spiritual guidance. Thank you to Dr. Darwin who is in the UK, for his expert advice. And thank you to all of our listeners. Please continue to follow our hashtag on our Instagram, #HeartAndSoulConversations to stay up to date with all things Heart & Soul. Make sure to subscribe to Heart & Soul wherever you get your podcasts at. And you can watch some of Heart & Soul on our INCMEDIA app, which you can download now on any of your streaming platforms, whether it’s android, apple tv, roku, or amazon fire stick. That’s it from us today, hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect, and hope you’ll join us next time, ready to listen with all your Heart And Soul. Be safe and take care.

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Adjusting to the New Normal as a Family

Is it possible to work from home and homeschool? Listen to Christian moms discuss how to adjust to the new normal with prayer, patience, and God.

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Mariel Gutierrez: Say “I” if you feel like it’s been a pretty exhausting, confusing and faith shaping few months.

Emirick Haro, Jewel Buenavista, Bernie Rosquites : I!

Mariel: Alright, well you’re listening to Faith and Family, a Christian family community that aims to promote Christian values. Hello, I’m Mariel Gutierrez, and I am a Tired Mom.

COVID-19, lockdowns, homeschooling, financial crisis, bad news on TV— It’s all bad. But we’ve managed to see a lot of good in this as well, right? We’ve been given opportunities to grow and become closer to our family and our faith, and we are adjusting to this new normal.

With the help of our panel moms, we’ll be discussing the ways we’ve been coping through prayer, practicing empathy, and trusting in God’s plan. And at the end of the episode, you’ll hear from Brother Serginio Bayani, a minister of the gospel, for some inspiring words.

But first, here with me are Bernie, Jewel and Emirick. How are you?

Bernie, Emirick & Jewel: Hi. Hello.

Bernie: Surviving

Emirick: Doing ok so far. Surviving, exactly.

Mariel: Yeah, like checking in. So, what’s the new normal look like in your house, ladies?

Bernie: I’m going to have to say the new normal for me is the whole homeschooling or distance learning, whatever you want to call it. That’s the new normal right now, you know, but I’m thankful that I have the support of other parents and friends. I’ve been reading a lot, educating myself about how other parents are dealing with the same thing.

Of course, you know, I pray every day, because that’s the one thing that’s keeping me going. You know, without prayer I don’t know. And I had to remind myself that number one: I am not a teacher, and my house, my home, is not a school, and I have to learn to just take one day at a time.

So, we start our day with a prayer and meditation, just to prepare ourselves, and most of the time my 7 year old, you all know Jojo, would be the one to lead the prayer. And he would include both of us in his prayer, and he would ask God to grant us both the patience and wisdom to get through each day, because that’s definitely what we need. Patience is key.

Mariel: He prays for you as well, like your patience and wisdom as well?

Bernie: Yeah

Mariel: Wow

Bernie: You know he asks, “Please, you know my mom, she’s trying really hard. Please give her the patience, because he knows, he knows he tests me.

Emirick: He’s like, “God, please help my mom. Please.”

Bernie: Like, “please, help her.” You know I’ve been reading, like I said I’ve been reading a lot of books and talking to other people. Some of the things I’ve learned is, you know, to have a village. Have a mom village where you have the safe space to just cry, laugh, laugh/cry, whatever. And even the kids, you know, their school was their community, but they don’t (have) that (anymore), so I’ve tried to do Zoom meet-ups with his other classmates

Emirick: Aww

Bernie: or even kids from church and, you know, family. And then I’ve also learned that I have to be more forgiving to myself. You know, sometimes you see these things on social media. You look at your feed and some of these parents are telling (everyone that) their kids are learning all these new life skills, and here I am, I’m just trying to get Jojo just to do one thing. And I realize every household is different, every kid, you know we’re paced differently.

Mariel: Right

Bernie: So I had to be, you know what? It’s all good. Lastly, I think for me was we built a routine. You know, we wake up the same time every day, we dress up, we eat breakfast, you know, all that. You actually still have to brush your teeth.

Emirick: You’re not wearing pajamas all day.

Bernie: Right? You know, and we start our day with a morning prayer and when the day is done, when we’ve done learning, we end it with some type of meditation, kind of like inhale and exhale.

Emirick: My new normal means to slow down and just chill out sometimes. The most challenging thing about being in quarantine was knowing how to positively adjust to the changes, because our pre-quarantine life was so busy. We were going everywhere, all around town, to do cello, basketball, art, swim, choir practice at church.

Mariel: Right, and you brought them tupperwares of food. I remember that.

Emirck: That was our normal, and b doing it and we were fine doing it.

Mariel: Yeah

Emirck: and we enjoyed doing it. I mean, even though it was crazy and we were tired and we could use a break, it was what we knew. So when all of it stopped I didn’t know how to slow down, I didn’t know how to chill out.

So I tried to continue that at home. I made schedules and lists and plans. I woke them up early in the morning. I was trying to be like, “Come on. We’ve got to keep it up. We’ve got to keep busy. We’re not going to let quarantine slow us down.”

And then it wouldn’t work so I’d revise the lists and the schedules and the plans. So, I had to pause and reflect and accept that I don’t have all the answers

Mariel: Right

Emirick: and just work on our relationships, so we all just slowed down. And it wasn’t so that we could be lazy and develop bad habits. You know, that was my fear in the beginning. We can’t slow down because then we’re going to develop all these bad habits. You know, I realized that slowing down was just about admitting that we’re not in control, I’m not in control, and letting God teach us how to pay attention better, you know, how to be a better listener.

So, I just slowed down. I prayed a lot and I realized that right now, it was more important for me to just empathize with my kids, because it is difficult. Everything that they see in the news, in their social media, everything that they were experiencing and just being in quarantine, not being able to see their friends on a normal basis, it was hard on all of us. Even though they didn’t say it,

Mariel & Bernie: Yeah

Emirick: I could see that it was really hard. So, I understood later on that it was more important for them to just feel safe, and to feel understood, and to feel loved, than to force everybody to work hard for something that didn’t make any sense right now, you know?

Mariel: Right. For us in our house grace, grace is a big word, you know?

Emirick: Yeah

Mariel: That’s something that I had to vocalize a lot for myself, for my children. Even like, you know, husband and wife relationships, you know, grace and that space for grace. I’m trying to learn, you know, to forgive myself for not knowing everything, not having all the answers, maybe not, you know, giving the kids the best food all the time. Because, again, I’m working and

Bernie: Come on now. Half of us here lived off of hot pockets, so it’s all good.

Mariel: You know, guilty, yeah. I saw them heating up a corn dog and I was like, “Okay, we’ll make it up for dinner,” you know?

Bernie: Yeah.

Emirick: We get the nutrients in at dinner.

Mariel: Yeah, I’ve been sitting with it a little more, letting myself feel, you know, and then just going through the motions of the feeling. Sometimes you are sad, upset, or angry, you know. And even with my children, sometimes we do have to sit with their feelings as well, you know, and we have to vocalize it. I let them do that too and express that they are upset or sad, you know, and I try not to punish them for it.

What we really try to do is understand the why. Why are you upset or do you want to talk about what’s making you upset, you know? So that’s kind of like where we’re at. There’s a lot of talking and checking in. And there’s a lot of space also to have them understand that this pandemic, where God is, right, amidst the pandemic, and allowing them to sit with the feel(ings) of like, maybe uncertainty and then turning to God, to lean to God because of that.

So that’s where we’re kind of at now. How about you, Jewel? Are you holding up okay?

Jewel: You know, I love listening to everything, what you mamas are saying, because I can literally relate to everything that you’re saying, you know. The first few months, honestly ladies, it was extremely difficult for me. As a business owner, my business dropped like 95%.

Mariel: Wow

Jewel: I didn’t have income for like three and a half months, and then on top of that, the same time, my mom gets diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

My parents were living upstairs, in our upstairs granny flat, and so right away I knew that it was unsafe for her to be going up the stairs. So in the middle of my business dropping, in the middle of pandemic, I had to do major renovations in my house so that I could move my parents downstairs. So to be able to pay for that when income wasn’t coming in was just, “Okay. I don’t know how we’re going to do this, but we’ll make it happen.”

And then on top of that, my kids you know, had to homeschool. And I realized too, for my personality, I need connection. I’m used to talking to people, hugging people, and all of that.

Mariel: Right, yeah.

Jewel: And then suddenly, it’s like, you can’t talk to anybody. You can’t go out. You can’t…

Bernie: You can’t touch anyone.

Emirick: You can’t get a massage.

Jewel: You can’t get a massage. And it was, I realize all of this was just all at once, too much for me to handle. And admittedly, it led me to a little bit of depression to a certain degree. But you know, that’s when prayer comes in, and God is good and this is where I get emotional. And so, because I remember how difficult, and I know that’s how it was for a lot of people, but no. That’s when God knows when you really need help.

You know, it reminds me of that verse where it says, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” And that’s exactly how I felt. I felt helpless and weak. Even my children saw it, you know, but it’s when I know God really takes over. And in all my life, it’s always been like that.

So, that’s what I relied on. I mean, as young as my kids were, we would have a family meeting, and then I would admit to them that, “Hey, kids, mommy’s struggling”, you know, but that’s why we pray. And then my kids, as young as they are, they I would say, “Don’t worry, Mommy, it’s going to be okay.” And it’s like, it’s true.

And so, you know, again, God uses our children to remind us. But one thing that really hit me was when we attend(ed) worship service, and I remember this one lesson. I remember it really well. It reminded us, you know, the minister reminded us that, like, none of this should be a surprise. You know what I mean? Biblically, the Bible talks about how, like pandemics are going to happen, just a lot of, you know, crazy things will happen during this time.

Emirick & Mariel: Yeah. Mmhmm.

Jewel: It’s bound to get worse, but what we have to be reminded is not to worry, and God will take care of them. So literally ladies, that is exactly what I held on to. I mean, I just, it’s to truly learn to let go and let God do His thing, you know?

And so fast forward, so I’m glad you’re asking me this question, because if you did ask me the question a few months ago I would just be mute. I would just be frozen. But now, you know, when you truly learn to let go, and the reason why I get emotional is because it’s beautiful to see God’s miracle happening right before your eyes. You know, I mean, as far as my business, I mean, what I lost in three and a half months, never in my life, you know, has that happened to me. I mean, God made it up in a month, as a matter of fact.

Emirick: Wow.

Jewel: God has provided even more opportunities that I’ve never imagined in my career, and so a lot of great blessings happening there. And with my mom, you know, we were able to safely transition her downstairs.

And what came out of that is my brothers, I have four brothers, my brothers and I started a weekly devotional prayer specifically for my mom and her condition. But what’s nice about that is, now, I’ve never spoken to my brothers this much, you know. They all have their own families, but every week I get to see them, we tell jokes, and it’s like, we’re connecting, we’re talking about our families. And so that is a huge silver lining just out of that, you know.

Emirick: I have to be honest, Jewel. When you were telling your story, I was getting very anxious, and you know, and my heart was breaking for you. But man, your silver linings and your, you know, the happy endings, I mean it’s not the end, but like, how much you’ve grown during this time and how much you were able to like, feel God’s love, and I was in tears with you. So I’m so happy for your journey.

Jewel: For all of us, right?

Mariel: Yes.

Jewel: It’s God’s way of forcing us to stop and focus on what He wants us to focus on.

Bernie: I think everybody needs a virtual hug right now, and we’re all going through it. I will say one of the valuable lessons we got was from Brother Eduardo Manalo, through one of his streaming worship service, was about not letting these anxieties overcome us. And when I heard that, it just like all clicked it.

Jewel: Yes.

Bernie: And it was the best spiritual medicine that I needed. That anxiety, it’s not even the same anymore. Even when I think it is, I’m like, “Let go, let go, let go. Just let it take its course.”

Emirick: There’s a confidence behind it, right?

Bernie: Yes, yes!

Emirick: You’re like, “Okay, we’ve got to get through this to make things better, you know.

Bernie: Yes.

Emirick: And so you just look for those silver linings.

Bernie: Yes. And I’m thankful for that. That has been the one, ever since that lesson that he taught just, you know, it’s like what Jewel was saying earlier, like, none of this is new. It’s going to happen. Don’t let that… and I’m a completely different person than I was prior to COVID, like the anxieties (don’t) eat me up like it did. My hair is still thinning, but you know, it’s given it time to grow back, because the anxiety has been crazy so.

Emirick: By the time this is all done, your hair grew back.

Bernie: Right? Yeah. It’ll be alright, everybody. It’s going to be alright.

Mariel: You know, sometimes it’s been tough. You know, even just between the four of us, here, like different situations, right? It’s been a struggle in our own ways, you know, but I hope you all feel, and I can hear that you all feel like we’re not alone, right, in this. God’s definitely got us and He’s been manifesting that in our lives in different ways, you know.

And our listeners as well, you’re not alone either. We’re here, God’s there, you know. If you’re sad, struggling, frustrated, it’s okay.

Bernie: Yeah, remember just pray, trust in God and practice empathy.

Mariel: Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Faith and Family. But before we end this, here’s some inspiring advice from Brother Serginio Bayani, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.

Brother Serginio Bayani: I believe we can all agree in regard to the faith and conviction of all the four moms who spoke, Sisters Mariel, Jewel, Emirick, and Bernie. These four women have something in common. Because of all the things that they mentioned, during their conversation, they spoke about prayer, and that’s exactly what we should be doing more of, especially during these times that many people now call “the new normal.”

The Bible tells us in Psalm 34, four and six:

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. … In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles.

[Psalm 34:4 & 6 New Living Translation]

Brother Serginio: What a wonderful thing to be reminded of this, that as the servants of God, we are the ones whom He gave the right to ask, to pray, to cry out and to make known our cries for help. The Bible said, “In my desperation I prayed.”— “In my desperation I prayed.” If you look up the word desperation in the dictionary, it is defined as this. Desperation: Loss of hope. Surrender to despair.

We live in desperate times. We live in a time of uncertainty. We have to deal with many worries, and cares, and fears right now in our lives. But remember the promise of God. His servant said, “In my desperation I prayed and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles.”

Remember, that’s the promise of God to His servants, and we happen to be His servants, His people in these last days. Even before COVID-19 started, we already prayed to God. We already had our personal and household devotional prayers. We already made known to God the things that we need, the things that we aspire for in this life. But there’s something that we’ve gotten to know about God even more during these times. And what is that?

During these times of desperation, we know that we can count on God. We know that God will not fail. God will not forsake. God will never disappoint His servants. Coupled with our faith in the power of prayer is our obedience to His teachings and commands. And as long as we remain loyal and faithful to Him, we know that God will always be there for us.

[Show closes]

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I Now Have A Relationship with God

Martin was used to struggling through life. He had an abusive father, a broken family. And though his mom did try to bring them closer to God by bringing them to different churches, Martin knew that it wasn’t true faith. Fast forward to adulthood, he accepts an invite to a worship service in the Church Of Christ, where he discovers what it means to have a true relationship with God.

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I Now Have A Relationship with God

Martin Castillo: My dad was very abusive. He used to hit my mom. Just remembering the pain…and the sufferings. You had to worry about getting beaten or yelled at all the time. Day by day, you just go do what you got to do.

I was struggling really bad.

[Show open]

[On screen graphic]

Stories of Faith

My name is Martin Castillo. I’m 47 years old. I was born and raised in Wailuku, Maui. I am Protuguese-Filipino.

In Maui, it was simple life—not too busy. I am the eldest of four. I was the oldest, so I always had to take care of my other siblings. Make sure they eat, make sure they do their homework. My parents [were] always working. My stepdad was in the military. He was a Catholic.

We went to mass maybe once a month and on Christmas Eve. I went through their Bible studies. I even became an altar boy at a point. I did those things because that’s what my parents wanted me to do.

My teen years were busy. I started a newspaper route. I continued to do my studies in high school. From there, I graduated [and] worked at McDonald’s and take care of my siblings while mom goes to work.

[On screen text graphic]

Emotional Roller Coaster

When my mom married my stepdad, I believe I was maybe 5 or 6 [years old]. My stepdad, he’s a good guy but, you know, he got into trouble—alcohol, drugs. But he taught me a lot of things. He taught me how to fix cars. He would be drunk all the time. And if the car didn’t do what he wanted it to do, he would get mad and throw the beer at the car or truck, whatever we were fixing. You know, he had a really bad temper. My mom even found cocaine under the bed and my mom confronted him.

At that point, she already got divorced from my dad, so basically, I was the man of the house so I had to help.

After they got divorced, it was still stressful because my dad would, you know, make you feel bad, “Oh how come you went with your mom? How come you’re not with me? Your mom is the one. Your mom is the bad person.” Emotional roller coaster.

Just remembering the pain…and the sufferings. You had to worry about, you know, getting beaten or yelled at all the time. Really, I just didn’t care anymore, you just… day by day, you just go, do what you got to do—go work. I tried to, maybe not come home as much. You go home, you go work. But during the time that my parents were married, I did, you tried more or I tried more to help with the house. So that, you know, my dad wouldn’t be mad. He would be…he would be happy.

[On screen text graphic]

Money Was Everything

I was struggling really bad. Money was everything at the time, so that you could buy stuff that you need, put gas in your car. I used to dig into rubbish cans at the tire store just to get new tires for my car, because I couldn’t afford it. My mom, she had to provide us food, medical. My dad, he wouldn’t go to work so that he wouldn’t have to pay child support.

At that point in my life, I didn’t really socialize that much. I had friends. We used to go drink after work. That was my way out in life at that time—to go drink with my friends, hand out, play video games at the pool hall, and then go work again the next day. All I did was work, go to school. I did go to church with mom and that’s how I met people.

[On screen text graphic]

It Wasn’t Really Faith

My mom took us to two different churches during that time. That church, it was a moving church. I think we were there maybe a year or two. We had to help put up a tent. We had to set up the sound equipment. There was a female pastor and a male pastor. It was one of those churches where you could dance around. Much later, after I left the church and didn’t hang around anymore, the pastors killed themselves. They were embezzling money from the church.

For me, it wasn’t really faith. It was, I guess bonding—to see other people, you know, believe in God or believe in Jesus Christ.

[On screen text graphic]

Something Felt Different

I was introduced into the Church Of Christ by a close family relative. He kept asking me to come to a worship service. I said, “No, I’m okay.” And eventually, I gave in and said, “Ok, I’ll come.” So I went to a worship service. I was, at first, surprised because the sisters would sit on one side and the brothers would sit on one side. And I thought that was strange at the time.

I kept going back to the Church Of Christ because something felt different. I can’t explain it. I just remember even going to Bible studies and the minister, you know, when he would teach, he would teach from the Bible. He would even show you the verses. You could see the truth, not just being told it. The lessons are geared towards understanding the Bible. Because you can read it like a book and you [won’t] understand it.

And by going through the Bible studies, you get to learn the things that were wrong in my previous religions like, you know, why the Catholic Church uses the big cross in the front and statues of different apostles around the church, Mother Mary.

The minister showed me the correct verses where you don’t worship idols. The only one that should be worshipped is our Almighty Father.

[On screen text graphic]

“You shall have no other gods before Me.

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image—

any likeness of anything that is in heaven above,

or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water

under the earth…”

[Exodus 20:3-4 New King James Version]

The things that I liked about this Church was that the things were read straight from the Bible, you had the answers from the Bible. A lot of the teachings just kind of clicked in your head that this is right. All that stuff played into my…thinking of where, “This is the one. This is the true Church. The Church Of Christ.”

[On screen text graphic]

Martin was baptized in the Church Of Christ on July 27, 2002.

Looking back at my life, I did have religion but I didn’t have that relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and God. Now, you have that relationship with our Almighty God. With that, the Church taught you how to be a stronger family by boning. Take that time out of your day to connect with your child, your wife. I believe in the teaching that there [is] a heaven, a place that we can go to with no hardships.

[On screen text graphic]

Straight From The Bible

I would encourage people to give the Church Of Christ, at least, a chance. I went to many different churches myself, and for me, the Church Of Christ teaches straight from the Bible. It encourages family, it encourages a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and our Almighty Father.

I guess my greatest fear is that when I speak to my mom and she doesn’t respond, my fear is that she will, ultimately, someday pass away and not find the Church or find the true religion that she’s seeking for.

For me, God is my Father—someone that you can talk to, someone that you can cry to. Only in the Church Of Christ, they teach you how to pray to God and to have that relationship with God.

I believe if I had the Church Of Christ when I was growing up, I would have probably gone through struggles knowing that you could pray to God and He would answer your prayers. Knowing that someone is there to lead you in that direction, I think would be so much more easier than the way I did it.

My story of faith is…never give up. No matter what you’re going through in life, keep seeking, keep looking, keep praying, and keep praying.

The One Thing Kids Need Most from Parents

Filmed in front of a Live studio audience before COVID-19, the tired moms of the Faith & Family podcast discuss the reasons kids need to feel seen.

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Mariel Gutierrez: Hello everyone, welcome to Faith and Family. We’re a Christian-family community that aims to provide Christian values. I’m Mariel Gutierrez, I’ve been a mom for ten years to two really, really, really cute kids- Matea and Massimo, they’re ten and seven.

Emirick Haro: Yay! I’m Emirick. I am a sleepy mom and I’ve been a sleepy mom for the past sixteen years. I have three boys, ages sixteen, thirteen, and ten.

Jewell Buenavista: And I am Jewell Buenavista and I am a multitasking mom to three active kids! Good adjective, right? Active kids- I have one daughter and two boys who think they are the Avengers.

Bernie Rosquites: I’m Bernie Rosquites and I only have one boy. I’ve been a mom- Jojo’s mom for four years. He’s four years old and he’s my man.

Mariel: So we’re the hosts of the podcast, the Faith and Family podcast- Tired Moms, which you can find on incmedia.org. And today is a really special day for us. Yea, a lot of people think that when we do these podcasts, we’re all together in one room but that’s not true.

Emirick: We’re miles apart.

Mariel: Some of us are in closets or like under the bed, hiding from my kids.

Emirick: I’m always in my kitchen

Mariel: Yea you’re always with your microwave. Yea, you know, but two of them, two of our panelists here today are coming from southern California.

Emirick: San Diego!

Mariel: Yea! So Jewell and Emirick are actually from southern California and this is the first time that we’re all together. To top it off, what makes it even more special, is all of you. This is the first time that we’re doing this in front of a live studio audience. Thank you so much for coming!

Everyone: Thank you!

Bernie: We’ve been doing podcasts for about a year now and Tired Moms has covered topics such as romance, marriage…let’s see, what else?

Mariel: Talking to toddlers. That was one of our first ones, right?

Bernie: Oh, talking to toddlers and dealing with mom guilt, and so much more!

Mariel: And the goal of this podcast is to reach out to the demographic of moms and wives out there who are also crazy like us and to really build a community with them and fortunately for us, we’ve connected with a few people.

Bernie: We have

Mariel: They sent us feedback…do you want to hear it?

Everyone: Yes!

Mariel: Just a few. Ok so this one is from Christine Marie from Las Vegas, Nevada. When she found out she was pregnant with her third child, she was really anxious, but this is what she had to say:

“So one very important thing that helped me to find peace with this pregnancy was a favorite podcast of mine, INC Faith and Family podcast.”

In this specific episode the ladies touched up on why we’re gifted with having children and one of the moms mentioned in a story with her husband about how they decided to have a third child. [Looking into the audience] Ah, the dad is nodding, he knows! We can raise another child to actually serve God and have the ability to have other children to serve God as well. And that’s really our purpose, right?

Jewell: My husband convinced me to have our third child and now we’re third child in and it’s a rollercoaster ride. And now, yea, we’re done.

Mariel: You can only use it once.

Jewell: Kids- three, two parents…we’re done.

Mariel: Anymore? Do you think?…I don’t think

Bernie: We have one more.

Mariel: We have two fans?

Bernie: Yes we have two fans. Uh, Floge Heremo, she’s from Pacific Northwest, and she wrote and said:

“I got around to listening to the Mom Guilt Podcast. Now I understand why I have mom guilt. I am so emotional and love deeply for my children. What touched me was towards the end…my kids turned out alright, I have to feel good about that. And it is okay to cry…”

Look at me moms! It’s okay to cry. It’s ok to cry because she’s been holding back a lot.

Mariel: You can do the ugly cry, right?

Bernie: Where nothing comes out, it just…

Mariel: That’s why we’re a podcast.

Bernie: She actually feels like she can cry now. It’s ok moms out there, it’s ok. And she says, “keep the podcasts coming.”

Mariel: Ok, alright…

Bernie: Ok, we will.

Emirick: And you can find our podcast on incmedia.org/faithandfamily. You can also find us on iTunes and Google Play search incmedia and please don’t forget to follow and subscribe.

Mariel: Today we’re going to try and talk about what exactly our kids need from us as parents. So, it’s a lot of questions. Being a mom, and possibly being a dad, I’ve never been so I don’t know but i know that moms, because yes we are slightly crazy, we think about our kids…

Jewell: It’s not crazy, it’s “momster”.

Mariel: Ok monster. Fine we’re momsters. We think about the kids 24/7, whether we need to or not. For me all the time, like whenever I’m having a great day, and I’m eating like a salad, I’m like, “Oh! Fiber. It’s going to be a great day for me.” And then I think about my kids and I’m like, “have they had enough fiber? Do we have enough toilet paper? Are they regular?

Emirick: Are things flowing well?

Mariel: I mean it’s a great thing. It’s a great day when I’m having fiber. So…I’m just saying. But these are the thoughts. Just the tip of the iceberg.

Bernie: Right. ANd there’s too much screen time.

Mariel: How much too much?

Bernie: Well iPad battery runs out…no but I mean…

Jewell: We’re so guilty of that!

Emirick: I’m concerned about the ingredients that my kids eat in their food. You know, I’m kind of obsessed about them not eating too many chemicals. My son, my oldest son, went through something with food and he has autism and so it’s one of those things I read about, I came across is just chemicals in food and the way for it is nowadays. You obsess about the different things that they’re eating, ingredients in the food.

Jewell: You hear so much stuff from society, right? You hear, “don’t sleep…do not co sleep”.

Emirick: There’s research on both sides most of the time so it’s like…

Jewell: You just have to do what works for you.

Emirick: I agree! You have to listen to your maternal instinct. Hey! I’m guilty of cosleeping.

Jewell: Hudson is sleeping in my arms tonight! You know what? You can be fifteen years old and you can still sleep next to me.

Mariel: I don’t know! There might be a limit…maybe thirty? I don’t know, girl, I don’t know.

Jewell: I’m not ready, I’m not ready.

Mariel: Ok, I don’t think we helped. We didn’t say exactly what, you know, parents need to provide to their kids. So we’re going to keep on asking. So we took to the streets. We brought it to the streets. You know, we asked other parents what they thought kids needed most from their parents. So, let’s take a look at what they had to say.

[videos of people interviewed]

Woman: I think it’s a safe, secure setting. I think they can’t really learn or grow in any way if they don’t feel safe and stable at home.

Woman: First of all, I stopped working out and I decided to take care of him and for his education.

Woman: Taking them on trips to places so that they had good exposure to lots of things.

Woman: Probably a sense of independence and letting them know how to survive without us.

Man: Love is the first thing, but also support when you need to and that’s emotional as well as financial and we always said when they were born that it was our job to get them an education and no debt and after that, they’re on their own.

Woman: For me it was unconditional love. I wasn’t one of those people who was like, put them in a crib and cry it out. I wanted my kids to always know that I was there, and that I would love them.

Woman: You just love them so much and I think that’s just what you can provide for them is kind of a safe environment.

Mariel: That’s unanimous then, right? Yea, we need to make sure that our kids know that they are loved, right? And that they feel like they matter and that we understand them and that we listen to them.

Emirick: Yes that’s most important.

Mariel: Yea, so they need to feel seen is what we are getting at, right? Is that we really see them and there’s this article that we read from Psychology Today and it’s by Alexandra Solomon. She is a Ph.D. and in the article She talks about having briefly and she recalls the death of her father and everyone was asking what are you going to remember the most? About your dad? They were asking her and her siblings actually and they all answered the same thing- “We are going to miss the way that his eyes light up every time we walked into the room.”

Bernie: Wow

Mariel: Do your eyes light up when Jojo comes into the room?

Bernie: All the time.

Mariel: Not with Rich?

Bernie: No, no, well…I don’t know. Well, you know as parents…

Jewell: He’s fun! He’s so cute!

Mariel: He is!

Bernie: You can ask him for a poem and I’m like, ok hold on.

Mariel: Let me tell you this.

Bernie: But let’s just think about that parents, let’s think about that for a moment. You know, let’s look away from our smartphones and think about this. When our children walk into the room, do our faces light up? And i’m not even saying a word, I’m just like that big smile on our face. Do they light up or are we already ready to like bark orders at them? Right? Like “Did you..why are all your toys all over the house? Did you clean it up?”. Mine was like, “did you cook the rice?”.

Emirick: Your parents or Jojo?

Bernie: No haha. Parents will do that. I walk in…”Did you cook the rice? Did you pull the laundry?”. Like…”but my day was good…”

Emirick: My husband’s really good. He comes home and after a hard day’s work, the first thing he does when he opens the door and he’s like, “Hello everybody I’m home! Where’s the line of people to greet me?”, and they just come rushing and they get in line to kiss him so…

Mariel: And it boils down to being seen. And you’re a teacher, is that correct?

Emirick: Yea, I’m a teacher, I teach fifth and sixth grade.

Mariel: So you see a lot of kids?

Emirick: I do. And there is a significant difference between the kids. The kids who are seen, the kids who feel their parents understand them and relate to them more- they’re just much more confident, you know, they’re much more confident and their academics, they work a little harder, they’re a little more focused, as well as they’re a little more stronger in their convictions. You know? And the choices that they make- they have a tendency to make better choices. And the kids who aren’t seen- it’s like they’re looking to be seen. You know? So they’re trying to get attention in different ways and sometimes that way is negative.

Mariel: But can we undo that? Like is it too late?

Bernie: I don’t think so.

Emirick: I don’t think so. I think there might be a little bit of, like, mending to do for some wounds from the past, but I think there’s always a chance.

Mariel: Yea, there’s always hope?

Emirick: Always! Always hope.

Mariel: You hear us all the time- conscious effort, conscious effort.

Emirick: Yes.

Mariel: How do you show them that they matter?

Jewell: Every week, my husband and I, we alternate who we take out to lunch, we go to their school. And so like Harmony will take like Jasmine and I will take Hayden and we alternate and we take them out of school so they feel all special. They feel special, like, “Oh are we going to go?”…

Emirick: They’re waiting for the phone call, “Jasmine, please come to the office…”

Bernie: They’re like, “See ya! Enjoy that cafeteria lunch, I’m getting McNuggets! Bye!”

Jewell: Just 25 minutes if you think about it but to them it means the world.

Bernie: For me, my husband’s really good at this. My husband always likes to include my son when they’re cooking. My husband is like, “Do you want to crack the egg? Sprinkle cheese on the nachos”, my husband is so good at that! For me, I’m like, “We just need to get this done. I got 45 minutes.” but my husband…

Jewell: It’s true!

Bernie: Right? But my husband, thank God, he’s so patient because he’s like you know, crack the egg and all that…

Jewell: That’s so my husband

Bernie: And after we eat, we’re eating the meal and we tell my son, “This is delicious, you did an amazing job.” and for those who have had the opportunity to meet my son, he’s a ham, ok? And he loves to do shows. He loves to put on shows and sometimes…my husband and I will stop…it’s only five minutes…my son will do a little show, he’ll do a song, he’ll do something, and we do standing ovations, I ask for his autograph, I’ll even do an interview sometimes. Sometimes it’s just five minutes. It’s not like a long show, but it’s just five minutes and those five minutes, I don’t ever want to miss out on that opportunity.

Mariel: I know that we have our different ways of including God, like, in our parenting style. For me, often, and maybe you out there, I often will say things like, “Oh you better not do that, God is looking. God can see you”, you know? And the thing is, I think that I had to make a conscious effort to not only include God when it was time to discipline the kids, and say that He’s only looking when they’re doing things that are bad, right? So we switched gears and then everytime like, there are needs in the house, or the household and the family, like specifically if the kids have needs like, “Help Matea on her test” or “Massimo is sick, Dear God, you see him, please heal his sickness”, and as it’s happening, he feels like, “God knows me?”, you know? When you say his name to God and they feel seen by God as well, or that’s at least how it feels, you know? And they build that connection with God and they feel understood like they matter to God.

Jewell: Well you know, also, in the Church Of Christ, I love how in the Church Of Christ we have children’s worship services, we have INC Kids activities, again, just built for the children, so the children really feel like they’re important. That they’re not just there, you know? That there’s activities specifically for them.

Bernie: Right. So, it’s important…it’s important that we make our children feel seen and that they matter because they do. So for the moms out there, don’t worry…don’t start worrying about, you know, “Should my child be speaking French by the time he’s two. What’s the proper age for potty training” and all that because we’re here together, we’re here for each other. We are a village, we are a community, and we are here to uplift each other. We’re not here to tear each other down. There’s no mom-shaming so if we see a child walking around with two different pairs of shoes on each foot, it’s ok because I’ve done the same thing last week- one was blue, one was brown, and I almost walked out of the house with this. So, you know…

Mariel: Were you comfortable?

Bernie: I was actually kind of comfortable because I didn’t even notice till I got to work.

Emirick: It’s fine. She was wearing brown and blue all over, it was all good.

Bernie: Don’t worry about it! It’s the latest trend!

Mariel: Alright, well you know, I don’t think that these are things or issues that our parents might have thought about. Like way back…like, “Oh, what’s in the food”, or…I don’t know. I asked my…

Jewell: It’s the internet

Mariel: Yea…it’s that we have all this information available to us now, right? But I asked my mom. I was like, “Mom, did you…when I was a baby in like, 1998, were you…did you really think about like, aspartame or like, co-sleeping?”. And she was like, “You know what? I can’t even remember if those things were really that important to me. And she said, “But if I could just do it all over again, all I would want is… I wish I would have just spent more time with you.”, you know?

Jewell: She was already at home and she still feels like…so does that mean we’re going to feel like this forever?

Emirick: Probably.

Mariel: It’s mom guilt, right? My mom has mom guilt. You know, but I think that’s the point. We say this, and we’re going to bring it up again- conscious effort, right? And in the end, it’s not like really about how much time you have, it’s what you do with it. And so, us Tired Moms in the panel, I think we all are going to challenge each other to see our babies in their dirty clothes, I think it’s like no shower day 3 for my kids, I’m not sure…but you know what?

Emirick: Like when their hair starts getting greasy

Mariel: It’s like paste now, but it’s ok. You know what? And really make sure that they feel understood and loved in all their forms, right? And in all their phases. And for us moms, too, always be conscious, love bravely, right?

Emirick: I love that

Mariel: And on purpose.

Emirick: Love bravely

Mariel: Yea bravely, Alexandra Solomon, Ph.D., hey! Hey there’s a reason.

Emirick: Don’t talk about the laundry all the time.

Mariel: So I’m sad because this is it.

Emirick: That’s it? We’re done?

Mariel: Yea, I’m sad because they go back to Socal and we go back in our pajamas, and you know, hide in the closet.

Emirick: Talk in the bathroom

Mariel: Yea, but I wanted to thank the panelists of course, Emirick and Jewell for coming up from Socal

Jewell: Yes

Mariel: Bernie, for crossing the street, right?

Bernie: Seriously

Mariel: And everyone here, uh, we appreciate you being here so much, thank you for listening to Tired Moms and for being with us on this episode of Faith and Family

Why It’s Even More Important To Worship God

One trip to the grocery store and you’ll see so many people are so scared right now. They don’t know who to trust, but they’re looking for hope as the world deals with disease, natural and man-made disasters, economic collapse, and so many other fearful things.

During these times, many people offer prayers to God for help, even though it might not be something they usually do. According to the Washington Post, more than half of Americans have prayed for the end of coronavirus.

Recent studies of individuals between 18 and 35 indicate that those who profess to be Christians attend church services only sporadically during the month, and attending has become less frequent, especially these days.

Before physical distancing, one study found that 54% of those surveyed attend church services at least once a month. Only 33% are in the pews once a week or more. 30% attend even less frequently. A small group of professing Christians (10%) say they used to go to church services, but no longer do.

But is this time of uncertainty the perfect opportunity to return to God and seek Him earnestly?

What I’ve Learned About True Worship and Why It’s Important

When I was younger, and not a member of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ, I used to think that God hears all prayers, but worshiping Him was far from my mind. I wasn’t exactly religious. I had moved to Canada from England and drifted from my religious roots. Even though my mom kept trying to convince me, I wondered, “Should I attend church services?”

It was only years later that I learned about God, our Creator, Who wants to help those whom He created. So, during this pandemic—a time when people are feeling lost and looking for a source of comfort—worshiping God is what gives His children assurance.

“The one thing that keeps me going is when my parents and I are together for our worship services. I just know that God’s always by my side and He’ll never forsake me.” – Yllana Antenor, a NICU nurse from Manila, Philippines.

“The worship service is what’s really helping me to feel some sort of peace, to ease my anxieties and to remain connected to God during this time.” – Xandria Cortez, a nurse from Melbourne, Australia.

“Every time we hear the words of God, it just strengthens us. We can only rely on God.” – Taritz Sto. Domingo, a nurse from Toronto, Canada.

Members of the Church Of Christ, like Yllana, Xandria, and Taritz, knew that this pandemic is not a time to give in to feelings of helplessness and despair. Instead, this is the time to lean on God and devote ourselves in worshiping Him.

1. God Hears and Saves True Worshipers

Even now, when worship buildings around the world are closed to the public, when fear and uncertainty battle against hope and faith on a minute-by-minute basis, now is the perfect time to show God how important worshiping Him is to you, even if it is through video conferencing.

The Bible even gives an assurance to those who pray to God at that time and place:

“If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.” – II Chronicles 20:9 NIV

So, what exactly is the true worship? The Bible says that the best place to seek help from God is in the Temple, or the place of worship, during our worship services.

2. God Blesses Those Who Worship Him

Sadly, some people have a negative outlook when it comes to worship: “Why should I attend worship service?

Or, perhaps they are thinking, “Maybe God just wants us to be better people, we don’t actually have to worship Him.” Or “Judgment Day is just a myth, and these scary things are happening because nature is just resetting the earth.”

But such people are making a huge and grave mistake, because there is so much that can be derived from worshiping God: joining fellow believers in hymn-singing, joining in congregational prayer as well as offering a personal prayer to God, gaining spiritual strength for our inner being, and enjoying the fellowship of the others after the worship service.

It’s natural for a person to experience burn-out, due to work, and for others, family. But the worship service is in many ways therapeutic. A worshiper is placing his future, his life, in the hands of his Creator. There is no one and nothing we can compare to Him.

“How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise! Selah.” – Psalm 84:1-2 & 4 ESV

What does the Bible say about true worship? It is good to worship God. Those who do so consistently will be blessed perpetually. And there is no doubt, all of us need such blessings in our life.

3. God’s True Worshipers are in the Church Of Christ

Back when I was younger, as much as my mom reminded me to go to our chapel, I didn’t find it important. I was in with the wrong crowd experimenting with all kinds of pleasures. But after learning from the Bible that God has true worshipers (Jn. 4:23), and that worship based on the teachings of man and not the teachings of God is in vain (Matt. 15:9), then it became clear to me that such was not the case.

Our Lord Jesus Christ clearly describes not only the kind of worship that God seeks, but also whom God is seeking to worship Him:

“But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.” – John 4:23 NKJV

God wants to be worshiped in spirit and in truth. And the only ones who can do so are the true worshipers. Sadly, man lost that right to worship God because of sin (Rom. 3:23, Isa. 59:2). But those who have been forgiven of their sins (and thus have been reconciled to God) through the blood of Christ have regained that right to worship God, and the assured hope of salvation:

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!” – Romans 5:8-9 NIV

Such people can be found in the Church built and redeemed or purchased by Christ with His blood. That Church bears His name—the Church Of Christ:

“Take heed therefore to yourselves and to all the flock over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you overseers, to feed the church of Christ which he has purchased with his blood.” – Acts 20:28 Lamsa

Members of the true Church Of Christ are being sought by God to worship Him in spirit and in truth.

4. Worship Service in the Church Of Christ

Before joining the Church, there was always a void within me that could not be filled with any amount of carousing and inebriation. After each moment of elation, I had to return to the reality of my life, and that was one of mediocrity and dissatisfaction.

Eventually, I realized I had to make a change. And it was then that I yearned to have God in my life. It took some time and some soul-searching. Baby steps at first, giving up one vice after another. My dear mother took me to some of her church services, but I just didn’t feel anything there.

It was only when I began to attend the worship services of the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ that I truly felt spiritually uplifted. That was over 35 years ago. And I’m still here.

What is true worship? It is the worship being rendered by the members of the Church Of Christ. The members of the first-century Church Of Christ held their worship services in this manner:

“How is it then, brethren? Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification. … What is the conclusion then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with the understanding. I will sing with the spirit, and I will also sing with the understanding. … Let all things be done decently and in order.” – I Corinthians 14:26, 15, 40 NKJV

The worship service of the first century Christians was not chaotic, but rather decent and orderly. There was hymn-singing, the preaching of God’s words, with explanation and interpretation if spoken in a foreign language, and prayer. This program of the worship service was intended to edify the worshipers, and always to render glory to God.

If you’re still wondering if there is a right way to worship God, or if you want to find the true place to worship Him, set up some time to talk with a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.

This blog was written by Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. He has been an ordained minister for over 18 years. He hosts the show The Solution, where he helps individuals find solutions to life’s problems using only the Bible.

I Longed For A Relationship with God

“It’s all about me” is written in bold pink letters on Mariela’s shirt as she smiles for the camera.

But after the picture is taken, that smile quickly fades because smiling, or the feeling of happiness, was such a foreign concept to her.

*Young Mariela in her pajamas standing on a couch*

“I would say my childhood was a little bit more different [from] the kids that I grew up with. I grew up in a less fortunate environment…there [was] a lot of violence and just like…no one was really safe. A lot of shootings. And so for that reason, I was not allowed to be out with all my other friends. So it was really like, I would say lonely.”

For as long as I can remember I was always bullied. So that didn’t really help with just my self-esteem, with my mental health and just making friends in general.”

She was shy, and more withdrawn than others. And while most kids her age were busy with memorizing the multiplication table or learning to do laundry while washing the dishes, Mariela was dealing with bigger problems.

“…he was always over and stuff like that. And he would obviously take that opportunity to…to do his thing to me, which obviously affected me because I was younger than 10 and I didn’t know what was happening. So I was exposed really early to just like…all these sexual things. And just, really, from there, it went really downhill with life for me.

I was actually molested as a kid.”

Feelings of Worthlessness

At the time, she didn’t know those private moments behind closed doors were a bad thing. All she knew was that whatever was happening to her felt wrong. She felt useless, unwanted, and unloved.

*Mariela as a young girl holding a birthday cake*

She never told anyone.

After taking sex education in high school, she realized she was sexually abused. And she was showing all the signs.

Studies reveal that people who have experienced sexual abuse usually develop low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. They grow up not being able to trust anyone and can become suicidal.

“I’ve been diagnosed with depression, and frankly I’m not surprised because of everything I’ve been through, and I actually [did] self harm for a really long time.”

With the blades from pencil sharpeners, Mariela would frequently cut through her skin as a way of releasing the pain that she kept inside.

She blamed herself for everything and hated who she was.

“Six, seven years after it happened, I opened up, actually, to my dad’s girlfriend, because I was doing therapy, and I was doing a psychological assessment…

And then I think in that moment, I started crying. And she came around from the table, and she just hugged me, which I never had...and from there, I told my dad and then I told my mom and then we kind of just like, slowly dealt with it.”

Warmth in Her Heart

She didn’t have a lot of friends in high school; she was mostly a loner. She found herself feeling uneasy in a crowd or even talking to a few people.

But she did hold on to a small circle of friends and hung out with them when she could. She thought it was strange that her friend’s schedule consisted of school, homework, and going to worship service all the time.

“So I asked him about it, and he was like, ‘Oh, I’m a member of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ.’ And I was just like, ‘The Church Of Christ? Okay, that’s, that’s cool.’

I was just like, ‘Can I come to your Church?’”

She attended a worship service, and she felt a warmth in her heart. She was impressed with the choir members and the hymn singing because it wasn’t something she was used to. She remembered hearing live bands play at the Pentecostal church she went to as a child.

Mariela kept attending the worship services. She got to know the people. She felt safe, and she started to believe the teachings taught in the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ).

“One thing that really made me feel like I was in the true Church, that convinced me that the Church Of Christ was the true Church, was the Bible. Anywhere [in the Bible] that talks about prophecies [concerning the Church] they [the ministers of the Church Of Christ] teach us was always fulfilled in the Church. And it was always in the Bible. So it was honestly like, I wasn’t being lied to. They didn’t make it up. They didn’t just say it without any proof or any evidence of it happening.”

That Relationship with God

The worship service lessons in the Church Of Christ started to fill her heart with confidence, and the friends she made, true Christians, made her feel like she belonged. She found a reason and a purpose to exist. The closer she grew to having a relationship with God, the less she felt like cutting herself. And she knew she wanted to keep learning, but her mother was against it.

So instead of diving right in, Mariela took her time and waited until she was 18. And her first decision as an adult was to sign up as a doctrinal instructee to become a member of the Church Of Christ.

*Mariela holding a birthday cake with message that reads: “From INCenterstage Fam*

“Being a member of the Church…it just really gave me that satisfaction where it was like, I am getting that relationship with God. What I’ve always wanted was a relationship with God that was secure, a family that loved me and that I loved, and just happiness in general. And those are the three things that I really, really wanted in life, and no matter what I did, it was really hard to get. But being a member, and actually being baptized and actually being an active member, I got all three [of those] things. Me sitting here today, I’m telling you, it will give you that happiness, that secure feeling that you’ve always been looking for. That…just love, not only from the members, but it’s especially from God.

Being a member [of the Iglesia ni Cristo or Church Of Christ] really saved my life. Being a member gave me that hope and just love that I always needed to continue on.

My story of faith is how I want the world to really see how the Church Of Christ changes your life for the good.”

Today, Mariela is happy. She can genuinely smile and laugh. And to her, that’s a huge milestone because it fuels her confidence and lets her know that she is loved. She is worthy.

And while her past might be a blur, she’s realizing that her life is just starting now and there is an awesome future ahead of her, now that she’s developed a relationship with God.

Staying Positive Despite the Economic Crisis

As businesses remain closed due to Covid-19, many people face pay cuts, less hours and even losing their jobs. Despite the pandemic, members of the Church Of Christ stay positive through God’s words taught during a live stream worship service led by Executive Minister, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo.

Show/Hide Transcript

Despite the Pandemic

[On-screen text graphic]

An Executive News Presentation

Reporter 1: A patient’s arrival…

Reporter 2: Australia has become the latest continent to confirm a case…

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In association with Christian Era Broadcasting Service International, Inc.

Reporter 3: Tens of thousands were infected… death tolls still rising

Reporter 4: Another 30,000 people have lost their jobs tonight.

Reporter 5: The closures are hitting nearly every aspect of life..

Reporter 5: Thousands laid-off, stores shut down and all of this is having an impact on our global economy.

Reporter 6: ..and there’s the underlying stress providing a living wage for long-time staff.

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Bro. David Foldi
Melbourne, Australia

Brother David Foldi: The galvanizing crisis left me no time to prepare for any financial situation. In fact, we lost sales, we had sales canceled. Which made [the] income that I thought I had coming in, had actually stopped.

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Sis. Marda Debnam
North Carolina, USA

Sister Marda Debname: I did have to take a cut and pay and my hours were cut due to the quarantine and the lockdown.

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Sis. Natalie Flitzpatrick
British Columbia, Canada

Sister Natalie Flitzpatrick: I remember my boss called me one morning saying “Hey, don’t come-in to the office today”

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Sis. Samantha Demillo
Sydney, Australia

Sister Samantha Demilio: I received a text from my practice manager that they couldn’t provide me with work anymore.

Sister Natalie: The first thing that I thought was “What are we going to do? Am I going to still have a job at the end of the day? Am I going to be able to afford to pay for my rent? Will I have a place to live?”

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Sis. Geraldine Doe
Athens, Greece

Sister Geraldine Doe: There is no income but lots of bills to pay. It’s saddening but we need to stay positive.

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Despite the Pandemic

Brother David: Prior to the current quarantine/lockdown, I’ve run several businesses. I was a plumber, a hotel manager. Then, I ran several businesses for myself as well as the people, and did some property development.

Sister Natalie: I live in Surrey, British Columbia, Canada and I work as a graphic designer.

Sister Geraldine: I work in my own business, a [beauty] parlor Shop.

Sister Samantha: I’m in my final year of university, and I also work as a dental assistant and a receptionist at a dental clinic.

Sister Marda: I was working from 9 am to 6 pm and it was in an office with about 20 people. Anything that needs to be moved, any type of freight, that’s what I do—I’m in logistics.

Sister Geraldine: When the COVID-19 pandemic began, a lockdown was implemented. All shops were required to close down.

Brother David: The first thing that crossed my mind when the current quarantine/lockdown was enforced was extreme sadness for those who were sick and for those who would die. And secondly, “How was I going to get my family through this?”. And I just hope that for the last ten years, I have prepared enough that we would get through these hard times.

Sister Geraldine: Of course for myself, I was sad. Because, before the lockdown, our income was stable—paying bills like rent, (house rent, rent for the shop), electricity weren’t a problem.

Sister Samantha: I had a feeling that our clinic would close down especially with the amount of patients [who] started to cancel their appointments because they were scared that they might contract the virus.

Sister Natalie: Once of the things my boss asked me the first day that I came in after finding out that it had reached British Columbia was “Are you afraid?”

If I was meant to keep my job, God [would make] that His will and He allowed me to keep my job. If I had lost my job, also God’s will—whatever His plan may be. I don’t have full control over the things of this world or anything that may affect me. So, I think the best mindset to keep is a positive one.

Sister Marda: I just got to pray because I know that if I pray—whatever situation I’m in—God is going to help calm me and He is going to give me the answers that I need.

Sister Geraldine: My membership inside the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ) is a huge help to me and is very important for me—especially, now that we are in the middle of a pandemic.

Sister Marda: I’ve been in the situation where I’ve been laid-off from work but then, God has provided for me all these years. As long as I do what He expects for me to do—He’s going to make a way.

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In line with the community quarantine guidelines implemented around the world, Church Of Christ members continue to hold worship services in their respective homes.

[Video starts]

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May 10, 2020
Worship Service
Through videoconferencing

Brother Eduardo V. Manalo: We are God’s people. We are His chosen ones and belong to Him. The Bible says that God’s true chosen ones obey only Him. We should obey God’s will that we receive.

Brethren, what does God seek from us? God wants to see us holy and without blame. Have you noticed our campaign in the Church—to uphold the intensive renewal of life? We didn’t invent that. That is God’s teaching that we should obey. God really expects His true chosen ones to be holy and without blame in His sight.

[Video ends]

Sister Marda: I joined the church when I was a college student. And when I went to the first Bible exposition, I was completely blown away—I just loved the way the ministers answer from the Bible. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this church is true and I wanted to be a member.

My relationship with God has been important to me from the day I was baptized or even started listening to the Bible study lessons. And how I safeguard that or how I try to nurture my relationship with God, it’s like the video streaming that we just had yesterday where Brother Eduardo V. Manalo is saying that we should live to please God.

And you know like everyone else, I’m not perfect but that is my goal in life. That is my motto. Being 57 years old, you could imagine—I’ve had a lot of experiences. And a lot of them have not been pleasant but God has always been there. There is a little saying “I know where my help comes from.” My help comes from God. So, why would I want to mess that up? God—He’s my provider. So, I don’t want to mess up that relationship.

[Video starts]

Brother Eduardo V. Manalo: The apostles said that God has chosen us to tell people how great He is. We need to make all people know: How they can be saved.

What Church is recorded in the Bible as the one that was redeemed by Christ? The Church Of Christ. So, people should realize the significance of the Church Of Christ. People who are in the Church Of Christ are the ones whom Christ redeemed. They are the ones who are certain of salvation.

Brethren, may our works of propagation keep on going so many more people will be called into the true religion and come to know the truth that will lead them to salvation. Remember: That is our duty as Church Of Christ members for us to prove to God that we truly are the ones whom He has chosen and called to be included in His true nation.

[Video ends]

[On-screen text graphics]
During this time, many Church Of Christ members have also been using videoconferencing technology to continue in sharing their faith.

Sister Marda: I’d invite my family and friends, sent the links when we get them on Bible studies, On-Air, Online evangelical missions. I want them to be saved.

Sister Natalie: We’re all very grateful for this opportunity to share our faith with our friends and family who might now more than ever be seeking for answers—looking for God—when they might not have been before.

Sister Marda: I love being a member of the Church. I mean, I love performing my duties. That works what helps keep me grounded and it keeps me busy.

[Video starts]

Brother Eduardo V. Manalo: We should hold on to all the teachings of God that His Messenger taught us because those are truths. We should have the determination to obey them. We should never separate from God’s teachings that the Messenger taught us.

Although the one who administers the Church may be succeeded by another, God’s teachings taught by the Messenger remain. We never separate from them. That’s why the Bible tells us that we must stand firm in God’s truths that we received.

Brethren, when do we receive the truth or God’s words in which we should stand firm with determination, and firmly hold on to? During our worship services, that’s why we do not stop holding our worship services. Even if there’s a lockdown, what do we do? We have this mode of meeting together for worship. Why? Because it’s very important that we receive God’s words that are taught to us in the worship service.

Brethren, whatever happens, let us not stop worshiping God. I thank God because that’s what we are able to fulfill.

[Video ends]

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Bro. Rodel Palma
Heathrow, UK

Brother Rodel Palma: When it broke the news that all of England will be on a lockdown, my family was affected. I told my children that their time is difficult and challenging. There is no one that they can pray to aside from God, the Father who is in heaven. So that’s what we’re doing. We continually worship God even in our own house, asking for God’s help and mercy so that we’ll be able to overcome what’s happening here on earth.

Sister Geraldine: I attend the worship services that we conduct in our households where we listen to God’s words. As a member of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ), this is what keeps me going.

Sister Marda: People who know me, know my routine. They know the day of my worship service, they know the time of my worship service. But I think it is shocking in a pleasant way how much we value our worship services. We dedicate ourselves to our worship services because this is our duty. So, I’m very thankful because I could not imagine not having a worship service.

I have no idea what this world is going to be like with this pandemic or COVID-19. The world as we know it will never be the same.

Brother David: At the moment we are surrounded by uncertainty—and which causes massive anxiety for some people—being able to focus on worship and Bible study and gives us absolute certainty about the future.

Sister Natalie: You know, no matter what happens in this world, I know for sure the one thing, the only thing that I hope to keep is my membership inside the Church Of Christ.

Sister Marda: I don’t wake up every morning scared to death of what’s gonna happen. I try to protect myself from this pandemic and I pray to God about it. And, whatever happens is going to happen.

And you know, if I lose my life to this pandemic or whatever the case may be, I know that Judgement day is going to come and as long as I continue to do what I have to do, I’m hopeful that on Judgement day I’ll be saved.

[Video starts]

Brother Eduardo V. Manalo: We should consider as a great blessing not only that we’re Church Of Christ members but also we are able to worship God. For when we are heavily burdened, when tribulations come to our lives, when we feel disheartened, when we are hard-pressed, when we are beset with heavy problems, during our worship services, God uplifts us. During our worship services, we experience His help. During our worship services, we feel God’s power.

[Video ends]

Can You Prepare for Crisis and Uncertainty?

“When the news about the Coronavirus outbreak started to come out, I was 32 weeks [pregnant]. I was still working at that time, and a lot of things were running through my mind.”

Becoming a first-time mom was nerve-racking already for Adelfa Manguit. But the thought of starting that journey in the middle of a pandemic seemed terrifying.

“Being pregnant, my immune system was compromised, and with the little knowledge we know about the Coronavirus and the risks to pregnant individuals, it was scary.”

But she wasn’t alone in feeling scared.

In March, when news about the spread of the coronavirus intensified, so did searches about prayers.

And with uncertainty spreading just as quickly as the virus, many people were left wondering how you cope with something that feels entirely out of your hands.

Searching for answers in prayer

Maybe you tried Googling for answers? You’re not alone. According to Jeanet Sinding Bentzen, the executive director of the Association for the Study of Religion, Economics, and Culture at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark, “Search intensity for prayer doubles for every 80,000 new registered cases of COVID-19.”

But people aren’t just searching about prayer, they’re praying. According to a survey done by Pew Research, 55% of Americans have prayed for the end of COVID.

Among those praying to end COVID were individuals who said they either seldom or never prayed before the pandemic, as well as people who say they do not belong to any religion.

Along with searches about prayer, the popular Bible app YouVersion saw spikes for searches for “fear not” by 299%. The coronavirus has made many rethink aspects of their life, including their belief in God and the Bible.

“I started by searching for a question I never really considered before: ‘Why does God let us feel pain?’ This is something I never considered during the blessedly few and far between moments when I was truly sick, but as this virus is happening on a global scale, I needed answers,” said Patricia Johnson, who identifies herself as a moderate Christian.

During times of uncertainty, as humans, we tend to look for answers. We look for a greater understanding of why things are happening. Many find themselves looking to God for answers. Researchers saw this type of renewed religious commitment in the aftermath of 9/11 and often during times of natural disasters.

This coronavirus pandemic was no different.

“I never really thought much about my belief in God until this pandemic hit, and then I wondered – ‘Why would a supposedly benevolent being allow something like this to happen? What could possibly be the purpose?’” – Patricia.

The pandemic shattered routines and normal lives in a way no one ever expected, leaving many in search of answers and reason.

“Literally, every aspect of our lives had to change so drastically and so fast.” – Madane Bastero, a stay at home mom from Kent, Washington a city just outside of Seattle, where the first outbreak in the US took hold.

As a member of the Church Of Christ, Madane and her family turned to the one place they knew they could find answers.

Finding Answers in A World Lacking Certainty

Twice a week members of the Church Of Christ gather for worship, and to hear God’s words written in the Bible. And while the pandemic disrupted every aspect of their lives, including their ability to gather together in the Iglesia Ni Cristo worship buildings, the ability to listen to God’s teachings twice a week was not disrupted.

It was the one sure thing worshippers like Madane could rely on.

“To be able to still worship, even if it’s at home, gave a sense of normalcy even just for a short moment.”

Even for Adelfa, who was admitted into the hospital twice before giving birth the week the state of Florida went into lockdown, the worship service was the one thing that kept her calm during an already rocky time.

Each time she was admitted, she prayed to be discharged just in time for the worship service, which illustrates just how important it was for her and her husband especially during this time to hear God’s words.

“It is so essential for us to receive God’s words because it is through His words that we obtain the hope and peace that we need. We can gain the strength and fortified faith to face whatever trials and hardships in this life. We are reminded of His promises that in difficult times His love and His protection will keep us safe.

A man and woman in front of a place of worship. A baby wrapped tightly in a blanket with overlay text Hope and Peace. — *Adelfa and Adrian Manguit at the Church Of Christ worship building in Miami weeks before the lockdown. Adelfa gave birth to a healthy baby on April 4, 2020.*

A repeating image of a man and woman smiling with overlay text, Beacon of Hope.

For Richard Carr, a grandfather from Seattle who still had to go into the office during the shutdown, the worship service served as a beacon of hope as the rising death rate in the US left little to be hopeful for.

“Every worship service has a very timely message, and even though we were not at the chapel, where we painfully longed to be, the message was not only comforting, but it was a joy to be able to listen to God’s words.” – Richard Carr, Seattle, Washington.

And for Jennifer Polintan from Rockland, New York, who saw almost every member in her family test positive with the coronavirus, the worship service was not just a source of hope, but something that bound her family together, despite being physically apart, especially when her 76- year old father was rushed to the hospital.

“Being able to connect with the worship services is tremendous. Knowing that they were in the hospital they were still able to hear the words of God and were connected through the preaching.”

Jennifer’s father recovered after being on a ventilator for 12 days. Other members of her family recovered as well. Unfortunately, her mother-in-law who also contracted the virus passed away.

A repeating family photo with overlay text that reads, Stronger.

But the same way the words of God gave them the strength to face the sickness, it was God’s words that gave her and her family comfort during their time of grief.

“There’s going to be good and there’s going to be bad. But it’s always a test of faith. I remember one of the lessons we heard, that this was a test. This was only going to make us stronger.”

What she [my mother-in-law] leaves behind to us is her faith, her legacy. She said [to us] “ I will fight but it’s not as I will but as God wills… That’s what I’m going to remember. And that’s what I want my children to remember when they wonder why this is happening.”

These individuals are like many around the world facing the uncertainty of this pandemic.

Parents trying to homeschool their kids during the pandemic. Grandparents who hoped to spend time watching their grandchildren grow up. People scared to go out because they live in a hot zone. New parents, scared of the prospect of bringing their kids in the world.

And while these ordinary people struggle with the same feelings of loss and grief, the words of God they received during the worship service offers a certainty they could not find anywhere else.

“Worshipping God gives us a sense of security and assurance that, although we can only do so much, God can do so much more.” – Madane

Preparing for the future: An opportunity to change

According to the American Enterprise Institute, 37% of Americans who believe in God say the coronavirus outbreak has made them feel closer to God. But the same researchers aren’t sure how long this renewed religious commitment will last, or if it’s just a human reaction to the uncertainty they’re feeling right now.

As restrictions begin to relax and people work towards recovering some sense of normal life, we’re already seeing searches for prayer level off after spiking in March and April.

Google Trends graph of different prayer terms. — *Source: Google Trends 5/20/2020*

Yet, ask anyone around, there are still a lot of unknowns out there.

A New York Times headline that reads, U.S. Now Has More Known Cases Than Any Other Country, along with a graph below the headline

Is there a way to guarantee that this will be the last pandemic we face? Will the economy bounce back? What will the future look like for you? How will our new normal look like a year from now? Even as we write this, a new type of unrest is taking over the headlines.

While no one can answer these questions with 100% assurance, the words of God can help us face these unknowns and whatever else the future holds, knowing you have the ultimate guide directing your life.

Why do we feel such strength and comfort as we offer worship? Jesus said this:

Verse graphic that reads "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV

That’s how Madane is making it through. She is thankful for the preparation she receives in the worship service for whatever may come up next in our very uncertain future.

“Thinking back to the [Biblical] lessons before this all took place, they were all so timely. I know there is no such thing as coincidence, I know God was preparing us for this. I also knew that the [Biblical] lessons being taught during these times will address the things we are experiencing and that’s exactly how it’s been.

The [Biblical] lessons have made it “easy” to live through all this scary stuff. I didn’t need to search anywhere else outside the [Biblical] teachings of God taught during the worship services.”

A repeating image of a family with overlay text that reads, Lessons. — *Madane and her family after attending a worship service in Kent, Washington prior to COVID and shelter in place.*

Is this a wake-up call and who is it for?

Some say that this pandemic is a wake-up call—an opportunity for us to reassess our lives and the paths we’re taking. If you’ve gotten this far, perhaps the wake-up call is for you?

Perhaps you’re looking for a way to prepare for the next crisis that comes your way. It doesn’t even have to be another pandemic, a natural disaster, or something big. There are so many difficult things to face in life, perhaps next time you won’t have to go through it alone.

If you’re ready to find out how learning God’s words can help you face whatever life will bring, get in touch with us on incmedia.org, and let’s talk about it.

About the Writer:

This blog was co-written by Renezen Benedicto with biblical support by Bob Pellien, a minister of the gospel of the Church Of Christ.

Renezen is that introvert you probably saw in the corner reading articles on her phone. She worked in Human Resources for over 8 years until she found her true purpose of sharing God’s words to people around the world. When she’s not on her computer or her phone, she’s usually out running in San Francisco or trying something that makes her uncomfortable, like socializing and boxing.

Bob has been an ordained minister in the Church Of Christ (Iglesia Ni Cristo) for over 30 years.

A Worship Service to God via Live Streaming

As news of the pandemic spreads, Church Of Christ members listen to the words of God through a worship service lesson prepared by the Executive Minister.

Show/Hide Transcript

A Worship Service to God via Live Streaming

[Show open]

[On-screen text graphics]

On March 29, 2020, the Executive Minister of the Church Of Christ, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo, led brethren from different parts of the world in a worship service to God via live streaming.

While observing social distancing, brethren were still able to take part in the worship service and listen to the words of God that the Executive Minister preached.

Prior to this worship service, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo has given out Bible-based lessons that heads of households would be reading as they lead their household’s worship service.

[On-screen text graphics]

Sister Nikki Teopaco

South Atlanta, Georgia

Nikki Teopaco: What I have learned from the lessons prepared by our Executive Minister Brother Eduardo V. Manalo in household worship services is that we have our membership and that God doesn’t abandon His chosen. We have the blessing of healing coming from our Almighty Father and most especially the strength of faith to endure whatever crisis we have to face because our Almighty God will continue to guide us through those crises.

[On-screen text graphics]

The Executive Minister also mentioned that members of the Church Of Christ follow the government’s guidelines to prevent the spread of the deadly disease.

[On-screen text graphics]

Sister Patricia Antonio

Imabari, Japan

Patricia Antonio (in Tagalog): This is a great blessing for us because we know what is happening to the world today the spread of the infectious disease, COVID-19.

[On-screen text graphics]

Sister Maylani Hashimoto

Fukushima, Japan

Maylani Hashimoto (in Tagalog): I’m very joyful and I can’t explain my emotions because despite the epidemic affecting the entire world we were one of the remote sites led in the worship service officiated by Brother Eduardo Manalo.

Patricia (in Tagalog): In the homily of the Executive Minister, he reminded us that a member of the Church Of Christ should not be afraid, we should not give up, we should not let go of our faith, and none of us should get depressed.

[On-screen text graphics]

Sister Sheena Trapal

Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands

Sheena Trapal (in Tagalog): We should hold on to what our Lord God can do at all times, all the more as we experience the widespread poverty all over the world.

[On-screen text graphics]

Sister Rosemarie Ewing

Molokai, Hawaii

Rosemarie Ewing (in Tagalog): We need to stand up, tall and upright, fight for our faith, and trust in what God can do because He is the only one who can help us.

Patricia (in Tagalog): Despite the trials, we strive to continue our worship to our Lord God.

To our beloved Executive Minister, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo, thank you very very much.

[On-screen text graphics]

Brother Nicodemo Estrera

Hikone, Japan

Nicodemo Estrera (in Tagalog): For the hope that you give to each and every one of us.

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Sister Nicodemo Estrera

Alanya, Turkey

Nicodemo Estrera (in Tagalog): We thank the Executive Minister for his continuous guidance so that we can conduct our services to our Lord God.

Patricia (in Tagalog): We pray that our Lord God will always take care of you so that you can continue to lead us in serving God. Thank you very much!

[On-screen text graphics]

EXECUTIVE NEWS

Led in Worship During the Covid-19 Pandemic

As government officials set guidelines to limit the spread of the coronavirus, the Executive Minister of Church Of Christ instructs the brethren to worship God from their respective homes.

Listen to members of the Church Of Christ reflect after attending a worship service officiated by Brother Eduardo V. Manalo via videoconferencing wherein he reminded members to place their trust in God despite the difficult circumstances.

Show/Hide Transcript

Led in Worship During the Covid-19 Pandemic

[On Screen graphic: As the world continues to face the COVID-19 pandemic, various civil authorities have set laws and guidelines to stop the spread of the virus.

In compliance to this, the Executive Minister of the Church Of Christ, Brother Eduardo V. Manalo, has decided that worship services would be temporarily conducted in the respective homes of each member— while others hold video conferencing worship services.

On April 12, 2020, the Executive Minister once again led Church Of Christ members in different parts of the world in a worship service to God through videoconferencing.]

Brother Miguel Peralta: Despite that we cannot go out of our houses because of quarantine, that we can’t go to the chapel anymore because we are taking precautionary measures to protect ourselves, we still have not forsaken the value, the importance of the worship service. This is an instruction, this is a commandment from our Lord God.

Sister Nadine Duenas: Especially since we were led by our Executive Minister, we feel loved by our Lord God because we were inspired again and strengthened through the words of God.

Sister Aileen Mae Fisher: I feel like today’s worship service is very spiritual and very special. And I feel like today’s lesson really helped remind all of us members that, even in these scary and hard times, we shouldn’t in doubt God and put our full trust in Him because God will always be with us.

Sister Genina M. Nobella: When Brother Eduardo V. Manalo preached about trusting our Lord God no matter what happens in our life, and to focus on praising Him and giving glory to Him, I felt so blessed and so inspired all the more.

Sister Aileen: I think a good example from today was Brother Felix Y. Manalo and Abraham because they never doubted God and God always helped them and blessed them and kept them safe through even the hardest of times.

Sister Melissa Ibanez: Brother Eduardo V. Manalo, our Executive Minister, I would like to say, thank you for your constant love and care that, despite the long distance, we feel that you love us very much and we are praying for you always— for you and your family.

Sister Aileen: I’d really like to thank him for always helping us and always strengthening our faith by giving us lessons that encourage us.

Sister Melissa: I promise to always fulfill my duties no matter what happens in the world. I will keep my faith and I will be steadfast.

Sister Nadine: Spanish My conviction is that despite everything that is happening in the world, I will always trust in our Lord God—and that’s what Brother Eduardo Manalo always teaches us. I will always trust in God. I will never doubt what the Lord God can do for us and I will always be a faithful and strong member of the Church Of Christ.

[On-Screen graphic: Executive News]

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